This Midlands police officer represents true British values

Spectator

7 hours ago

There's been a tiny outbreak of sanity among British officialdom. Footage emerged on X at the weekend, captured on a doorbell camera in Coventry last Friday afternoon. The householder found a policeman at his door, clutching a small piece of paper.
'Warwickshire [police] have asked me to come round,' says the copper, looking affably embarrassed. 'It's a load of b******* mate, but it's about this protest tomorrow in Warwickshire. They're aware that you might be wanting to attend that planned protest'. The protest in question – outside the town hall in Nuneaton – was called for in response to the alleged rape of a 12-year-old girl in the town involving two men, reported to be asylum seekers.
The policeman continues, 'and obviously that's absolutely fine. You've got freedom of speech, and there are no issues at all. I apologise – and it's really woeful. It's not something I agree with, but I've been asked just to drop a leaflet about being involved in a protest. It sounds bad, but it is what it is.'
The homeowner retorts, 'Do me a favour. Take it back. Say we will no longer be silenced. And tell them to f*** off from me, with love. Cheers.'
The policeman reacts with cheery mirth and proceeds on his way.
There's been so much discussion about 'British values' over the last few years, so much head scratching and noddle bashing. We never wondered about defining these before about 2010. It would've seemed ludicrous even to mention the topic. You just knew; they were woven into the fabric of our lives so innately that you didn't think about them.
Attempts to define these values have usually felt like trying to catch a cloud and pin it down. Any suggestions have nearly always seemed nebulous or arbitrary. Oftenthe things advanced are something really twee or trivial like a CGI Paddington bear. Or they are banal – the NHS, as if we are the only country with hospitals. Or they are very recent – being nice to homosexuals.
The footage of this chipper doorstep incident made me snap my fingers and think, 'oh yes, British values – it's that'. Smiling at nonsense, maintaining a sense of proportion; laughing at spurious nonsense rather than genuflecting – literally kneeling, in the fairly recent history of the British police – to it.
It's been a very, very long time since I've seen this essence in any official representative. I've become accustomed to such functionaries having an eerie plasticity, talking in a peculiar language that's a mix of Apprentice-contestant flannel and Kapo guard. I pray that if I'm ever in a sticky situation it'll be this officer or somebody like him that comes to my aid.
Naturally the officer is now under investigation, or at least being 'spoken to' by his superiors in West Midlands Police. Well, we can't have a surge of perspective and good humour in the ranks, it just wouldn't do. Where would it all end? It might inspire other officers – perhaps to say 'don't be ridiculous' when asked to discipline a shopkeeper for describing shoplifters as 'scumbags'. Or, when dispatched to harass feminists for the possession of 'offensive' stickers, a policeman might reply 'you're having a laugh'. Heavens to Betsy, the police might even start treating people equally before the law, rather than caving before certain approved 'communities' with 'protected' characteristics or political views.
In other news, the police are currently seeking the 'vigilantes' who restrained and removed a very aggressive naked man on a tube train the other day, with a view to charging them with assault. The cops were nowhere to be seen during the actual incident, hence the public taking matters into their own hands. But they appear afterwards to arrest you, if you are forced to act by their absence.
If there were more officers like our cheerful friend in Coventry, such an investigation would be laughed out before it could even get started.
The shifting of our institutions away from reason since the 90s has been very disquieting, as the New Labour rot percolated through them, but it happened so very gradually that one often didn't notice until it was too late. There is something perfect about the leaflet in this story; it's the ideal prop of the petty governing class of our age, who have smashed up so much that was good, and think they can replace it with little signs and notices.
This policeman feels like the last survival of the Britain I knew the dog-end of, growing up. He is a throwback to the days of 'don't be daft', of the assumption that things, generally, worked fine, and that people, generally, had the sense they were born with. He should be treasured, not 'spoken to'.