Walking out of ‘WhatsApp' university

The Hindu

12 hours ago

Having spent my formative years as a boarder and then a lifetime in uniform, I found myself brimming with social energy upon superannuation. Naturally, I was drawn into the sprawling, chaotic world of what is colloquially known as 'WhatsApp University'.
In no time, I was added to a plethora of groups: my class group, the school alumni forum, NDA squadron, course mates, battalion groups — the list grew longer than a soldier's kit list. I soon realised that hours of my day were vanishing into the black hole of endless messages, emojis, forwarded gyaan, and the predictable avalanche of good mornings.
Frustrated, I decided to seek help from an old comrade and dear friend, now settled in Patiala. Known for his discipline and razor-sharp time management, he had always been the sort who would get things done before the deadline. His life post-retirement was a masterclass in balance. His office bore a blunt sign: 'Mobiles Not Permitted Inside.' As a boss, he would visibly bristle at anyone glancing at their phone mid-meeting — offenders were often shown the door, sometimes permanently. He was known to be a hard taskmaster and had the knack for getting things done before time. He was endowed with meticulous time management skills. He divided the 24 hours of the day into hours of physical fitness, work, and quality time with family. Over a well-earned Patiala peg, I asked him the pressing question: 'How do you handle this WhatsApp madness?'
He smiled and shared what I now call the 'Patiala Protocol' — his operating manual for staying sane in the age of digital deluge.
'It's not rocket science,' he began. 'I've confined all WhatsApp activity to a single hour — between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. — while I enjoy my tea with the family. That's it. No pressure, no guilt, and certainly no notifications pinging all day. I don't do ritualistic greetings — no 'good mornings', 'happy birthdays', or 'happy anniversaries' unless it's personal. Too many get it wrong anyway — wishing birthdays on wedding anniversaries and vice versa.' He added, 'I know of many instances when so-called well-wishers wished the wrong person or conveyed a 'happy birthday' on a person's wedding anniversary. I always greet or convey condolences personally.'
He went on: 'All group notifications are silenced. I never post or forward anything. I scroll quickly, pick what's useful, and move on. I avoid debates on politics, religion, or gender topics. I don't get offended by posts I disagree with. Why should I? My peace of mind is worth more than a meme. Now, this leaves me with plenty of time for my other productive hobbies of reading and writing. His philosophy was simple — low engagement, high relevance, zero drama.' I left his home lighter in spirit and grateful for the clarity he offered. In navigating WhatsApp University, it turns out, the trick isn't to respond faster — it's to respond less, but live more.
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