Paralysed woman shares her journey of rebirth at annual My Community Festival
SINGAPORE - The tears still flow for Ms Jean Ling at the memory of the accident that left her paralysed from the waist down 11 years ago.
While she was on holiday in New Zealand in March 2014, her car skidded off a road and slammed into a tree just before a planned horse-riding trip.
She had broken ribs, punctured lungs and severe spinal cord injuries. For four months, she stayed at a rehabilitation facility in Christchurch learning to navigate life with her disability.
During that time, Ms Ling, 42, said she 'cried every night at the thought that I could never walk again'.
'And I wondered if I could still have a happy life, get married or take care of myself?'
The answers to those questions have been yes, yes and yes.
Despite a permanent disability, Ms Ling, a procurement executive, is living life to the fullest now, and is determined to be an advocate for disability inclusion.
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She will share her story of resilience and rebirth with visitors to local charity SPD at the upcoming My Community Festival, which will take place from Aug 1 to 17.
The sixth edition of the annual festival, organised by non-profit group My Community, invites participants to explore how communities across Singapore experience and celebrate life's beginnings.
There will be over 70 guided tours, experiences and discussions curated around the theme My First Journey. Topics range from post-partum rituals and confinement meals, to spiritual renewal and emotional recovery.
'This year's theme invites us to honour not just the moment we are born, but the many times we are reborn – through pain, through faith, through choice,' said My Community executive director Kwek Li Yong.
Whether it is the woman who overcomes cancer and learns to live again, the man who walks again with a new limb, or the former offender who is given a second chance – these are all first journeys long after they thought their lives were over, he added.
For Ms Ling, her 'rebirth' came when she woke up to hear the doctor tell her that her spinal cord injuries meant she could never walk again.
'I'm a crazy, extroverted kind of person. Mentally, I accepted it, though emotionally I had not,' she said.
Eventually, while she was undergoing rehabilitation in New Zealand, she found strength in the courage of others whom she got to know there, such as an 18-year-old who broke her neck and spinal cord after a diving mishap, and a honeymooning couple from Hong Kong who had a car accident that robbed the bride of her speech and mobility.
Back in Singapore, she spent eight months at the Transition To Employment programme at SPD, receiving therapy and support.
Through mutual friends, she met Mr Jake Oh, an engineer, and they got married in 2017.
'I thought nobody would love me,' said Ms Ling, now a mother of three children, aged four months to five years old. 'The fact is, I even lost a lot of friends after the accident. We simply drifted apart. They might think they had better not disturb me, or that it was not convenient for me to go out.'
Through mutual friends, Ms Jean Ling met Mr Jake Oh, an engineer, and they got married in 2017.
ST PHOTO: GAVIN FOO
Ms Ling, the face of SPD's 2022 public education campaign which challenges societal stereotypes about people with disabilities, said: 'I want more people to understand the difficulties we face every day.'
These include everyday challenges, such as wheelchair users having to compete with others to use the lifts during peak hours.
'It has to start with the young. Schools should have talks to teach children (to have) empathy towards people with disabilities. They should help the young understand what people with disabilities are going through, and teach them to react appropriately around them,' she said.
She once got into a lift and overheard a child complaining to the parents: 'Why (does) this auntie on the wheelchair want to squeeze in? I cannot move.'
Ms Ling wants to set a good example for her two daughters and a son.
While she has to depend on her husband and domestic helper to bathe her children or pick up their toys – 'These seemingly simple tasks are difficult for me,' she said – she tries to be there for her children whenever she can, including preparing their meals.
Her adventurous spirit has endured, too, as she focuses on the 'ability' in her disability. In 2017, she returned to New Zealand to try adaptive skiing, skydiving and horseback riding.
She also challenged herself to try indoor rock climbing aided by a special harness in Singapore and scuba diving in Malaysia.
Since becoming a mother, Ms Ling has put her adventures on hold, prioritising her loved ones.
'I feel I have the responsibility to my family and not risk my life in case of another freak accident,' she said.
More information on the My Community Festival is available on
https://mycommunityfestival.sg /
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