Splaine: What would you do if you only had one week to live?
Liking what we do for work. Many of us fall into a rut and take jobs that are the same old grind every day. We get up, have the same old regular breakfast, put on the same old regular clothes, then go to work for 8 to 10 hours or so and return home tired. Admit it − we've all had jobs like that, if only temporarily for a few months or a year until we found something better.
It's great when we find something we like to do, and make a living doing it. Looking forward to waking up each morning and going to work is a special reward that doesn't belong to everyone, but when it happens you've hit the jackpot. A good mantra is: "Work to live, don't live to work." There's so much in this world to explore and see and do in addition to work.
"The Deathbed Exercise." That brings us to the real subject of this column, and that's to encourage you to take a little exercise. It's quite simple. No "yes" or "no" answers. No scores assigned. It's self-evaluation.
Some years ago I conducted workshops on a variety of topics for businesses and organizations. Topics included stress management, time management, customer service, dealing with workplace conflicts, and diversity training. But the workshop I personally enjoyed doing most, and which was very popular, was what I called "The Deathbed Exercise."
I didn't invent it. Go online and you'll see lots of versions of deathbed exercises which get people to focus on what's important in their lives. But the approach I took in my workshops was a bit different, and much more personal.
Whether you're 25, 55 or 85, this exercise can be thought-provoking for you. Start by putting yourself into a mindset that you have only another week to ten days to live. We'll all end up there someday, so don't be scared of the thought. Consider that you're comfortable on your "deathbed," surrounded by family and friends, and you have the luxury of a few more days to think about your thousands of memories and the work you've accomplished, and the family and friends you love.
Not everyone is equal in this equation − inequality of life is part of the formula we signed up for being born. Our own lives may be short or may be long. But each of us had our joys and happiness as well as our struggles and tears. Here are three questions for you:
1. Do I wish I had spent more time at the office? At work, the warehouse, the shop, at my business, on the job, in that building where I had to go every day to make a living?
2. What do I remember most fondly about my life? Who was I with, what was I doing, where did I travel, what place did I enjoy being most? What and whom were the loves of my life?
3. If I do just have 7-10 days left, of all the places I traveled where would I like to visit a final time?
Time to change something? After doing The Deathbed Exercise, be thankful it was ONLY an exercise. It was just a snapshot − an inventory − of where you are today. Starting today, you can make changes. Because today, each of us has the gift of time. We don't know how much time, but we have that gift.
Your answers aren't for others to judge, just yourself. For me, though, I always thought my big brother John had it right in the motto he wrote in his 1957 PHS yearbook photo: "We should use things and love people, instead of using people and loving things."
Today's quote:"Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention." - Frank Sinatra, "My Way," recorded December 30, 1968. Lyrics by Paul Anka.
Next time: Get ready. Get set. Run for office!
Variously since 1969, Jim Splaine has been New Hampshire state senator for six years and state representative for 24 years. He was Portsmouth assistant mayor for 12 years, city councilor for 18 years, Police Commission member, and served on the School Board. Contact him at jimsplaineportsmouthNH@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Portsmouth Herald: Splaine: What would you do if you only had one week to live?
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