logo
Splaine: What would you do if you only had one week to live?

Splaine: What would you do if you only had one week to live?

Yahoo13-07-2025
It's summer. It's time to work and play. Our Seacoast area lets us do a lot of each. But, balancing the two isn't easy. Most of us have to work for a living. And most of us haven't figured a way to make loads of money, so we have to work a long part of our lives. For ourselves. For our families. To buy stuff.
Liking what we do for work. Many of us fall into a rut and take jobs that are the same old grind every day. We get up, have the same old regular breakfast, put on the same old regular clothes, then go to work for 8 to 10 hours or so and return home tired. Admit it − we've all had jobs like that, if only temporarily for a few months or a year until we found something better.
It's great when we find something we like to do, and make a living doing it. Looking forward to waking up each morning and going to work is a special reward that doesn't belong to everyone, but when it happens you've hit the jackpot. A good mantra is: "Work to live, don't live to work." There's so much in this world to explore and see and do in addition to work.
"The Deathbed Exercise." That brings us to the real subject of this column, and that's to encourage you to take a little exercise. It's quite simple. No "yes" or "no" answers. No scores assigned. It's self-evaluation.
Some years ago I conducted workshops on a variety of topics for businesses and organizations. Topics included stress management, time management, customer service, dealing with workplace conflicts, and diversity training. But the workshop I personally enjoyed doing most, and which was very popular, was what I called "The Deathbed Exercise."
I didn't invent it. Go online and you'll see lots of versions of deathbed exercises which get people to focus on what's important in their lives. But the approach I took in my workshops was a bit different, and much more personal.
Whether you're 25, 55 or 85, this exercise can be thought-provoking for you. Start by putting yourself into a mindset that you have only another week to ten days to live. We'll all end up there someday, so don't be scared of the thought. Consider that you're comfortable on your "deathbed," surrounded by family and friends, and you have the luxury of a few more days to think about your thousands of memories and the work you've accomplished, and the family and friends you love.
Not everyone is equal in this equation − inequality of life is part of the formula we signed up for being born. Our own lives may be short or may be long. But each of us had our joys and happiness as well as our struggles and tears. Here are three questions for you:
1. Do I wish I had spent more time at the office? At work, the warehouse, the shop, at my business, on the job, in that building where I had to go every day to make a living?
2. What do I remember most fondly about my life? Who was I with, what was I doing, where did I travel, what place did I enjoy being most? What and whom were the loves of my life?
3. If I do just have 7-10 days left, of all the places I traveled where would I like to visit a final time?
Time to change something? After doing The Deathbed Exercise, be thankful it was ONLY an exercise. It was just a snapshot − an inventory − of where you are today. Starting today, you can make changes. Because today, each of us has the gift of time. We don't know how much time, but we have that gift.
Your answers aren't for others to judge, just yourself. For me, though, I always thought my big brother John had it right in the motto he wrote in his 1957 PHS yearbook photo: "We should use things and love people, instead of using people and loving things."
Today's quote:"Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention." - Frank Sinatra, "My Way," recorded December 30, 1968. Lyrics by Paul Anka.
Next time: Get ready. Get set. Run for office!
Variously since 1969, Jim Splaine has been New Hampshire state senator for six years and state representative for 24 years. He was Portsmouth assistant mayor for 12 years, city councilor for 18 years, Police Commission member, and served on the School Board. Contact him at jimsplaineportsmouthNH@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Portsmouth Herald: Splaine: What would you do if you only had one week to live?
Orange background

Try Our AI Features

Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:

Comments

No comments yet...

Related Articles

Exclusive: Paris Hilton Says This U.S. Resort Is One of Her 'Favorite Places on Earth'—Plus Her Go-to Room Service Order
Exclusive: Paris Hilton Says This U.S. Resort Is One of Her 'Favorite Places on Earth'—Plus Her Go-to Room Service Order

Travel + Leisure

time40 minutes ago

  • Travel + Leisure

Exclusive: Paris Hilton Says This U.S. Resort Is One of Her 'Favorite Places on Earth'—Plus Her Go-to Room Service Order

For Paris Hilton, family traditions and luxury hotels go hand in hand. Over the last two years, the iconic world traveler has been posting stunning photo albums of her young family's stays at the Grand Wailea in Maui for their holiday vacations on social media, sharing that it's been a family tradition since she was two years old, with her sister, Nikki Hilton, chiming in: 'Favorite hotel.' So what makes the Grand Wailea—a Waldorf Astoria Resort and one of the premier Hilton properties—the Hilton sisters' favorite? Paris Hilton talked with Travel + Leisure earlier this month, revealing why the resort means so much to her family, including husband Carter Reum and their young children, son Phoenix and daughter London. 'Grand Wailea is one of my favorite places on Earth. It's just so beautiful and peaceful. The second we land, I feel like I can just relax and get away from it all,' Hilton shared with T+L. 'It's become such a special place for my family. London actually took her very first steps there, which I'll never forget. Now it's where we make new memories together, and that means everything to me.' Aerial view of the Grand Wailea in Maui. Grand Wailea, A Waldorf Astoria Resort Choosing to spend Christmas and New Year's at Grand Wailea is not just 'sliving the dream' for Hilton; it also means she has experienced the transformation of the resort throughout its multi-year, $500 million renovation, which included the debut of the 50,000-square-foot Kilolani Spa, newly appointed guest rooms and suites, and wellness collaborations with Erewhon and The Biostation, culminating with the opening of the first Nobu restaurant on Maui in early May. Hilton launched skincare brand Parivie this May, so she's naturally a fan of the state-of-the-art super-spa, which integrates Native Hawaiian moon rituals in its treatments. So far, she has indulged in two signature treatments. 'The new spa is amazing. I had the Lomi Lomi Massage and a facial that left my skin glowing,' she said. 'I've always been super into skincare, especially now with launching Parivie, so I love when a spa really gets it.' Paris and her daughter London celebrating New Year's at the Grand Wailea. Hilton says she appreciates the other upgrades at Grand Wailea, too. 'It's gotten even more gorgeous over the years. I love how it still feels warm and relaxed, but now with these really beautiful, elevated details. And I'm so proud of my friend Melissa Wood-Tepperberg. Seeing her MWH workouts featured on the in-room TVs at the resort is so cool. She's such a beautiful soul and has built something so inspiring,' she shared. 'As a mom, I appreciate how easy it is to be at the resort with kids—they're having fun, and I still get to relax. When we're there, we love just hanging out by the pool, going on beach walks, and snuggling up for family movie nights.' First thing you do when you check in? Take a mirror selfie and check out the view. In-room essentials? My full Parivie skincare routine, my pink silk sleep mask, and my iPad loaded with baby videos. Go-to room service order? Truffle fries and green juice. Favorite lounging outfits? Velour tracksuit or a soft matching set—always cozy. Best thing about staying in a hotel? It feels like a reset: calm, cozy, and a little magical. Any Paris-inspired hotel partnerships in the works? We're working on some exciting ideas right now that I can't share just yet, but let's just say I'm dreaming big. And we're definitely looking into ways to bring Parivie into Hilton hotels soon. That would be such a dream come true. Interior of the Stay Like an Infinite Icon Suites at The Beverly Hilton/11:11 Media Of course, the international influencer and hotel scion—who has partnered with Hilton's 'It Matters Where You Stay' advertising campaign since it launched in 2022, in collaboration with her own 11:11 Media company–has a few other must-stay hotels on her list. As part of the campaign and to celebrate her 'Infinite Icon' album release last fall, she collaborated with The Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills on the creation of Paris-inspired 'Stay Like An Infinite Icon' pink-on-pink suites. And, while you might think that Paris, France, would hold a special place in her heart, it turns out that it's another city across the pond that truly calls to her. 'London is my favorite city. It's where I feel most inspired, and of course, we named our daughter London,' Hilton told T+L. 'I love the London Hilton Park Lane. It's classic, elegant, and feels like a true home away from home.' Paris, her husband Carter Reum, and their children Phoenix and London in front of the London Hilton on Park Lane. Another longtime personal favorite: Waldorf Astoria New York, which Hilton recently toured with Gayle King for CBS Morning News ahead of its eagerly anticipated grand reopening this summer. 'It's such an iconic building. It was so great getting to chat with Gayle. She is amazing, and we talked about so many beautiful memories,' Hilton said about her times living in the flagship hotel, laughing about her escapades sneaking out to hit hotspots in the city that never sleeps when she was young. 'I've spent so much of my life in hotels—they're a huge part of my story.' Paris poses with Gayle King during their visit to the recently reopened Waldorf Astoria New York. Over the years, Hilton says she has perfected her hotel rituals. Her go-to hotel tips as a new mom are 'unpack right away, bring some familiar little extras for the kids, and stick to your routine.' To make her family's hotel suites feel more like home, 'I always set up my skincare and makeup right when I arrive. I like having a little glam station.' Like most of us, Hilton also admits that one of her hotel habits is lounging in her hotel robe. 'I pretty much live in the hotel robe as much as possible.' While slaying her stay and nonstop traveling with her family in tow has become a way of life for Hilton, she says she doesn't take anything for granted. "I am grateful to be in this era of my life— getting to travel, spend time with my family, and create new traditions. Truly feeling like a 'Sliving Mom!''

Instead of an Engagement Ring, I Proposed With This Instead — And It Was Best Decision
Instead of an Engagement Ring, I Proposed With This Instead — And It Was Best Decision

Yahoo

time3 hours ago

  • Yahoo

Instead of an Engagement Ring, I Proposed With This Instead — And It Was Best Decision

It was a brisk, sunny day in March 2016 when a stack of packages arrived at my desk. Underneath the PR mailers and unsolicited product samples was a large brown box with a shipping address from Wisconsin. 'It's here,' I whispered to the cluster of writers typing away at the communal table around me. My colleagues broke out in applause. Tonight, I thought, I will be engaged. My partner, Beth, and I had been together for about three years when we decided to get married. One thing (of many!) that convinced me we were right for each other was how intentional our relationship was, and is. If one of us cooked dinner one night, the other donned an apron the next. If someone handled vacation accommodations, the other planned the itinerary. We tried our best to work as a team. Rethinking Tradition When we talked about marriage, we were faced with all the traditions that came with it. The dress, the rings, the shockingly overpriced cake. We wanted something different, more like us. 'What if we just threw it all out, pretended we'd never heard of weddings, and instead did whatever feels like it commemorates our love?' I asked her. 'What would our party look like if we were raised on a desert island and had never known about the veils and awkward speeches?' She got me right away — she usually does. The first order of business was the engagement. A surprise proposal didn't feel quite right. I saw my friends get so stressed over popping The Question. A date night in Central Park or a random dinner became loaded with anticipation: Would he propose? The idea of the proposal being one partner's responsibility didn't fit our relationship. Besides, Beth isn't a big fan of surprises (I can't imagine anything she'd hate more than being surrounded with a mob of tourists as I get on one knee in front of the Eiffel Tower). As for rings, we knew we would exchange them on our wedding day, but we wanted to don them together as we entered a new stage in our relationship. Besides, the history of the engagement ring (and many other elements of traditional weddings) never sat quite right with me. Historically, women wore engagement rings to indicate an impending transfer of ownership from father to husband, and as a marker of relationship status and the resulting uplevel in her social standing. Meanwhile, a man who was engaged remained unmarked; the status of his betrothal less critical to his identity. Still, we did want to mark our engagement with something special that we could experience and enjoy together. Enter the mysterious brown box from Wisconsin. In it was our (much less expensive) version of an engagement ring: a quilt! A Keepsake We Could Share The idea for an engagement quilt came about as we were decorating our first shared apartment together — we both wished we had more original art, but we were working with a modest budget. One idea we batted around was a custom quilt, but the price tag felt hard to swallow. Fast forward to discussing our engagement. The quilt idea reemerged, and this time, the price felt appropriate given what the finished product would represent. As an author of craft books, I knew a lot of incredible crafty folks in the Brooklyn arts scene, including Kim, whom I'd met at a DIY event in Greenpoint. We stayed in touch when she moved to Wisconsin, when I saw she'd picked up quilting, I knew she would be perfect for our project. I emailed her with our idea, and she was immediately in. Our instructions were simple: Make a quilt of your choosing (we picked the color palette) and, when you finish it, stitch the month and year into the fabric and send it to us. The day we received it would mark our engagement. History in the Stitches Everything about the quilt was a perfect symbol of our growing relationship. Born in Mississippi, with many years spent living in Alabama and Tennessee, Beth noted the deep cultural and historical roots of quilts and quilting in the South. She spoke of Gee's Bend (where bold, modernist quilts made mostly by Black women gained national recognition) and of a friend from Birmingham who asked guests to contribute a customized quilt square that she had sewn together for her wedding. I loved the idea of cozying up in our engagement quilt for years to come, our family evolving underneath its cotton patchwork. Plus, the act of this keepsake being stitched together slowly and deliberately felt like the perfect representation of our relationship. The first time I saw Beth, I caught my breath as she walked past me in the lobby of the building where we both worked. Then, in a twist of fate, we began working at the same company. From there, we became close friends, our stories weaving a closer and closer knit until we started to date. Kim got to work on the quilt in December of 2015. We told her to take her time — we wanted it to be something she loved as much as we would. The seasons passed in a blur of crowded subway rides, illegal grill-outs on the roof of our apartment and shoveling out the downstairs tenants in the winter (we were the acting supers of our building). A little more than a year later, that unsuspecting box landed on my desk. The Engagement Night That night, I left work early so I could beat Beth home. I picked up some flowers, candles and fresh ingredients for a special dinner. When I got home, I laid out our wedding rings (we had already purchased them to exchange on the big day) and the flowers next to the brown box with a pair of gold scissors that I bought especially for this night. Dinner was almost ready when Beth got home and saw the display. She beamed in the candlelight. Together, we opened the box and withdrew the quilt. It was perfect. Peach, gray and black shapes punctuated the white fabric in a slightly staccato pattern. We kissed. We were engaged! Almost a decade later, the quilt has become a part of our family in a way a diamond ring never could. It festooned our bed in Brooklyn, moved with us to our first home together in New Jersey. It got piled into a ball as our new dog, Olive, joined the fray. We've read beneath it, snuggled side by side in the winter and have let it air-dry on the clothesline in the summer. Instead of slipping on rings, we wrapped ourselves in something warmer — stitched with intention, and soft enough to carry us through the years. You Might Also Like 67 Best Gifts for Women That'll Make Her Smile The Best Pillows for Every Type of Sleeper Solve the daily Crossword

I'm 5 Feet Tall, and I'm Eyeing These 11 Petite Midi and Maxi Dresses at Amazon, Nordstrom, and More—From $20
I'm 5 Feet Tall, and I'm Eyeing These 11 Petite Midi and Maxi Dresses at Amazon, Nordstrom, and More—From $20

Travel + Leisure

time5 hours ago

  • Travel + Leisure

I'm 5 Feet Tall, and I'm Eyeing These 11 Petite Midi and Maxi Dresses at Amazon, Nordstrom, and More—From $20

As someone five-feet-tall, I know that shopping for a midi-length or maxi dress that won't drag on the ground is, well, a drag. Either you have to spend time (and money) tailoring it, or do some legwork to find stylish petite options from online retailers, considering the right size is rarely in stores. With a few summer vacations on my calendar, I opted for the latter option and browsed through my go-to petite brands to find flattering dresses that fit my frame perfectly. Naturally, I had to share my findings with my fellow petite shoppers, so I rounded up the best maxi and midi dress options from Amazon, Nordstrom, Anthropologie, and more. From a $29 travel-friendly knit dress to a European-summer-inspired maxi shirt dress, I found styles for every travel itinerary. Keep reading for 11 of my top picks, starting at $20. You'll never catch me in the airport in a dress above my knees, but now and then, I like to throw on a stylish, comfortable midi dress to elevate my travel look. This Gap ribbed knit option is perfect for exactly that, and with a $29 price tag, I immediately added it to my shopping cart. I opted for the olive green shade, which will seamlessly transition into fall, but it is also available in black, striped, and fuchsia. This sleeveless midi dress is effortlessly chic and looks much more expensive than its $35 price tag. The fitted top is made from a comfortable, smocked knit material, and it's paired with a puffed peplum skirt featuring a flattering drop waistline that helps make your torso appear longer—perfect for petite shoppers. Quince is known for its effortless travel clothing, and this midi tank dress is no exception. The travel-ready piece is made from a breathable, soft cotton blend. One five-foot-two reviewer wrote that "the dress is perfect," adding that it's "simple and sophisticated." This light and airy maxi dress captures the art of summer dressing. It is trimmed with lace detailing and features an embroidered design on the bodice. Now, the hard part is deciding between the classic black shade and the cottagecore-inspired indigo. Considering they're both on sale, I might have to snag both! While this midi dress isn't available in petite sizing, it has adjustable spaghetti straps that allow for a customizable fit. The fit-and-flare dress, which can be easily dressed up or down, features a fitted ribbed bodice with a low scoop back and a flowing skirt. This maxi dress features a similar design to the above option, with a fitted, tank top bodice and an airy skirt, but its high neckline provides a bit more coverage. One five-foot-tall reviewer wrote that it's a 'great length,' and added that they 'loved it so much,' they bought a second color. The best part? It's marked down to just $22 right now, so I'm not missing my opportunity to shop it while it's on sale. This Lands' End petite maxi dress is begging to be worn on a tropical vacation, and its airy, lightweight material will help keep you cool on a hot summer day. It features a stretchy, smocked elastic back and adjustable tie straps, providing additional length customization for the petite dress. I'm not headed to Europe this summer, but if I were, I could easily picture myself strolling the cobblestone streets of Paris in this top-rated breezy shirtdress from The shirred elastic waist provides shape to the flowy silhouette, and it comes with a slip lining underneath the subtly sheer overlay fabric. I can already tell this ultra-comfy jersey maxi dress would become one of my staple travel pieces. It features flattering details, such as a smoothing waistband and a deep V-neck. Plus, the pullover design makes it easy to throw on and go, whether I'm catching an early morning flight or making a quick change before dinner. I can't resist a perfectly tailored dress, and this petite Anthropologie number fits the bill. The casual yet elegant shirt dress features eye-catching details, including a classic collar, exaggerated sleeves, and flattering pleats around the bodice. Additionally, the button-up front allows for a customizable look that can be worn as a dress or paired over a pair of shorts and a classic white tee. This top-rated midi dress is made from a summery, lightweight linen material and has a smocked waistband with a tie at the center and capped sleeves. One reviewer raved that it's 'very flattering and comfortable,' and a five-foot-three shopper wrote that 'the length is perfect.' Right now, the midi is an additional 40 percent off, bringing the price down to $84. Love a great deal? Sign up for our T+L Recommends newsletter and we'll send you our favorite travel products each week.

DOWNLOAD THE APP

Get Started Now: Download the App

Ready to dive into a world of global content with local flavor? Download Daily8 app today from your preferred app store and start exploring.
app-storeplay-store