I feared my career was over but now I'm determined to shine for Northern Ireland, declares Conor Washington
Washington is pursuing his passion for coaching at the Irish FA's coach education course in Belfast but his playing future remains uncertain after leaving Championship club Derby County at the end of his contract.
The 33-year-old failed to feature in the League for the Rams last season and has not played for his country since 2023 when he was a second-half substitute in a 2-0 win over Denmark.
Washington made his Northern Ireland debut in 2016, earning 43 caps. He would love to hit the 50 mark but knows only a revitalised club career will force open the international door again.
'It has been hugely frustrating,' he admitted. 'There's been times where I've thought, am I at the end of my career? Should I go straight into coaching?
'I stepped off the bus at the hotel, ruptured three of my ligaments on the outside of my ankle. And then I went for my coaching badges and tripped over the ball and just had a bit of a problem with the nerve on the outside of my calf. It was crazy stuff.
'I wasn't involved against Blackburn on the first day of the season. And then I had gastritis. I don't know if anyone's had gastritis here, but I felt like I was having a heart attack. Then I'm out of the squad as the season goes on.
'I've been training and feel in a good place. I look back and there were so many caps I missed, just from injuries at the wrong time. I missed so many of them. I'd love to get to 50.
'I still feel really good, and I still feel like I can go and play for two or three more years. Obviously, I've got to get myself to a playing level that Michael's (O'Neill) got to at least have a look. I obviously had a really good relationship with Michael. He knew what he was getting.
'Never say never. And I'm looking forward to the challenge because, listen, that is in my mind. It has been in my mind over the last 12 months that I miss playing international football.'
Washington joined Derby in July 2023, playing 22 games and scoring three goals as County secured promotion from League One last term.
However, he has played no part in the club's escape from relegation this season.
'Some days I wake up and I'm in an absolute panic that I haven't got a club and I don't know where I'm going to be and I don't know if anyone's going to want to take me,' he added.
'And then other days, I think, it's not even June, like calm your jets and just chill out and enjoy the break.
'I think the hunger's there probably more than it ever has been just because I've sort of been denied playing football for 12 months. So I think it's always the way once you get past 30, you're keenly aware that, listen, it's not going to go on forever.
'So I want to make it go on for as long as I can because of how much I enjoy playing the game again. There's been periods in my career where I've not particularly enjoyed football. The pressure's been high.
'I've not been playing. I've been in and out. But then, like I say, it's not until you realise that it doesn't go on forever and how privileged you actually are that the last two or three years I've started to really enjoy the actual game of football.
'I still want to keep playing for the next couple of years, or the next four or five years if I can be like Steven Davis, Jonny Evans and Gareth McAuley.
'As much as I love the coaching, my focus is very much still on playing.'
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