Materialists brings up the age old debate: 10 women on whether they actually care about a man's height

Cosmopolitan

a day ago

In Materialists, as Lucy (played by Dakota Johnson) sits across from Henry (Pedro Pascal) at an expensive restaurant, she explains to him why he's considered a 'unicorn' — in simple terms, a real, rare catch.
What is it about Henry that makes him such an attractive prospect (well, apart from being played by Pascal, of course)? Well, as Lucy goes on to explain, he's handsome, rich, kind — and over 6ft tall.
This summer's blockbuster, then, has reignited the age old debate: does men's height really matter in dating?
Before we get into the debate, it's worth pointing out — as cheesy as this sounds — that no physical trait matters in dating nearly as much as compatibility, mutual respect, and finding a partner who makes you feel good and treats you well. Plus, despite what western beauty standards would like us to believe, there's no such thing as an ideal physicality.
Still, while we all know that looks aren't everything when it comes to finding love, height does appear to be a real sticking point for many women looking to date men — to the extent that some men desperately go to extremes to gain an extra few inches (look up limb stretching, if you dare).
A YouGov study from earlier this year found that 55% of women believe single people should be able to filter by height on dating apps (interestingly, 56% of men also agree on this point). Meanwhile, there are numerous research papers which suggest women generally prefer a significant height difference between them and male partners — this is likely down to evolutionary factors, such as taller men being able to protect and provide better than competitors, as well as sociocultural reasons, where we've been socialised into believing being small and petite is the same as being feminine.
But in more recent years, being 6ft or taller is being touted as 'the benchmark' for attractive men. A former product manager from Bumble claimed that most women set their lower height limit for men at 6ft, which would wipe out around 85% of men in the UK (the average height of a British man is thought to be 5ft 9). A perfunctory look on TikTok merely confirms preference for especially taller guys; there are 141.9 million posts tagged '6 Foot Guy' (and who could forget last summer, when we were all looking for 6ft 5 man in finance?)
Ofc, there are some notable exceptions of famously statuesque women dating men who are shorter than them — Zendaya and Tom Holland, Erin Darke and Daniel Radcliffe, and Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, to name just a few — but do women really want their male partners to measure up to size in the year of 2025? Or is it just a big old myth?
Cosmopolitan UK asked 10 women for their thoughts on dating shorter men — and, as expected, the responses are pretty varied.
'My ex was the same height as me, 5ft 7. It didn't bother me at all. I tend to date shorter guys anyway, and I have no idea why. I guess I'm just attracted to them. I loved hugging him because I could put my arms around his shoulders and our bodies just almost became one. Honestly after a while I didn't even notice it anymore' — MissyTX via Reddit
'I am 5ft 7 and my boyfriend is 5ft 5 on a good day. I've never been big on height but, I will admit, on the first date it took some getting used to. We've honestly never even talked about it and I've gotten used to it and don't even think about it anymore." — Jenneapolis via Reddit
'I dated someone who said they were my height (5ft 5), and really the only person who found it an issue was him because he kept making jokes about how short he was and it made me want to cry.' — Katie*
'I'm 5ft 2 and I probably wouldn't want to date someone shorter than me, but that would be very short for a man I guess. I actually didn't really like dating men over 6ft when I was dating because I find standing really close to a really tall person kind of intimidating, and it makes me feel inferior. My ideal height in a partner would probably be around 5ft 10, but it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me.' — Beth*
'My boyfriend is shorter than me, he's 5ft 9. At the beginning of our relationship it did cause some problems (I walk fast[er than him]; holding hands while walking was kinda awkward when I wore heels), but we've figured all that out rather quickly. He's fantastic and I'm lucky to have him in my life.' — Kotacoette via Reddit
'As a 5ft 9 girlie, I would always date someone taller than me. It's mainly because of my own body insecurities that I'd want my partner to be taller, but that doesn't mean they have to be 6ft 4 — just at least an inch or two taller than me. Also think it's very selfish when super short girls date super tall guys, save some for the rest of us' — Marianne*
'Being short is an absolute deal breaker. I dated a guy that was 5ft 5, and he had short man syndrome. Never again. I'm tall and felt like a giant too.' — Send_Me_An_Angel via Reddit
'I've dated across the height spectrum and think it's all about confidence/how you wear that height. If a man can own his height, whatever it is, then that's attractive. Kendrick Lamar is 5ft 6, and could you imagine him turning up to a date and being like, 'Omg sorry I'm so short, hate my life'? Also I literally threw my neck out a couple of months ago kissing my boyfriend — who is 6ft 2 — goodbye, and literally needed physio. Sometimes there's a thing as too tall' — Jenni
'I'm 5ft 3, so I've never cared about height. My husband happens to be 6ft 3 though, but I didn't actively care whether I was with someone over 6ft… I promise!' — Clare*
'Dear Short Kings, I simply could not. I'm 5ft7 — not exactly giraffe-level, but not a height which screams damsel in distress either. If I dated someone shorter, I'd feel like a Viking Shieldmaiden preparing for battle, not a dainty delicate flower from an Austen novel. I strictly swipe right on 6ft over.' — Marie*
So, there you have it. Just like with any trait in dating, some women care about height and others don't.
Perhaps fitness blogger Zanna van Dijk summarises the issue best. Taking to Instagram in June this year, she wrote: 'I'm 6ft 2, my husband is shorter than me, and we met on a dating app. When I was younger, society told me that I had to date men taller than me. So if the height filter had existed back then, we probably wouldn't have matched. And that blows my mind. Because this relationship has taught me height doesn't dictate compatibility. It doesn't make someone kind. Or funny. Or supportive. Or a great life partner.'
And of course, this is the point at the very heart of Materialists. The film suggests that the 'Tinderfied' nature of dating, which prioritises superficial qualities such as wealth and looks — for any gender — shouldn't supersede genuine, authentic connections. Regardless of whatever we consider our 'type' to be, it's always important to remain open-minded; the rigidity of searching for a certain type of person — seeing them not as a whole person, but as a list of attributes — may see us lose out on finding a truly happy relationship.
Besides, when it comes to height, it really doesn't matter — we're all the same height lying down, after all.
*Names have been changed
Kimberley Bond is a Multiplatform Writer for Harper's Bazaar, focusing on the arts, culture, careers and lifestyle. She previously worked as a Features Writer for Cosmopolitan UK, and has bylines at The Telegraph, The Independent and British Vogue among countless others.