Can a $6,000 coach get you into your dream sorority?

Yahoo

a day ago

At the start of her sophomore year at Florida State University, Kasey Hines felt increasingly dejected.
During 'rush,' a one-to-two-week gantlet of events and conversations for potential new sorority sisters, she fell into depression. Hines had always imagined Greek life as part of the quintessential college experience, but each morning brought another list of houses that had dropped her as she was coping with her mom's faltering health.
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'It felt like a group of girls looking you dead in the eye and saying, 'Ew, not you,'' Hines told The Washington Post. 'I remember I was so excited when I went into my first recruitment I never anticipated that I would feel anything less than amazing. But it was a very emotionally draining process. It is a lot harder than you could even think.'
A year later, she decided to try again - this time, in secret. Using money she'd saved from working at Dillard's, a department store in her hometown, and hostessing at beachfront restaurants, Hines hired a rush consultant for just under $1,000. During the summer she told people she was taking a virtual class but really she was meeting with a coach who walked her through the unspoken rules - why 'casual' on the official dress code doesn't really mean casual, the talking points she should make (such as hobbies, not grades) and how to navigate her past rush mistakes (like dwelling too much on the sororities that dropped her). Her coach became her emotional anchor.
In fall 2020, she got her bid (a formal invite to join a sorority) to Delta Zeta. And when the moment came, the first person she told wasn't her parents or her friends - it was her rush consultant. 'She knew more about my feelings than anyone else did,' Hines said.
Greek life used to be a mostly closed-door tradition, until 'RushTok' blew it wide open. In the years after the pandemic, TikTok feeds became filled with synchronized dances, matching Bid-Day outfits and young women eager to make the perfect first impression in the quest to find 'sisterhood' during the rush recruitment process each August. The phenomenon has sparked documentaries, brands shelling out sponsorships to members with high follower counts and even a new Lifetime reality series, 'A Sorority Mom's Guide to Rush.'
At big Southern schools such as the University of Alabama, Auburn, Ole Miss, Tennessee, Clemson, the University of Georgia and many Texas campuses, recruitment is treated like an Olympic sport, with 2,000 to 3,000 young women vying for a few spots at each house. The most competitive hopefuls don't just show up in August; they prep a full year in advance, usually at the start of their senior year of high school. Instagram grids get curated; some students get up to 30 letters of recommendations; hours are spent scripting and rehearsing for video applications. And families are paying for round-the-clock access to rush coaches who know the inside politics of every house and, in some cases, get word of a bid before the student herself.
Although this industry isn't exactly new, it has been supercharged by escalating competition, with hopefuls shelling out thousands of dollars to get an edge. Coaches are now a more visible part of the rush machine by working to guide and reassure young women through one of the most high-stakes weeks of their college lives.
Here's what they told The Post about how sorority recruitment has changed and what their jobs are really like.
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Northern girls are heading South for college and sorority life
Rush coaches say they're seeing a surge of clients from the Northeast, especially New York, Maine and Connecticut, choosing to attend Southern schools specifically to be involved in Greek life.
Lorie Stefanelli, a New York City-based coach who runs Greek Chic, recently hosted a panel for about 30 girls and their moms. 'Every single one of them were going to school in the South,' she said. The draw? 'They want the big SEC [Southeastern Conference], college football, Southern experience. TikTok plays it up and makes it look so fun. The girls are pretty, they're put together, and I think kids lean into that.' Her coaching packages range from $1,500 to $3,000.
Leighton Newberry, founder of Recruitment Ready, says her client base is still strongest in Texas, Nashville, Charlotte and California but she opened a New York branch last year to meet demand. 'Families up North want to learn Southern etiquette and the style around it,' she said. Her services range from free online resources to private coaching packages costing up to $4,000. This year she worked with 300 clients.
Consultants also note that Southern schools are luring Northern students with high scholarship offers and a warmer climate.
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Rush prep starts long before move-in day
For many hopefuls, the work begins years before they set foot on campus. Stacia Damron, founder of Hiking in Heels, and her team won't take more than 500 clients a year, and Damron says families try to sign up far in advance. 'We have people try to sign up as early as sixth grade,' she said. 'You do not need to sign up as early as sixth grade.'
Damron works mostly with high school seniors, plus some college freshmen and sophomores. 'You can't just show up, look cute, and have good conversations. That's not how recruitment works. … They hear people say, 'Oh, just be yourself, trust the process, get your cute outfits ready.' That won't get you a bid. The most successful people start preparing six months to a year in advance.'
Her offerings range from a $3,975-to-$6,000 one-on-one coaching program to a $349 online course titled '60 Days to Sisterhood,' which includes hours of coaching and 50 templates for everything from thank-you notes to conversation starters. She also advises parents and family members about how to handle contact with a sorority member or affiliate 'fishing' for information about a candidate.
Newberry begins working with high school juniors but also offers a mentoring and etiquette program for girls as early as their freshman year. 'Moms want their daughters to feel polished and confident,' she said.
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Instagram is part of the rush résumé
Rush coaches say their clients are more aware than ever that what they post can affect their chances, and they've noticed many are posting less to protect their image. But coaches warn that going quiet is a mistake and to get noticed, you have to post often and with purpose.
Damron shows clients exactly whom to follow. 'I walk them through who's building the bid list and making the decisions in the back room during recruitment,' she said. 'A cute Instagram profile is not going to help you if the right people aren't looking at it. There's so much you can do algorithmically and strategically to get in front of the right people.' Following these decision-makers also helps clients research engaging talking points during rush.
She tells clients to share moments that show dedication, personality and a sense of sisterhood such as photos from charity work, winning a sports championship or planning a friend's birthday party. As for no-nos? Alcohol, 'revealing' swimsuit photos and too many individual shots.
Stefanelli encourages her clients to post consistently throughout their senior year of high school and into the summer. 'The girls in the sororities want to see if a potential new member is a cool, fun girl to hang out with,' she said. 'They want to see her interacting with friends, doing homecoming, prom pictures, graduation, Mother's Day brunch, whatever.'
But in the weeks before recruitment, Stefanelli is strict about what not to post. She bans her clients from posting any RushTok-style content. 'The last thing the girls in the sororities want are clout chasers,' she said.
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Rush week is a mental marathon
Coaches are typically on-call for their clients at all hours during rush. They have to know each school's ever-changing rules (for instance, Southern Methodist University is allowing the women to carry rush essentials such as notebooks and deodorant only in Ziploc bags this year) and prep girls for each round.
Leslie Cunningham, owner of Sorority Prep, says for some girls, not getting the exact outcome they pictured can feel crushing. 'I think we deal with a lot of girls who unfortunately have baggage they're bringing into their college experience, and I wanted a way for them to process that in a healthy way,' she said. This year, she partnered with three mental health counselors to run 'intensive workshops' for clients and their moms, covering tools and strategies to handle rejection. 'This is really a life skill,' she said.
Stefanelli, the New York-based consultant, travels to Tuscaloosa every year for the University of Alabama's recruitment. This year she's working with 10 girls there, meeting her all-inclusive clients at an off-campus cafe to debrief after each round. 'I always like to focus on the positive things of each house,' she said. 'It's so much more than cute outfits, chants and the pretty house. I want them to really see the sorority for who it is beyond the aesthetics.'
That's important, as Hines, the woman who rushed in 2020 with the help of a coach, learned. She didn't love her sisterhood experience and dropped her sorority going into her senior year.
'Part of that did have to do with the fact that it was covid,' Hines said. 'You don't get to meet the girls in person as often. Everything was scheduled and then you kind of just have to show up to an event alone and try to make a friend there, which can be really intimidating. Now I don't mind it as much. Back then, it was horrifying.'
She said she has no regrets about rushing and hiring a coach was worth it for her, but she admits it's not for everyone. 'I probably needed a therapist but a rush consultant was cheaper,' Hines said.
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Video: Sorority rush season has become so competitive that some young women spend thousands on coaches to perfect applications, curate social media and style outfits. According to the consultants The Post spoke to, the amount of prepping takes several months.(c) 2025 , The Washington Post
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