It all boils down to dad-ication
PETALING JAYA: From triathlete trainers to content creators, some modern fathers are challenging norms and showing that being a great dad isn't just about the paycheck – it's about showing up.
For Sean Long, the best reward is being able to see his children do well in life.
The 61-year-old from Kuala Lumpur took the road less taken by being the primary caregiver to his now 19-year-old non-identical triplets Matthew, Nicholas and Kelly, who are also triathletes.
'I have worked as a realtor and also for major corporations in the tech industry while my wife is an auditor at a big international firm. It has been more than 12 years since I have held a traditional job.
'Frankly, I think the term 'stay-at-home dad' is inaccurate because in the last decade or so, more men have been taking on jobs in the gig industry or jobs with flexible work hours to support their children.
'As the primary caregiver, I cover the weekdays while my wife does the weekends. Since my children are triathletes, a lot of their needs revolve around running classes and such.
'I am glad I undertook this role because being present during all those moments matters. This is part of the rewards of parenthood which many parents may not be able to experience,' he said.
Fathers Day will be celebrated tomorrow.
Not all heroes wear capes: Mohamed Salahuddin takes care of son Tashrif while working as a music video director.
In terms of the challenges of being a primary caregiver, Long said some of the toughest aspects include the disconnection from the conventional career path and witnessing peers climb the corporate ladder.
However, he noted that as long as the parent is happy to be a primary caregiver, such thoughts should not matter.
Mohamed Salahuddin, 42, from Klang, starts his day at 5am with six children in tow.
It has been 13 years since he decided to be the stay-at-home parent while his wife works as a human resources executive.
'I still work as a content creator, like TikTok and video production, but I am the one who wakes the kids and sends them to school. I also send my wife to work, then I continue to care for our youngest child, who is seven months old.
'I manage my work by setting up appointments at night, and handling the kids and housework during the day.
'There is a stereotype tied to being 'Mr Mama' as we are often considered to be unsuccessful, unemployed or lazy, but the truth is that handling the household is a never-ending job.
'We don't have a support system and don't really get to share our experience with others, which can lead to suppressed emotions or even depression,' he said in an interview.
Picture perfect: Sah with wife Sher, son Charlie and daughter Arabella.
For freelancer Sah Henn-Wei, 41, from Subang Jaya, choosing to become a primary caregiver was a way to help his financial planner wife, who was having trouble caring for their daughter due to post-partum depression in 2016.
'Then, my son came along and the load just doubled. I decided to leave my full-time job as an art director at an agency as the working hours were not flexible.
'It wasn't a hard decision to make as my own father was a teacher and my main caregiver as a child,' he said, adding that his gifted daughter also requires more attention so having flexible hours is a bonus.
Sah wakes up at 5.30am, gets the kids ready for school and does the house chores while they are away.
He then gets some of his work done, prepares lunch and dinner, and then puts the kids to bed.
Asked about challenges, he points to not having many friends to talk to and making sure the household runs smoothly.
'Having to put my career aside to do this has made me doubt my choices many times, especially when I see my friends become heads of companies and jet setting around the world. Yes, the adage that 'comparison is the thief of joy' rings true.
'But being able to be home and be there for your kids while they are growing up has been the best feeling ever. I wouldn't trade it for the world,' he added.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Free Malaysia Today
06-08-2025
- Free Malaysia Today
She may be 95, but Pony's still got a spring in her step
Una Tan-Kinlock was nicknamed Pony by her husband Richard Dick Kinlock. (Adrian David pic) PETALING JAYA : At 95, Una Tan-Kinlock can put many who are half her age to shame with her vitality and vigour. A firm believer that health is wealth, Una – who goes by the nickname Pony – is also an avid golfer, line-dancer, swimmer, fitness guru and bridge player. She said she is likely the oldest living member of the Royal Selangor Club in Kuala Lumpur. 'I've probably not only outlived many of my friends but enemies, as well,' she quipped. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle has gifted the retired English teacher with a strong mental, physical and spiritual outlook. She said much of her good health had to do with her upbringing at home and at school at Convent Seremban, where she was educated, and later returned to teach until her retirement. 'While my father Tan Chin Beng was a strict disciplinarian, the teaching nuns – one of whom named me Una – were equal drill-masters as they groomed me to a successful life,' she said. (L-R) Goh Lay Poh, Teo Bee Heong, Wong Siew Hoon and Una Tan-Kinlock at the 'Malayan Teachers' Training College (MTTC) Kirkby 2025' reunion recently. (Adrian David pic) As a student, she was active in sports, representing Negeri Sembilan in a number of events. 'I continued an active lifestyle after retirement, and have kept myself occupied till today. My only complaint is my friends preferring to play only nine holes at the Seremban International Golf Club,' said Una, who at one time held a 16-handicap for international competitions. She has even played at the Royal and Ancient Golf Club at St Andrews, Scotland. In 1953, Una was selected to train at the Malayan Teachers' Training College (MTTC) Kirkby in Liverpool, England. 'Life in England for two years was enriching. It exposed me to a lot of wonderful things and broadened my outlook, which I cherish till today. (L-R) Chong Hong Chong, Balwant Singh and Nordin Ahmad catch up with each other at the reunion. (Adrian David pic) 'We were trained by respectful lecturers, interacted with a multicultural community, were hosted by English families on weekends at their homes and had various outdoor activities,' said Una, at a 'Kirby' reunion at the Armada Hotel in Petaling Jaya. She added that her family were originally from Burmah Road, Penang but attended Seremban Covent when her father was posted there. She later married Scottish planter Richard Dick Kinlock who died 50 years ago. The couple have a son Richard and daughter Caroline living in Britain. 'My husband was once a prisoner of war at 18, during the Japanese Occupation of Malaya,' she said, adding that he stayed back with his family and worked here after the war ended. 'It was Richard who nicknamed me Pony during a badminton game, as I was fond of tying my hair into a pony-tail, especially during sports. And that name stuck among the convent nuns, teachers and students,' said Una. Peggy Fong (left) and Emily Yap at the reunion. (Adrian David pic) Meanwhile, reunion organising committee member Chong Hong Chong, 87, from the 1957 batch, said: 'It is a real joy to get as many Kirkby alumni out of their homes and to meet their fellow multi-racial collegemates. Chong, who after retirement joined Selangor Pewter as a production manager, added: 'Apart from the annual reunion, we do meet up impromptu in smaller numbers to forge camaraderie, when the situation permits.' Kirkby first opened its doors on Nov 17, 1952 to 149 teacher trainees from Malaya to overcome the acute shortage of teachers for English-medium primary and secondary schools. 'It became known as 'Kampung Kirkby' in tribute to the 'home away from home' feeling it created over the years. 'While the pioneer batch travelled to England from Port Swettenham (Port Klang) onboard the cruise-ship SS Chusan for their 21-day journey, subsequent batches until 1962 travelled by flight,' recalled Chong. The former British-trained teachers at the 'Malayan Teachers' Training College (MTTC) Kirkby 2025' reunion recently. (Adrian David pic) Veteran journalist K Nadarajah, 83, from the 1958 batch taught for six years before working for The New Straits Times, The Star, Hong Kong Standard and Far Eastern Economic Review. Cheong Loo Kong, 83, from the 1960 batch, taught for five years and then became a trainer with the Matsushita electronics factory in Shah Alam and later with the National Productivity Centre. VL Kandan, of the 1955 batch, recalled how then chief minister Tunku Abdul Rahman had on Feb 7, 1956 made the first-ever public announcement at Kirkby Hall that Malaya was to achieve independence. Kandan later served as the Malaysian Intellectual Property Association's founder president and became a senior legal partner with Shearn Delamore.
New Straits Times
31-07-2025
- New Straits Times
#SHOWBIZ: Bonda Rozita lists luxurious 2-storey house for RM10 million
KUALA LUMPUR: Entrepreneur Rozita Ibrahim, affectionately known as Bonda Rozita, is putting her luxurious two-storey mansion in Sungai Buloh on the market for a whopping RM10 million. In a recent TikTok post, Rozita, 58, shared that the decision to sell the property stems from her recent move to a new residence in Genting Highlands. "I'm now living in a forest home and no longer wish to stay in the city," she said. "This house is huge, with a built-up area of nearly 20,000 sq ft (1,858 sq m)." The lavish bungalow, located in Sunway Rahman Putra, boasts nine bedrooms, seven bathrooms, four spacious living areas, a private swimming pool, a prayer hall (surau), a gymnasium, a walk-in wardrobe, and a yard featuring two fish ponds. Rozita, who is the mother of entrepreneur and singer Datuk Seri Aliff Syukri, also offered glimpses of the home's serene and expansive environment, highlighting its suitability for buyers seeking comfort and privacy. She added that interested parties can deal with her directly, bypassing the need for agents. "If you're interested, contact me directly. No need for a middleman," she stated.
The Star
26-07-2025
- The Star
Do you own a BAB? Big bags, big vibes, and even bigger fashion statement
If your bag isn't big enough to fit a book, a fan, and your entire day, is it even a BAB? Photo: Instagram/Anna Barger Anna Barger was walking down the streets of Paris this spring with the necessities of her day stuffed into an oversize bag when inspiration struck. 'All a girl really needs on a solo day in a city is a trusty BAB,' she says in a TikTok video. From that point on, BAB, an acronym for 'Big A** Bag', has become a staple of Barger's wardrobe and vocabulary. The 26-year-old content creator is one of many women on social media who are lugging large totes and purses over their shoulders this summer, in what appears to be an emerging trend. 'It feels like girlhood because we've all carried a big bag with a bunch of stuff in it, ' Barger said in an interview, later adding, 'We've all had that moment.' Read more: Still obsessed with Labubu? Sorry, fashion did the bag charm trend first In the television show Succession , the character Tom Wambsgans ridiculed the concept, calling a Burberry tote a 'ludicrously capacious bag'. But the proponents of the current trend rave about the functionality of a BAB, and how they fill it with all the items one may need on a lengthy outing, including – but not limited to – multiple shades of lip gloss, hand sanitiser, a miniature fan, a Kindle, a magazine, books, a computer, an iPad, a camera and Pilates socks. 'A girl with a BAB is a specific vibe,' Barger said. 'She's ready for the entire day.' Macy Hyman, a 24-year-old content creator in Boston, said the accessory was particularly helpful for people living in cities, because it could eliminate the need to return home between activities. 'I will leave super early in the morning and pack up my huge bag with me, with everything I'll possibly need, and just take it for the day,' Hyman said. A BAB can come in all shapes and sizes, and has no required designer pedigree. While Barger's latest BAB is a Miu Miu, the first tote she showcased came from Anthropologie. Others picked theirs up from flea markets and retail stores (several social media users said cross-body functionality, however, gave it bonus points). The ultimate BAB, of course, was the original Birkin from Hermes, which recently sold at auction for US$10mil (approximately RM42.3mil). That bag, a prototype for what has become among the most coveted accessories in fashion, was crafted for actress Jane Birkin so that she could hold all her essentials – diapers, cigarettes, notebooks and more – without spilling them. Maria Ochoa, a 19-year-old fashion student in New York City, said she was not aware that BAB was an 'actual' term that had been going around, because her penchant for carrying a large bag had already been a long-running joke among her and her friends. Read more: Jane Birkin's original Hermes bag sold for over RM42mil in an intense auction But she said she had seen its popularity grow over the past year. 'I think it's a really 'it' accessory right now,' Ochoa said. She carries everything she could need in her BAB, she said, including beauty products, a film camera and crystals 'for the good vibes'. – ©2025 The New York Times Company This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
