Respect Others As You Would Have Them Respect You

Forbes

03-05-2025

'Treat the team and the staff with respect.'
That's the number one rule that Mike Vrabel, newly installed head coach of the New England Patriots, has established. Vrabel, a former Patriot and head coach of the Tennessee Titans, understands that respect is essential to creating a culture of belonging.
'The training staff, the equipment staff, the kitchen staff. ... They are here to help you do your job,' Vrabel said. 'They aren't here to be your valet, to be your housekeeper, to be your maid, to be your butler. We're going to treat these people with the utmost respect.'
Vrabel, according to reporting by Nick O'Malley of MassLive.com, will tolerate a degree of push-back from players –even angry words – directed at himself. As a former player, Vrabel understands that aspect of coaching goes with the job. Criticizing a superior is one thing; mistreating a 'subordinate' – when you, as a player, hold a position of privilege -- is unacceptable.
Vrabel's approach to staff echoes what I have heard senior leaders talk about when discussing hiring job candidates. They may ask their administrative staff their opinions of how a candidate treated them. They also watch how a candidate interacts with wait staff at dinner. Condescension or rudeness toward those perceived to be 'below' the status of the candidate are signs that the individual is self-aggrandizing and may not be a suitable team player.
The other aspect that Vrabel emphasizes is respect for the team. Creating buy-in for organizational goals is one way to create unity. Team cohesion is fundamental to success. When individuals feel they belong, they will do their best, sometimes going beyond the job description to help fellow employee do their jobs better. This effort can be a form of on-the-job teaching or longer-term peer-to-peer mentoring.
The same human emotions shape respect in the working world. It becomes the leader's job to make everyone feel welcome, with the understanding that if you contribute, you will be recognized and rewarded. The dignity of work is an essential component of respect.
Respect means treating colleagues as contributors. Listen to them as you would like to be listened to. Understand their fears, and you would like them to understand yours. Find joy in working together.
Respect is rooted in truth. Speak with candor. Provide constructive feedback. Respect the intelligence of others. Address divisive issues head-on. Sugarcoating problems are a sign of disrespect. It means you think others lack the intelligence or the resilience to deal with challenging problems. Disrespect is corrosive. It gives rise to suspicion, a place where we second-guess others, thinking they are playing one-upmanship on us. Once a team sinks into that kind of paranoia, it cannot cohere. It pulls apart, giving rise to backbiting and even contempt.
When members of a team respect each other, they build a sense of community.
Respect is fundamental to community. People believe in the same cause and are willing to play their role to help everyone succeed.