Holy arbitration, Fatman! Starmer's superhero alter-ego is revealed
'Holy arbitration, Fatman!'
The caped headmaster was up for his last PMQs of the summer term, putting on his 'be sensible' scowl, handing out prizes for the best crawl or suck-up.
Jacob Collier, resembling one of those cherubic middle-aged men who lie their way back into school, said Keir was handsome and clever, and 'I welcome Labour's warm home discount'. Indeed, replied the Holborn Porker, 'I met his constituent Nicola in her kitchen who told me how hard she's working to support her family.' She also asked: 'How did you get into my kitchen?' and 'Could you please leave?'
The public is so anti-politics now that the only way to conduct a focus group is to secrete a minister into a voter's house and surprise them when they come down to breakfast. 'Before you call the police: how would you rate the economy, out of 10?'
The polls don't bode well. One puts Labour neck-and-neck with a Corbyn-led party that hasn't been named or formed and we're not sure Corbyn actually wants to lead. This is the equivalent of drawing even with 'TBC' – although the Tories do little better and the Lib Dems are an asterisk. In a display of their utter lack of definition, Ed Davey first asked about anti-Semitism, then accused Israel of war crimes. He wants to have his babka and libel it.
Kemi Badenoch offered Labour an end-of-term 'scorecard': higher taxes, rising unemployment, growing inflation. The PM dug deep into his repository of wit: '14 years... £22bn black 'ole... she comes here every week and she just talks the country down.' Kemi slapped back, 'I'm talking him down!' and demanded to know if taxes would rise. Starmer wouldn't say yes or no, which means yes. Sitting to one side, Angela Rayner thought: 'I want your job.' To the other, Rachel Reeves thought: 'Would someone please take my job?'
Tory Graham Stuart described the Labour manifesto as 'beautifully written, deeply moving, and, like that other great blockbuster... The Salt Path, a total pack of lies.' Can the PM recommend 'a summer recess read?' Keir, who seems to have skimmed Animal Farm and assumed it was a utopia, pointed a finger at the vacant Tory benches and said the Opposition was 'already on its summer recess!'
One suspects they are busy consulting their lawyers. Given the scale of the Afghanistan mess, it's staggering that only Davey asked about it, Starmer limiting himself to a brief swipe at 'Conservative management of this policy' that lacked feeling. Why is the Commons so complacent? Because the Tories don't want to fuss about an error they oversaw, and because politicians of all stripes love war and love immigration. This scandal ticks both boxes.
No wonder Reform is the only option polling well, the anti-everything, smash-the-system vote, the party of clicks and giggles. Gregg Wallace for equalities minister? Only a matter of time.
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Spectator
14 minutes ago
- Spectator
Labour must confront the uncomfortable causes of immigration protests
That sound you hear is the penny finally dropping in Downing Street. Having spent the year since the horrific post-Southport riots blaming unrest over migration and asylum solely on misinformation and far-right groups, Labour appears to be realising the rot runs much deeper. Government officials, reports the Times, have warned the cabinet that Britain is 'fraying at the edges', after more protests outside of asylum hotels in Epping, Diss and now Canary Wharf (of all places). Angela Rayner is said to have told colleagues that immigration was having a 'profound impact on society', insisting the government needed to acknowledge 'real concerns' about rapid social change, twinned with a decaying economy. Indeed, the way Tory and now Labour governments have up to now dealt with the asylum issue would only make sense if it were designed to generate social conflict. The brunt of the small-boats crisis has been borne by some of the most poverty-stricken communities in the UK, purely because the hotel rooms there are cheaper and the glare of the London-based media is miles away. Then, locals' fears about the violent and sexual crimes committed by some of the men who have arrived illegally and unvetted are ignored, up until the point they spark a protest. Or worse. We've seen this time and time again. In Knowsley, in Merseyside, in February 2023; in Epping, now. A migrant is accused, or indeed charged, of sex crimes, leading to a protest, which then descends into mindless violence. In the case of Epping, the Ethiopian asylum seeker – whose arrest triggered last week's protests outside the Bell Hotel – was charged with three counts of sexual assault, one count of inciting a girl to engage in sexual activity and one count of harassment without violence. He'd racked up these offences after just eight days in the country. The protests in Epping – a leafy, prosperous Essex market town, populated by the old East End working-class-done-good – show this is clearly not just about poverty, either. There is now a deep sense of unease bubbling across society, about an asylum and migration system that has become an affront to common sense and a menace to public safety. And those who haven't imbibed the metropolitan multiculturalist script, which insists we all ignore the evidence of our own eyes, are now increasingly emboldened to voice their opposition. For a year, the government has refused to walk and chew gum at the same time on this issue. There is, of course, nothing that justifies the violence and racism we saw after Southport, or following otherwise peaceful protests since. Those on the right who cannot summon the minerals to condemn this bigotry, even when masked men are trying to push a flaming wheelie bin towards a Holiday Inn which has migrants inside, are engaging in their own form of moral cowardice. But only condemning this racism, or painting it all as some concerted 'far right' insurgency, as the government has, is clearly not enough, either. Whatever else you might say about them, the peaceful protests outside of that hotel in Epping are clearly not mini BNP rallies. Even the mainstream media have begun to concede this, with Sky News noting that Sunday's big demonstration was made up of 'families sat on the grass, multigenerations of them, kids playing in the sunshine'. 'Residents are simply angry about events that have unfolded here in recent weeks.' In voxpops from the demos and the town, residents seem ever-keen to insist they are not 'far right' and condemn the troublemakers who have also, inevitably, shown up looking to clash with police, attack hotel staff and abuse migrants in the street. By ignoring legitimate public anger, and the catastrophic policy failures that have produced it, the government has only created more space for those who want to leap on the asylum issue for their own despicable ends. The Labour government now has a choice. It can double down on decades of failed orthodoxies, while mumbling something about 'reasonable concerns', or it can rip them up those orthodoxies for the good of the country. Locking up rioters and condemning the uglier side of this unrest is the easy bit. Now is the time to end the mix of uncontrolled illegal immigration, govenment-compelled multiculturalism and official neglect of communities that has brought us to this precipice. Tough on riots, tough on the causes of riots.
The Independent
14 minutes ago
- The Independent
How social media is helping the far-right spread fear and hate
At around 5.30pm on 7 July, Essex Police officers were called to the High Street in Epping after receiving reports that a man was behaving inappropriately towards a teenage girl. Hadush Kebatu, 38, an asylum seeker from Ethiopia, allegedly tried to kiss a schoolgirl as she ate pizza and he has since been charged with three counts of sexual assault. But news that he had only arrived in the UK eight days earlier via a small boat quickly took hold on social media, sparking a series of protests that turned violent and thrusting the historic Essex town into the heart of an anti-immigration row. What started as a group of locals voicing their grievances outside the Bell Hotel, which is believed to house asylum seekers, has now escalated into what has been described as a 'powder keg situation', with fears it could prompt a wave of riots across the country, similar to those seen last summer. In the past two weeks, prominent leaders in neo-Nazi groups and far-right organisations have been accused of exploiting the situation by pivoting demonstrations towards violence, with some demanding a 'national call for action'. Their weapon of choice? Social media, which the far-right have long been known to harness as a tool to spread fear and hate. Several right-wing activists have rebranded themselves as citizen journalists or political commentators, helping them accrue millions of followers in the UK and across the globe. Joe Mulhall, of the charity Hope Not Hate, said that is dangerous at a time when misinformation online spreads quickly and can whip up tensions. 'It's deeply concerning that a rumour or allegation can spread so quickly and take hold. Last year in Southport, misinformation from influencers like Andrew Tate spread like wildfire about the ethnicity and nationality of the perpetrator of the awful murders. 'When misinformation spreads, it can legitimise existing biases and as a rumour or allegation takes hold, things can quickly move offline.' Among those who have set up the private Facebook page Epping Says No, which advertises the protests, are three members of the group Homeland. Founded in 2023 after splitting from neo-Nazi group Patriotic Alternative, it has been described as the largest fascist group in the UK. This week, one of its prominent members has shared several videos of the protests on social media, and has called for future action, urging: 'If you live in an area that has a hotel occupied by asylum seekers, start organising.' Members of other groups, including former neo-Nazi terror group Combat 18, the British National Party and the Patriots of Britain, have also been spotted at the demonstrations. Mr Mullhall warned that with over-worked and over-stretched police forces, racist and anti-immigration rhetoric online can often fall under the radar. He said the UK 'needs to be ahead of the curve' to clamp down on this activity. 'Tracking these comments and the individuals responsible is tricky,' he said. 'The far-right are no longer divided into neat groupings but are instead thousands of people posting videos outside migrant accommodation, posting rumours and making comments online. 'Gone are the days when the police or social media companies can simply deplatform a particular group to resolve this issue.' Since Elon Musk 's takeover of X, formerly known as Twitter, the platform has changed significantly, with the Tesla founder reportedly tweaking its algorithms and removing its fact-checking mechanisms. This included turning the platform into a pro-Maga Trump echo chamber in the run-up to last year's US presidential elections, and reinstating previously banned figures such as Tommy Robinson and Katie Hopkinson. For Hope Not Hate, it has become a visible and concerning trend to see US figures commenting on UK politics and societal issues, boosting far-right voices, such as those of anti-Islam activist Robinson, who has hinted he will be in attendance at an Epping protest on Sunday. Mr Mullhall said: "The far right has changed dramatically and ironically, knows no borders. What we're seeing now is key figures emerging online. We're no longer looking at organisations but key people who emerge during a time of crisis. 'The far right is international, they move around and they move in pacts and trying to find any weakness. They have no formal leader; there's no single leader, it's like they're a group of fish that move around the internet exploiting situations. 'It is no surprise that we've seen a rise in far-right activity in the UK, US and Europe – these groups and ideas are interconnected.' Dr Karen Middleton, from the University of Portsmouth, who has been an expert witness in the UK government's inquiry into social media, misinformation, and harmful algorithms, said the recent protests in Epping were 'in many ways, a continuation of the riots from last year'. She said: 'Sensationalist and polarising content gathers more clicks, gathers more engagement, so there is a systemic incentive for spreading misinformation online.' She urged large social media platforms to go much further in addressing the spread of misinformation, but warned this was not about limiting free speech. 'This is about taking responsibility for published information that is online that goes to a large number of people, and is very often spread by people with high profiles,' she said. A spokesperson for the National Police Chiefs Council (NPSCC) said communities had a part to play in halting the spread of misinformation and urged people to 'carefully consider' what they read, share, and trust online to avoid stoking tensions. 'We would encourage the public to access formal authorities for accurate information. The spread of disinformation and misinformation by individuals or groups can significantly contribute to community tensions and has real-world implications. We all have a responsibility in this respect, and relevant criminal law applies to online actions,' they added. They also called on social media companies to be vigilant to the spread of false information and to 'ensure harmful content is detected, challenged and removed in a timely manner'.
The Independent
14 minutes ago
- The Independent
Jeremy Corbyn ‘getting 500 people a minute' wanting to join his new political party
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