I've slept with 400 men to show them how to make love… parents have brought their sons to my £250-an-hour sessions
LYING in the arms of the man I'd just had fantastic sex with, I smiled with satisfaction.
Somewhere out there was the next woman he'd sleep with, and she'd never know that, thanks to me, he'd been transformed from a clueless virgin into a skilled lover.
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2
Intimacy expert Kaly Miller has been a sex surrogate for 15 years
Credit: Lorna Roach
2
Kaly's role is similar to that of Joy's on Channel 4 show, Virgin Island
But I wasn't in a relationship with this man – I was his sex therapist and surrogate.
Over three months, we'd progressed from him starting to get comfortable with physical intimacy, such as hand-holding, hugging and stroking, to more sexual touching.
And finally, we'd had sexual intercourse.
Advertisement
I've been a sex surrogate for 15 years, and during my career I've supported women with a fear of intimacy, helped a Hollywood actor overcome his sex addiction, and guided couples on how to safely have an open relationship.
I don't keep count of the number of clients I've slept with, but it's between 300 and 400.
Growing up in São Paulo, Brazil, if you'd told me that one day I'd be teaching people how to enjoy sex, I would never have believed it.
As a young woman, I was comfortable with my sexuality, but never questioned what I wanted or needed sexually.
I moved to London for university at 21, then married a few years later and had four children.
Advertisement
Running a successful events company with my husband, I enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle.
But working 18-hour days soon burned me out, and I just wasn't happy.
When I was 35, I ended my marriage, leaving my husband and the company, while I moved into a one-bedroom council flat with our children.
I'm a sex coach, women always ask what to do if their man won't talk about sex and it's NEVER a good sign
I went on to qualify as a masseuse, working with athletes and actors.
I enjoyed my job, but wasn't earning enough to give my children the life I wanted for them.
Advertisement
So, in 2013, I invested £3,000 in a surrogate partner therapy course, after seeing an ad in a local paper.
I thought it sounded like a great opportunity to further my massage skills, but on the first day, I was shocked to learn I'd be expected to have sex with clients.
I thought about quitting, but decided – with trepidation – to continue with the course because I'd paid so much money for it.
I'd studied tantric sex in my spare time, so I was more comfortable with my sexuality than ever, but I didn't know if I'd actually be able to go through with sleeping with someone.
Three months later, I met my first client, a single man in his 60s who was a virgin.
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My initial thought was: 'I can't do this, he's the same age as my dad!'
But when I asked him why he'd come to the session, his response changed everything.
He explained that his brother had passed away recently, and he realised he didn't want to die without knowing what love felt like.
Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and body dysmorphia
Kaly Miller
It helped me understand that there was a genuine need for sex surrogates and there was nothing sleazy about it.
I spent a month focusing on helping this man feel comfortable with his body, and teaching him how to touch a woman, before we had sex.
Advertisement
It felt so natural, as we'd established a trusting, loving bond and it made me realise how much impact a surrogate can have.
He went on to have a relationship with someone for the first time, and was so grateful.
How is masturbation beneficial for health?
Masturbation is nothing to be embarrassed about - after all, it's physically and mentally good for you!
Just like sex, masturbation - and likely an ending of orgasm - is healthy.
Masturbation releases endorphins which boost mood and can alleviate depressive symptoms and cortisol, the stress hormone.
It can help you relax, reduce stress and help you sleep better - which has a number of health benefits in itself.
In one study, published in the Frontiers in Public Health, almost half of men and women who masturbated before bed said they either got better sleep quality, or fell asleep quicker.
Spring Cooper is a social researcher with academic qualifications in public health, health promotion, and sexuality,
"Tenting stretches the cervix, and thus the cervical mucous.
"This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out.
"Masturbation can lower risk of type-2 diabetes (though this association may also be explained by greater overall health), reduce insomnia through hormonal and tension release, and increase pelvic floor strength through the contractions that happen during orgasm."
For men, there is evidence that climaxing may help to reduce the risk of prostate cancer - "probably by giving the prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing agents," says Spring.
Though the benefits of masturbation are not the most scientifically studied, there's certainly no harm in doing it.
For the next five years, I worked under supervision – there was always a qualified sex surrogate present at all my client meetings, including during sex, and they would give me feedback and advise me if I was unsure.
Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and
Women came to overcome trauma after giving birth, learn how to orgasm and to conquer their fear of penetration.
Advertisement
I also treated people who had difficulties after physical and sexual abuse.
THE NAKED ROOM
Eventually, I set up my own clinic, The Naked Room.
My four adult children and parents know and fully support what I do.
They all came to cheer me on when I won Somatic Sexologist of the Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards in 2022.
And though some friends were initially sceptical, they soon came round.
Advertisement
Before accepting clients, I meet them on Zoom so I can find out why they want to see me and also observe their body language, in order to spot unsuitable people who think they can just turn up and have sex with me.
One time, a man was naked. I turned off my camera and told him that's not what I'm here for.
Then, once they've completed a consent form and paperwork, my prices start from £250 for a one-hour in-person session, to £1,250 for a day session of five hours.
If a client is a virgin, the ultimate aim is for us to have sex.
If they're female, I can pass them on to a trusted male sex surrogate when they're ready.
Advertisement
Every client has to provide a recent STI test and I always use condoms.
I also work with couples, although I don't touch them – I coach them on how to touch each other.
I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues
Kaly Miller
I insist on at least three sessions, because this isn't a quick process, and a maximum of 10 to make sure they don't form a romantic attachment with me.
Before meeting a client, I prepare by going to the gym or doing yoga, and I meditate on my commute.
Since I turned 50, I'm conscious I need look my best, so I see a dermatologist, and of course I regularly do kegel exercises to keep my pelvic floor muscles tight.
Advertisement
There have been many memorable moments over the years.
When one client saw my vagina – the first he'd ever seen – he was blown away.
'It's marvellous!' he said. 'I love the colour and the texture.' I was thinking: 'I've had sex for 30 years and not once has a partner admired me the way this guy has.'
Then there was the man with autism, who I helped have sex for the first time. His parents used to bring him to the sessions with me, and were so grateful.
His dad said to me: 'Thank you for making him experience life as a man outside of his challenges.'
Advertisement
Those sorts of moments are humbling and make me realise how much I'm helping people.
The 10 most-searched sex positions in the UK
The Eagle is searched for, on average, 150,730 times in the UK every month.
Eagle
69
Missionary
Cowgirl
Reverse Cowgirl
Standing
Lotus
Spooning
Doggy Style
Pretzel
My job has also helped me realise that sex can be incredibly powerful, rather than shallow or mediocre. I'm currently single, but I've had relationships since I became a sex surrogate.
I've learned to separate my professional and personal life to avoid falling into 'work mode' and educating partners on being the ideal lover.
I'm always transparent with a partner about my work and, so far, they've all been open-minded and unfazed by the fact I'll be sleeping with other men, and that I often get aroused while doing so.
I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues.
Advertisement
Everyone who wants to enjoy great sex should be able to, and I'm happy to play a part in helping them achieve that.
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The Irish Sun
10 hours ago
- The Irish Sun
I've slept with 400 men to show them how to make love… parents have brought their sons to my £250-an-hour sessions
LYING in the arms of the man I'd just had fantastic sex with, I smiled with satisfaction. Somewhere out there was the next woman he'd sleep with, and she'd never know that, thanks to me, he'd been transformed from a clueless virgin into a skilled lover. Advertisement 2 Intimacy expert Kaly Miller has been a sex surrogate for 15 years Credit: Lorna Roach 2 Kaly's role is similar to that of Joy's on Channel 4 show, Virgin Island But I wasn't in a relationship with this man – I was his sex therapist and surrogate. Over three months, we'd progressed from him starting to get comfortable with physical intimacy, such as hand-holding, hugging and stroking, to more sexual touching. And finally, we'd had sexual intercourse. Advertisement I've been a sex surrogate for 15 years, and during my career I've supported women with a fear of intimacy, helped a Hollywood actor overcome his sex addiction, and guided couples on how to safely have an open relationship. I don't keep count of the number of clients I've slept with, but it's between 300 and 400. Growing up in São Paulo, Brazil, if you'd told me that one day I'd be teaching people how to enjoy sex, I would never have believed it. As a young woman, I was comfortable with my sexuality, but never questioned what I wanted or needed sexually. I moved to London for university at 21, then married a few years later and had four children. Advertisement Running a successful events company with my husband, I enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle. But working 18-hour days soon burned me out, and I just wasn't happy. When I was 35, I ended my marriage, leaving my husband and the company, while I moved into a one-bedroom council flat with our children. I'm a sex coach, women always ask what to do if their man won't talk about sex and it's NEVER a good sign I went on to qualify as a masseuse, working with athletes and actors. I enjoyed my job, but wasn't earning enough to give my children the life I wanted for them. Advertisement So, in 2013, I invested £3,000 in a surrogate partner therapy course, after seeing an ad in a local paper. I thought it sounded like a great opportunity to further my massage skills, but on the first day, I was shocked to learn I'd be expected to have sex with clients. I thought about quitting, but decided – with trepidation – to continue with the course because I'd paid so much money for it. I'd studied tantric sex in my spare time, so I was more comfortable with my sexuality than ever, but I didn't know if I'd actually be able to go through with sleeping with someone. Three months later, I met my first client, a single man in his 60s who was a virgin. Advertisement My initial thought was: 'I can't do this, he's the same age as my dad!' But when I asked him why he'd come to the session, his response changed everything. He explained that his brother had passed away recently, and he realised he didn't want to die without knowing what love felt like. Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and body dysmorphia Kaly Miller It helped me understand that there was a genuine need for sex surrogates and there was nothing sleazy about it. I spent a month focusing on helping this man feel comfortable with his body, and teaching him how to touch a woman, before we had sex. Advertisement It felt so natural, as we'd established a trusting, loving bond and it made me realise how much impact a surrogate can have. He went on to have a relationship with someone for the first time, and was so grateful. How is masturbation beneficial for health? Masturbation is nothing to be embarrassed about - after all, it's physically and mentally good for you! Just like sex, masturbation - and likely an ending of orgasm - is healthy. Masturbation releases endorphins which boost mood and can alleviate depressive symptoms and cortisol, the stress hormone. It can help you relax, reduce stress and help you sleep better - which has a number of health benefits in itself. In one study, published in the Frontiers in Public Health, almost half of men and women who masturbated before bed said they either got better sleep quality, or fell asleep quicker. Spring Cooper is a social researcher with academic qualifications in public health, health promotion, and sexuality, "Tenting stretches the cervix, and thus the cervical mucous. "This enables fluid circulation, allowing cervical fluids full of bacteria to be flushed out. "Masturbation can lower risk of type-2 diabetes (though this association may also be explained by greater overall health), reduce insomnia through hormonal and tension release, and increase pelvic floor strength through the contractions that happen during orgasm." For men, there is evidence that climaxing may help to reduce the risk of prostate cancer - "probably by giving the prostate a chance to flush out potential cancer-causing agents," says Spring. Though the benefits of masturbation are not the most scientifically studied, there's certainly no harm in doing it. For the next five years, I worked under supervision – there was always a qualified sex surrogate present at all my client meetings, including during sex, and they would give me feedback and advise me if I was unsure. Men came to see me to overcome issues including being unable to get an erection, premature ejaculation, fear of intimacy and Women came to overcome trauma after giving birth, learn how to orgasm and to conquer their fear of penetration. Advertisement I also treated people who had difficulties after physical and sexual abuse. THE NAKED ROOM Eventually, I set up my own clinic, The Naked Room. My four adult children and parents know and fully support what I do. They all came to cheer me on when I won Somatic Sexologist of the Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards in 2022. And though some friends were initially sceptical, they soon came round. Advertisement Before accepting clients, I meet them on Zoom so I can find out why they want to see me and also observe their body language, in order to spot unsuitable people who think they can just turn up and have sex with me. One time, a man was naked. I turned off my camera and told him that's not what I'm here for. Then, once they've completed a consent form and paperwork, my prices start from £250 for a one-hour in-person session, to £1,250 for a day session of five hours. If a client is a virgin, the ultimate aim is for us to have sex. If they're female, I can pass them on to a trusted male sex surrogate when they're ready. Advertisement Every client has to provide a recent STI test and I always use condoms. I also work with couples, although I don't touch them – I coach them on how to touch each other. I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues Kaly Miller I insist on at least three sessions, because this isn't a quick process, and a maximum of 10 to make sure they don't form a romantic attachment with me. Before meeting a client, I prepare by going to the gym or doing yoga, and I meditate on my commute. Since I turned 50, I'm conscious I need look my best, so I see a dermatologist, and of course I regularly do kegel exercises to keep my pelvic floor muscles tight. Advertisement There have been many memorable moments over the years. When one client saw my vagina – the first he'd ever seen – he was blown away. 'It's marvellous!' he said. 'I love the colour and the texture.' I was thinking: 'I've had sex for 30 years and not once has a partner admired me the way this guy has.' Then there was the man with autism, who I helped have sex for the first time. His parents used to bring him to the sessions with me, and were so grateful. His dad said to me: 'Thank you for making him experience life as a man outside of his challenges.' Advertisement Those sorts of moments are humbling and make me realise how much I'm helping people. The 10 most-searched sex positions in the UK The Eagle is searched for, on average, 150,730 times in the UK every month. Eagle 69 Missionary Cowgirl Reverse Cowgirl Standing Lotus Spooning Doggy Style Pretzel My job has also helped me realise that sex can be incredibly powerful, rather than shallow or mediocre. I'm currently single, but I've had relationships since I became a sex surrogate. I've learned to separate my professional and personal life to avoid falling into 'work mode' and educating partners on being the ideal lover. I'm always transparent with a partner about my work and, so far, they've all been open-minded and unfazed by the fact I'll be sleeping with other men, and that I often get aroused while doing so. I have no intention of stopping anytime soon – I feel privileged to help people overcome their issues. Advertisement Everyone who wants to enjoy great sex should be able to, and I'm happy to play a part in helping them achieve that. Visit
The Irish Sun
21 hours ago
- The Irish Sun
Big Brother star set to be ordained a deacon after becoming a vicar – 20 years after finishing runner-up on reality show
A BIG Brother fan-favourite is set to be ordained as a deacon as he continues on the journey of a huge career change. The 2006 show star has 6 A Big Brother star is set to be ordained as a deacon as he continues his huge life change 6 Glyn Wise found fame on the reality TV show back in 2006 Credit: Channel 4 6 At a service at St Asaph Cathedral, in north Wales, on Saturday June 28 he will be formally recognised and commissioned as a deacon Credit: Twitter At a service at St Asaph Cathedral, in north Wales, on Saturday June 28 he will be formally recognised and commissioned. After the ceremony Glyn, who finished runner-up in his Big Brother experience, will be empowered by the church to serve in a ministry of service, liturgy and proclamation of God's word. The work of a deacon focusses on spreading and serving the Church in poor and marginalised communities. read more big brother Glyn's next stage of training will see him based in the Aled Mission Area around Old Colwyn and Betws yn Rhos , according to the diocese of St Asaph. He has already completed a 770km pilgrimage to the iconic Santiago de Compostela in Spain, believed to be the burial site of the apostle St James, as part of his faith journey. DIVINE INTERVENTION Glyn previously spoke out about his work at a church in Camden, London. And recently, he told how he prayed for a spot on the reality TV series which saw him rocket to fame. Most read in Reality Speaking on This Morning in 2022 about how faith has always been a huge part of his life, Glyn said: 'I grew up in a religious family and I prayed my way onto Big Brother. "I was asking God can you please just get me into Big Brother. Pete, Glyn and Victor appear on Big Brother 5 as they reunite 17 years after show 'I was 16 thinking there must be so much more to life, life is so predestined, school then university and I wanted something so different for me. 'Big Brother was what I wanted and it changed everything.' Previously, he told how h e counts Hollywood actor and co-owner Ryan Reynolds as one of the congregation at his local church in North Wales . TOUGH TRAINING After dropping out of the limelight, Glyn went on to have a normal life, heading to university two years after Big Brother before becoming a teacher. Big Brother winners from over the years Since launching in 2000, reality TV juggernaut Big Brother has crowned several champions over the years. Let's take a look back at some of them. Series 1 - Craig Phillips Series 2 - Brian Dowling Series 3 - Series 4 - Series 5 - Series 6 - Series 7 - Series 8 - Brian Belo Series 9 - Series 10 - Series 11 - Josie Gibson Series 12 - Series 13 - Series 14 - Sam Evans Series 15 - Series 16 - Series 17 - Jason Burrill Series 18 - Series 19 - Series 20 - Glyn then decided to go travelling and ended up working in Shanghai, China, where he 'got rid of the Glyn from Big Brother tag'. With Christianity growing at a massive scale across Asia, Glyn, always a Christian, embraced his faith and decided to train as a vicar once he got home in 2020. He previously opened up on what his course entailed and said: 'I'm learning theology, going into depth about the Bible and learning how to cope with people, because you're not only the vicar, you're someone to listen, you're a psychiatrist, you have to help sort people's lives out and spread the good word. 'So there's a concoction of stuff that you need to learn before you become a vicar.' Despite sporting a very different look now, Glyn says he still gets Big Brother fans coming up to him in church — and he will often weave his past into his sermons. He says: 'I've got a beard now, I've shaved my head, I'm a man not a boy, but yeah, there's conversations about Big Brother that still come up. People come to church and are like, 'I really loved you when you cooked that egg'. 'And I'm like, 'Can we talk about Jesus Christ now, the Saviour?'. 'But I feel like when you've lived a good life, you've got a lot to talk about when you're up in the pulpit doing a sermon.' 6 He will then undergo more church training in Wales Credit: Olivia West 6 Glyn, 37, decided on his career change in 2020 Credit: Olivia West 6 He previously told how he 'prayed his way' onto Big Brother Credit: Rex
The Irish Sun
a day ago
- The Irish Sun
Watch awkward moment man stops orgy with three women after getting stage fright on Open House The Great Sex Experiment
AN awkward moment on Open House saw a man stop a wild orgy with three women after getting stage fright. The Channel 4 show sees monogamous couples move into a house alongside 'sexperts' and explore having an open relationship . 3 An awkward moment on Open House saw an orgy stopped Credit: Channel 4 3 Simon look flustered as he put a stop to things Credit: Channel 4 3 He drank some water to calm his nerves Credit: Channel 4 However, one participant, Simon, struggled as he put a stop to romping with three women. He entered the retreat alongside his fiancé Chris, to explore whether they're attracted to women. While Simon looked visibly flustered, one of the women gave him a drink of water. He said: "Might just be a bit of stage fright, part of it is also... there's a lot going on. Read more on Open House "I'm just, like, processing everything at once. This is something very new for me." Viewers Amy attracted the ire of horrified fans for passionately kissing a woman in front of her hubby Claude in a hot tub. Amy had told the cameras how she previously enjoyed a polyamorous lifestyle and wanted to return to it despite hers and Claude's monogamous marriage. Most read in News TV Claude admitted he had always stuck to one partner and was struggling with the idea of seeing his wife with someone else. But despite his obvious reservations, Amy wasted no time in snogging a woman called Georgie in front of him while sitting in a steamy hot tub. Awkward moment mum-of-six 'makes a fool out of husband' on Channel 4's The Open House in bid to SAVE their marriage A fan penned: "Amy, if you end up on your own with 6 kids I'll have no sympathy." Another commented: "Amy's mocking her husband." And a third said: "I think it's unfair that Amy entered into a monogamous marriage and now wants to change the rules AND for her husband to be happy with that, when he's clearly not." Someone else remarked: "Amy just wants a way out of the relationship, making a fool of her partner." Despite Claude's reluctance to get on board with the idea, Amy told the cameras that she believed he was only closed off to polygamy because it is "not what society dictates". But another viewer blasted: "No Amy he is not holding back cos society tells him it is not normal, he is holding back cos he doesn't want to do this!" Another couple taking part, Sarah and Jonny, opened up about how Open House The Great Sex Experiment airs on Channel 4.
