Handbags at dawn: It was obvious I was not the typical Chanel customer

Irish Times

4 days ago

The most expensive handbag I've ever bought was
Chanel
. It wasn't even for me. It was a 40th birthday/thank-you-for-being-great present for my best friend, and an item she'd been coveting for as long as I've known her.
The purchase came after a brief whirlwind education in the world of Chanel. I'd set my sights initially on the classic black leather flap handbag, as I knew this was the true object of my friend's affection.
However, when I set about doing some internet searches I was swiftly put in my place. The classic flap would set me back about €8,000, plus I'd need to be on a waiting list. It truly felt like those snotty cows from the swanky shop in Pretty Woman had reached out of my ageing MacBook and swatted me around the face with a white glove for having such notions above my station.
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I was reminded of my Chanel handbag quest last week when a
Hermès
handbag, which had originally belonged to
Jane Birkin
, sold at auction for €8.6 million. The bag, carried by singer and actor Birkin for nine years, was the prototype for the now iconic and hideously expensive Birkin bag. A new Birkin bag will set you back at least €10,000, and you basically need eye of newt and gossamer fairy wings to get on the waiting list.
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At the very least, you need an impressive purchase history with Hermès before they'll even consider letting you out the door with a Birkin on your arm.
A Birkin is a good investment
though, if you can get your hands on one; because they're so difficult to obtain, they have a huge resale value.
It was to the resellers I went next on my Chanel Classic Flap search (classic flap still makes me laugh in a very juvenile way to this day). I was dealt another series of blows as I discovered that the second-hand ones cost almost as much – and sometimes more than – the new ones and were just as difficult to get one's hands on. With the birthday looming and still no Chanel, I decided to bite the bullet and go straight to the source: the Chanel counter in
Brown Thomas
.
Obviously, there were no Classic Flaps available in any size. It was also obvious that I was not the typical Chanel customer. I had attempted to look chic by wearing all black, but it was a warm day and between that and my not-so-Pretty-Woman inferiority complex, my upper lip was sweating.
I made it clear that I was there to make a purchase though, and careened around the display cabinets, dithering over the bags they had in stock and having one of those out-of-body experiences where numbers no longer have meaning. I made my purchase and was invited to take a seat slightly further inside the Chanel sanctum while they carried out the elaborate wrapping.
I purchased a Mulberry bag but it was a poor investment and I ended up selling it on eBay for a quarter of what I paid for it. Photograph: Jeff Greenberg/ Getty Images
I expected confetti cannons to go off as I exited the store. I expected a flash mob to erupt as I walked down the street, akin to that scene in Annie when the gardeners and cleaners all break into song after it's confirmed that Daddy Warbucks has secured the adoption.
It remained subdued on that front, but it was all worth it when my friend saw the Chanel box on the morning of her birthday and shed some gratifying tears. Her daughter was quick off the mark and asked, 'Can I have that when you die?'. Now there's a child who knows a thing or two about resale value.
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I decided to make a handbag investment of my own a year or two before the Chanel. It was a
Mulberry
bag, nowhere near as expensive, but still nothing to be sniffed at. I had some publishing success money burning a hole in my bank account and I imagined myself building a portfolio of carefully selected items and then maybe having them sell at auction for millions as I entered my dotage. Fair Deal who?
Unfortunately, the Mulberry was a poor investment, and I sold it on eBay this year for a quarter of what I paid for it. However, I did learn a few things during my brief luxury handbag career.
I learned that I cannot be trusted with any significant amount of money at my disposal. I learned that if you buy a friend a coveted luxury item, she might never use it for fear of something happening to it or, in her own words, 'someone looking at it wrong'. I learned that even if you drop thousands on a Chanel handbag, the Brown Thomas points you earned can still expire. Big mistake. Huge.