'Unnecessary pressure and shame': Sex expert on Virgin Island's "biggest flaw" and what the show gets right

Cosmopolitan

19-05-2025

Virgin Island resumes on Channel 4 this evening (Monday 19th May), with 12 adult virgins continuing their journey to learn all there is to know about intimacy.
The new series kicked off last week, and was met with mixed reviews. Some viewers called the show "excruciating", "awkward" and "creepy", which the experts have since responded to, with Dr Danielle Harel telling Cosmopolitan UK: "I just feel like people are not used to seeing intimacy in front of them."
Others commended the show, with writer Jamie Windust feeling that we could all "benefit" from an experience like the one offered in Virgin Island.
We spoke to sex expert Jaimee Bell, who feels that while the show encourages "open and honest" conversations around intimacy, it has major "flaws".
Speaking exclusively to Cosmopolitan UK, Bell, who is the Editorial Director at audio erotica platform BLOOM, explained: "There's no doubt it's a show that has been purposefully designed to divide opinion. The result? It's got us all hiding our blushes and talking about sex.
"Open, honest conversations about sex and intimacy are desperately needed in a culture where online dating, social media and porn are dramatically changing our approach to relationships. But the show has its flaws. I've been watching with a critical eye and there are some elements of its bold approach that push boundaries in less helpful ways."
So, what exactly does the show get right? And, what does it get wrong?
Read on for everything you need to know.
Bell isn't a fan of the show's name, saying: "For me, the show's biggest flaw is in its name. Virgin. It's a loaded label and one that can produce a huge amount of unnecessary pressure and shame. We see this ringing true for some of the show's participants, many of whom have felt self-conscious about their sexual status and feel that losing their virginity is a 'goal' they urgently need to achieve.
"The reality is, we all experience sexual intimacy in different ways, at different times. The way the show's narrator refers to 'the virgins' does more harm than good. If we're going to encourage open, honest conversations about sex, it's time to broaden our vocabulary. Intimacy Island has a nice ring to it."
Following the launch, thousands of fans ran to social media and expressed their outrage at the show. Bell feels that the topic has been "sensationalised" and Virgin Island could do with an update.
"There is obviously a certain shock factor in a show that sends a group of self-proclaimed 'virgins' to an island. To an extent, the concept feels stuck in the early 2000s. Shows about sex and intimacy shouldn't have to be sensationalised," she explained.
"Instead, the show needs to catch up with where we are today and bring us a less crude exploration of intimacy. We can help people to strengthen their relationship with intimacy in many ways, without forcing them through a crash course to pop their proverbial cherry."
While Bell isn't a fan of the overall concept, she commends Virgin Island for boldly bringing the subject of intimacy into the spotlight.
"So many of us - whether we've been intimate with someone or not - struggle with different aspects of sex. But it's often not something we feel able to talk about. This lingering taboo is killing our sex lives. We need to start feeling comfortable having uncomfortable conversations about sex, which is one thing Virgin Island certainly encourages us to do," she said.
Bell thinks the show could help viewers just as much as the contestants taking part.
"The show encourages us to let go of shame and acknowledge our own fears and insecurities around sex," she said. "Despite some of its controversial tactics, the show's central message of destigmatising sexual desire is one I can definitely get behind. Being able to vocalise our desires, as well as any fears we may have around intimacy, can be hugely empowering. It can help us build stronger connections and ultimately improves our sexual relationships."
When it comes to their reasons for feeling insecure about sex and intimacy, most of the Virgin Island contestants mentioned social media and porn as major influences that shaped unrealistic expectations and fuelled self-doubt.
"[Virgin Island] highlights the societal pressures impacting the way we experience sex and intimacy in the modern world. From social media and dating apps, to romcoms and porn, so much of modern life compounds existing pressures around sex," Bell said.
"These can impact our intimate relationships in ways we're often not even aware of. Being conscious of this and feeling able to speak with our trusted friends or partners about these pressures is important. It can have a big impact on both our sexual and mental wellbeing."
Virgin Island airs on Channel 4 on Mondays and Tuesday.
Visit https://www.bloomstories.com/ for more on audio erotica.