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Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Women Who've Rejected Marriage Proposals Are Sharing Exactly Why They Said No, And Honestly, Thank Goodness They Did
Reddit user rosieposiepoo333 recently asked, "Women who have turned down proposals, how did you do it?" We also asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to chime in with their stories. Here's what they shared: 1."I broke up with my ex on the day we were supposed to go ring shopping. He tearfully told me how he had inherited enough money from his great aunt to buy the ring of my dreams, and I told him it didn't matter because our relationship wasn't meant to be. It was not an actual proposal, but the closest I got to marriage before I met my now-husband." —question_girl617 2."It wasn't pleasant. I walked him further down the beach and explained why the proposal failed. They were things we agreed upon, or so I thought. We wanted and agreed on a private moment, but he invited everybody. We wanted something very quiet, but he had a whole band playing and photographers. I wanted a simple, low-key necklace, maybe something simple with moonstone, mother of pearl, or opal, which he seemed excited about. But he gave me a very expensive amber chunky ring with a dead bug in it. Only our entomology friend liked the ring; everyone else was very confused or grossed out." "Then I asked him to try again. He took it well until he saw our friends. Then he sobbed loudly and complained to everybody about how I rejected him. We were engaged for like eight years. He never tried again, by the way." —Not-A-SoggyBagel 3."I did it in the worst way. I said, 'That will never happen.' To be fair, we were not in love; he was my boss, and he told me he had a list of things he looked for in a woman, and I checked off the boxes." —After-Carpenter-4089 4."It was the wrong ring. I know that sounds super shallow, but I have a very specific ring in mind and am very vocal about it. My friends know, my family knows, my colleagues know. There is no hiding my particular style. I like yellow gold, and I detest diamonds. Anything that fit that description would have worked. Instead, I ended up with a sterling silver ring with the ugliest cut diamond I have ever seen. My partner was obviously not listening to me and had not discussed proposing to me with my father (I'm a little traditional) or my friends. So I said no. Now, I'm in a relationship with a man who has already talked to me about ring choices, discussed his engagement plan with my closest friends, and had the conversation with BOTH of my parents regarding the proposal and his plans to marry me." —Anonymous 5."I was proposed to three times before I met the man I eventually married. In those days, a proposal was considered a private moment between two people, not a public performance. In each case, I told them that, while I cared for them and was honored that they cared enough for me to want to marry me, I did not think we had the foundation for a compatible and happy marriage. In all three cases, they were not surprised that I said no. They were just hopeful that, if I saw how serious they were, I might be more willing to compromise on what I wanted for my future." —readbackcorrect 6."It was not in public, and it was not done politely. A lot happened between us, and it was mostly not good. I may have laughed and told him that he'd lost his mind, and maybe he should've asked one of his side pieces (he didn't know I knew). I knew he was never going to be the person I married. He was toxic, and he turned me into the worst version of myself, and I was finally starting to see it. He just didn't realize the same thing." —GiveMeAlienRomances 7."My ex gave me a ring that he picked up from his mom's house as she was going through her jewelry and getting rid of some stuff. The ring itself was the same engagement ring she had received from my ex's dad when they first got married, but then they divorced years later because he cheated on her with his secretary (whom he then married). So the ring itself was already haunted with a terrible origin story, and it was also missing several stones and was way too big for my finger. My ex gave it to me and said he wanted to 'fix it up' for me. We had only been together for about six months, and I had to tell him I didn't want to get married to him, and also, the ring was not one I'd ever wear. It wasn't a public conversation, but it was still one I didn't want to be a part of." —msnegative 8."My ex proposed AFTER I had broken up with him and moved out. I had found out he was hiring sex workers. I had gone to the house to pick up some things, and he got down on one knee and held out a ring. I rolled my eyes and told him to F off." —squirrelly_chaos 9."The guy I was dating just kind of assumed we'd be getting married, and I'd follow him to his next job. To be fair, I was kind of up in the air, but I was planning to go to grad school and just hadn't shared that with him. When he asked me when, not if, I wanted to get married, I flippantly said, 'I'm not marrying you.' He was shocked. We were not on the same page at all!" —Hazelstone37 10."We were in a restaurant, and a violinist appeared. A box was produced containing a ring. We were in a relationship, and had been for about a year and a half. He was a sweet guy, but nine years younger than I. I said no and explained that we weren't there yet. He was sad. Within a year, he was showing signs of a nervous breakdown. I had no idea what was happening. He became incredibly paranoid, and his behavior became very strange. Turns out he had a crack problem. I had never taken drugs other than trying weed as a teen, so I wasn't able to read the signs correctly. He was doing it at night when I went to bed. That was the end of that." —Poullafouca 11."My partner has 'proposed' four times to me and I've always said no. He proposed the first time after two years of being together. I said no because we were long-distance at the time. Then I finally got a job near his place, so we moved in together, and I soon got pregnant. We had our son, and our relationship turned very sour. I think we both had postpartum depression. This is when he decided to propose for the second time. Of course, I said no. We worked on our relationship. It took us a very long time, but we managed to get through our problems — at least it felt like it. Fast forward seven years, and we got pregnant with our second son. I thought we were in a good place, but I found out he was chatting with other women during the first few months I was pregnant with our second son. When I confronted him, after a week of arguments, we agreed to go to a restaurant to have a 'neutral' place to talk, without our sons, and he proposed again. I said no." "It's been eight years since then, and I've been in survival mode for my sons. He proposed once again last year. The ring has changed, but not my answer. As I type this, I realize how toxic we are for one another, and we are both to blame. I guess he proposes to me for the wrong reasons, and I keep saying no because I probably know deep down he's not the one for me, and I'm not the one for him. We've been together 19 years; our sons are nearly 16 and 9. The proposals were always casual, but they always came with a ring. I'm turning 40, and I know my sons deserve better because both my partner and I are unhappy in our silent relationship." —Anonymous 12."I knew he was planning to propose because I overheard him talking to his mother about redesigning family heirloom rings. I wasn't sure how much I even liked him, let alone if I'd commit to marrying him! I tried to talk to him about how good it was to take things slowly, but a week later, the proposal came regardless. I said how I felt honored by the rings, but couldn't accept them because it felt too soon for me, and then I returned them. He became very pushy, saying things like I was just overwhelmed, and of course, I wanted to be with him forever. I said I wasn't overwhelmed, I just didn't think he was 'the one.' It was sudden, and we hadn't even discussed our core beliefs." "He said I'd never get anyone better than him, and he'd give me a week to think about it. I had many possessions at his house but packed everything and left when he went to work. He was furious, so I stopped taking his calls. I spent the next decade dating, loving, and losing, and then I found a guy I knew I had a good future with. We've been married 28 years and he is MUCH better than him, who, interestingly, never got married." —Maclardy44 13."We were at IHOP. I told him to shut up and eat his pancakes. A couple of months later, he was banging my mom." —busterann 14."He proposed in public, but it wasn't a grand gesture. We were eating out, and he quietly asked. I told him I wasn't ready (we had been having problems beforehand). The problems got worse, and we finally broke up. He's been living with someone else longer than he and I were together, and they aren't married." —Loisgrand6 15."I smiled, held his hand, and said no. It was high school, he was a year above me, and we were on a school group spring break. I explained that we were way too young to even consider it. He pressed and tried to give me the ring as a promise ring, and I still shook my head and told him to get a refund for the ring and use it towards food (his family wasn't doing well)." "The second one I struggled with. He did it privately in a hotel room, and I felt nothing. I realized right there that I cared about him, but wasn't in love. He tried for two weeks, and I politely told him I wasn't ready, but he didn't seem to want that. (Now I know he was afraid of me leaving him, so he was trying to tie me down.) The third person was nice, but I simply reminded him I wasn't interested in marriage. We dated for another year before we split." —VivianKink 16."We'd been dating for over two years, not exclusively, because neither of us wanted to marry again. We'd both gotten screwed over before. He was very insistent, even while driving through nice neighborhoods he was looking to buy into, reminding me the house would be his, not ours. He constantly told me I wasn't going to lock him down. I met someone new who asked for monogamy. I agreed and broke off the dating relationship. Suddenly, he wanted to buy 'us' a house, showed up with a ring, and stalked me. I had to get a new phone number because of all the voicemails and texts. I've been married to the other guy for over 18 years." —Anonymous 17."We'd been broken up for about a year. It was a bad breakup, and that was his choice. I'd moved back home for a part of the time (another state, 2,000 miles away), and he worked hard to get me to move back to where we'd met and lived. Within five minutes of picking me up, he proposed in the car while driving. In all seriousness. I said I wasn't ready to talk about that. Apart from the whole breakup/get back together thing, I was 23 and am not keen on marriage in general. It never came up again. We broke up for good about a year later, which made sense to both of us. He greatly impacted my life, but I have no regrets. He's been married and divorced a couple of times since. I had a partner for 20 years. Neither of us was into marriage." —bootsbythedoor 18."My ex dropped down on one knee on a beach in Mexico during a Christmas vacation. My knee-jerk immediate reaction was to scream, 'OH DEAR GOD, NO!' He immediately fumbled and pretended to fix his shoe. We pretended it never happened, and I left him a few months later." —little__boxes 19."When it happened in private, I stayed quiet and pretended I didn't hear it—not out of cruelty, but because I didn't want to hurt him, not even gently, with words I wasn't ready to say. But the one time it was real and in public, I felt my heart ache. I knew I couldn't say yes, but I also couldn't let him carry that rejection in front of a crowd. So I kissed his forehead, held his hand, and softly asked if we could talk privately." —Creative_Purple9077 20."It was not in public. We were broken up for about six weeks. He slept in his car outside my house all night, and when I woke up in the morning to get ready for work, I realized he was there. I went to talk to him, and he immediately tried to get down on one knee and had a ring box in his hand. I told him to stand up and that we weren't doing that right now. That was 12 years ago. We tried making the relationship work then, and tried again a few years later. Twin flames for sure; we loved each other fiercely, but never worked because we never wanted the same things. I knew potentially marrying him then would have been a mistake, just like I know now that my life has worked out as intended: without him." —sluttychurros "It was not in public; it was just the two of us. I just explained we were too young and I was not ready to commit to marriage. Five years later, I committed to the same man. We're still married 20 years later. To me, marriage is a massive commitment and is done only once. When I was ready, I didn't look back or reconsider. If it was tough. I was changing part of my identity (name), so I had to be sure." —Neat3371 Women, have you ever rejected a marriage proposal? How come? Tell us in the comments or share anonymously using this form.
Buzz Feed
6 hours ago
- Buzz Feed
Dog ShowTalk Showdown
This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own! Community · The cutest the cutest and fluffiest Showdown ever
Buzz Feed
7 hours ago
- Buzz Feed
28 Co-Stars Who Hated Each Other In Real Life
Workplace tension is something most of us have dealt with. Honestly, I can't think of a single job I've had —except BuzzFeed— where there wasn't at least one person I absolutely couldn't stand. Maybe that says more about me than anything else, but the truth is, we're often forced to work alongside people we don't get along with. And that can be tough—sometimes even anxiety-inducing. At the end of the day, it's all about the check, so it's imperative that we don't get caught up in what we want but rather, what we need collectively. For many thespians in Hollywood, this type of friction can lead to some significant tension that manages to escape the workplace. It's not hard to think about Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively, who are currently embroiled in litigation surrounding declarations of sexual harassment and defamation, among other claims. This is perhaps an extreme example, but historically, there have been many moments where co-stars, despite how much chemistry they share on screen, despise each other's guts. Most times, we only find out about it after the fact. Below are 14 instances where Hollywood co-stars who played lovers or friends on-screen disliked each other when the cameras went off. Tension rose on the set of Charlie's Angels between Bill Murray and Lucy Liu, according to an interview Liu gave to the Los Angeles Times. Liu explained that, after reworking a scene with her co-stars at a time when Murray wasn't on set, he returned and apparently took out some of his aggression toward her. "As we're doing the scene, Bill starts to sort of hurl insults, and I won't get into the specifics, but it kept going on and on," she said. "I was, like, 'Wow, he seems like he's looking straight at me.' I couldn't believe that [the comments] could be towards me, because what do I have to do with anything majorly important at that time? I literally do the look around my shoulder thing, like, who is he talking to behind me? I say, 'I'm so sorry. Are you talking to me?' And clearly, he was, because then it started to become a one-on-one communication."Despite having "the least amount of privilege in terms of creatively participating," Liu said she stood her ground against Murray. The box office success of Magic Mike aside, Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer found themselves butting heads off-set, which ultimately led to Pettyfer's non-appearance in Magic Mike XXL. Perhaps one of the most interesting conflicts on a movie set belongs to Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. In a VH1 interview, The Notebook director Nick Cassavetes revealed in 2014 that the two had extreme tension with one another when they started filming the 2004 movie. "Ryan came to me, and there's 150 people standing in this big scene, and he says, 'Nick come here.' He's doing a scene with Rachel, and he says, 'Would you take her out of here and bring in another actress to read off-camera with me?'' Cassavetes recalled. ''I said, 'What?' He says, 'I can't. I can't do it with her. I'm just not getting anything from this.'' Despite this, the two ended up developing a strong chemistry with each other and dated from 2005-2007. Julia Roberts' feud with Nick Nolte on the set of I Love Trouble seemingly impacted how the film was received by critics. According to an interview she gave the New York Times in the 90s, she revealed how the two had shared blame for some of their on-set troubles. "From the moment I met him we sort of gave each other a hard time, and naturally we get on each other's nerves,' Roberts revealed after she was asked about the reputation Nolte developed for being crude on set. '[While he can be] completely charming and very nice, he's also completely disgusting. He's going to hate me for saying this, but he seems to go out of his way to repel people. He's a kick." During a 2022 interview, Nolte acknowledged his own shortcomings in their reaction. "I mean, it was absurd what we went through. It was partly my fault and a little bit of hers. Julia got married at the beginning of that film, and it was one of those things where I just approached it all wrong.' Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze's chemistry was unmatched in Dirty Dancing. However, their previous encounters on the set of Red Dawn created friction that extended to their on-set attitudes with each other. Grey explained that Swayze often pulled juvenile pranks that rubbed her the wrong way, though she revealed he later tearfully apologized. Then, when they filmed Dirty Dancing, Swayze became frustrated with what he deemed a lack of professionalism, which actually helped make the movie what it was. "When we're doing those dance sequences, and everything, and she's crying, and she's giggling, those moments really work because they're real. They just took pieces of Patrick and Jennifer, working together as attempting to be a dance team, and my frustration. My real frustration. I'm trying to keep this girl serious. I'm trying to keep her from crying, trying to keep her focused, to get past her fear and her ego," he said. However, it seems as though the two ultimately shared an appreciation for one another, their skills, and what they brought to the table. It Ends With Us is probably the best example of on-set feuds between two on-screen lovers. Blake Lively filed a lawsuit against Justin Baldoni, the film's director and her co-star, alleging sexual harassment and a retaliatory smear campaign during production. In response, Baldoni countersued and denied the allegations. His countersuit targeted Lively, her husband Ryan Reynolds, and her publicist for $400M for defamation, civil extortion, and attempting to take over the film's creative direction, per CBS. On-screen besties Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall apparently weren't quite close on the set of Sex And The City. Though there were reports that the two had their issues, Cattrall made her feelings about Parker clear after the latter expressed condolences for the loss of the former's brother. "I don't need your love and support at this tragic time @sarahjessicaparker," she wrote on Instagram. "My Mom asked me today 'When will that @sarahjessicaparker, that hypocrite, leave you alone?' Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were then and now. Let me make this VERY clear. (If I haven't already) You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I'm writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your 'nice girl' persona," she added in the post. Tyrese Gibson, while an eccentric in his own right, has expressed immense disdain for James Franco in the past (although it feels like more of a collective feeling these days). On the set of Annapolis, there was a lot of tension, largely because of Franco's acting methods during the fight scenes, which apparently resulted in actual physical contact. 'I never want to work with him again, and I'm sure he feels the same way. It felt very personal. It was f**ked-up," Gibson stated. Meanwhile, Franco's explained that he's tried to bury the hatchet, though acknowledged that he probably wasn't the easiest to work with either. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and his feud with Vin Diesel have become part of the Fast & Furious franchise lore. It began when Diesel talked about the "tough love" he showed Johnson in an attempt to improve his acting chops, leading to on-set tension. Johnson also responded on Instagram, calling his co-star "chicken sh*t" and "candy a**." However, the two have seemingly ended their beef as Diesel shared a photo of the two on Instagram with the caption reading, "All love... Always..." Despite co-starring together on one of the most celebrated series on television, David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson had a touch of tension on the set of The X-Files. Though it was primarily rumors that the two had issues with each other, they've both separately acknowledged a "strained" relationship, largely due to lengthy work hours. 'I mean, yes, there were definitely periods when we hated each other," she told the Guardian when asked about rumors of tension on set. 'Hate is too strong a word. We didn't talk for long periods of time. It was intense, and we were both pains in the arse for the other at various times.' She noted that the two have a much healthier relationship these days. "But we are closer today than we ever have been." Outside of Chris Rock, there are very few people that Will Smith has engaged in public feuds with. However, when it came to Janet Hubert, who played the original Aunt Viv in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, the on-set tension led to her being replaced entirely. During the 2020 Fresh Prince reunion, Smith and Hubert hashed out their differences with Will admitting that he made the set difficult for Janet. "You took all that away from me with your words," Hubert told Smith. "Words can kill. I lost everything. Reputation. Everything, everything. I understand you were able to move forward. You know those words — calling a Black woman 'difficult' in Hollywood is the kiss of death. It's hard enough being a dark-skinned Black woman in this business. I felt it was necessary for us to finally move forward. And I'm sorry I have blasted you to pieces." Hollywood harbors plenty of creeps that are only now getting exposed. But in the case of Marlon Brando, who is still considered one of the greatest actors of all time, his on-set behavior earned him a horrible reputation, especially due to the fallouts with close collaborators, acquaintances, and co-stars. Sophie Loren revealed in her 1963 memoir how inappropriate Brando was on the set of A Countess from Hong Kong. "All of a sudden, he put his hands on me. I turned in all tranquillity and blew in his face, like a cat stroked the wrong way and said, 'Don't you ever dare to do that again. Never again!'' she said. "As I pulverised him with my eyes he seemed small, defenceless, almost a victim of his own notoriety. He never did it again, but it was very difficult working with him after that.' Issues between William Shatner and George Takei began bubbling in the public eye after Takei revealed just how difficult Shatner was to work with. "It's difficult working with someone who is not a team player. The rest of the cast all understand what makes a scene work—it's everybody contributing to it,' Takei said about Shatner in 2015. 'But Bill is a wonderful actor, and he knows it, and he likes to have the camera on him all the time.' Years later, Shatner responded. "George has never stopped blackening my name. These people are bitter and embittered. I have run out of patience with them. Why give credence to people consumed by envy and hate?" he said. The feud between Sacha Baron Cohen and Rebel Wilson began on the set of The Brothers Grimsby, where Wilson alleged that Cohen asked her to engage in unscripted, lewd acts for the film. Before she released her memoir, Rebel Rising, which included a chapter dedicated to the "a*sholes" she worked with in Hollywood, specifically Cohen, who allegedly got a team of lawyers and PR crisis managers to suppress her memoir. Cohen's rep offered The Independent a statement regarding the claims. 'While we appreciate the importance of speaking out, these demonstrably false claims are directly contradicted by extensive detailed evidence, including contemporaneous documents, film footage, and eyewitness accounts from those present before, during and after the production of The Brothers Grimsby," it read.
