‘Radical acceptance': Yiyun Li lost both her sons to suicide. Her rigorous memoir reveals her as a very special writer

New Indian Express

20-06-2025

'My husband and I had two children and lost them both,' writes Yiyun Li early in her latest book, Things in Nature Merely Grow. And then, with harrowing directness, 'Both chose suicide'.
Such loss might seem at odds with the title of growth, but as she explains in her deeply thoughtful, rigorous account of a family tragedy, it reflects insights developed through the practice of gardening. 'Things in nature merely grow until it's time for them to die' – and gardeners must learn to develop patience, flexibility and openness to what may come.
Such capacities are very useful for writers, and Li is a prolific author who brings to her writing a forensic, incisive perspective, along with a marvellous deployment of language and tone.
Born and raised in China, Li migrated to the United States in 1996 with the intention of completing a doctorate in immunology. But, she says, 'I wanted to do something I loved'. That turned out to be writing. In 2005, she added a master of fine arts (MFA) from University of Iowa to her bachelor of science and research masters in immunology.
I imagine these qualifications, along with her nuclear physicist father, provided deep immersion in the scientific method – and led to her writing style, imbued with systematic observation and analysis.
Li's first book, the short-story collection A Thousand Years of Good Prayers, was the inaugural winner of the Frank O'Connor International Short Story Award. In 2010, she was included in the New Yorker's 20 best writers under 40 and won a MacArthur 'genius' grant. Since then, she has received cabinets of further awards.
Across her work, Li consistently explores difficult issues – as writers generally do. In many cases, the topic and content draw on her experiences as the child of an abusive mother, and as a young woman living under the strictures of China in the post-Tiananmen Square period.
Years after her migration, she experienced a major depressive episode and was hospitalised following suicide attempts. Out of this experience, she wrote her first memoir (in essays), Dear Friend, From My Life I Write to You in Your Life (2017).