I made end-of-life checklist after doctor's chilling warning – I'm not afraid of dying anymore, says Davina McCall

The Sun

21 hours ago

WHEN a surgeon warned Davina McCall her brain tumour was a ticking time-bomb, the 57-year-old feared death was imminent as she braced for emergency surgery.
Convinced she wouldn't make it off the operating table, the Masked Singer star was driven to make an end-of-life checklist, which she now says turned her traumatic experience into "the best gift".
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In an emotionally frank interview, Davina admits spiralling into denial about the benign tumour that was discovered by chance - only taking action four months after her diagnosis.
The turning point came after hearing from her fourth neurosurgeon, who gave her the "wake-up call" she needed by sternly telling Davina she would die if she didn't act quickly, adding: 'It's a big tumour. It can't grow anymore, or you'll get water on the brain. If you're on a plane, there would have to be an emergency landing.'
Breaking down in tears at Fearne Cotton's Happy Place Festival at Gunnersby Park, Davina said: "I needed to get my brain in the right place where I could be calm before the operation.
"I had to make sure that my kids were going to be OK if I did not make it. That is all I really cared about.
"I knew my partner, Michael, would be OK as he is a whole person, but I was really worried about my kids."
Davina has been dating celebrity hairdresser Michael Douglas since separating from her former husband Matthew Robertson in 2017, calling him her "soulmate" during her brain tumour battle.
The mum of three who shares Holly, 23, Tilly, 21, and 18-year-old Chester with her ex added: "I went into forensic thinking about my children and where they were at in their life, what stage they were at.
"You are only happy as your unhappiest child.
"But I realised that they would be great, they would miss me, and I want to be with them, but they would be fine.
"I felt I could go to sleep on the operating table and know that they were all here to help me, but I can let go of the outcome, and it was the best gift."
Beaming Davina McCall reveals she's got all clear from brain tumour after life-saving surgery
In the end, her checklist came down to finding peace in the fact that her loved ones would survive without her.
Coming to terms with death has changed Davina's life for the better, she says - despite getting the all clear after the 14mm wide colloid cyst was removed in November 2024.
She says: "They had said it was a benign brain tumour and for four months I thought 'that's fine. No need to do anything about it. I have had it since I was born.'
"I couldn't understand why I'd have an operation when I didn't have any symptoms.
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"But after the operation, I was aware of a noise in my head, and they were thoughts. I realised I did not have that before. Now I wake up and wonder why the grass is green, and now I think of the most random things.
"I needed someone to tell me what to do, and my American doctor told me I should undergo surgery to have the tumour cut out.
"When I got the phone call, although it was a hard one to hear, I needed it."
And in a controversial statement, the mum of three claims her brain surgery is "the best thing to ever happen to me".
"I am not afraid of dying anymore," Davina continued.
"It was the biggest journey of my life.
"It was an amazing time.
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"I would not change anything. Without sounding arrogant, I now love myself.
"I have been on a massive life journey, and I have been through terrible struggles. That is where the learning comes from.
"If something really hard happens now, I know it is a good thing.
"I said to Michael, 'If I make it through this brain surgery, it is going to be the best thing that has ever happened to me'.
"The learning that I have made in the past two years has been so immense and enriching. I would not change it for the world.
"Obviously, when it happened, it was like a calamity, but to not be afraid of disasters, that will make you a better person."
Now Davina says she wants to help others on their deathbed with her Begin Again podcast, a show dedicated to empowering people to embrace midlife as their most transformative era yet.
Davina's guests - including famous faces and industry experts - share stories of growth and rediscovery.
She says: "Midlife is not the start of the end; instead, it's the perfect opportunity and time to Begin Again", says Davina about her podcast, and added: "It has been a wake-up call. We have a wake-up call, and we are here.
"A couple of people say I look so well, but it is because I am in a happy place.
"My happy place is now with people I love, with Michael, our kids, our families - probably in a karaoke bar or Ibiza or with people I love with music and dancing.
"I feel free. We were listening to Florence and the Machine the other day, and that song Free with everybody dancing. That, for me, with people you love, that is my drug of choice.
"Now I want everyone to be able to say 'I have lived the life I wanted' and not think things like 'I wish I had not done that job. I wished I had not stayed in this relationship'."