The secret diary of . . . Royal Commissioner Grant Illingworth KC
Thank you everyone for coming along to this excellent use of public spending.
As head of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Covid-19, I shall investigate, and investigate fully, the claims of those who say the government's handling of the Covid-19 crisis was a crime against humanity and was led by Jacinda Ardern who is not actually human but some sort of lizard with speech and hair extensions.
We will now hear from an authority on the subject, and indeed on a great many subjects, Heather du Plessis-Allan from Newstalk ZB. She wishes to put forward the argument that Jacinda Ardern should attend the inquiry.
"She's making money off books and all sorts while many businesses here never recovered from lockdowns. Isn't a little truth-telling in order?"
Thank you. That's very helpful.
TUESDAY
We will now hear from someone with an audience of 15 people, down from 17 last week, but who has insisted on making his views heard and is indeed frothing at the mouth. Could someone please pass Ryan Bridge from Herald Now a tissue?
That's better. Mr Bridge wishes to jump on the bandwagon about Jacinda Ardern attending the inquiry.
"I was one of just a handful of interviewers who grilled her on a weekly basis during this time period. I'm saving the best bits for a book one day, but there was image and stage control happening behind the scenes you wouldn't believe."
Thank you. We cannot wait for the book. Will you write it?
WEDNESDAY
We will now hear, inevitably, from Stuff content provider Paddy Gower.
Mr Gower wishes to crush the Jacinda Ardern bandwagon beneath the weight of his polemic aimed at the lowest common denominator.
"How good would it be if Dame Jacinda Ardern fronted up to the Covid inquiry? It would be really good for New Zealand, in my opinion."
Thank you. God almighty. Are we done yet?
THURSDAY
We shall now hear from Voices for Freedom.
They signal they have very important information concerning the real figures of how many people died from Covid.
Data from the World Health Organisation shows there had been more than 7million Covid-19 deaths reported as of 22 June this year. What the hell do the WHO know about anything, contend Voices for Freedom, who stand before the Inquiry in a fetching array of tinfoil hats.
Thank you for coming today. Are you nervous? Is that froth? We have run out of tissues. Mr Bridge had great need.
Please compose yourself as best you can. Down to business. Many thousands of people around the world died, particularly in that early period, but do you dispute that?
"No doubt there were, as there are every year with flus and things like that, and yes, it might have been a particularly bad instance of that."
Thank you. Could someone please hand over a defibrillator? Or some heroin. I am losing the will to live.
FRIDAY
The Inquiry is pleased to announce that Jacinda Ardern says she will provide evidence to the second stage of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into Covid-19.
I shall investigate, and investigate fully, the decisions she made which helped to save the lives of an estimated 20,000 New Zealanders.
Such an outcome must never happen again. It won't with this government.
By Steve Braunias
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Scoop
2 hours ago
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Social Crisis Deepening In New Zealand
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Newsroom
a day ago
- Newsroom
Govt winds up council reform storm
Analysis: It's a sentiment likely to set pulses racing among the current crop of Government ministers. In 2010, four-term councillor Bryan Cadogan aimed to unseat sitting Clutha mayor Juno Hayes by running on a platform of tying rates to inflation and focusing on core services. Cadogan won by 354 votes, turning around the previous election result in the district hemmed in by Dunedin, Central Otago, and Southland. Now, the Clutha mayor, who isn't running for re-election in October's elections, finds himself, and his sector, in the firing line of an interventionist Government considering rates caps, and introducing legislation to ensure councils focus on – that's right – core services. The Local Government NZ conference in Ōtautahi/Christchurch was formally launched on Wednesday with a video address, of less than two minutes, by Prime Minister Christopher Luxon. Councils need to get back to basics, he said, spending wisely and delivering value. What does that mean? 'Prioritising pipes over vanity projects,' explained the prime minister, flanked by national flags. 'It means roads over reports, and it means real outcomes.' When the address finished, conference MC Miriama Kamo started clapping loudly, joined somewhat unenthusiastically by a smattering of conference attendees. 'I'm the only one clapping, I see,' Kamo quipped. Cadogan says the Government's message landed 'pretty flatly' with him. 'It's getting a wee bit tedious getting asked time and time again to do the impossible.' Chris Bishop, the minister overseeing resource management reforms, took a more fire and brimstone approach than his leader, saying there was shrinking evidence councils were cutting their cloth and enabling growth. 'You cry out for more financing and funding tools. We're giving them to you. You ask for a better, simpler planning system. We're giving this to you, too. 'We are getting our house in order. It's time you sorted yours out.' 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'We're thinking about it,' Watts said, adding ministers were cognisant 'there's already a huge amount of reform underway in your sector'. Bishop tried to mollify concerns about potential environmental consequences from the audience, saying a new Natural Environment Act would focus on biodiversity, ecology and human health. Later, the minister tells Newsroom: 'There will be environmental limits that will be set through the new regime.' (After a remit passed at Local Government NZ's annual general meeting on Wednesday, councils called for a review of local government's structure.) Christopher Luxon beamed in to the Local Government NZ conference in Christchurch. Photo: David Williams Government reforms for local government include the network-merging replacement for three waters, Local Water Done Well, waving city and regional deals under the noses of councils, and offering different funding and financing options for infrastructure to speed up house-building. Back to Cadogan, the Clutha mayor, who talks to Newsroom while walking to a negotiation with other councils on water services. He says despite Government rhetoric, councils can't be expected to achieve the triumvirate of lower rates, infrastructure upgrades and under-control debt. 'The Government know it, we know it, but we just keep on getting this.' Clutha council's experience puts those financial management challenges in stark relief. In 2019, its external borrowings were $5 million. Five years later, it had ballooned to $123m. To add salt to the financial wound, this year's average rates rise was an 'ungodly' 16.59 percent. How did this happen? 'Three waters, wholly and solely,' Cadogan says. (Last year, the mayor predicts the financial consequences of the 'three waters debacle' will hit. In the latest annual plan, he says 89.4 percent of this year's rates rise is attributable to roads, rubbish and three waters.) Clutha's unfortunate figures are: the third-longest water reticulation network in the country, with 27 sewage or water plants on 30-year consents, and, crucially, only 18,500 people to pay for it. Of the country's 565 drinking water quality breaches last year, 338 or 60 percent were in Clutha. 'We all want lower rates increases,' says Sam Broughton, the Selwyn district mayor and Local Government NZ president. Photo: David Williams Cadogan gives the example of a water upgrade for the tiny town of Waihola: running an 18.5km pipeline from Milton's water treatment plant oto the reservoir cost $6.3m. After years of problems with water quality and quantity, boil water notices were removed for all but 20 of the town's 247 houses. 'Then we go to Heriot, and then we go to Tapanui, then Owaka, then Clinton,' Cadogan says. 'It's a financial delusion that you can have rates cap, you can have debt ceilings, and you have to do this infrastructure update.' It would have been better for the National-led coalition to lift the hood on Labour's three waters policy and chuck out what they didn't like, Broughton says, instead of scrapping it and starting again. He thinks resolving water across the country might take seven or eight more steps. Policy lurches and delays cost millions of dollars and can, of course, increase council rates. Many councils might feel aggrieved by the ministerial attack given the National Party's pre-election commitment to devolution and localism. Luxon promised to reshape the relationship between central and local government. 'It does feel like every party in opposition is a localist,' Broughton says, 'and then as soon as they're in power, they become a creature that draws all the more power to themselves.' Broughton was applauded by conference attendees for his opening comments – made before Bishop's address. 'We all want lower rates increases. I want lower rates increases, I know you want lower rates increases, I hear from my community they want lower rates increases. But it can't be at the expense of our children picking up the tab because of our negligence today.' The Selwyn mayor tells Newsroom a key problem is councils have few alternatives to raise money. The best tool the Government could give councils, in his opinion, is to return GST spending on new houses locally. 'That would be a game-changer for us,' he says, noting between 1000 and 3000 houses have been built each year in Selwyn over the past five or six years. Broughton's also a fan of bed taxes, something Queenstown's council has, for years, been pushing for. Luxon said this week the Government's not actively considering a bed tax. 'It has just been an avalanche of unstoppable figures. Unstoppable.' Bryan Cadogan, Clutha mayor This is the second year ministers have used the Local Government NZ conference to berate councils for spending on 'nice-to-haves'. Last year, the venue, Wellington's $180m Tākina centre, was in the crosshairs. But Christchurch's half-billion-dollar monolithic convention centre, Te Pae, is of a different ilk – paid for by taxpayers as a post-quake anchor project. Luxon, Watts and Bishop did miss a trick in Christchurch, though. A 15-minute walk away from Te Pae is the new stadium, Te Kaha – a loss-making facility that will cost ratepayers $453m to build. The city's ratepayers face a three-year, cumulative rates rise of 24.66 percent that without the stadium, that would have been 19.43 percent. Using Luxon's words, the stadium isn't roads, rubbish or water, and tends, perhaps, more towards a vanity project. The last word goes to Cadogan, the outgoing Clutha mayor. He hopes a water services 'umbrella' with other councils will help his district save on infrastructure spending. 'We've been basically a stand-alone council for the last five years. Have a look what that did to our debt,' he says. 'I'm gutted as a mayor. I pride myself on really understanding figures. I understand them all right. It has just been an avalanche of unstoppable figures. Unstoppable.'
Otago Daily Times
2 days ago
- Otago Daily Times
Letters to the Editor: voting, pubs and mining
Today's Letters to the Editor from readers cover topics including non-resident ratepayer voting, backing the local pub, and trashing our heritage for overseas mining interests. Candidate claim runs counter to principle Green Party mayoral candidate Mickey Treadwell is mistaken in his opinion that non-resident ratepayer voting violates New Zealand's democratic principles ( ODT 11.7.25). "No taxation without representation" is a fundamental principle of democracy. This principle has been established as far back as the Boston Tea Party of 1773, which triggered the American Revolution and the establishment of the first truly democratic modern state. For Mr Treadwell to claim that long-term holiday home owners and non-resident owners of say, commercial property in Dunedin city, have less of an interest in the future of the city and "less investment in public good" is just plainly untrue. Compared to a bunch of students living in a rented flat for a couple of years, each of whom has a residential vote and who will all likely depart the city forever on graduation, who does Mr Treadwell think has a greater stake in the city? I suspect the real reason for Mr Treadwell's concern is that he (rightly) believes that non-resident ratepayer electors are less likely to vote for a Green Party candidate. And just for the record, it doesn't matter how many properties a non-resident ratepayer elector owns within a local body territory: they only get one vote in that territory, even if the property or properties within that territory are jointly owned. Power and votes Green Party mayoral candidate Mickey Treadwell complained that non-resident ratepayers had disproportionate power because they can vote in the council elections. He is quoted as saying: "it's a pretty direct violation of our one-person, one vote democratic principle". I am sure that Mr Treadwell, as a Green Party member, is a supporter of unelected Māori having voting rights on council committees. How he and many liberal lefties reconcile this with his above quote I don't know. I am afraid that we have far too many ideologues as councillors and would-be councillors, who as the above quote reveals are quite happy to foster democracy, but are quite prepared to ignore their principles, when their ideology demands it. We did great There has been a surfeit of grizzling and faux outrage from the right wing and the ignorant regarding Jacinda Ardern, Ashley Bloomfield, and the excellent public health team who led our Covid response. Aotearoa saved 20,000 lives due to the border closure, mask mandates and our vaccination programme, according to statistician Michael Planck and epidemiologist Professor Michael Baker. Official statistical sites reveal that the US suffered 3493 deaths per million people (as at July 2025), the UK 3404, France 2613, Canada 1424 and New Zealand 834. Our economy came out of Covid strongly with low unemployment and with Triple A or Double A plus ratings from Moody's and Standard and Poor's. Yet there is a barrage of often hysterical criticism of the Ardern government's brilliant response to a major pandemic. Perhaps next time a pandemic arrives, the coalition apologists and the egotistical show ponies should go and live in the US and watch as hospitals split at the seams and morgues overflow into the streets while mass graves are dug, as in 2020. Local customer backs his local establishment In the ODT (8.7.25) article regarding the on-licence and off-licence renewal application for Mackies Hotel, Port Chalmers, the Dunedin City Council licensing staff were insinuating Mackies was poorly run and opposed the renewal of the liquor licence. On the contrary, this hotel is a well-run and well-maintained spotless pub. I question the decision made by DCC licensing inspector Tanya Morrison and medical officer Aaron Whipp suggesting Mr Sefton was not a suitable applicant to hold a licence. He admits he got slack with ever-changing compliance, but no need to make a mountain out of mole hill. A word in his ear would have sufficed. Publican Wayne Sefton and his family have been a big support to the Port Chalmers community and sports clubs over the last 40 years. Mr Sefton, like most community publicans, also takes an interest in the wellbeing of his patrons. DCC licensing staff should be supporting and help promote our community pubs: most of them are managed well with no trouble. I would love to see more young people use these establishments. Whilst having a beer or two they would meet a lot of interesting people of all ages and demographics and walks of life. Mining and its legacy I was shocked to hear about the proposed Santana mine at Tarras. Do we really want a Central Otago where the noise of explosions, trucks and stamping machines echoes across the quiet Lake Dunstan, where 24/7 flood-lighting blots out the stars, where carcinogenic arsenic is released from the smashed schist and hangs around in the air and coats the soil, where toxins from a massive tailings dam leaches into the Clutha, where three huge open-cast mines are highly visible? Eventually the Santana mine will expand through the Dunstan mountains and the Maniototo. Everyone who lives, works and plays in Otago and will feel the irreversible effects of the Santana mine. The proposal is being fast-tracked, with diminished local or environmental input. We don't have much time. Parliamentarian Shane Jones has ranted in respect of digging up our landscape and trashing our cultural heritage in favour of carte blanche access for Australian mining interests. In Chillagoe, a one-time mining centre in far north Queensland, there is an abandoned smelter. This small centre is the acknowledged "start-of-the-outback", with something of a character of its own. The place has been suspended in time, in the condition which probably existed on the day the last worker quit the site, no doubt to seek alternative employment at another mine. My argument is: if that is the condition in which Australian mining conglomerates leave their own landscape, what assurances of remediation of our own landscape in the wake of gold, or whatever, finally giving out in New Zealand may be relied upon? We as a country with much less territorial area able to be trashed than Australia, exist in their eyes with only one justification for our existence: our potential to be exploited, for their rapacious gain. [Abridged — length. Editor.] Address Letters to the Editor to: Otago Daily Times, PO Box 517, 52-56 Lower Stuart St, Dunedin. Email: editor@
