Woman Asks for ‘Personal Space' from Needy Friend While Traveling

Yahoo

11-05-2025

A woman shared on Reddit that she recently traveled to Japan with a friend, who proved to be a bit needy
During the trip, the Redditor felt frustrated and wanted some time to explore on her own
She asked fellow Redditors if she was wrong to want some 'personal space' while traveling with her friendFor one woman, traveling with a friend resulted in a bit too much togetherness.
She shared her story in a post on Reddit's "Am I the A------" forum, detailing how she and her female friend took a big trip to Japan, something they had talked about and planned for more than a year. It was the Redditor's third time to the country and her friend's first.
When the two women arrived at their destination, they immediately found themselves at odds over their plans. The OP felt well-rested after the flight and wanted to head out and explore, but her friend said she was tired and wanted to rest.
Hearing this, the OP decided to step out alone for some food and "a quick look around" — much to her friend's dismay. "She seemed upset and said she felt I was abandoning her in a foreign country. I clarified that I wasn't leaving her behind — just stepping out since she wanted to rest," the OP recalled. "She didn't say much after that, so I quietly left."
Another disagreement followed the next morning when the friend was more than 90 minutes late for their planned breakfast outing. By then, the restaurant they had chosen had stopped serving breakfast, so the OP agreed with her friend's suggestion to go to another neighborhood to eat.
Afterward, the friend wanted to return to the hotel to rest again, but the OP was keen to keep exploring. She convinced her friend to come along, but she "didn't seem very engaged" and complained a lot. Then, when she got "shoulder-checked by an elderly man," she claimed it happened because the OP hadn't been walking beside her.
When the two returned to the hotel later that day, the friend once again wanted to rest — for two to three hours — so the OP went out to sightsee on her own. She came back expecting to get dinner with her friend, but was told she only eats two meals a day and therefore didn't want to go out for dinner. "[It was] something I hadn't known, as she hadn't voiced that during trip planning," the OP noted.
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The situation only grew more frustrating for the OP.
"The next day, she wanted to shop for cosmetics. Knowing she'd take her time, I browsed briefly, then returned to tell her I might check out the next store," she recalled. "Before I could say anything, she expressed frustration and said she'd hoped I'd help her choose products. She also compared me to other friends who stick together the whole time while traveling."
By this point, the OP was at a loss. "I genuinely care about my friend and tried to accommodate her needs, but I also value a bit of independence while traveling," she wrote. "I never ignored her or intentionally excluded her, but I did need moments to explore at my own pace."
She concluded her post by asking fellow Redditors if she was wrong for "wanting some personal space" from her needy friend.
In the comments section, many readers pointed out the obvious — the two women clearly have different styles of traveling. They also said the pair should have better communicated with each other before embarking on the trip.
"You two really should have talked — beforehand — about how you planned to get through your days together. You have such different ideas and expectations," one person said.
Another agreed, writing: "It seems you two aren't compatible for traveling together at this stage in your travel journeys. I think you and your friend need to have a clear conversation about expectations. This should've been had before the trip."
Some commenters were sympathetic to the friend, particularly as this was her first time in Japan and the OP was more familiar with the country. One person advised the OP to try to strike a balance between being attentive to and present with her friend while also taking some time to be alone.
"I can understand her wanting you nearby on her first trip to a foreign country, but you've done nothing wrong. Try to remember how you felt on your first trip & consider the fact that you chose to travel together, but also don't hold yourself back from exploring on your own while she relaxes at the hotel, which seems to be a frequent occurrence," they wrote.
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