FLOURISHING AFTER 50: My husband's business partner is bleeding us dry and I'm scared we're going to lose our home
Dear Vanessa,
I'm 58 and have been married for almost 30 years. My husband has run a business with his friend for most of that time. I've always stayed out of it - he's in charge, and I've trusted him to make good decisions.
But things have changed. Over the past few years, the business has struggled. They've poured more money in, and they recently took out another loan that was secured against our home. I signed the paperwork, yes, but only at the last minute after being told it was urgent and everything would be fine.
Now, I feel sick about it.
I don't trust his business partner. He always seems to have an excuse for the numbers not stacking up, and I've heard him say things like 'we just need one more year'. Meanwhile, we've taken on more debt, and I have no idea what our financial position really is.
I've asked my husband about it, but he gets defensive or brushes me off. He says I don't understand how business works - but what I do understand is that we've risked our home, and I didn't really grasp how far things had gone until it was too late.
I'm scared. What happens if it all falls apart? I've spent my life building this home, and now it's on the line. I don't know what I can do from here.
Worried Wife.
Dear Worried Wife,
You are right to be concerned. This isn't just a business issue - it's a shared financial future, and your security is tied up in decisions you haven't been fully part of.
Many women sign documents out of trust or a sense of urgency - especially when it involves someone they love. But that doesn't mean you have to stay silent now.
Here's what I strongly suggest:
• Speak to a licensed financial adviser straight away. To help them give you clear guidance, prepare a full list of your assets, debts, superannuation, and anything your home is tied to including business loans and guarantees. The clearer the picture, the better they can help.
• Push for transparency. Your husband might be trying to protect you from worry but shielding you from reality isn't helpful. You have every right to ask for the business's financial reports and to know how your home is being used.
• Consider getting legal advice. It's worth understanding what you've signed and whether there are any protective actions you can take now to limit further exposure.
• Set firm boundaries. Make it clear that no further loans or financial decisions involving your assets can be made without joint agreement in writing.
You've spent nearly 30 years building a life together but now it's time to protect the next 30. Information is power. The more you gather, the more you seek advice, the clearer your path becomes - before you're forced into action by a situation you fear.
If you're looking for a licensed adviser, I offer a free referral service to help connect you with someone who suits your needs.
You deserve to feel safe and confident about your future - not anxious and in the dark.
Take care,
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