Latest news with #trustissues
Yahoo
5 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
These Deep-Rooted Behaviors Show Your Childhood Left You With Serious Abandonment Issues
Abandonment wounds don't always show up as dramatic breakdowns or needy texts. Sometimes, they're buried inside the habits you've normalized—behaviors that seem 'independent' or 'low-maintenance' but are really protective armor. If you've ever wondered why connection feels exhausting or why you keep choosing unavailable people, the answer may lie in your earliest emotional blueprint. Here are 13 quietly damaging behaviors that reveal unresolved abandonment issues from childhood—most of them hiding in plain sight. You talk yourself out of opportunities before anyone else has a chance to. Whether it's love, jobs, or friendships, you assume you're not wanted and withdraw before rejection can occur. It feels like self-protection, but it's actually self-erasure. This isn't humility—it's preemptive abandonment. You'd rather hurt yourself than wait for someone else to do it. It feels safer, but it's emotionally corrosive. When someone gives you consistent, healthy affection, you find reasons to pull away. You question their motives or suddenly feel irritated by them. It's not that you don't want love—it's that you don't know how to trust it. You're waiting for the other shoe to drop. So you start loosening the laces yourself. Because safety feels foreign and unsafe feels familiar. Calm notes that people with abandonment issues often struggle to trust positive attention, fearing it will be taken away. You never want to be a burden, so you shrink your needs down to something more 'reasonable.' You pride yourself on not asking for much. But deep down, you resent never being fully seen. This is emotional minimalism rooted in survival. You learned early on that being needy made people disappear. So now you disappear your needs instead. As described by Psych Central, minimizing your needs is a protective adaptation to early emotional neglect. You bond hard and fast, craving connection like oxygen. But as soon as it starts feeling real, you're flooded with anxiety and self-doubt. You're either all in or ghosting without warning. This push-pull dance is your nervous system reenacting childhood instability. Intimacy feels intoxicating and terrifying. So you chase it and sabotage it simultaneously. You'd rather struggle in silence than risk someone letting you down. You've internalized the belief that needing others is weak—or dangerous. So you stay self-sufficient to a fault. Hyper-independence is a trauma response. It's what happens when the people who should've cared for you didn't. Now you trust no one but yourself. As explained by Charlie Health, hyper-independence is often rooted in childhood abandonment or neglect. You're drawn to people who are aloof, distant, or inconsistent—and you mistake it for chemistry. You chase the high of tiny crumbs of affection. It's not love; it's a trauma reenactment. Unavailable love feels familiar because it's what you knew. You're trying to win a battle you lost in childhood. But love that feels like chasing isn't love at all. You say sorry for having feelings, for asking questions, for taking up space. You're constantly scanning for signs that you've upset someone. Your default setting is guilt—even when you're innocent. This is emotional damage control. You learned early that love was conditional. So now you work overtime to earn safety you should never have to earn. As Psychology Today points out, over-apologizing is a common response to childhood emotional insecurity and abandonment. You give and give, but rarely receive. You're more comfortable being the emotional caretaker than being emotionally cared for. It lets you avoid vulnerability while still feeling connected. Caretaking gives you a sense of control. It mimics love without requiring you to trust. But it leaves you empty in the end. A delayed text, a shift in tone, a quiet evening—you read it all as abandonment. You catastrophize silence and spiral into worst-case scenarios. It feels like the beginning of the end every time. This hypervigilance is your nervous system on alert. You're wired to expect loss. So even calm moments feel threatening. You feel most alive when someone needs saving. You confuse love with labor—thinking if you can just fix them, you'll finally be safe. You fall for potential instead of presence. Fixing others distracts from your own pain. But it's a trap that reinforces your belief that love must be earned. Real intimacy doesn't need a rescue mission. When you're in pain, you retreat. You disappear from texts, cancel plans, and convince yourself no one would understand anyway. You tell yourself it's strength—but it's fear. You learned early that vulnerability equals abandonment. So now you armor up. But connection requires letting someone in. You wait for people to leave, no matter how present they are. You don't believe emotional security is real, because you've never truly known it. So you exist in low-grade panic even during good moments. Your body remembers what your mind tries to forget. Until that fear is addressed, love will always feel unstable. Healing starts when you stop bracing for the goodbye. You've lived in emotional isolation so long that it feels like home. You normalize disconnection and pretend you prefer it. You tell yourself you're fine, but something always feels missing. Loneliness isn't your fault—but it became your default. And it's not too late to choose differently. Real connection feels foreign at first—but that doesn't mean it's wrong.
News.com.au
7 days ago
- Business
- News.com.au
‘Catfishing': Dodgy tradies' insane rip off tactics exposed
Frustrating issues normally seen in the dating world have rocked Australia's home repairs and renovations industry, with homeowners warned about a concerning rise in 'catfish tradies'. These smooth talking operators have been reported to be luring unsuspecting clients with too-good-to-be-true quotes, only to spring them with extra charges once works begin. Catfish tradies also include companies who misrepresent their previous jobs with fake imagery or qualifications and then deliver shonky projects that fall well short of what clients were promised. It comes as hipages research showed Australians' confidence in tradies has eroded over time, with 66 per cent of those surveyed in a recent poll saying they struggled to find one they could trust. This lack of trust, coupled with a widespread ignorance about proper qualifications and pricing, is creating perfect waters for these Catfish Tradies to thrive, according to hipages. Homeowners caught in the web of catfishing tradies were losing thousands of dollars on projects that were substandard or didn't deliver on specifications. Relationship expert Sera Bozza said it was homeowners' lack of understanding of how to select a tradie that was creating a particularly favourable environment for catfishing behaviours. Many people still relied on gut feeling, handshakes and false recommendations for sourcing tradies, which made it easier for them to be exploited, Ms Bozza said. 'Sometimes tradies can be really charming and the homeowner will get swept up by it all,' she said. 'Often what happens is there is a lump sum quote that's given in the beginning but once they get to the job it becomes itemised. It's all added up to a total and it's a lot higher. '(Catfishing) tradies misrepresent their experience, qualifications and past work to win jobs … they offer quotes that seem too good to be true and often use misrepresented photos to seal the deal.' Ms Bozza added that a lack of knowledge about pricing exacerbated the issue. About two thirds of those polled by hipages said they were in the dark about how much hiring a tradie should cost, leaving them vulnerable to inflated invoices and hidden fees. 'About 2 million Aussies have hired the wrong tradie at some point,' Ms Bozza said, 'Platforms like hipages let tradies show reviews, but there are other ways people find tradies and without these verifications it's easy to go by just a handshake or a feeling. 'Many people don't know what they are looking for. It's essentially guesswork. And that makes it rife for catfishing.' Ms Bozza highlighted some key red flags homeowners should watch out for – many of which were similar to certain types of dating trends. These behaviours were categorised as: > Mr Unreliable: A tradie who promises to call but never does. 'Trust comes from consistency,' Ms Bozza warned. 'If they're hard to reach before the job starts, imagine how they'll handle your timeline.' > The Pick-Me Tradie: Someone who trashes other tradies to win your job. 'If they need to bag out the competition to look good, they're not the better choice,' Ms Bozza said. > The Zero Footprint: An operator with no reviews, license, or verified history. 'If you can't find anything about them online, there's a likely reason,' Ms Bozza said. > Lying About Their Height (and Their Quotes): Quoting one price and invoicing another. > The Catfish Carpenter: Photoshopped pics and work that looks nothing like promised. 'Being catfished by an unqualified tradie can leave you feeling betrayed and duped with dodgy results.' Signs of a good tradie were that they confirmed quotes and actually showed up, Ms Bozza added. They also had legitimate photos and something of an online presence with substantive reviews.
Daily Mail
10-05-2025
- Business
- Daily Mail
FLOURISHING AFTER 50: My husband's business partner is bleeding us dry and I'm scared we're going to lose our home
Dear Vanessa, I'm 58 and have been married for almost 30 years. My husband has run a business with his friend for most of that time. I've always stayed out of it - he's in charge, and I've trusted him to make good decisions. But things have changed. Over the past few years, the business has struggled. They've poured more money in, and they recently took out another loan that was secured against our home. I signed the paperwork, yes, but only at the last minute after being told it was urgent and everything would be fine. Now, I feel sick about it. I don't trust his business partner. He always seems to have an excuse for the numbers not stacking up, and I've heard him say things like 'we just need one more year'. Meanwhile, we've taken on more debt, and I have no idea what our financial position really is. I've asked my husband about it, but he gets defensive or brushes me off. He says I don't understand how business works - but what I do understand is that we've risked our home, and I didn't really grasp how far things had gone until it was too late. I'm scared. What happens if it all falls apart? I've spent my life building this home, and now it's on the line. I don't know what I can do from here. Worried Wife. Dear Worried Wife, You are right to be concerned. This isn't just a business issue - it's a shared financial future, and your security is tied up in decisions you haven't been fully part of. Many women sign documents out of trust or a sense of urgency - especially when it involves someone they love. But that doesn't mean you have to stay silent now. Here's what I strongly suggest: • Speak to a licensed financial adviser straight away. To help them give you clear guidance, prepare a full list of your assets, debts, superannuation, and anything your home is tied to including business loans and guarantees. The clearer the picture, the better they can help. • Push for transparency. Your husband might be trying to protect you from worry but shielding you from reality isn't helpful. You have every right to ask for the business's financial reports and to know how your home is being used. • Consider getting legal advice. It's worth understanding what you've signed and whether there are any protective actions you can take now to limit further exposure. • Set firm boundaries. Make it clear that no further loans or financial decisions involving your assets can be made without joint agreement in writing. You've spent nearly 30 years building a life together but now it's time to protect the next 30. Information is power. The more you gather, the more you seek advice, the clearer your path becomes - before you're forced into action by a situation you fear. If you're looking for a licensed adviser, I offer a free referral service to help connect you with someone who suits your needs. You deserve to feel safe and confident about your future - not anxious and in the dark. Take care,
The Sun
08-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
I couldn't trust my cheating boyfriend and broke down over his orgy with FOUR women but swinging saved our romance…with one unbreakable rule
AFTER years of playing the field, Mark found his soulmate in stunning blonde Tannith - but he still struggled to tame his wandering eye. Within a few weeks of getting together Mark, from Wakefield, Yorkshire had cheated - leaving Tannith with trust issues that continued as the relationship grew deeper. 9 9 Incredibly, her solution was to invite another girl into their bed - and the couple signed up to join the luxury retreat on Channel 4's Open House: The Great Sex experiment. But the first night left her in floods of tears after Mark had an orgy with FOUR other women. And it's not for the reason you might think. In an exclusive chat with The Sun, Mark, 40, said: 'Tan was really upset because she felt left out. We'd never done anything separately.' Viewers see the dog walker, 30, decide not to hook up with anyone at her mixer and head back to their room to wait for Mark. On his return, she breaks down in tears as he reveals his escapades - even though he hadn't breached any of the ground rules they'd set. 'You never know how you'll feel in those kinds of situations,' Tannith explained. 'My insecurities flared up, which I didn't expect. I just couldn't control my emotions. 'When Mark came back and broke the news, It was a lot of feelings at once.' Despite her emotional reaction, Tannith was determined not to quit the show. I was too nervous to perform in the bedroom and thought my eight-year relationship was over - but an orgy with FIVE strangers gave us a new spark 9 She continued: "I knew we could make non-monogamy work for us. I didn't want to give up on the experiment. 'For us, going off and doing things separately doesn't really fit with how we are. We're a very close couple. 'We've come out stronger than ever because of what we went through. It appealed to me because often relationships go stale or people are dishonest and go behind each other's backs. This kind of lifestyle takes that away. Mark, Open House guest 'Our communication and trust is better than any relationship I've ever been in.' Mark admitted he didn't expect such a tearful reaction from his partner and says it was the 'worst part of my experience.' He added: 'It's hard because in there you can't communicate with your partner to check things are ok. The residents can, but we weren't able to.' For most people, their partner having an orgy would end a relationship, but the pair insists they never thought the show would cause a split. 'I don't think it was every going to break us because we were seeing it as an experiment, we knew what we'd signed up for,' Tannith explained. The couple have seen the previous two series after she suggested swinging to Mark, in a bid to make the romance work. Shock invite 9 9 Laughing, Mark added: 'We never expected to hear anything back from it. "It appealed to me because often relationships go stale or people are dishonest and go behind each other's backs. 'This kind of lifestyle takes that away. We speak openly about everything and there's no dishonesty. It's been perfect for us.' As part of the show, the couple spent a couple of hours with non-monogomy therapist Effy who counselled them through their difficult first night. During the sessions, Tannith realised she spent a lot of time trying to please other people rather than focusing on herself. As a result, the couple were challenged to let Tannith choose someone for them to have a threesome with on their final night. She selected French stunner Marie after spending time building up courage and getting encouragement from her other half. 'I was proud to be making decisions for both of us, listening to what I wanted,' Tannith said. 'I'm quite shy normally, so it was making me very nervous going round and speaking to people. "I picked Marie because she was really kind, plus I speak French from living there for nine years. 'We spent a lot of time getting to know her before going all the way.' Lasting connection 9 9 Since their threesome on the show, the couple have attended a few local swinger parties and Tannith adds: "We don't always do something at the parties. We really enjoy the connections we make and the friendships that come from it." The one rule for each encounter is that they never "play" separately and the choice of partner is chosen together. The couple have also continued to meet up with some of the residents of the house, mainly Chelle who lives nearby in Yorkshire. Tannith said: 'We've built a really good bond with her. You don't have to do anything or everything each time you see someone.' That bond has been intensified as the couple are expecting a baby, due in August, and single mum Chelle has been giving them plenty of advice. It also means that for now, the couple have put swinging on ice until after the pregnancy. Gazing at Tannith, Mark told me: 'I couldn't imagine a better person to bring our child into the world.' Open House: The Great Sex Experiment airs from Friday on Channel 4 at 10pm and available for streaming. 9
Times
08-05-2025
- Business
- Times
How to date if you're a CEO — five bosses share their horror stories
D ating as a CEO is difficult and the top of the corporate ladder can be a fretful, lonely place. There are the obvious pressures of running a company and finding time for love amid a calendar that's chockful of unromantic appointments. And when it comes to meeting that new special someone, there are some serious trust issues to overcome — the nagging thought that your new suitor might be a gold-digger, the delicate matter of asking a date to sign a nondisclosure agreement or, much later, a prenup. A bad relationship might not just break hearts, it could damage reputations and profits. The modern dating landscape is dominated by apps, but many of these are unsuitable for business leaders who wish to keep a low
