Breaking the silence on mental health: how to have those difficult conversations

IOL News

13-05-2025

Despite growing awareness around mental wellness, talking about it remains a challenge.
Image: Antoni Shkraba Studio/Pexels
You may have a friend who seems unusually quiet or a family member who's withdrawn.
You want to ask them how they're feeling, but you hesitate, afraid it might be awkward or intrusive.
Sound familiar? For many, this scenario is all too common when it comes to discussing mental health.
Despite growing awareness around mental wellness, talking about it remains a challenge.
Why is mental health so hard to talk about?
In South Africa, mental health is often clouded by stigma.
According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), up to 1 in 6 South Africans suffer from anxiety, depression, or substance use disorders, yet many never seek help.
Why? Talking about mental health is frequently seen as a sign of weakness or failure.
Cultural beliefs also play a role.
In some communities, mental illness is misunderstood, often attributed to spiritual causes or dismissed as a lack of resilience.
A 2022 study by the Human Sciences Research Council highlighted that 70% of South Africans associate mental illness with social stigma, making it harder for individuals to seek help or confide in others.
Economic inequality further complicates the issue.
In a country where over 55% of the population lives in poverty, many prioritise survival over mental well-being.
For instance, it's not uncommon for someone struggling with depression to dismiss their symptoms, saying, 'There's no time to be sad; I need to put food on the table.'
Why does talking about mental health matter?
Despite these barriers, discussing mental health is essential.
Open conversations can lead to early intervention, reducing the severity of mental health issues.
Moreover, they help normalise seeking help, breaking the cycle of stigma.
Studies show that social support significantly improves mental health outcomes.
A 2021 report by SADAG found that individuals who talk about their struggles are more likely to seek professional help, adhere to treatment, and experience better recovery rates.
Mental health struggles are deeply personal, and dismissive comments can do more harm than good.
Image: Nappy/Pexels
How to start the conversation
Talking about mental health doesn't have to be daunting. Here are some practical tips:
1. Start small and casual
If diving straight into a conversation about mental health feels intimidating, begin with something lighter.
Ask your friend or loved one how they're doing in general.
For example, 'How's work been lately?' or 'How are things at home?' This approach creates a safe space for them to open up.
2. Acknowledge their struggles
If you know someone is going through a tough time, whether it's job loss, grief, or trauma, acknowledge it.
Say something like, 'I've noticed you've been quieter than usual. I want you to know I'm here if you need to talk.' This validates their feelings without being intrusive.
3. Offer practical support
Acts of kindness can facilitate deeper conversations.
Offer to help with practical tasks, such as picking up groceries or assisting with childcare.
These gestures show that you care and can create opportunities for deeper conversations.
4. Avoid judgemental language
Mental health struggles are deeply personal, and dismissive comments can do more harm than good.
Avoid phrases like 'You're overreacting' or 'Just snap out of it.'
Instead, use empathetic language such as, 'I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.'
5. Ask open-ended questions
Rather than offering advice, ask questions that invite the person to share their feelings.
For example, 'What can I do to support you?' or 'What do you think would help you feel better?' This empowers them to express their needs.
6. Be patient
Sometimes, people aren't ready to talk, and that's okay. Let them know you're available when they're ready.
\A simple message like, 'I'm here if you ever want to chat,' can make a big difference.
Local resources for mental health support
We live in a country with limited access to mental health services, but organisations like SADAG and Lifeline offer free or low-cost support. Encourage your loved ones to reach out to these resources: SADAG (South African Depression and Anxiety Group): 24-hour helpline at 0800 456 789.
Lifeline South Africa: Call 0861 322 322 for confidential support.
LoveLife: Aimed at youth mental health, they offer counselling at 083 323 1023.
Community-based initiatives, such as peer support groups in townships and rural areas, also play a crucial role in bridging the mental health gap.
Mental health is a journey, not a destination.
By starting conversations, we can help normalise mental wellness and create a culture of understanding and support.
Mental health is something we all have, and taking care of it is a collective responsibility.