Alan Takahashi on Love, Labels and Life After The Boyfriend

Tokyo Weekender

3 days ago

This article appeared in Tokyo Weekender Vol. 2, 2025.
To read the entire issue, click
here
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When Netflix released
The Boyfriend
, Japan's first same-sex dating program, it became an overnight sensation, praised for its honesty, slow-burn romances and lovable cast. One of its breakout stars was Alan Takahashi, a Brazilian-Japanese IT worker with an infectiously positive personality and a 1,000-watt smile. Although he joined the cast later in the season — in the third episode, to be precise — Takahashi's presence immediately became a focal point of the show, thanks to his ice-breaking extroversion and willingness to wear his heart on his sleeve.
With
The Boyfriend
's sudden success, the cast members have seen themselves catapulted into the spotlight, put in the lofty yet precarious position of representing the LGBTQ community in a country where that representation lags behind. Takahashi's life has changed significantly — on social media, he can be seen dancing with his co-star, the jet-setting go-go dancer Usak; attending fashion events; modeling for various brands; and even MCing at Japan's national qualifier for Miss International Queen, the world's largest transgender beauty pageant. And he's moved to Tokyo from Nagoya.
Despite his sudden shift into the limelight, the 30-year-old remains as warm, open and engaging as he appears on TV. As his stint on
The Boyfriend
revealed, remarkable emotional depth lies underneath Takahashi's blinding charm, the result of a life spent not quite fitting in yet continuously finding the strength to be himself.
A Childhood Between Cultures
Takahashi was born in Brazil and moved to Japan at the age of 2, raised mostly by his single mother, a Nikkei Brazilian (a Brazilian of Japanese descent). They lived in Nagoya, part of a community of dekasegi — a term often used to refer to Nikkei people, especially those from Brazil or Peru, who migrate to Japan for work. So, despite living most of his life in Japan, Takahashi grew up surrounded by Brazilian culture and language, using Japanese only in school. 'I really feel like half-Japanese, half-Brazilian is the best way to describe myself,' he says. 'The values of both cultures that I treasure are very much alive inside of me.'
Takahashi has had a bubbly personality and a slight mischievous streak his whole life, traits that weren't always accepted by the conformist society of Japan. 'I liked running around outside and climbing trees. I was called the Tarzan of Higashiura-cho [my neighborhood],' Takahashi recalls.
He continues, still smiling, 'I overheard my classmates' parents telling their kids to stay away from me because I was different, and some teachers didn't like me, even though I never felt like I was doing anything wrong. I was excluded and bullied for how I looked and talked, and there were times when being raised by two cultures was tough. But I was always guided by my love for expressing myself, my love for music and dance, my love for Brazil.'
In hindsight, Takahashi realizes much of his community was rooting for him as well. 'A lot of Brazilian parents from my neighborhood really supported me. The Nikkei kids in my school didn't want to be bullied and adapted to the Japanese lifestyle, but a lot of adults around me appreciated how I stuck with my heritage. There were times when I felt lonely, but as an adult, I realized I was never alone.'
The Alan Effect
Takahashi continued living in Nagoya, close to his mom and his younger sister, into adulthood. When he was cast in
The Boyfriend
at age 28, he was a full-time office worker. Joining a reality show — especially one that focused so closely on intimate relationships — was far out of his comfort zone, but it was a challenge he wanted to try.
The Boyfriend
follows nine men between the ages of 22 and 36 as they share a house and go on dates. They have a modest daily allowance, which they can augment with money they earn at a coffee truck they operate together. As in many dating shows, the cast lived in their own bubble for the duration of filming. 'Living isolated with a group of strangers for a month with the intention of wanting romance, that'll be broadcast on Netflix for the whole world … I was quite nervous, and I got in my head a lot.'
The Boyfriend
is mild and wholesome compared to its Western counterparts — the relationships generally progress slowly and cautiously, and the men mainly get to know each other through a series of polite conversations and shared moments working alongside each other in the coffee truck. Takahashi's entrance stirred things up; from the moment he appeared, the atmosphere changed. In contrast to his castmates, he vocalized his feelings quickly and pursued his love interest in a very direct way. He was immediately interested in Kazuto, a mild-mannered chef who was particularly popular among the show's participants, going so far as to describe his attraction as 'love at first sight.'
'I think the way I get close to people was different from some of my castmates, and I'm sure my castmates at first didn't know how to interact with me. I learned a lot about paying attention to the people around me and being careful with the timing in which I tell people my feelings,' he reflects.
He wasn't just straightforward in his romantic efforts; he also discussed, openly and candidly, the struggles he faced growing up in Japan with a single mother. In one scene, he describes his father's arrest when he was 6 years old, recounting that he was tasked with taking care of his younger sister. 'That's all I have,' he says, smiling sadly. 'That promise is the only connection I have with my dad.'
Takahashi has found the public's response to his arc on the show to be overwhelmingly positive, which has helped him feel understood. 'I realized there are a lot of people like me in the world. I received a lot of warm comments about how people found a new perspective on life or how they could relate to my actions on the show,' he says.
A Lesson in Kindness
Although Takahashi didn't leave with a new boyfriend, the experience helped him see himself in a new light. Given his confidence and ease in approaching others, he often became a sounding board or confidante for other members — for instance, college student Dai, who came to him with frustrations about his relationship with the mysterious artist Shun. In the scene, Takahashi advises him to speak directly to his love interest, without worrying about what might happen or fretting about others' opinions, and to be kind and forgiving, both to himself and to Shun.
'Kindness truly has magical powers,' he says, wiping away a tear. 'Grab Shun's hand and go talk to him right now. I think it's an important time.' This scene left commentators on the show struck by Takahashi's empathy and warmth.
'Watching the show back, I realized the words I gave people were things I needed to hear myself,' he muses. 'It makes me happy that those kind words are documented forever on Netflix, and it was a reminder that I should give myself the kindness that I give easily to other people.'
He continues, 'I feel like I've been looking for allies my whole life, trying to improve myself so I can be surrounded by people who understand me. But now, I learned how to simply appreciate the people who accept me for exactly who I am. I think it's taken a lot of pressure off of me, and it's a kinder world to live in.'
Evident from his unapologetic persona on the show, Takahashi has always had a knack for expressing himself completely, without trying to conform to expectations. At the root of this is a desire to be seen — and understood — fully. His queerness has been very public since his time on
The Boyfriend
, but he doesn't always appreciate the hyperfixation on his sexuality. 'Why do I have to be identified by the people I like? I don't like labels and being put into a box. I'm just a human trying to be happy.'
It's clear Takahashi has spent a lot of time thinking about Japanese society, where his open-minded and flexible nature doesn't always conform to the societal norm of rule-following and respecting tradition. 'I want Japan to nurture the strengths it already has while looking at the world more. Japanese leaders can learn a lot from other cultures, and I think it would make Japan less fixed in its ways,' he affirms.
'Whether it's more freedom in education, clothing or self-expression, I think it's important to teach Japanese kids it's alright to be themselves. I want Japanese education to not make ideas black and white, but show the whole rainbow between.'
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