'I thought Tourette's was about swearing'
Yasmin Bartle was 20 when she was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. As part of Tourette's Awareness Month, she opened up about how a shopping trip led to a confrontation.
As a child, Ms Bartle said she had "a few little quirks" including involuntary arm movements and making whistling noises.
"There was a peak when I was probably around 10 or 11 and we were going through SATs [primary school exams]."
Ms Bartle said the symptoms became less frequent until she contracted meningitis in 2019, an infection that affects the brain and spinal cord, according to the NHS.
"We [the family] noticed these little things were becoming more frequent," she said.
On one occasion, she said she was queuing in a shop and suddenly threw a bottle across the store.
"I was so shocked because I didn't know where it had come from or what had just happened," she said.
"My arm was always flying out to the side and I had a lot of head and neck tics and a few little noises."
Ms Bartle was initially diagnosed with tics before being told she had Tourette Syndrome a year later.
The 25-year-old from Hull said she was confused and "in denial."
She said, like many people, she thought Tourette's was about swearing and she did not swear.
"I was embarrassed and I hardly left my house," she said.
On another occasion, Ms Bartle was in a grocery store and called out "alcoholic".
She said another customer thought she was referring to them because they had a bottle in their hand and it escalated into an argument.
She said: "I'm trying to say I have Tourette Syndrome. I'm really sorry and they didn't believe me."
Ms Bartle said things began to improve for her when she said she was taken to a support group run by the TIC Yorkshire charity in Hull.
"I realised, actually, there are a lot more people here that are a lot more like me and going through what I'm going through," she said.
A year after being introduced to the charity, Ms Bartle became a volunteer. She said she wanted to challenge misconceptions about the condition.
She said, when the charity tells people their child may be experiencing tics or Tourette's, parents feel relieved their child does not swear.
Coprolalia, which, according to the NHS, is an involuntary use of obscene words or socially inappropriate remarks, is not the worst symptom, she added.
Ms Bartle, who has written a book about the condition, said it was the mental tics, the compulsions and pain that most people with Tourette's would rather take away.
She said it was important to research and understand the condition and urged those suffering to reach out for help.
Tourette's Awareness Month takes place between 15 May and 15 June. This year's theme is being misunderstood due to public perceptions often shaped by stigma, jokes, and misinformation.
According to the NHS, tics are fast, repetitive muscle movements that result in sudden and difficult to control body jolts or sounds.
Tourette's Syndrome is a term that is used when tics have lasted for more than a year.
According to the charity Tourette's Action, the condition affects one school child in every one hundred and is more common among boys. It says over 300,000 children and adults are living with the condition in the UK.
Listen to highlights from Hull and East Yorkshire on BBC Sounds, watch the latest episode of Look North or tell us about a story you think we should be covering here.
'I was commonly told I was faking my Tourette's'
'Ticket kiosk closure could trigger my Tourette's'
NHS
T.I.C. Yorkshire
Tourette's Action
BBC Action Line
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
8 Subtle Ways Parents Create Anxiety Without Realizing It
Anxiety isn't just an adult issue. Clinical research indicates that millions of children struggle with anxiety symptoms, with a recent analysis putting the number as high as 20.5% of youth worldwide. 'Sometimes anxiety can be hard to pinpoint as kids can manifest anxiety in different ways,' said Dr. Khadijah Booth Watkins, associate director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital. 'This can be due to many factors such as the type of anxiety they're experiencing, their age, or their language skills.' While some kids experience physical symptoms like stomachaches, racing heartbeats and headaches, others exhibit emotional responses like increased tantrums or clinginess. Still, others become withdrawn and stop participating in activities or engaging with peers. Even if you do not intend to create anxiety, some common behaviors and comments from parents can make kids feel anxious. Below, experts break down some parenting approaches that foster anxiety. 'Because of the uncomfortable sensation anxiety produces in the body, a child experiencing anxiety will most often develop avoidant behaviors,' said parenting educator Laura Linn Knight. 'The child will avoid the thing that makes them uncomfortable, which may start off with a small avoidance but grow larger over time.' For example, if your child is anxious about leaving you to go to school, that feeling might manifest as a fear of taking the bus. 'The child thinks that if mom or dad drives them to school, they will feel less anxious about leaving them, but quickly discovers that even though they were driven to school, the anxiety still remains,' she explained. 'The child may then ask that mom or dad walk them to their classroom door, with the hopes that this will make them less anxious.' This avoidance creates more anxiety and can wreak havoc on a child's self-confidence. 'Parents unintentionally perpetuate the cycle of anxiety by helping a child to avoid the things they are afraid of,' Knight said. 'Most parents don't intentionally do this, but because anxiety often demands to be heard, and a child becomes very vocal or shuts down verbally and physically with the feeling of anxiety, a parent wants to avoid difficult behavior and thus helps avoid triggers.' Instead, parents should focus on cultivating resilience and allowing their children to face their fears with the knowledge that they have a support system behind them. 'Changing behavior to actively participate in our children's avoidance or reduction of their anxiety prevents them from developing the necessary healthy coping skills,' Booth Watkins said. 'In this way, we are engaging in over-accommodation, thereby fueling the anxiety. The goal is not to take away all discomfort and distress, but to strike the balance of empathy, validation, and support with a little nudge and a lot of encouragement.' 'We have to remember that our kids are quite attuned to what is going on with us as their caregivers,' Booth Watkins said. 'They are both listening to our words and paying close attention to our body language. If we are struggling with anxiety ourselves, we have to be deliberate in managing our stress and distress, and model healthy coping skills and strategies which will be key in you helping your child manage their anxiety.' Just as you need to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others, you should address your own anxiety struggles to support your children through theirs. 'When our anxiety is not well-managed, and our kids have too much exposure to it, we can unintentionally teach them to be afraid or communicate that situations or scenarios are to be feared because we fear them,' Booth Watkins said. Of course, perfection is not the goal, and parents should not try to suppress any anxious feelings or emotions. Instead, use these moments as opportunities to share what you're going through in age-appropriate ways. 'It is OK to talk to your children about your anxiety, and if your child is experiencing anxiety, it may be helpful for them to know that they are not alone and that you understand what they are going through,' Booth Watkins said. 'Most importantly, it lets them know that they do not have to suffer in silence and that you are here to help.' When an anxiety-provoking situation arises around your family, try to practice self-regulation. For example, explain to your children that you're taking a deep breath or doing a certain activity to manage and overcome your anxiety. 'Anxiety is a normal part of life,' said Keneisha Sinclair-McBride, a clinical psychologist at Boston Children's Hospital in Massachusetts. 'Everyone needs coping strategies for it. One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to help your child learn the unique toolkit of skills that helps them deal with anxiety.' Talking about feelings can be uncomfortable, especially when difficult emotions arise, but it's crucial for parents to encourage these conversations. 'Allow room for your child to feel worried, anxious or nervous,' recommended pediatric psychologist and parenting coach Ann-Louise Lockhart. 'Since they may not be fully aware of what they feel or what it means, then name that feeling based on what you observe ― 'It looks like you feel really uncomfortable with getting in the water' or 'You're pacing back and forth because you feel scared about going inside the classroom' or 'You feel nervous about going to the party without me there.'' The next step is to validate those emotions by saying something like, 'I get it. That makes sense to me. Some people feel that way and need some time, and others jump right in and do it while scared.' Then, try to brainstorm a solution together. Make it clear that you're there to support and encourage your child without simply solving the problem for them. Alvin Thomas, an assistant professor of human development and family studies at the University of Wisconsin–Madison, also emphasized the importance of talking about your emotions as a parent. This approach prevents your children from making up anxiety-based stories to explain why the adults around them are behaving differently. 'It is OK, for instance, to say to your child that dad is feeling a little sad or a little frustrated,' he explained. 'It expands the child's emotional vocabulary, teaches them to talk through their emotions, and models for them how to do this. Then you could go on to give age-appropriate reasoning. Dad is feeling frustrated because dad was really hoping for something, but it did not happen.' As a parent, you can then share some coping mechanisms you plan to use to deal with your difficult emotions ― whether it's meditation and deep breathing or planning a fun activity to take your mind off things for a bit. 'A lot of times, we trigger anxiety in children when we are overly cautious,' said clinical psychologist and author Jenny Yip. 'If we're constantly telling them to be careful, we're constantly warning them about danger.' Saying things like, 'be careful, you're going to fall,' creates hesitancy in children, which can be helpful in small doses depending on the child, but it isn't necessary to repeat all the time. Instead, pay attention to how often you give your children warnings and focus on helping them understand why something is dangerous. 'For example, don't jump off the table because, No. 1, tables are not for jumping off of, and this is not a playground,' Yip explained. 'No. 2, the floor is really hard. So if you injure yourself on the floor, we're gonna have some difficulty here, and we might need to go to the ER.' These moments of explanation can foster an open dialogue and make it clear they can also come to you with any concerns. 'Refrain from fear messages like, 'Smoking will give you cancer, disfigure your face, and kill you!' or 'If you start smoking, I'll ground you for life!'' said Kristene Geering, the director of education at Parent Lab. 'Try educational, reasoning messages ― 'Smoking has been linked to a lot of health issues. Your grandma died from cancer linked to smoking. I love you and want you to be healthy ― please don't start smoking. I'm happy to talk more with you if you have questions.'' Explaining your rationale to your children allows them to understand different issues and build the confidence to make their own intelligent judgments. Giving them the tools to arrive at solutions and face challenges on their own is more valuable than inundating them with a list of all the dangers in the world. 'A lot of my patients feel anxious about disappointing their parents if they are not the absolute best at just about everything,' Sinclair-McBride said. 'I think we should definitely praise our kids and give them affirmation regarding the areas in which they shine, but I also think it's important to praise effort and remind your child that they are good, loved, and important to you no matter what.' Examine the expectations you place on your children and whether or not they're realistic. Adjusting your perspective may require some personal soul-searching. 'The first place team and the last place team both have amazing, wonderful, lovable kids on them,' Sinclair-McBride said. 'The high school senior that gets deferred from their top school still has a lot to be proud of and can still have an amazing college experience.' Research has shown the benefits of focusing on effort rather than the outcome. This removes a lot of harmful pressure and helps kids know they're good enough, even if they don't excel at everything. 'Start praising the effort the child has put in ― 'I saw you studying last night ― you are really working hard on that project' or, 'You've been practicing every single night no matter what!'' Geering advised. 'I am also a fan of radical acceptance, of letting your child know that you love and accept them no matter what. You may not be happy about a particular behavior or decision at the moment, but you still love and accept them as a person. That increases that sense of safety, which can help reduce their anxiety.' 'Asking a lot of leading questions can make kids anxious,' Sinclair-McBride said. 'Saying, 'Are you nervous because none of your best friends will be at camp?' kind of implies that they should be nervous.' Resist the urge to word vomit all the things you think might make your child feel anxious, as this will likely exacerbate negative emotions or create new worries that didn't even occur to them previously. In her example, Sinclair-McBride suggested saying, 'I know that you will be going to the first week of camp in July solo. What do you think you or I could do to make that more fun for you?' 'You could then help your child role-play introducing themselves to other campers or remind them about the cool activities they will do,' she added. 'You might realize you are more anxious than your child! This approach allows you to be more solution-focused instead of feeding your child a feeling ― you're feeling.' Child psychologists often point to four main parenting styles ― neglectful, authoritarian, authoritative and permissive ― that influence how children grow and interact. 'Authoritarian style parenting tends to cause anxiety,' Lockhart said. 'This occurs when there are too many rigid rules in the home. Punishments like yelling, spanking and grounding are the go-to strategies to correct behavior, and there is little warmth and connection between the parent and the child.' She noted that kids in homes with authoritarian parents often feel unsafe making mistakes because their caregivers overreact and overcorrect. Thus, there's much anxiety about doing everything just right. 'Many kids who grow up in these homes may become perfectionistic to make their parents proud, to avoid punishment, and to establish their identity as 'the good kid,'' Lockhart added. Parents convey ideas to their children through what they say and do in their presence. Try to avoid sending mixed messages, which can fuel a sense of uncertainty and anxiety. 'I get this a lot from parents who say to their children, 'I want you to really enjoy taking this time being a kid,'' Yip explained. 'Then they follow up by saying, 'Have you studied for your SAT yet? That's really important to do. You really need to get on studying with your SAT because the deadline is approaching, and if you don't get on it, this is your last opportunity.'' She urged parents to mean what they say and stay true to their intentions when delivering a message. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, with 24/7 academics or 24/7 enjoying being a kid. 'Say something like, 'Your SATs are coming up, and that needs to be a priority. I want you to be able to find some way to balance your time and prioritize what is most important to focus your attention on,'' Yip suggested. 'That message tells you that their time is valuable. There are important things on their priority list that require their attention. This empowers kids to take ownership of their own journey without feeling like I have to do X, Y, and Z because my parents want me to do X, Y, and Z.' 11 Ways Parents Make Their Kids Feel Guilty Without Realizing It How Child Psychologists Deal With Their Own Children's Anxiety How To Maintain Your Friendships If You're Dealing With Anxiety Or Depression
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
7 Relationship Habits That Secretly May Be Signs Of ADHD
Do you find it difficult to focus on a task when your partner is talking to you? Do you go to bed much later than your partner? Do you take comments from your partner personally, even when they don't mean to criticize you? While everyone in relationships may experience these scenarios, when they happen often or to an extreme, they can be signs of ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder). ADHD 'is not just a deficit of attention or someone being hyperactive … [it's] very much about self-management.' said Dr. Lidia Zylowska, associate professor at the University of Minnesota School of Medicine and author of 'The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD.' 'It's really a different way of experiencing … or reacting to the world.' ADHD affects a person's executive functions, which are skills in the brain that help plan, organize, prioritize, complete tasks and regulate emotions. 'All of these play into relationships and … dynamics between couples,' explained Sharon Saline, a clinical psychologist who specializes in ADHD. '[And] sometimes the partner who doesn't have ADHD assumes that the partner who does have ADHD is doing things on purpose that they're not [intentionally] doing.' It's important for both partners to understand each other so they can have compassion and build a strong relationship, Zylowska added. We talked to therapists about habits in relationships that could be signs of ADHD — and tips for both partners for working through their differences: You may have 'challenges with emotional regulation, [such as] losing your temper, being overwhelmed by anxiety [or] having big feelings that you struggle to rein in,' Saline said. This includes a 'low frustration tolerance,' explained Terry Matlen, psychotherapist, founder of ADDConsults and author of 'The Queen of Distraction.' For example, you may have a tantrum about something that seems trivial, like losing the TV remote. 'This can … cause … friction and anger in the [other] partner and embarrassment in the person with ADHD,' she said. It's important to recognize what your triggers are and how you respond to them, she advised. 'Instead of acting … out in ways that can hurt others, give yourself a timeout,' she said. 'Head to the bathroom or other quiet space, [and] talk it out to yourself: 'I'm really angry/upset/hurt because ….'' Deep breathing, taking a warm bath or journaling also can help you calm down. 'If it's too late and you've lost control, apologize to your partner and make a plan for how to manage this moving forward,' she said. A lot of people who have ADHD may experience rejection sensitive dysphoria, which is a 'hypersensitivity to rejection or negative feedback like criticism,' explained Billy Roberts, founder and clinical director of Focused Mind ADHD Counseling. 'You may be actually quite sensitive to how you are scanning and noticing what's happening in the relationship,' Zylowska said. The person with ADHD may perceive that someone is trying to hurt or reject them, even when that's not necessarily happening, Matlen added. The person who doesn't have ADHD may 'tiptoe around their partner' because they're afraid of hurting their feelings. The person with ADHD may shut down because they're anticipating rejection or overact when their partner really isn't trying to criticize, Roberts said. Just being aware of the fact that this can happen when you have ADHD and being able to talk about this with your partner can make a difference, he advised. You could say something like, 'I got the impression that you were mad at me when I said that I couldn't pick up the laundry. Can we talk through that?' Roberts explained. Also ask yourself, 'Am I inferring tone here … or did [my partner] explicitly criticize me?' While it can come from impulsivity, 'people with ADHD [may also] interrupt because they got really excited about something that they just heard,' said Marcy Caldwell, clinical psychologist and founder and director of The Center For ADHD. But the other partner may be thinking, 'You didn't care about what I had to say.' It can be helpful when the person with ADHD owns their behavior and says something like, 'I know I interrupt a lot, and I'm really sorry. … How does it feel to you?' she said. And explain the reason behind the behavior, whether you are wanting to add to what they're saying or don't want to forget something. There also are behavioral tips that work for some people to help them not interrupt, like sitting on their hands or writing a thought down instead of saying it verbally, she said. Matlen also recommends looking at the person's lips while they are talking to hold their attention. 'It engages more than one of our senses: visual and audio,' she said. 'Using a fidget can also work wonders to keep your mind sharp and attentive.' If the partner with ADHD is hyper-focused on something, they may have a difficult time being pulled away from that, Caldwell explained. 'Let's say the ADHD person is writing or working on something and the partner comes in to ask a quick question, that can lead to some irritability or … [the partner feeling completely ignored],' Caldwell said. 'It just is really hard for an ADHD brain to be taken off task.' She recommends that the person with ADHD use a visual cue when they need to focus, such as wearing headphones or closing the door. Explain to your partner that's a sign to please not interrupt you unless it's an emergency or something time-sensitive. Someone with ADHD may have a hard time feeling internally motivated to do a task or goal if it's not interesting or feels particularly overwhelming, Roberts explained. Their partner may perceive it as that they are intentionally not doing a task, but in reality, their brains are just processing it differently. 'A neurotypical brain tends to be motivated by important things and by priorities, [like] it's important to do the dishes at the end of the night,' Caldwell said, adding that someone with ADHD tends 'to be motivated by competition, novelty, interest and pressure.' For example, someone may wait until 'there are no clean dishes and then it feels important to clean.' Have a conversation with your partner about what they like to do and do well, and take that into account when you're both deciding how to divide up household tasks, Saline said. For instance, maybe one partner likes to cook while the other prefers to handle maintenance of the house. Using apps that gamify chores and setting reminder notifications also can help both partners stay on track, Caldwell added. Someone with ADHD often feels 'like evening is the time … to catch up on everything,' Zylowska said. 'When they do get in bed … they may have trouble unwinding and listen to music, scroll through their phone or watch TV.' This can cause issues if their partner goes to bed earlier and is a light sleeper or really cares about going to bed at the same time as their partner. 'The … partner may feel isolated and lonely, [and] sexual relations may become sporadic,' Matlen said. 'The noise of an active, awake partner [also] can create sleep issues for the [other person].' Matlen recommends setting time before bed to cuddle together, even if each partner goes to sleep at a different time. If the night owl is disturbing the sleep of the other person, some couples may decide on separate bedrooms and connect other times throughout the day. Or if it's important for them to be in bed at the same time, one person could use headphones or a reading light while the other sleeps, Zylowska said. 'Finding ways to accept each other's rhythms versus trying to force them out of it is the way to go,' Matlen said. 'The spontaneity, intensity and fun that [a person with ADHD] can bring to you as a couple can be incredibly refreshing,' Matlen said. For example, the person with ADHD may always be looking for creative date ideas or new hobbies to try with their partner, Caldwell said. Or maybe they suggest spontaneous ways to spice up their romance, like a foot massage or taking a bubble bath, Matlen added. '[Usually] we partner with people who bring something different than what we [do],' Caldwell said. And having an appreciation for this and how your strengths complement each other is an important foundation for a healthy relationship. 'Tossing' Could Be A Potential Sign Of ADHD. Do You Do It? 12 Things Not To Say To Someone Who Has ADHD We Have ADHD. These Are The Apps We Swear By.
Yahoo
2 hours ago
- Yahoo
Water cremation and human composting could be offered instead of traditional funerals
Water cremation and human composting could soon be offered as an alternative to traditional funerals. A Law Commission consultation is proposing legal approval of new methods beyond burial, cremation, and the rarely used burial at sea. The paper published earlier this week highlights two methods used in other countries - alkaline hydrolysis and human composting. Alkaline hydrolysis - also known as water cremation or resomation - involves placing a person's body into woollen shroud or other organic pouch, using water, alkaline chemicals, heat and pressure to break down the tissue. The resulting liquid is checked and treated if necessary to enter the wastewater system, while remaining pieces of bone and teeth are dried and can be ground to a powder and scattered like ashes. Water cremation, which mimics the process of natural decomposition when someone is buried, takes between four and 14 hours. The method, which has been suggested as a greener alternative to traditional cremation, was used for the bodies of five dead people in 2019, as part of a study facilitated by Middlesex and Sheffield universities. Anti-apartheid campaigner Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who died in 2021, chose resomation for his own funeral in South Africa. Read more: Co-op Funeralcare said it hoped to offer the service in the UK in 2023 but backed out because of the current regulations. The firm welcomed the Law Commission review, which will run until spring next year, ending in a final report and draft Bill. New funerary methods are not currently regulated, other than by more general legislation such as environmental and planning laws. Provisional proposals suggest a legal framework to enable new methods to be regulated in the future. A Co-op Funeralcare spokesperson said: "At Co-op Funeralcare, we are committed to serving the needs of our member-owners and clients and offering the most sustainable and affordable services. "In 2023, we announced our ambition to pilot resomation in the UK, and we subsequently worked closely with government to explore the regulatory requirements to introduce this service across the nation. "However, we did not proceed with this as, at the time, we were unable to find a path through the current regulatory framework. "We welcome the Law Commission's review and encourage exploration into alternative methods that provide consumers with greater choice and deliver environmental benefits." The consultation paper also highlights human composting, where a body is placed into a sealed chamber, or vessel, with carbon-rich organic matter, such as straw and wood chips, to enable quicker decomposition. The process takes around two to three months and resulting soil can be returned to bereaved loved ones. Other methods involving the freezing of human remains have also been suggested, although none have them are yet viable, according to the paper.
