Doctor behind 80-year happiness study was ‘shocked' by the biggest predictor of a long, healthy life
Speaking at the inaugural New York Times Well Festival on Wednesday, psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Robert Waldinger announced he and his team were 'shocked' by 'the biggest predictor of who was going to live long and stay healthy.'
Waldinger, the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development — the longest-running scientific study of adult life — revealed it was 'how connected you were to other people and particularly the warmth of your connection to other people.'
Apparently, the researchers were floored by these findings.
'How could our relationships actually get into our bodies and actually change our physiology?' Waldinger mused.
'The best hypothesis is that it has to do with stress, that in fact relationships — when they're good — are stress relievers.'
After all, how we feel does manifest itself physically — you can feel your pulse begin to race and your breathing quicken when something upsetting or anxiety-inducing happens, and the opposite is true when you calm down, he explained.
Having someone to vent to, as it turns out, plays a pretty big role in that.
'People who don't have connections with other people, those people don't have the same stress regulation mechanisms in their lives that people with good relationships have,' Waldinger said.
The secret sauce is recognizing that it's not enough to have relationships — you need to cultivate them as you would a garden.
Most of us don't expect to be physically fit without putting some work into it — why would relationships be any different?
'The people who were best at relationships were the people who were actively involved in staying in touch with people, people who really nurtured their relationships,' he said. 'Most of us take our relationships for granted.'
He went so far as to say people who are intentional about keeping in touch and fostering relationships had a 'superpower' that 'went under the radar.'
The best part is you don't need to plan an elaborate trip or book a bonding activity to get the benefits. Little things, like actually making eye contact with the barista making your coffee or — heaven forbid — the TSA agent checking your passport, give us 'little hits of well-being,' according to Waldinger.
It's the latest appeal from an increasing number of experts reminding people that social connection is a fundamental part of being human — and an essential aspect of good health.
A recent study even identified socializing as one of the six factors you can control that lower the risk of dementia, stroke and depression — adding to existing research indicating it's a boon for longevity.
It seems that's easy to forget in today's increasingly virtual world, as psychotherapist Kathryn Smerling previously told The Post she prescribes 'socialization very often' to her clients.
Elsewhere in the NYT talk, Waldinger noted that our culture may not always steer us in the right direction when it comes to happiness.
'These badges of achievement that we all set out for ourselves — money, awards, followers on social media — those badges of achievement are quantifiable, so they look like they're gonna make us happy, but they don't,' he said.
'The culture can sell us this idea that if we just do all the right things, we'll be happy all the time,' he added. 'That is not true. Nobody is happy all the time.'
That said, next time you want to feel like a superhero — try calling your mom.
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Boston Globe
20 minutes ago
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Why is Martha's Vineyard going vegan? It's because of the ticks.
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New York Post
a day ago
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How sleeping with your earrings in can age you prematurely: dermatologist warning
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New York Post
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Parents pack survival kits for college-bound kids — Narcan, Plan B included
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Advertisement It's a serious topic of discussion among older folks with chickadees poised to leave the nest. From Facebook mom groups to viral TikTok clips, 'college survival kits' with the miracle medication are all the rage — along with contraception pills and other grown-up adds. 8 Sophia Green and her mom, Jamie, went viral after revealing the Narcan and Plan B pills packed in the teen's college survival kit. Courtesy Jamie Green Idaho mom Jamie, 42, and daughter Sophia Green, 18, recently made a big splash with a social media reveal of their list of nontraditional necessities for Sophia's first day of classes at Boise State University this fall. Advertisement And while the 5.6 million viewers of their clip were largely supportive, digital detractors downed the trend, arguing that plying adolescents with the preventative products is 'sad' and 'embarrassing.' One contrarian commenter even wrote, 'Damn, teach your daughters common sense, resilience and willpower.' 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'The message is, 'I don't want you to get into any kind of tricky predicaments, but here are some tools that you can use to make smart choices after the fact.' ' It's a message that youngsters need now more than ever, statistics show. An alarming 50,000 teenagers confessed to misusing fentanyl, a synthetic opioid, in 2023, per a recent report from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, a branch of the Department of Health and Human Services. Researchers discovered a 47% spike in teen fentanyl use from 2022 to 2023. They attributed the startling uptick to the fact that many youngsters could have taken it without realizing. Advertisement Representatives for the Drug Enforcement Administration have deemed fentanyl, a Schedule I drug, the 'leading cause of death for adults ages 18 to 45 in the US,' according to the DEA's Campus Drug Prevention site. 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Advertisement In fact, the mother of two said she's encouraging others with college kiddos to follow suit. 'The most common objection I hear is, 'Well, my kid doesn't hang out with drug users,' ' said Schaefer, noting that Ingrid kicks it with the sober crowd at her school in Massachusetts. 'But what if someone was slipped something and they have to reverse an overdose?' @snappity207 I made my kid a health kit for college instead of buying a prepackaged first aid kit. She may not need a few of these things, but knows to share if someone does and I will happily resupply. #college #dormhaul #firstaid #backtoschool ♬ original sound – Gretchen's Kitchen The vigilant mom is also keen on reversing the effects of unprotected sex. Advertisement 'In the case of sexual assault, I want her or someone on her dorm floor to have the Plan B on hand,' she added. 'It was $6 at Costco.' To ensure that Ingrid knows how and when to use all of the remedies in her 'health kit,' Schaefer's even created, printed and laminated an emoji-coded list of detailed instructions. Schaefer's medicine how-to prompts include, 'Can't poop? Take 2 SennaLax before bed,' and 'Oops, condom broke? Take 1 Plan B ASAP after unprotected sex (within 72 hours).' 8 As an extra precaution, Schaefer curated a detailed list of all the medical emergency items, their uses and recommended dosages in Ingrid's college health kit. Courtesy Gretchen Schaefer 8 Schaefer tells The Post that she purchased the Narcan, Plan B contraceptive pills and other emergency health supplies for Ingrid because there aren't many pharmacies near the teen's school. Getty Images She's not being overprotective; she's simply passing the torch. 'I'm the Swiss Army knife mom,' said Schaefer. 'I want her to be the Swiss Army knife roommate.' Jamie Green wants her Sophia to gain a similar reputation around the dorms. 8 Jamie says her family openly discusses drug and sex safety practices. Courtesy Jamie Green. 'It super important to be prepared,' Jamie, a social worker who's also at Boise State pursuing a master's degree, told The Post. She hopes Sophia's new crop of college friends feels comfortable turning to her for support when necessary. 'The Narcan and Plan B aren't necessarily for Sophia, but they're for anyone on campus in need,' said Jamie. 'They can confidentially come to her and get help.' 8 Sophia dreams of becoming a doctor who specializes in women's health and care. Courtesy Jamie Green Sophia, an aspiring OB/GYN, looks forward to being a safe haven over the next four years. 'My mom and I have always had a very open relationship, and it feels really great that she's setting me up for success in case of any emergencies because s–t happens,' said Sophia. 'It's better to be prepared than keeping secrets, lying and maybe ending up in a worse situation. 'I'm glad other girls in my dorm will be able to trust me or my mom if they don't have anyone else.'
