This lonely, overgrown tomb of cracked stone is a metaphor for Irish attitudes to women in history

Irish Times

5 days ago

Sun-bathers lolling in their swimwear on
Derrynane
Beach occasionally witness the incongruous sight of funeral mourners walking behind a lofted coffin along the water's edge. The procession terminates on Abbey Island, a small, sandy burial ground that can only be reached when the tide permits. Here lie the mortal remains of Mary O'Connell in a tomb of cracking stone slabs and invading weeds. The words inscribed on the top are no longer legible to the visiting eye.
Above the beach in Derrynane House, tourists from far and wide marvel at the legacy of Mary's husband,
Daniel
, the Liberator revered for his monster rallies and Catholic emancipation. Most people leave the Kerry estate unaware that the serene woman in a portrait hanging in the diningroom – the wife who bore his dozen children and joined him on a speaking tour to quell a scandal about his infidelity to her – lies nearby in a mouldering grave.
Mary was laid to rest with Daniel's people in the family graveyard on the Atlantic shore when she died, aged 58, 11 years before her famous husband. Almost a five-hour drive away in
Dublin's
Glasnevin Cemetery
, he shares his ornate crypt with other family members. The crypt, which was refurbished with new marble in 2009, is marked by the 55m (180ft) O'Connell Tower, built in homage to the barrister, campaigner, MP and founder of the Dublin Cemeteries Committee. After the tower was
refurbished seven years ago and opened to the public
, Paschal Donohoe, the Minister for Finance, performed the official ribbon-cutting.
Ireland has shown due respect to a giant of its history. The main street in the capital city is named in honour of Daniel O'Connell. So is Limerick's main street. Cork and Waterford have an O'Connell street too. There is an O'Connell monument and an O'Connell Bridge. There are O'Connell schools. As his 250th birthday approaches on August 6th, there have been calls for the renaming of Kerry Airport to Daniel O'Connell Airport. His home on the Iveragh peninsula is a
national monument maintained by the OPW
. Though it was home to his wife too, try mentioning Mary O'Connell to most anyone and the likely response will be 'Mary who?'
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She was the child of a mixed marriage. Her Catholic mother, Ellen Tuohy, married a widowed Protestant called Thomas O'Connell, through whom Mary was distantly related to her future husband. Daniel stood to inherit the expansive house and estate in Derrynane from his bachelor uncle Maurice 'Hunting Cap' O'Connell but because of a stipulation that he should marry a woman with a dowry, the couple kept their romance secret, even living apart after their marriage in 1802 to maintain the pretence. They were obliged to come clean following the birth of their first child.
Mary O'Connell's tomb in Derrynane Abbey. Photograph: megalithicireland.com
Breeding became as intrinsic to Mary's life as breathing. Despite Daniel's adultery early in their marriage, she bore 12 children, six of whom survived beyond birth and childhood, and suffered a number of miscarriages. She was pregnant every year for the first eight years of marriage, and twice in 1810 when she gave birth in February and December.
As well as rearing the children in the increasing absence of a husband on the court circuit and campaign trail, Mary was the chatelaine of a house regarded as the HQ of Ireland's unofficial chieftain. At Derrynane House, she received international statesmen and royals seeking meetings with her husband. She, literally and metaphorically, kept the home fires burning in a house that now generates revenue for the State. It featured as one of Ireland's greatest historic properties in the first episode of the current RTÉ series, Legacy.
Perhaps the OPW could make an offer to O'Connell's descendants to restore and maintain it. The extent of work required does not seem expensive – certainly not as expensive as a bike shelter for Leinster House
Relentless pregnancy, short-term economic exile in France with her children because of Daniel's extravagant spending and the stress of publicity about his marital indiscretions likely contributed to Mary O'Connell's poor health and early death. Her biographer, Erin I Bishop, records Mary's trip accompanying her husband on a political tour of the English midlands to offset negative press about his alleged 'illegitimate' son.
Not only was she married to a Westminster MP but she was the mother of four others as all of her sons went on to represent six Irish constituencies in the London parliament.
Daniel O'Connell's 250th birthday is the sole occasion for State commemoration this year that is listed in the programme for government. Preparations are under way for a host of events in Kerry and nationally, including a symposium in Trinity College in July and the annual commemorative lecture in Glasnevin. Meanwhile, Mary lies forgotten in the weathered tomb she shares with Maurice Hunting Cap.
Paul Ryan, a retired tour guide from Waterford, has been campaigning for the restoration of Mary's resting place. After a visit last month, he reported that mortar needs to be replaced, the stone cleaned, the weeds removed and the inscription renewed.
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O'Connell Tower in Glasnevin reopens 47 years after bomb blast
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The OPW is not responsible for the burial ground in the monastic ruins on Abbey Island but perhaps it could make an offer to O'Connell's descendants to restore and maintain it. The extent of work required does not seem expensive – certainly not as expensive as a bike shelter for Leinster House.
Or maybe the Glasnevin Trust, which keeps the crypt and tower in tip-top condition, could play a part in honouring the grave of the Liberator's wife.
It was Daniel's often-quoted dying wish that his heart would go to Rome, his body to Ireland and his soul to heaven. He did not add 'and my wife to the vagaries of Atlantic storms and an amnesiac nation'. Despite his early marital philandering, the couple reputedly settled into a loving partnership.
The neglect of Mary's grave is a metaphor for the continual airbrushing of women out of Irish history. After the centenary of the Easter Rising and all the political promises in 2016 that the Elizabeth O'Farrells of this island – the nurse selected by Patrick Pearse to carry his message seeking negotiations to end hostilities and
subsequently wiped from the history
– would never again be forgotten, here we go again. There is a sexist old saying that, in Mary O'Connell's case, bears repeating. Behind every great man is a great woman. We should respect her memory, lest we forget.