Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 10 Habits
Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 10 Habits originally appeared on Parade.
Childhood and adolescence are times of learning and growing. However, child psychologists share that certain habits go beyond "kids being kids" and serve as red flags. While it sounds scary, experts explain that noticing these habits as potential warning signs allows parents and grandparents to operate from a place of empowerment and seek help for the child in their lives."The sooner you can detect behavioral issues such as aggression, irritability, hitting others [and] language delays, the sooner you can address [them]," explains , a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in work with children, teens and parents. "These emotional and behavioral concerns need to be addressed as soon as possible so they don't intensify throughout the years."She, along with other experts, shares 10 habits not to ignore in children and adolescents, as well as how to find help if you're concerned.Related:
Yes, every child is different. However, sometimes, the whole idea that "kids do XYZ when they are ready" can go too far. ., a division chief of psychology at Phoenix Children's, stresses that caregivers know their child best and encourages them to bring up concerns about consistent developmental delays, stagnation or regression in skills or abilities with a pediatrician. She says the CDC and Healthychildren.org are excellent resources for noting developmental milestones. Related:
Today's kids have access to far more of the world than many parents and grandparents did at their age, thanks to the internet, and it can be trickier to navigate than riding a bike on a bumpy sidewalk."Children can unknowingly become prey to those who seek to take advantage of their naïveté and lack of experience," explains ., a psychologist and mental health director at Hackensack University Medical Center. "It is important that caregivers are able to monitor internet use."He stresses the importance of creating boundaries for kids, including surfing the web in a common area and using open communication."If you recognize a child you care for attempts to or insists on exploring the internet unsupervised and/or in private, it is time that you engage in greater exploration of the foundation for their desire," he says. "It is important to explain to children the reality that, while a great tool, the internet exposes us all to great vulnerabilities."
Besides the internet, significant increases in screen time, more broadly, can also signal trouble. Dr. Allan shares it's linked to sleep problems, social-emotional issues and obesity."While screens are a part of modern life, a harm-reduction approach is important, especially for preschoolers," she says. "Limiting screen use during key times, such as meals, play and bedtime, is essential."Related:
Psychologists say that appetite changes may signal issues beyond eating."If your child is experiencing drastic appetite changes, like overeating or not eating enough, it can indicate problems such as distress, anxiety or an eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia," says , a psychologist with Thriveworks. Dr. Biller agrees, saying that children often don't understand how food habits can affect their eating. He recommends caregivers try to get to the root of the issue and seek help from a licensed mental health professional if they're concerned.
Dr. Muradian says hitting, biting, throwing objects and long tantrums in which a child struggles to soothe are all emotional red flags. "These negative behaviors, if not addressed, can bleed into their elementary and middle school years," she explains. "It's crucial to redirect and gain a better understanding of the aggression through seeking support and guidance for your child."
We all tell a lie now and then, but chronically not telling the truth is an issue, shares, a senior psychologist with the ADHD & Behavior Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. "A big tip for prevention of more serious lies? Helping the truth be less scary to tell," she says. "You want to set limits and have consequences for behaviors, but you want to let your child have an incentive for truth-telling."Dr. Litvinov advises parents to avoid interrogation if they already know the truth."Let them know you know and not argue about it," she suggests. "If the teacher says a child missed a class, don't ask if they missed it—just tell them the teacher told you they missed it, and you want to know why and what you will need to do to make it up. Give them a chance to do the right thing. Some kids need a moment to tell the truth, so you might need to give them that moment."Related:
Dr. Litvinov says that parents are often surprised to hear kids using inappropriate language or even cursing with their parents or their friends—and not just the spoken word."An issue that we have been seeing more recently has been when parents look at the texts sent among teens," she explains. "There is much more Inappropriate language, including more ableist, racially insensitive and sexually charged comments. Talking to your children openly and in a non-shaming way will be very important."Also? "Parents will also want to model respectful language," she stresses.
Sleep is vital for people of all ages, especially kids with developing minds."Sleep is essential for a healthy childhood, yet many kids occasionally struggle to fall or stay asleep," Dr. Allan says. "Consistent bedtimes and wake times, a sleep-friendly environment and avoiding screens in the bedroom can help minimize disruptions."Related:
"Nail-biters" during close sports games are one thing. However, Dr. Biller says it's important to pay attention to kids who constantly bite their nails. "Children also lack the understanding of the physical harm that they can cause by biting their nails, even when doing so results in bleeding or pain," he explains. "As with many habits, nail biting typically has an emotional foundation. It is not uncommon that nail biting is a reflection of a behavioral response to anxiety."
This one is heavy but vital to note."Many kids, especially teens, may question whether life is worth living—but most go on to lead healthy, meaningful lives," Dr. Allan says. "If you're concerned your child may be thinking about suicide, ask directly. Asking someone if they've had suicidal thoughts will not plant an idea in their head or lead them to harm themselves."Related: She suggests listening without judgment but also taking steps to ensure safety."Increase supervision during stressful times and ensure firearms and medications are securely stored," Dr. Allan says. "If the risk is immediate, call 9-1-1 or go to the nearest emergency room. Otherwise, seek therapy as quickly as possible."Related:
Noticing habitual behavioral issues in kids is stressful. However, Dr. Muradian emphasizes it's important to stay calm and consistent."Kids learn from our behaviors," she says. "They look at us how we react to certain situations and will emulate it."Related:
Books aren't just for schools. Dr. Muradian says books create conversations around behaviors. Three of her favorites are:
Hands are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi
Teeth are Not for Biting by Elizabeth Verdick
The Color Monster: A Pop-Up Book of Feelings by Ana Llenas
Noticing multiple problematic habits in kids is extra stressful. Dr. Vaughan emphasizes that you're not going to fix everything in one giant swing, though."Focus on one habit at a time to not overwhelm your child if there are multiple bad habits," she says. "Discuss clear expectations and consequences for continued unhealthy behaviors to help teach boundaries for acceptable behaviors. Also, motivate positive behaviors by utilizing positive reinforcements, such as praise/affirmations."
There's no shame in seeking help."Some habits and situations require more professional help, such as a mental health provider," Dr. Vaughan says. "Providers specializing in working with children and teens can help the kids and parents work through these habits in talk therapy. Other types of therapy, such as art and play therapy, can be helpful tools for children who struggle to express themselves in traditional talk therapy."
Up Next:Dr. Regine Muradian, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in work with children, teens and parents
Dr. Carla C. Allan, Ph.D., a division chief of psychology at Phoenix Children's
Developmental milestones. CDC.
Milestones matter. Healthychildren.org.
Dr. Brett Biller, Ph.D., a psychologist and mental health director at Hackensack University Medical Center
Media and young minds. AAP.
Dr. Denitrea Vaughan, Psy.D., LPC-S, a psychologist with Thriveworks
Dr. Lara Litvinov, Ph.D., a senior psychologist with the ADHD & Behavior Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute.
Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Never Turn a Blind Eye to These 10 Habits first appeared on Parade on Jun 3, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Jun 3, 2025, where it first appeared.
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