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Cosmopolitan
08-07-2025
- Cosmopolitan
10 Vacation Sex Tips That Will Make It Hotter Than Ever
It's no secret that vacation sex has a reputation for being some of the best sex there is. As far as I'm concerned, that's pretty much the entire point of booking a getaway. This is basically what PTO days were invented for! But what is it exactly about getting it on in a new locale that actually makes vacation sex so above-and-beyond hot? Honestly, lots of things—including the sheer novelty of being in a new place, says sex therapist Gigi Engle, an expert for 3Fun. Engle compares the 'vacation rush' couples tend to experience to 'new relationship energy.' Basically, just being somewhere different than usual and out of your normal routine can shake up your sex life and rekindle all of that horny excitement we associate with newness. 'This can increase libido and make sex with a partner all around more fun and exciting,' says Engle. Not to mention, you're probably (hopefully!) a lot more relaxed than usual when you're on vacation. 'Our libidos are heavily impacted by stress,' Engle explains. When you're free from work stress, emails, and Slack notifications, you may find it's naturally easier to stay in a sexy state of mind. So if you're ready to take full advantage of all the sexy potential of your next getaway, go ahead and slap that 'do not disturb' sign on the door and follow these nine expert tips for the hottest vacation sex of your life. 'Bring along whatever you consider a romantic must-have,' says Engle. For some, that may be your favorite vibrators. For others, it could be sexy lingerie or your favorite kinky accessories. Engle's own pro recommendation? Organic lavender bedding spray, which can add an extra touch of relaxation and romance. Any room can be a sex room if you make it one, and a hotel room is kind of the ultimate sex room. Yes, the bed is probably large, comfy and freshly cleaned—it's a great place to start! But if your vacation sex itinerary begins and ends on the bed, you're missing out. From the chair to the desk to getting bent over the bathroom sink in front of the mirror (my personal recommendation!), your hotel room is literally full of furniture just begging to be defiled. Again, the thrill of vacation sex is all about breaking out of your usual routine. According to Casey Tanner, a sex expert for Lelo, getting it on during times of the day that wouldn't normally be available to you is a great way to make the most of vacation sex. If you and your partner are typically morning or night sex people, try mixing things up with a little mid-day bang. When you're trying to squeeze sex into a jam-packed day already filled with work, errands, and catching up on your latest streaming obsession, it can be easy to end up rushing through the good stuff to get on with your day. Not that there's anything wrong with a good quickie, but a vacation is a great opportunity to slow down for once. 'This is a chance to take your time, both during the sex itself and with aftercare,' says Tanner. When you're fully relaxed with no place to be but the beach, there's literally no reason to rush. As someone who is also guilty of checking emails while away, this is so important. Working on vacation 'defeats the purpose of getting the rejuvenation you and your body need,' says sex therapist and pleasure expert Rachel Allyn, PhD. So leave the laptop behind, snooze those Slack notifications, and think of 'doing work' in other, sexier, contexts instead. Vacation is a great opportunity to take some time to recalibrate your mind-body connection. Start by noticing the new sounds, sights, smells, and tastes of your surroundings, as well as the touch of your partner. This can help turn you on in a fresh way and make everything during sex feel more intense. This is an all-purpose sex tip for all kinds of sex, including vacation sex! There's simply no sex that can't be improved with lube, so make sure to stock up before your trip! It's easy to become disconnected from your body during sex, especially when you have a million different thoughts roaming through your head. But use vacation sex as a time to truly connect, says Allyn. Vacation is a time when you are—or should be—the most relaxed, so ease your mind and all expectations and just enjoy every sensation. Just because vacation sex is great doesn't mean you should put pressure on yourself to be having it round the clock. 'Don't put expectations on yourself or your partner,' says Wright. 'Know that, for some people, it takes a bit to adjust into vacation mode, and that's okay.' Go with the flow, and don't get too hung up on how frequently you're boning. This is your time to get creative. Make it a point to get outside your comfort zone and try something new, whether that's trying out a new position, bringing a new toy into the bedroom, or experimenting with a new kink or fantasy.
Cosmopolitan
09-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Cosmopolitan
Snail vibrator review: the dual stimulation sex toy is a must try
When I first got word that a new sex toy called the 'snail vibe' was the latest viral vibrator to make the rounds online, I immediately volunteered to review it for Cosmo. One byproduct of being a sex editor with access to pretty much any and every sex toy you could dream of is that you tend to get a little jaded — a bit, 'been there, done that', when it comes to supposedly new vibes in town. It takes a lot for any fresh toy on the market to feel like a truly unique addition to my pleasure chest (AKA, the cardboard boxes of sex toys upon sex toys stashed under my bed). But when I heard 'snail', I thought, 'Okay, weird! I'm in'. Once my new toy arrived and it was time to take the goods for a spin, I had some second thoughts. I cannot overstate how much this thing truly does look like a snail, and suddenly the idea of putting a snail inside me sounded… less than arousing. Still, I was determined to branch out of my go-to, wand-forward self-love routine. And, if nothing else, this snail vibe was certainly bringing some novelty to the table. Not to mention, this baby makes some pretty big promises, boasting dual stimulation with the power of a wand vibrator (which — okay, love) paired with the internal stim of a G-spot vibe. And so, I decided to buck up and shove that 🐌 up my 🐱, all so I could report back to you, dear, curious reader. Keep right on reading to hear all about how it went. But first…. 'The snail vibe is a combo vibe that offers deep penetration, clitoral, and G-spot stimulation in one,' explains sex and relationships psychotherapist Gigi Engle, resident intimacy expert at 3Fun. 'It uses two motors — one for internal and one for external stimulation, in combination with a dildo-like shaft.'' There are two main models of snail vibrators: the Gizi, a more compact and more overtly snail-like option, and the OG, which features a longer shaft (and, in the 'curve' model, a curved, more ergonomic handle — neat!). But they essentially both work the same way. 'You turn on the motors and insert the toy vaginally,' says Engle. 'The internal motor delivers internal stimulation and the external bit gives external clitoral stimulation to the clitoris.' Makes sense in theory, but when you first lay eyes on the snail vibe, it can seem a little confusing. Allow this viral (SFW!!) video to make it make sense. Ultimately, the snail vibe is similar to a rabbit vibrator in that it offers dual stimulation, but is unique in its signature (snail-like) 'slide and roll' technology. The toy touts itself as 'a revolutionary vibrator that brings together the impressive power of a wand, full length of a dildo, and dual stimulation of a rabbit vibrator', making it, as Engle notes, 'kind of a one-stop shop — in theory, at least'. So does it live up to the hype? Let's find out! When I say I've seen a lot of sex toys in my time, I mean it — so it takes a lot for me to be impressed by what they have to offer. A hint for any aspiring sex tech creators out there: any toy that comes with its own case immediately scores points in my book. Thankfully, both the Curve and the Gizi do! Each comes in its own hard metallic silver zip case, which has handy velcro tabs inside to hold the toy and charger in place, plus there's an instruction manual in there. I decided to unbox both at the same time for a true side by side (and because two toys is better than one, let's BFFR). Right off the bat, Curve was pretty intimidating — and it took me a good while of turning it around to figure out which end was which (probs could've consulted the instructions at that point). Eventually, I realised the loop end serves as a handle, while the end with the larger snail 'curve' unfolds as you push it inside you. The handle is also, thankfully, where the buttons are — two sets, including one to control the five patterns and five speeds for each motor, making it extremely intuitive to use. Meanwhile, Gizi is a more manageable size and I knew immediately which end I would be inserting — plus I was drawn to the super textured ribs on the external section, as I could only imagine how that would feel rubbing against my clit. Naturally, this got me excited to get started, so once I'd given the toys a good scrub with my favourite sex toy cleaner, I added a heavy-handed layer of water-based lube and it was time to get into it! Let me just start by saying that internal toys have never been my go-to. If I want something in me, what I really want is, frankly, dick. When it comes to getting off on my own, my trusty wand vibe is my go-to. (Currently obsessed with the rechargeable Le Wand, if you were wondering.) Still, the snail vibe's promise of delivering wand-like power both internally and externally certainly piqued my interest. I decided to ease into things with the Gizi — a smaller, more compact option that seemed more beginner-friendly. It also looked more distinctly snail-like, so I (wrongly) assumed this was the original model. Anyway, this little guy had me immediately… underwhelmed. I felt like there wasn't enough insertable length without the longer shaft/handle of (what I later realised is) the original version, and the 'slide and roll' motion was tricky to replicate without a handle, so I found the toy fell out of place easily. I quickly gave up and switched to the original snail toy. I have the 'curve' model, which features a slightly curved shaft and a nice little handle. Here's another bit of snail sex toy lore for you. It is not only snail-like in appearance, but, according to the internet hype, delivers a slow build… followed by a massive orgasm. Once again, as someone who knows exactly what I like and how to get it done quickly, I initially felt kind of impatient with the 'slow and steady wins the race' vibes this vibe was delivering. This wasn't helped by the fact that the clitoral portion of the vibrator didn't quite hit my C-spot, so I had to hold it in place while thrusting the toy inside me. But once I found the right rhythm and combo of speeds and patterns (the first pattern on a low speed at the G-spot end and faster patterns on the C-spot), I will say this sneaky little snail ultimately delivered. As someone who 'knows myself' quite well (in the Biblical sense), it takes a lot for a self-administered orgasm to genuinely shake me up. And honestly, this did really feel like a pretty unique, multi-orgasmic sensation. That said, as a self-proclaimed clit stim slut, I do feel like the external motor — while definitely powerful — failed to deliver the direct clitoral stimulation I'm used to. The roly, external part of the toy kept slipping out of place unless I literally held it down, which was kind of annoying. For me, personally, a snail vibrator is not going to be my new go-to. That said, the original version did deliver some pretty life-changing orgasms — even if the external portion of the vibe needed a little manual assistance. If you're going to invest, definitely go with the original (or the Curve) over the more compact Gizi. Overall, if you love dual stim and/or are interested in trying out something that feels truly off-book, go forth and give the snail vibe a whirl. Having championed sex positivity for the last several decades (and before you were born, in some cases!) we're proud to say that we know what we're talking about when it comes to all things pleasure. As trusted voices in the sex space, we not only receive the 411 on the latest sex tech on the market, but have tested enough to make us (dare we say?) experts in the sex toy space. With a team of sex editors and writers on hand, we take product testing very seriously, looking for features such as power, speed, battery life, vibration modes, and whether the toy works in the shower or bath (should wet play be your vibe). We also consult sex educators and sexologists for their advice on how to use a vibrator as best we can, and the toys suited to every body, gender, and sexuality. Don't believe us? Read our backlog of sex toy round-ups and sex tech reviews as evidence that we well and truly know what we're talking about. Kayla Kibbe (she/her) is the Associate Sex and Relationships Editor at Cosmopolitan US, where she covers all things sex, love, dating and relationships. She lives in Astoria, Queens and probably won't stop talking about how great it is if you bring it up. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.
Cosmopolitan
23-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Cosmopolitan
Homemade sex toys — DIY sex toys to (safely) use at home
The idea of homemade sex toys and DIY sex toys can be kinda scary — especially if you've read some truly awful stories about people using household items during sex and suffering the consequences. And, TBF, some of these fears are justified: good quality sex toys need to be made from body-safe materials, so that you and your vulva are kept in tip top condition. But that doesn't mean DIY and homemade sex toys are totally out of the question. Stephanie Alys, sex expert and founder of MysteryVibe, explains there are some safe items you can fashion and use as sex toys. 'Recently we've seen the use of homemade sex toys and DIY sex toys rise, as people look for things to increase the intimacy and get sexy at home,' she says. 'Cucumbers, hair brushes, mobile phones… these are all things people have experimented with during masturbation. Firstly, I don't think any of us really want our mobile phone stuck inside us! Secondly — and most importantly — this is very dangerous. Inserting objects like this can upset the natural balances of your vagina and cause all sorts of infections.' That's not to say there aren't things at home that you can use to enhance your sex life. 'DIY toys can be especially fun for engaging in sensation play and kink,' says Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at dating app, 3Fun. 'A wooden spoon can be great for spanking, ice cubes can provide different temperatures on the body, and a t-shirt can make a great blindfold.' She continues: 'DIY kink toys can be an interesting and budget-friendly way to explore more expansive sex with your partner. If you find something you really like, you can always invest in gear later. For example, if that wooden spoon gets you going like a train engine, you can always go out and buy a flogger or paddle later.' But with any DIY toys, it's important to consider the materials you're using. 'Wood, plastic, cotton (clothing), or ice are all all safe to use on the skin and body,' explains Engle. 'Essentially, it's just about using common sense. DIY toys won't be body safe for internal use, so this is something to keep in mind when you're looking to use them.' If you're looking for more than external sensation play, then, it's important to stick to body-safe sex toys from reputable brands (FYI: not Shein). So, how can you tell which toys are body-safe? 'When shopping for sex toys you want a toy that is made from body-safe or medical-grade silicone, ABS plastic, or stainless steel,' continues Engle. 'You also want to consider buying toys that are USB rechargeable and waterproof. These toys are generally better quality and will last you a long time. Consider what kind of sensations you're looking to explore: Clit stimulation? Penis stimulation? G-spot? Dual stimulation? Knowing what you're trying to achieve with the toy can lead the way for what you want to buy.' Okay, now that's all cleared up, below Alys shares seven household items that can be used safely in sex — just remember: external play only! 'Tease and titillate your partner with the soft, delicate touch of a feather,' Alys suggests. 'Using feathers during sex is a great way to build anticipation and leave your partner gasping for your touch. Trace your lover's body with the feather to heighten their sensations, leaving nerve-endings tingling from head-to-toe.' Alys also says that if it's more intense pleasure you're after, you can try using a vibrator while your partner teases your neck, nipples, and inner thighs with a feather. Temperature play can be a really fun way to try out new sensations and increase sensitivity. 'Use an ice cube during oral sex, to tease nipples and create light puddles you can both lick off each other's bodies,' says Alys. 'Start by sucking an ice cube, before taking it out and giving your partner oral sex. At the same time, you can use that same ice cube to trace along their inner thighs. This mixture of hot and cold can really blow their mind.' Don't forget to take it in turns because trust us, being on the receiving end is amazing. If you don't have an old tie knocking around, you could also try a ribbon or a piece of fabric to use as a blindfold. 'Shutting one of your senses naturally intensifies the others, which means you'll be extra receptive to your partner's touch,' Alys says. Blindfolds are a great way to explore power during sex, giving you both a chance to play the dominant role. For lots of us, not being able to see also reduces inhibitions, which means you'll be less focused on your 'O face' and more focused on every movement your partner makes. 'Start by kissing their neck before nibbling their nipples and licking every inch of their body,' continues Alys. 'The teasing will drive them wild.' This one might sound as cliché as using your electric toothbrush, but ye olde shower head is much safer. 'There's a reason why masturbating in the bath or shower is so popular. Firstly, you're already naked… you're wet and slippery, you're relaxed and you have some time to yourself,' Alys says. 'Take the shower head and press it against your clitoris starting from cold to warm. If you have a fancy shower head with different intensity settings — now's your chance to finally try them out.' If you have a waterproof vibrator, you can also use this alongside the shower head for double the sensations. BTW: if your shower head is a little on the old side and you're thinking of upgrading it, might we recommend Womanizer's Wave? This may look like your average shower head, but it's actually a discreetly disguised clitoral stimulator, with a few (strategically placed) jets to offer pinpoint pressure — and pleasure. Want to know more? You can read our full review here. A scarf is an item of many talents, apparently. 'Ask your partner to tie your wrists together, or to your headboard, and try your own power play scenario,' suggests Alys. 'With your hands (and even your feet) tied, you won't have any say in where your partner touches or squeezes. This will leave you feeling exhilarated, begging them for more.' Just be sure to establish your boundaries and safe words before you start playing. 'The flexible design of a spatula makes for a very handy spanking tool,' Alys says. 'Simply bend over your partner's lap, or ask them to bend over you, and bite your lip as you prepare for the satisfying sensation of the spatula spanking your bottom.' 'If you want to be extra naughty, try using your favourite vibrator at the same time. This combination of pleasurable pain and your pulsating clitoris will quickly become a new favourite.' Some food cupboard and fridge items that you may have can work really well incorporated into your sexual experimentation. 'Honey, whipped cream, and melted chocolate can give you a completely new experience and, although it's messy, it engages all of your five senses,' Alys says. 'Remember that too much sugar around your vagina can encourage yeast, so keep the food play centred around your lips, nipples, tongue, neck, belly button, toes — whatever you're into.'
New York Post
12-05-2025
- General
- New York Post
These poly-parents say the lifestyle has made them better moms and days
For Nichole Gonzalez, giving birth to her now one-year-old daughter in late 2023 was a family affair. As she pushed, her husband, Frank, held her left leg — while their girlfriend, Sasha, held the right. 'It was important to have both of my partners in the delivery room,' Gonzalez, 29, a stay-at-home mama of two from northern New Jersey, told The Post. Advertisement As a polyamorous parent to both her little girl and a nine-year-old son, she's in the growing number of mothers and fathers exploring consensual non-monogamy (CNM). It's an unrestrictive relationship style that allows couples to pursue sexual and romantic connections beyond the confines of a two-person partnership. The avant-garde arrangement is an everyday setup for roughly one in five adults in both the U.S. and Canada, per a 2024 report from the University of Quebec, which noted, 'Among those who practice CNM, many have children.' Advertisement 12 The threesome tells The Post that their friends, family members and neighbors treat them with respect and kindness, despite their nonconformist family structure. Stefano Giovannini Investigators interviewed 18 children of polyamorous parents to find that 'these children generally appreciated their parents' partners.' 'These adults were seen by our participants as someone who contributed positively to their lives,' wrote study authors, adding that the kids enjoyed fun, fuller lives with mom and/or dad's supplemental sweetie. However, recent data via Cornell University, notes, '…Polyamorous families can exert positive and negative impacts on their children.' Advertisement 12 Gonzalez told The Post she and her partners are poly-parenting for keeps. Courtesy Nichole Gonzalez The findings indicate that pups raised in polyamorous families are susceptible to a number of disadvantages, including 'the potential loss of [an] adult partner relationships once a romantic relationship terminates and societal stigmatization.' But Gonzalez told The Post she and her partners are poly-parenting for keeps. The holistic healer, said her brood — whose names she chose to omit for privacy — even considers Sasha, 29, a third parent. Advertisement 12 Gonzalez says husband Frank welcomed the idea of adding another partner and parenting into their home, and found Sasha on the 3Fun app. Stefano Giovannini 12 The trio became an official throuple in late 2023. Stefano Giovannini 12 Gonzalez tells The Post she encouraged her son to call Sasha 'mom' after the boy expressed interest in embracing her as his third parent. Stefano Giovannini 'My son said, 'I like her name, but I'd like to call her mom,'' Gonzalez remembered. The tike was seven when she and Frank found Sasha on 3Fun, a dating app for polyamorous people. And in the two years since becoming throuple, Gonzalez's family has been made whole. 'If you're bringing the right person into your family, your kids have more love,' she said, 'that's the best thing a kid could have.' 12 Gonzalez says she's the more nurturing parent, while Frank fulfills the role of 'fun' dad and Sasha serves as the structured homemaker mom. Stefano Giovannini Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist, agreed. She told The Post, 'When raising a child inside of a polyamorous unit, you actually have more caretakers for your child.' Advertisement 'You have more hands, more guidance and more love to give the kids,' said Engle, an intimacy expert at 3Fun. 'It can really be a great thing.' 12 Gigi Engle, an intimacy expert at 3Fun, said polyamory has benefits for parents. Penske Media via Getty Images Courtney Boyers, a poly, self-described 'soccer mom' of three from Seattle, however, is happy keeping her boyfriends separate from the kiddos — and her monogamous husband, Nathan. Unless, of course, the family expresses an interest in getting to know her men. Advertisement 12 Courtney Boyers Courtesy Courtney Boyer 'None of them wanted to meet [my ex] except for my oldest and my husband,' said Courtney, 42, a relationship coach. 'It was the first time Nathan met any of my partners, and he actually really liked the guy. He was sad it didn't work out between us.' But Nathan wasn't always keen on his wife of 20 years having other men in her life. 'When Courtney came out as poly, it really made me reexamine what I wanted as a parent, partner and husband,' Nathan said, crediting therapy with helping him embrace her polyamory. Advertisement 12 Courtney and Nathan Boyers Courtesy Courtney Boyer Courtney, a once pious traditionalist, expressed her desire to date other guys during their 17th anniversary dinner. It was a hard pill for Nathan, a military man and doctor, to swallow. 'It wasn't easy, and there was a lot of hurt and pain to deal with, but we decided to stay married and to make each other better,' he said. 'I've become more supportive and loving.' Courtney, who meets most of her partners on Hinge, has become more liberated since coming out to her children in June 2023. Advertisement 12 Courtney and Nathan Boyers Courtesy Courtney Boyer 'I was terrified they'd think of me as a monster or disgusting,' said the mom, admitting she engaged in several casual 'hookups' with men who made her feel 'disposable' during her polyamory infancy — dalliances she 'really f- -king hated.' She's since refocused her sights on more meaningful relationships. And her kids couldn't be happier for her. 'They said, 'We love you. We don't care,'' a tearful Courtney recalled. 'It was the most beautiful thing.' Honesty has transformed Courtney's parenting. 'I take each of my kids out for one-on-one dates each month,' she said. 'If I can make time to go on dates with men I don't know, I can do the same with my kids — we go to a restaurant and talk about everything.' 12 Barrett and his wives tell The Post that they are all happily cohabitating, and considering adding a sixth woman into their blended home. Jam Press/@nextgenbarrett For Los Angeleno Jame Barrett, his five wives and their 11 kids, there wasn't much discussion about moving into a 5500 sq. ft., six-bedroom house as one big poly family. Barrett, 30, simply proposed the idea to his tribe of brides — Reda, 28, Cameron, 29, Gabriela, 30, Diana, 30, and Jessica, 31— in a group text. 'It was a shock when he sent the text,' said Jessica, a mother of two, who's currently expecting. 12 (From left) Reda, Gabriela, Jame Barrett, Diana, Jessica and Cameron enjoying a cowboy-themed family outing. Courtesy Jame Barrett She and Diana, the mother of the polycule's oldest kids, sons ages 13 and 11, are due to give birth on the same week in September. Cameron, Barrett's only legal wife, is also pregnant and due on June 30. 'But now, my children are living under the same roof as their dad,' Jessica continued. 'It's what I've always wanted.' All the women tell The Post they're happily monogamous to the Left Coast real estate pro, who says polyamory's made him a better father. 'I get to be there for my sons and daughters — I'm not missing out,' he said. 'I'm their first example of love.' But he's not pushing polyamory on the pack. 'I joke around with my three older sons and ask, 'How many wives are you gonna have?,' laughed Barrett. 'They're like, 'One!''
