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Bangkok Post

Paper bags, patriotism and mushy peas

One of the more thought-provoking stories of the week was an unnamed Thai hospital being fined after it was discovered private files on patients were being used to make paper bags for popular street snacks. Apparently some people at the business entrusted with destroying the files instead took them home and made paper bags out of them. It probably won't come as a surprise that I have personal experience when it comes to the influence of Thai paper bags. I arrived at work one day to find a package on my desk. I opened it and found it contained a used paper bag popular with street vendors. I was intrigued to see the bag was from a page of the Bangkok Post and more specifically, the PostScript column. The sender explained in an attached note that he bought some fried bananas at the market and was amused to find the bag was my column from the previous week. He added, perhaps a little unnecessarily, that he enjoyed the bananas more than the column. Actually I was quite pleased to see that the column could serve a useful practical purpose. Anyway it's always good to get feedback. Perhaps the biggest reaction to the column came when PostScript carried an Aussie's less than complementary comments on mushy peas, the famous dish from northern England. It prompted a vigorous defence the following week from numerous fans of mushy peas. One reader wrote he was "shocked, nay horrified, at the derogatory comments about one of the world's greatest unheralded cuisines." A couple of years ago PostScript came under fire again for suggesting the Great British Chip was similar to "French Fries". It prompted considerable rumblings in proud British stomachs. "Shockingly unpatriotic" was one of the more polite observations. The heroes of Makkasan Last week's item concerning keeping lions as pets sparked memories of a classic Thai story featuring a Big Cat. Long-term readers may recall the adventures of Ai Dum, a pet black panther which escaped from a Bangkok house in June 1981. For space reasons I will skip the details but for nearly six weeks the panther was on the loose with regular sightings at the overgrown Makkasan railway engine graveyard. The increasingly nervous public demanded action. After 41 days it was joyfully announced that two wildlife officials had fearlessly overpowered Ai Dum with tranquiliser darts in the railyard. The duo were dubbed the "Heroes of Makkasan". Shortly afterwards Ai Dum was released into the jungle by officials at a Uthai Thani wildlife sanctuary. But this is not the end of the story. Postcards from the jungle A few days later an irate private zoo owner showed up demanding to know what had happened to the black panther two fellows had "borrowed" from him a week before. The two "heroes" then admitted they had staged the whole thing. They had rented the "captured" panther from the zoo and had planned to return it when all the publicity had died down. What they hadn't bargained on was the authorities quickly releasing what they thought was Ai Dum into the jungle. The heroes quickly became villains. As a footnote, for several years I received postcards addressed to "Professor Crutch" and signed "Ai Dum" relating anecdotes about his life in the jungle. And of course the original Ai Dum was never caught. Play your cards right After years of being very much frowned upon because of its association with gambling, playing poker in Thailand is apparently now acceptable if played in an international tournament. One suspects there could be an awful lot of such tournaments popping up soon. This development has got bit of a U-turn feel to it although it doesn't bother me as I'm hopeless at poker. It seems to require a lot of mental acuity, concentration and skill, which rules me out for a start. According to the authorities it is ow regarded as a sport. Being a bit old fashioned, while I appreciate the skill required in poker I find it hard to accept something as a sport if you don't have to take a shower after it. Aces high The world of poker has given us many expressions we use in everyday life. The most obvious is "poker face", meaning someone who displays no emotion and reveals nothing about their true feelings. It's the kind of look you see from visiting dignitaries at the Oval Office when Mr Trump is in full flow. Other common expressions derived from poker are "ace in the hole'' or "ace up the sleeve" meaning to enjoy a hidden advantage. And "holding all the aces" needs no explanation. There are plenty more of course, including "calling one's bluff" and "raising the stakes''. I suspect the one expression I would become very familiar with is "when the chips are down." Walkies My thanks to reader Daniel Wilkinson in Khon Kaen for a final word on unusual pets: "A man bought a talking centipede from the pet shop. When he got home he whispered into the box 'do you want to go for a walk?' NOTHING. He whispered again 'I'm going for a walk in the park, do you want to come?' NOTHING. He tried a third time. This time a voice said, 'I heard you the first time, I am putting my shoes on.'"