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Time of India
12-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Time of India
Move over ghosting and breadcrumbing—‘Banksying' is the coldest breakup trend you didn't see coming
A new term is making its way into the vocabulary of modern dating—and it's not one that inspires much hope. The phenomenon, called 'Banksying,' is drawing attention for its emotionally manipulative nature, where one partner checks out of a relationship long before saying a word, leaving the other stunned and heartbroken when the breakup finally comes. Coined in reference to the enigmatic street artist Banksy—known for his unexpected, self-destructive art—the term describes a breakup that unfolds quietly, emotionally, and one-sidedly. Much like the famous Banksy painting that shredded itself moments after being auctioned for $1.4 million, Banksying is a process of slow emotional sabotage. But in this case, the canvas is a relationship. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like Walgreens Hides This Cheap 87¢ Generic Viagra from Seniors – Here's Why fridayplans Learn More Undo The term was recently spotlighted in a USA Today report, which described Banksying as a uniquely unsettling way to end a relationship—one that is marked by ambiguity, avoidance, and emotional withdrawal disguised as normalcy. 'The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance,' said Amy Chan, dating coach and author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, in her comments to USA Today. Live Events An emotional slow fade, not a clean break Unlike ghosting—which is abrupt and unmistakable—Banksying is more covert. It involves subtle changes: decreased affection, vague excuses, emotional distancing. The partner doing the Banksying will often continue going through the motions, assuring everything is fine, even while emotionally withdrawing behind the scenes. This silent unraveling leaves the other person in a state of confusion, often doubting their own instincts. 'Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another,' Emma Hathorn, relationship expert at told USA Today. 'Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out.' The emotional toll comes not just from the breakup itself, but from the way it unfolds. The ambiguity makes it harder to process and grieve. 'They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance,' Chan told USA Today. 'Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite.' What Banksying reveals about modern dating culture In an era where conflict avoidance is rampant and communication often filtered through screens, Banksying reflects a broader trend of emotional unavailability and discomfort with directness. 'It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become,' Chan told USA Today. 'It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out.' The rise of dating apps and swipe culture may be feeding into this behavior, normalizing poor communication and low accountability in romantic relationships. Relationship experts say the answer lies in having the courage to be honest—even when it's difficult. 'Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty,' Hathorn said to USA Today. 'Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time.' Banksying is less about artistic flair and more about emotional cowardice—a trend that leaves behind confusion instead of closure. And for the person on the receiving end, that can feel like the worst kind of heartbreak: one they never saw coming.
Economic Times
12-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Economic Times
Move over ghosting and breadcrumbing—‘Banksying' is the coldest breakup trend you didn't see coming
Live Events An emotional slow fade, not a clean break What Banksying reveals about modern dating culture (You can now subscribe to our (You can now subscribe to our Economic Times WhatsApp channel A new term is making its way into the vocabulary of modern dating—and it's not one that inspires much phenomenon, called 'Banksying,' is drawing attention for its emotionally manipulative nature, where one partner checks out of a relationship long before saying a word, leaving the other stunned and heartbroken when the breakup finally in reference to the enigmatic street artist Banksy—known for his unexpected, self-destructive art—the term describes a breakup that unfolds quietly, emotionally, and one-sidedly. Much like the famous Banksy painting that shredded itself moments after being auctioned for $1.4 million, Banksying is a process of slow emotional sabotage. But in this case, the canvas is a term was recently spotlighted in a USA Today report, which described Banksying as a uniquely unsettling way to end a relationship—one that is marked by ambiguity, avoidance, and emotional withdrawal disguised as normalcy.'The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance,' said Amy Chan, dating coach and author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, in her comments to USA ghosting—which is abrupt and unmistakable—Banksying is more covert. It involves subtle changes: decreased affection, vague excuses, emotional distancing. The partner doing the Banksying will often continue going through the motions, assuring everything is fine, even while emotionally withdrawing behind the silent unraveling leaves the other person in a state of confusion, often doubting their own instincts.'Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another,' Emma Hathorn, relationship expert at told USA Today. 'Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out.'The emotional toll comes not just from the breakup itself, but from the way it unfolds. The ambiguity makes it harder to process and grieve.'They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance,' Chan told USA Today. 'Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite.'In an era where conflict avoidance is rampant and communication often filtered through screens, Banksying reflects a broader trend of emotional unavailability and discomfort with directness.'It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become,' Chan told USA Today. 'It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out.'The rise of dating apps and swipe culture may be feeding into this behavior, normalizing poor communication and low accountability in romantic relationships. Relationship experts say the answer lies in having the courage to be honest—even when it's difficult.'Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty,' Hathorn said to USA Today. 'Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time.'Banksying is less about artistic flair and more about emotional cowardice—a trend that leaves behind confusion instead of closure. And for the person on the receiving end, that can feel like the worst kind of heartbreak: one they never saw coming.
New York Post
09-07-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Post
Toxic ‘Banksying' breakup trend is the cruel new dating stunt that's even meaner than ghosting
Hoping that your suddenly sour sweetheart will have a sudden change of heart? Don't Bank on it. If your partner is slowly but surely becoming emotionally detached from the relationship, chances are you're being 'Banksyed,' experts warn of the new, heartbreaking breakup tactic. It's a dastardly dumping technique named after Banksy, the elusive street artist. And much like his iconic work, which tends to pop up out of nowhere, victims of the cruel uncoupling stunt typically don't see the surprise split coming. 3 Breakup savants warn daters about the rising 'Banksying' trend, which see folks getting dumped out of the blue. La Famiglia – 'Banksying happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette,' Amy Chan, a breakup pro, told USA Today. 'The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock.' It's a cowardly way to part ways. But, sadly, it seems the gutless guys and gals of today prefer taking the wimpish way out of their romantic commitments. Tech-savvy 20-somethings of Gen Z are tasking artificial intelligence with drafting 'it's not you, it's me' texts, ending things in writing rather than in-real life. And fans of the buzzy 'cut them off' theory are leaving their unsuspecting honeys high-and-dry, arbitrarily ditching them over petty oversights. 'Last year, I was seeing someone that I really liked and I cut him off because he didn't wish me a safe flight,' an uncaring 'cut 'em'-practitioner bragged online. Then, of course, there are those grimey, ghastly ghosters, folks who abruptly discontinue all communication with an inamorata or inamorato without a trace. 3 Relationship insiders say Banksying is emotionally manipulative and unfair to the unsuspecting partner in a romantic relationship. simona – But Chan says Banskying might be a relationship cruelty 'worse than' ghosting. 'The prevalence of this trend shows how conflict avoidant people have become,' she explained to a TikTok audience of more than 112,000 viewers. 'There's a lack of ability to have uncomfortable, hard conversations, so they do more damage by dragging it out.' Her Banksyed-burned followers agreed. 'Yup — shattered my itty bitty heart into a million pieces,' confessed a crushed commenter. 'Wow can't believe I got Banksyed,' another exclaimed. 'Isn't this just Quiet Quitting: Relationship Edition?,' a separate spectator wrote, likening the breakup trick to the 'quiet quitting' workplace movement, which sees disgruntled employees making under-the-radar departures from their jobs. Emma Hathorn, a relationship insider at says Banksying — although not a totally novel concept — often leaves daters feeling stressed, confused and gaslit. 'Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another,' Hathorn told USA Today. 'Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out.' 'Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant — there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it.' 3 Hathorn says victims of Banksying often feel stressed, confused and gaslit by their exes. KMPZZZ – Chan added that Banksying usually makes the unwitting partner feel 'left in the dark, wondering if the relationship is actually solid or if their concerns about it are justified.' 'They might not be using their words to tell you — but their actions are,' she continued. 'They might lie and say everything is 'fine,' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance.' 'Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite,' Chan advised. Hathorn urged Banskying offenders to simply come clean about their fed-up feelings, rather than do their clueless darlings dirty. 'Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty,' she said. 'Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time.'
Yahoo
09-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This new dating trend is leaving people baffled and heartbroken. It's called ‘Banksying'
Look out, daters: There's a new toxic relationship trend taking the romantic world by storm. It's called "Banksying," and it derives its name from the elusive street artist Banksy, known for art that seems to pop up out of nowhere and often comes with a cryptic twist. Like a baffling Banksy art piece, "Banksying" in a relationship involves slowly withdrawing emotionally from your partner, without telling them that's what you're doing. When the time comes to finally break up, the "Banksy-er" often feels better, having mentally checked out of the relationship long ago, while the other partner is left blindsided and confused. When someone "Banksies," they start to destroy the relationship before the other person sees it coming. Some of Banksy's art has famously self-destructed − like one painting that made headlines for shredding itself after selling at auction for $1.4 million. Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," says "Banskying" has been happening for a while − it just has a trendy name now. The solution, she says, is to practice open and honest communication, even when doing so feels uncomfortable. What health & wellness means for you: Sign up for USA TODAY's Keeping It Together newsletter "'Banksying' happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette," Chan says. "The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance." Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert at says "Banksying" leaves daters feeling stressed, confused and gaslit. Often the person on the receiving end can sense something is wrong, but their partner keeps assuring them everything is fine. "Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another," Hathorn says. "Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out. Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant – there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it." What makes "Banksying" so painful, Chan says, is its ambiguity. At least when someone ghosts, it's clear they've abandoned the relationship. With "Banksying," however, people are often left in the dark, wondering if the relationship is actually solid or if their concerns about it are justified. "They might not be using their words to tell you – but their actions are," Chan says. "They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite." In case you missed: People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts Ultimately, the prevalence of "Banksying" further shows how the skills of dating − as well as the skills of breaking up − have degraded in recent years. "It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become," Chan says. "It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out." Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'? It might be why you're still single The solution? Instead of Banksying, tell the person you're dating how you really feel. It's not the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. "Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty," Hathorn says. "Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time." This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Banksying' is a toxic new dating trend. What is it?
Yahoo
09-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This new dating trend is leaving people baffled and heartbroken. It's called ‘Banksying.'
Look out, daters: There's a new toxic relationship trend taking the romantic world by storm. It's called "Banksying," and it derives its name from the elusive street artist Banksy, known for art that seems to pop up out of nowhere and often comes with a cryptic twist. Like a baffling Banksy art piece, "Banksying" in a relationship involves slowly withdrawing emotionally from your partner, without telling them that's what you're doing. When the time comes to finally break up, the "Banksy-er" often feels better, having mentally checked out of the relationship long ago, while the other partner is left blindsided and confused. When someone "Banksies," they start to destroy the relationship before the other person sees it coming. Some of Banksy's art has famously self-destructed − like one painting that made headlines for shredding itself after selling at auction for $1.4 million. Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," says "Banskying" has been happening for a while − it just has a trendy name now. The solution, she says, is to practice open and honest communication, even when doing so feels uncomfortable. What health & wellness means for you: Sign up for USA TODAY's Keeping It Together newsletter "'Banksying' happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette," Chan says. "The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance." Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert at says "Banksying" leaves daters feeling stressed, confused and gaslit. Often the person on the receiving end can sense something is wrong, but their partner keeps assuring them everything is fine. "Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another," Hathorn says. "Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out. Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant – there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it." What makes "Banksying" so painful, Chan says, is its ambiguity. At least when someone ghosts, it's clear they've abandoned the relationship. With "Banksying," however, people are often left in the dark, wondering if the relationship is actually solid or if their concerns about it are justified. "They might not be using their words to tell you – but their actions are," Chan says. "They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite." In case you missed: People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up. Ultimately, the prevalence of "Banksying" further shows how the skills of dating − as well as the skills of breaking up − have degraded in recent years. "It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become," Chan says. "It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out." Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'? It might be why you're still single. The solution? Instead of Banksying, tell the person you're dating how you really feel. It's not the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. "Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty," Hathorn says. "Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time." This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Banksying' is a toxic new dating trend. What is it?
