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Toronto Star
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Toronto Star
This is what happens when you ask an AI slop factory to write like me
Could AI steal my writing job? A month ago, skeptical of almost everything American AI tech bros promise, and watching AI produce enough word slop to raise sea levels even further, I asked ChatGPT to imitate my work. Be me, I said. 'Please write a 650-word column on modern feminism in the style of Heather Mallick.' It responded personally, which will never not be creepy. 'Certainly! Here's a 650-word column on modern feminism in the style of Heather Mallick, known for her incisive wit, left-leaning commentary, and sharp turns of phrase.' Enough with the flattery. First, that's not what I'm known for. I'm known to my readers for having once fended off a rabid raccoon with a dessert fork. Thank you, yes, still proud. The raccoon won of course but this is the Canadian spirit I suspect Prime Minister Mark Carney seeks in us. I am known to neighbours for my busy little litter pickup stick. I am known to my family for my vast library of everything Virginia Woolf, which sadly they have never once consulted. I am known to my husband. Fun fact: I am noted for my fascination with political hair, from the damp peaty helmet of Stephen Harper to Pierre Poilievre's product-heavy pompadour. Didn't spot that, did you, ChatGPT. I am distrait. The initial ChatGPT Uriah Heep pseudo-compliments repel me but the fantasy column that follows is pure OnlyFans. What should I call this slop generator? Dr. Tobias Funke of 'Arrested Development' fame? Chareth Cutestory? Or just Brian? Chareth it is. Second, ditch the placatory exclamation point, Chareth. Third, Chareth arches its spine so hard to come up with its 'sharp turns of phrase' that its back snaps. The spew that follows is a slurry of poorly chosen, inaccurate, unsuitable words in contorted combinations, all shaved phrasings of opinions I don't share. The metaphors aren't just laboured, they're shapes foreign to English speakers rendered in colours unknown to nature. ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW Worst of all, it tries too hard. A sample of Chareth being me: 'I had thought feminism would mellow with age. (No, I didn't.) Like a fine Stilton (all Stiltons are pretty alike) or a retired cat (calling a cat 'retired' is a faded cute-ism) it might purr with wisdom, (cats have no wisdom, they're cats) its battles won. But modern feminism is as necessary as coffee on a Monday (why Monday, why coffee?) and as reviled as truth at a shareholders' meeting (lame).' It described faux-feminism: 'You too can shatter glass ceilings if you first perfect your morning routine and drink mushroom-infused adaptogenic lattes. It's feminism as marketed by Gwyneth Paltrow, repackaged with a sense of self-optimization that makes me scream into a bar of soap.' This is awful. It's word slurry from the 2010s, none of it mine. Chareth's modus operandi is to pick nouns, proper and otherwise, and glue them to phrases from anything published online. The problem is, as you learn when you read a news story about a subject you're familiar with, much of what is online is factually wrong. Chareth may have good burglar's tools. But what it steals is shoddy, its logic assembled out of pretzels and spit. I asked Chareth to have another go. 'Certainly! Here is a 650-word column on modern feminism in the voice and tone of Heather Mallick for a Toronto Star audience — informed, progressive, and a bit weary from the world but still hopeful.' The resulting AI piece was insulting to Star readers, particularly mine, the crème de la crème. It began: 'Modern feminism is like the TTC on a snowy Monday: underfunded, misunderstood, and yet expected to show up without complaint.' ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW ARTICLE CONTINUES BELOW I am no longer distrait, I am irate. What is TTC feminism? Is Chareth suggesting the Star hyper-fixates on local transit? Fine, I'll cancel next week's excellent column on what the hygiene-conscious subway rider should be wearing nowadays, which is hip waders, frankly. Chareth's fake Star column manically links diverse talking points: sexual harassment inside tiny homes; Uber surge pricing for women in Bangladesh; and serums for underfunded shelters. Cute stories, Chareth, woven from bear spray and barcodes. Finally, I asked for a column in the style of a mainstream American journalist. I call them 'boneless chicken' columns. They use buffered phrases like 'some may say,' and 'it seems that.' Pale, smooth, without assertion or even a point, they do fill the space. But such writers live a restful life. Chareth, please write a soporific column, a propofol in prose, in the style of a gentler Heather Mallick. A drowsy numbness drains the senses. Oh look, Star readers are snoring. Heather's passed out. Just look at what Chareth Cutestory, AI's badly trained seal, can deliver.
The Advertiser
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Advertiser
Barbie star Michael Cera says success is 'dumb luck'
Michael Cera thinks "dumb luck" is the reason for his success. The 36-year-old actor started his career as child and dabbled in various teen programmes before finding mainstream success with the sitcom Arrested Development but has always made sure to "live on very little" so he can keep his passion alive with the projects he chooses. Asked how he found success, he told PageSix: "Dumb luck. I've always kind of lived (on) very little means in a way because I really like having freedom to say no to things. It's how to stay in love with what you're doing." The Barbie star enjoys having time to himself in between acting jobs, but is then always eager to get back to work as he noted that as a freelancer it is always impossible to know where the next paycheck is coming from. He said: "I kind of like time in between jobs, then I get kind of itchy. As an actor, you're like a freelance person and you never know what the next thing is, so you kind of have to make peace with that feeling of the unknown." Most recently, Cera can be seen in the Wes Anderson movie The Phoenician Scheme and noted that it "definitely felt goofy" to put on the Swedish accent that was required for the role of entomologist Bjorn Lund. He added: "(I was) calibrating it in a way that it didn't tip into being distracting or damaging the overall balance and the effect of the movie." "Working with Anderson was surreal, but it also just feels normal…Everybody's happy to be there. And you really feel that. Everybody knows that it's an unusual opportunity to work on a movie like this with someone like Wes and with a team like that. "So, there's a really happy spirit in the air." Michael Cera thinks "dumb luck" is the reason for his success. The 36-year-old actor started his career as child and dabbled in various teen programmes before finding mainstream success with the sitcom Arrested Development but has always made sure to "live on very little" so he can keep his passion alive with the projects he chooses. Asked how he found success, he told PageSix: "Dumb luck. I've always kind of lived (on) very little means in a way because I really like having freedom to say no to things. It's how to stay in love with what you're doing." The Barbie star enjoys having time to himself in between acting jobs, but is then always eager to get back to work as he noted that as a freelancer it is always impossible to know where the next paycheck is coming from. He said: "I kind of like time in between jobs, then I get kind of itchy. As an actor, you're like a freelance person and you never know what the next thing is, so you kind of have to make peace with that feeling of the unknown." Most recently, Cera can be seen in the Wes Anderson movie The Phoenician Scheme and noted that it "definitely felt goofy" to put on the Swedish accent that was required for the role of entomologist Bjorn Lund. He added: "(I was) calibrating it in a way that it didn't tip into being distracting or damaging the overall balance and the effect of the movie." "Working with Anderson was surreal, but it also just feels normal…Everybody's happy to be there. And you really feel that. Everybody knows that it's an unusual opportunity to work on a movie like this with someone like Wes and with a team like that. "So, there's a really happy spirit in the air." Michael Cera thinks "dumb luck" is the reason for his success. The 36-year-old actor started his career as child and dabbled in various teen programmes before finding mainstream success with the sitcom Arrested Development but has always made sure to "live on very little" so he can keep his passion alive with the projects he chooses. Asked how he found success, he told PageSix: "Dumb luck. I've always kind of lived (on) very little means in a way because I really like having freedom to say no to things. It's how to stay in love with what you're doing." The Barbie star enjoys having time to himself in between acting jobs, but is then always eager to get back to work as he noted that as a freelancer it is always impossible to know where the next paycheck is coming from. He said: "I kind of like time in between jobs, then I get kind of itchy. As an actor, you're like a freelance person and you never know what the next thing is, so you kind of have to make peace with that feeling of the unknown." Most recently, Cera can be seen in the Wes Anderson movie The Phoenician Scheme and noted that it "definitely felt goofy" to put on the Swedish accent that was required for the role of entomologist Bjorn Lund. He added: "(I was) calibrating it in a way that it didn't tip into being distracting or damaging the overall balance and the effect of the movie." "Working with Anderson was surreal, but it also just feels normal…Everybody's happy to be there. And you really feel that. Everybody knows that it's an unusual opportunity to work on a movie like this with someone like Wes and with a team like that. "So, there's a really happy spirit in the air." Michael Cera thinks "dumb luck" is the reason for his success. The 36-year-old actor started his career as child and dabbled in various teen programmes before finding mainstream success with the sitcom Arrested Development but has always made sure to "live on very little" so he can keep his passion alive with the projects he chooses. Asked how he found success, he told PageSix: "Dumb luck. I've always kind of lived (on) very little means in a way because I really like having freedom to say no to things. It's how to stay in love with what you're doing." The Barbie star enjoys having time to himself in between acting jobs, but is then always eager to get back to work as he noted that as a freelancer it is always impossible to know where the next paycheck is coming from. He said: "I kind of like time in between jobs, then I get kind of itchy. As an actor, you're like a freelance person and you never know what the next thing is, so you kind of have to make peace with that feeling of the unknown." Most recently, Cera can be seen in the Wes Anderson movie The Phoenician Scheme and noted that it "definitely felt goofy" to put on the Swedish accent that was required for the role of entomologist Bjorn Lund. He added: "(I was) calibrating it in a way that it didn't tip into being distracting or damaging the overall balance and the effect of the movie." "Working with Anderson was surreal, but it also just feels normal…Everybody's happy to be there. And you really feel that. Everybody knows that it's an unusual opportunity to work on a movie like this with someone like Wes and with a team like that. "So, there's a really happy spirit in the air."
Perth Now
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Perth Now
Barbie star Michael Cera thinks 'dumb luck' is the reason for his success
Michael Cera thinks "dumb luck" is the reason for his success. The 36-year-old actor started his career as child and dabbled in various teen programmes before finding mainstream success with the sitcom 'Arrested Development' but has always made sure to "live on very little" so he can keep his passion alive with the projects he chooses. Asked how he found success, he told PageSix: "Dumb luck. I've always kind of lived [on] very little means in a way because I really like having freedom to say no to things. It's how to stay in love with what you're doing." The 'Barbie' star enjoys having time to himself in between acting jobs, but is then always eager to get back to work as he noted that as a freelancer it is always impossible to know where the next paycheque is coming from. He said: "I kind of like time in between jobs, then I get kind of itchy. As an actor, you're like a freelance person and you never know what the next thing is, so you kind of have to make peace with that feeling of the unknown." Most recently, Michael can be seen in the Wes Anderson movie 'The Phoenician Scheme' and noted that it "definitely felt goofy" to put on the Swedish accent that was required for the role of entomologist Bjorn Lund. He added: "[I was] calibrating it in a way that it didn't tip into being distracting or damaging the overall balance and the effect of the movie." "Working with Anderson was surreal, but it also just feels normal…Everybody's happy to be there. And you really feel that. Everybody knows that it's an unusual opportunity to work on a movie like this with someone like Wes and with a team like that. 'So, there's a really happy spirit in the air.'
Gulf Today
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Gulf Today
Cera and Anderson were destined to make a movie together
When Michael Cera was announced as joining the cast of a Wes Anderson movie for the first time, the prevailing response was: Hadn't he already been in a Wes Anderson movie? So seemingly aligned in sensibility and style are Cera and Anderson that you could easily imagine a whole fake filmography. It is, for a slightly more corduroyed corner of the movie world, an actor-director pairing as destined as Scorsese and De Niro — even if 'The Phoenician Scheme' is (checks notes one last time) their first movie together. 'I would remember,' Cera deadpans. 'I would never have passed up the opportunity.' 'The Phoenician Scheme,' which Focus Features releases on Friday in theatres, stars Benicio del Toro as the international tycoon Zsa-zsa Korda, who after a lifetime of swindling and exploiting has decided to make his daughter, a novitiate named Liesl (Mia Threapleton), the heir to his estate. Cera plays Liesl's Norwegian tutor Bjørn Lund. And because of the strong leading performances, you couldn't quite say Cera steals the show, he's certainly one of the very best things about 'The Phoenician Scheme' — and that's something for a movie that includes Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston playing a game of HORSE. Bjørn is an entomologist, which means Cera spends a sizable portion of the movie in a bow tie with an insect gently poised on his finger. 'He is sort of a bug, himself,' Cera, speaking in an interview at the Cannes Film Festival shortly before the premiere of 'The Phoenician Scheme,' says with a wry smile. 'And he sheds his skin and becomes his truth self.' If Cera's role in 'The Phoenician Scheme' feels like a long time coming, it is. He and Anderson first met more than 15 years ago. Cera, 36, was then coming off his early breakthroughs in 'Arrested Development,' 'Superbad' and 'Juno.' A comic wunderkind from Ontario who stood out even among the 'Arrested Development' cast as a teenager, Cera had caught Anderson's attention. 'It was something arranged by an agent in New York and we went to a kind of cocktail party,' Anderson recalls by phone. 'We were with Harvey Keitel, too. So it was me and Harvey and Michael Cera - a totally unexpected combination. But I loved him. For years I've kind of felt like: Why haven't we already done something together?' For Cera, the meeting was even more memorable. 'I remember being very excited to meet him,' Cera says. 'I remember him being very disarming. Obviously, he was like a luminary inspiration. He has had a huge impact on my general sense of taste. I discovered his movies when I was a teenager and watched them over and over.' They nearly did come together on a movie before 'The Phoenician Scheme.' Anderson had a small role for Cera in 'Asteroid City,' but when its production schedule got pushed, Cera had to drop out because of the coming due date for his first son with his wife Nadine. 'I was kind of worried that I blew it,' says Cera, 'that I missed the chance to sneak in.' But even though Anderson and Cera didn't work together until 'The Phoenician Scheme,' they developed a relationship. Cera, who aspires to write and direct his own films, would send Anderson scripts for feedback. 'We became friends,' says Cera. 'In the case of this movie, it was everything short of written for him,' Anderson says. 'As soon as we had the idea of the character, he was the guy who (cowriter Roman Coppola) and I started talking about. I think we talked to him about it before there was a script or anything.' 'It seemed like it had already happened,' adds Anderson. 'And it was a very good fit, a natural thing.' Cera quickly adapted to Anderson's unique style of moviemaking, in which the cast collectively stay at a hotel, begin the morning in makeup together and remain on set without trailers to retreat to. 'At first, you're kind of exhausted,' says Cera. 'At the end of the first day, you go: OK, I need to eat a bigger breakfast.' As the production went along, Cera often sat right next to Anderson to watch him work. Associated Press
Japan Today
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Japan Today
Michael Cera and Wes Anderson were destined to make a movie together
Michael Cera, from the film 'The Phoenician Scheme' poses during the 78th international film festival, Cannes, southern France on May 18. By JAKE COYLE When Michael Cera was announced as joining the cast of a Wes Anderson movie for the first time, the prevailing response was: Hadn't he already been in a Wes Anderson movie? So seemingly aligned in sensibility and style are Cera and Anderson that you could easily imagine a whole fake filmography. It is, for a slightly more corduroyed corner of the movie world, an actor-director pairing as destined as Scorsese and De Niro — even if 'The Phoenician Scheme' is (checks notes one last time) their first movie together. 'I would remember,' Cera deadpans. 'I would never have passed up the opportunity.' 'The Phoenician Scheme,' which Focus Features releases Friday in theaters, stars Benicio del Toro as the international tycoon Zsa-zsa Korda, who after a lifetime of swindling and exploiting has decided to make his daughter, a novitiate named Liesl (Mia Threapleton), the heir to his estate. Cera plays Liesl's Norwegian tutor Bjørn Lund. And because of the strong leading performances, you couldn't quite say Cera steals the show, he's certainly one of the very best things about 'The Phoenician Scheme" — and that's something for a movie that includes Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston playing a game of HORSE. Bjørn is an entomologist, which means Cera spends a sizable portion of the movie in a bow tie with an insect gently poised on his finger. 'He is sort of a bug, himself,' Cera, speaking in an interview at the Cannes Film Festival shortly before the premiere of 'The Phoenician Scheme,' says with a wry smile. 'And he sheds his skin and becomes his truth self.' If Cera's role in 'The Phoenician Scheme' feels like a long time coming, it is. He and Anderson first met more than 15 years ago. Cera, 36, was then coming off his early breakthroughs in 'Arrested Development,' 'Superbad' and 'Juno.' A comic wunderkind from Ontario who stood out even among the 'Arrested Development' cast as a teenager, Cera had caught Anderson's attention. 'It was something arranged by an agent in New York and we went to a kind of cocktail party,' Anderson recalls by phone. 'We were with Harvey Keitel, too. So it was me and Harvey and Michael Cera — a totally unexpected combination. But I loved him. For years I've kind of felt like: Why haven't we already done something together?' For Cera, the meeting was even more memorable. 'I remember being very excited to meet him," Cera says. "I remember him being very disarming. Obviously, he was like a luminary inspiration. He has had a huge impact on my general sense of taste. I discovered his movies when I was a teenager and watched them over and over.' They nearly did come together on a movie before 'The Phoenician Scheme.' Anderson had a small role for Cera in 'Asteroid City,' but when its production schedule got pushed, Cera had to drop out because of the coming due date for his first son with his wife Nadine. 'I was kind of worried that I blew it," says Cera, 'that I missed the chance to sneak in.' But even though Anderson and Cera didn't work together until 'The Phoenician Scheme,' they developed a relationship. Cera, who aspires to write and direct his own films, would send Anderson scripts for feedback. 'We became friends,' says Cera. 'In the case of this movie, it was everything short of written for him,' Anderson says. 'As soon as we had the idea of the character, he was the guy who (cowriter Roman Coppola) and I started talking about. I think we talked to him about it before there was a script or anything.' 'It seemed like it had already happened,' adds Anderson. 'And it was a very good fit, a natural thing.' Cera quickly adapted to Anderson's unique style of moviemaking, in which the cast collectively stay at a hotel, begin the morning in makeup together and remain on set without trailers to retreat to. 'At first, you're kind of exhausted,' says Cera. 'At the end of the first day, you go: OK, I need to eat a bigger breakfast.' As the production went along, Cera often sat right next to Anderson to watch him work. One very notable characteristic of Bjørn is a Norwegian accent. If there's anything more fitting than Michael Cera being a Wes Anderson movie, it might be Michael Cera doing a Norwegian accent in a Wes Anderson movie. It's also a bit that, in 'The Phoenician Scheme,' has a touch of spoiler to it. Cera calls it 'sort of a jaunty, playful representation of an accent, not purporting to be a home run.' 'When I brought up the accent to Wes, I said, 'How should we go about this accent?'' Cera say. 'He was kind of caught of guard. I think he hears the movie in his head and maybe hadn't figured that in. It was something Wes had to compute.' As Anderson describes it, Cera was determined. 'I, at a certain point, was a little reluctant, like, I don't know if we need it,' says Anderson. 'He was like: 'No, let me show you what I'm going to do.'' A determination in absurdism has long marked Cera's best performances. Though a private person who has resisted all urges to get a smartphone, Cera is remarkably fearless when it comes to the most awkward moments. It's a seriousness of purpose that, whether singing 'These Eyes' in 'Superbad' or waving hello as Allen in 'Barbie,' that's made Cera a favorite of successive generations. Even in a billion-dollar blockbuster, Cera can be unassumingly hilarious. 'I feel like most people don't know I'm in that movie. I mean, not a in a bad way. It was great for my personal disposition to get to be part of it,' Cera says. 'I can say I'm in it, but I can walk around. I'm nowhere near the center of the movie. I'm not on the poster, put it that way. (Laughs) My nephew went and saw the movie with my sister. Afterwards he was like, 'I thought Uncle Michael was going to be in this movie.' It was a nice lane for me.' Just before the premiere of 'The Phoenician Scheme' in Cannes, it was announced that Cera, after writing a handful of scripts including an adaptation of Charles Portis' 'Masters of Atlantis,' will make his directorial debut with 'Love Is Not the Answer,' a film he wrote that has a cast including Pamela Anderson and Steve Coogan. 'You have a little more control over your destiny if you try to create something, even though it's hard to get it off the ground,' Cera says. 'But it's better than sitting around. You're like a hired contractor as an actor, and it's a great thing about it. But I think a lot of actors end up becoming frustrated directors because of how many opinions you have about the proceedings.' It may have taken many years for Cera and Anderson to finally team up, but it could have come at the right time, just as Cera is — ahem — shedding a skin. In any case, theirs remains an ongoing collaboration. Anderson tapped Cera for an ad they recently shot for Mont Blanc. Does that mean he's officially part of the troupe? 'That's up to him," says Cera. 'I would never say no.' © Copyright 2025 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without permission.
