3 days ago
- Business
- Independent Singapore
7K/month is still not ‘good enough' — 28 y/o Malaysian woman laments because her parents keep forcing her to work in Singapore to earn more
MALAYSIA: 'Are children successful only if they 'earn a lot and go far'?' asked a 28-year-old Malaysian woman who poured her heart out in a heartfelt post that struck a nerve with thousands on Astro XUAN's Facebook page.
And her story is probably one that many young adults quietly live every day.
She earns a decent RM7,000 (approximately S$2,000) monthly, lives independently, has time for herself, and feels genuinely content with her life. But to her parents, it's still not good enough. Photo: FB screengrab/ASTROXUAN
'My monthly salary is about 7K, which is not much, but I can live a comfortable life,' she wrote. 'I am single, I have my own space, and I have time to do what I like. I am very satisfied with my current life,' she added. Photo: FB screengrab/ASTROXUAN
And yet, this hard-earned happiness has become the very thing her parents question. The pressure starts after graduation
Like many only children in Asian families, she bears the invisible crown of expectation. After graduation, instead of chasing the so-called 'greener pastures' abroad, she chose to build a life locally — in Malaysia, where she feels rooted and at peace.
But according to her parents, real success lives across the Causeway.
'They always persuade me to develop in Singapore, saying that the salary there is high and there are many opportunities,' she explained. 'They also give examples of relatives whose children have gone abroad and settled down there.'
The script is familiar: 'You'll earn more in Singapore!' as many may have probably heard before. And it's not an outright lie — average salaries in Singapore often tower over Malaysian pay scales. Even a S$4,000 salary (about RM14,000) is considered modest in the Lion City, but more than double what she currently makes.
Still, she's not convinced. 'I like the city I am familiar with now, where I have my own pace of life, friends, and a sense of life.' Money talks, but so does silence
Every time money is mentioned at the dinner table, the room turns tense. The conversation inevitably circles back to that dreaded question: 'When are you going to Singapore?'
She describes feeling 'wronged' — not because she doesn't understand their concern, but because her current life is being constantly invalidated by a probable fantasy version of success.
'They think I am stubborn, but I think I am just sticking to my own choice,' she stood her ground.
To avoid arguments, she now visits home less often — a painful consequence for someone who clearly values family, but is caught in a never-ending debate between love and independence. See also Anwar's party was on the verge of breakup: Party founder
'The more they talked, the more silent I became, and the sadder I became,' she expressed her sorrows. The emotional cost of 'Good Intentions'
At the core of her post is a quiet plea: to be seen, not as someone who gave up or settled, but as someone who chose peace over prestige, stability over stress, and authenticity over ambition.
'They always say, 'We are doing this for your own good.' I believe they love me. But I also want them to know: I am not wasting my life, nor am I shirking my responsibilities.'
She saves money. She works hard. She's not partying her life away. She just doesn't want to uproot her happiness for someone else's idea of what life should look like.
'Sometimes I feel really confused and helpless — in their eyes, are children successful only if they 'earn a lot and go far'?' A bigger question beneath it all
This post has sparked a quiet cultural conversation — not about where we work, but about what we value. Should success be measured only by paycheck size and how far we've moved from home? Is emotional fulfilment less important than career prestige?
And perhaps the biggest question of all: Can love sometimes come across as pressure, especially when masked as 'what's best for you'?
Her words reflect a common struggle faced by many Asian millennials and Gen Zs — the tug-of-war between filial piety and personal freedom.
She ends her post simply… but vulnerably: 'I am an only child, and I don't know who to talk to, so I wrote this down here. I want to hear your thoughts.'
Well, if she's reading this — here's one thought: You're not alone. And choosing peace over pressure? That's not failure. That's courage to protect your own inner peace and stand up for your own freedom of choice.
Stay grounded. Stay strong. We wish you all the best.
In other news, one job seeker said, 'As a 20-something in Singapore, I often hear older generations talk about job security, retirement savings, or climbing the corporate ladder, but for many in my generation, those ideas feel increasingly outdated — if not completely out of reach.'
Read his full story on why he reached this conclusion here: 20 y/o Singaporean says older generations' idea of job security — committing to a 9-6 full-time job — is outdated for Gen Zs like him in the age of AI
