2 days ago
Why One Mom Refuses to Live by Son's Nap Schedule, Buy Trending Baby Products in Protest of 'Modern' Parenting (Exclusive)
One mother shares how she found peace and balance by embracing a low-maintenance approach to motherhoodNEED TO KNOW
As she first geared up to become a mom, Aubrey Matthesius felt overwhelmed with "modern" parenting
As a result, she turned to older women in her circle for advice
Now, as she expects her second child, Matthesius has developed her own "low-maintenance" style of parentingWhen Aubrey Matthesius found out she was expecting her first child, she was immediately overwhelmed – not by morning sickness or cravings, but by the intense, hyper-curated routines of modern motherhood she saw on TikTok.
The constant pressure to be perfectly scheduled, endlessly stimulated, and always 'on' made her question whether she even wanted to become a mother.
Instead of succumbing to the anxiety, the 27-year-old from Glendale, Ariz., turned to the older women in her life, seeking wisdom from a time before she felt parenting became a performance.
Their grounded, simple advice helped her embrace what she now calls the 'low-maintenance mom' mindset – one that's shaped the mother she is today as she awaits her second child.
'It means cutting out excessive baby products, not overcomplicating simple tasks, and not allowing mom guilt to cloud our judgment as moms – allowing us to make better, anxiety-free decisions for our children and families,' Matthesius tells PEOPLE exclusively.
In the early days of motherhood, she found herself weighed down by intense postpartum gloom. Caught in a fog of shifting hormones, she craved a calmer, more grounded way of parenting.
'Due to that hormonal season, I was slowly adopting the anxious, attachment-style parenting that most millennial and Gen Z moms live by,' Matthesius recalls.
'However, after turning off the phone and calling some older women in my life, I learned that their way is better than the modern way," she adds. "So I adopted their principles and found mental, physical, and spiritual freedom for myself and the baby.'
Matthesius' mother-in-law quickly became one of the women she leaned on most during early motherhood. Many of the principles she shared were rooted in old European traditions – simple, time-tested ways of raising children.
Often, those conversations felt like a process of 'deprogramming,' as her mother-in-law gently countered the high-maintenance habits being pushed on social media.
'She and many other women in my church community helped shape me and were only a phone call away,' Matthesius admits.
Whether it was the importance of transitioning a baby to their own crib or being comfortable with trusted babysitters, the advice helped prevent the kind of overdependence that can overwhelm both mom and child.
Matthesius' non-negotiables as a 'low-maintenance mom' are very clear. First, she refuses to let mom guilt cloud her judgment, recognizing how often it leads to choices that strain both parenting and marriage – like kids co-sleeping far beyond what's healthy for the family.
Second, she doesn't chase trends; to her, a new idea isn't automatically a better one. Third, she avoids overspending on unnecessary baby products, aware that the industry profits off moms seeking quick fixes.
Lastly, sleep training is a must in her home – because when everyone sleeps well, the whole household thrives.
"These principles have created not only a low-maintenance mom but now a low-maintenance baby,' Matthesius shares. 'Our children are the result of the principles we live by. So it was important for me to understand the kind of mother I wanted to be.'
Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
One of the best examples of her low-maintenance approach is refusing to let her baby's nap schedule dictate every part of her day.
The expecting mother watched countless moms miss out on life because a nap was scheduled in 30 minutes, keeping them stuck at home.
Instead, she created a flexible routine that allowed her child to adapt – whether it meant napping in a stroller at a coffee shop or shifting nap time by 30 minutes as a toddler.
'Teaching my child to be adaptable gave everyone freedom,' Matthesius reveals. 'So many moms live as a slave to motherhood when no one told them they have to be.'
Another way she simplified daily life was by cutting out unnecessary steps from everyday routines. Instead of using a bottle warmer, she poured the milk and served it as is. The same went for wipe warmers, which they skipped altogether.
Her mindset was simple: if a baby gets used to extra comforts, those quickly become expectations, making everything more complicated in the long run.
'I also let other people help with routines. So many moms control every aspect of their child's routines and don't allow for anyone else to be a part of that,' Matthesius says. 'What that does is it creates children that are particular to certain things and even who is doing the tasks.'
She's seen the difference firsthand between her approach and that of moms who take a more high-maintenance route.
Her son is adaptable, confident, and enjoys being with others. He sleeps a solid eight to 10 hours each night, and more importantly, both she and her child live free from the constant anxiety and fear that often comes with modern parenting.
'I can still love my kids and have boundaries,' Matthesius emphasizes. 'Just because I don't co-sleep with my child, that doesn't mean I don't love my child. In fact, because I love my child, I am teaching valuable principles and skills early on.'
Her advice for parents looking to simplify is to start small. You don't need a complete overhaul – just cut out the extras, like unnecessary registry items or contact naps, and ease into changes that fit your lifestyle.
Most importantly, she urges moms to choose peace. With so much noise online, clarity comes when you step back, put the phone down, and seek wisdom from women you trust.
'I would say I am not reinventing the wheel. This is simply what mothers have done for years and years. The people reinventing the wheel are the modern mothers and they look miserable doing it,' Matthesius tells PEOPLE.
'I am simply implementing the advice of women who have passed this information down for generations! This is not new information, it's just new to this generation.'
Read the original article on People
