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Fast Company
6 days ago
- Health
- Fast Company
Why you're catching the ‘ick' so easily, according to science
If you are frequently getting the ick from potential romantic partners, it might not be them. The problem might be you. A new study has found that if you possess certain personality traits, you might be more susceptible to the dreaded ick than others. Researchers Brian Collisson, Eliana Saunders, and Chloe Yin from Azusa Pacific University in Southern California found that those who are prone to disgust, hold others to high standards, or score higher in narcissism are most at risk. Even if you're unsure what we're talking about, you've likely experienced it. A now ubiquitous term in dating, the ick is used to describe the feeling of disgust that arises toward a love interest. They stumble on the side of the curb? Ick. There are remnants of red sauce around their mouth? Instant ick. Although the concept itself is not new (the ick was first coined in the 1990s TV show Ally McBeal), the term has more recently found a new lease on life online, with more than 120 million related posts on TikTok. 'Personally, I became interested in learning more about the ick when I heard that a friend of mine kept a running list on her phone notes app of every ick she'd ever experienced from a guy (it was several pages long),' Saunders, a graduate student at Azusa Pacific and the study's lead author, told Psypost. For the study, researchers asked 74 men and 51 women, ranging in age from 24 to 72, if they knew what getting the ick meant and whether they had ever experienced it. The study then measured the likelihood of participants experiencing the ick in response to specific behaviors. Participants also completed personality tests and answered questions about their dating lives. The findings are clear: Certain personality traits make participants more vulnerable to the ick. These include higher disgust sensitivity, which increases the intensity of reactions to triggers rather than the frequency of the ick occurring. Narcissism is also linked to the likelihood, though not the frequency, of experiencing the ick. Those who tend to place high expectations on others are triggered by a wider range of behaviors. Women are more likely than men to recognize the ick, though both men and women experience a similar average number of ick moments. For women, misogynistic behavior or annoying speech are immediate turnoffs. For men, it's vanity or 'overly trendy' behavior. While the ick often acts as a bucket of ice-cold water on a blossoming romance (about a quarter of participants reported ending a relationship immediately upon experiencing the ick), Saunders said people should look inward before making any hasty decisions. 'Before dumping a partner because their feet dangle when they sit in a chair, we should think critically about why we're feeling 'icked' out,' Saunders told Psypost
Telegraph
28-02-2025
- General
- Telegraph
‘His love letter was riddled with spelling mistakes': Your biggest ‘icks'
My friends and I have been compiling 'ick' lists for years. High up on mine: ordering vanilla ice cream or tomato pasta, having a green driver's licence, black bedsheets and – perhaps the ultimate deal-breaker – holding your nose when you jump in the pool. For Telegraph readers, their lists include Sir Keir Starmer, bad table manners and incorrect use of language. Reader Vicki Lester puts it bluntly: 'If I wrote up all the first dates where something totally horrified me and I bolted, it would be as big as the Encyclopaedia Britannica.' As Suzy Walker described on Thursday, the term 'ick' has been around for decades – first cropping up in Ally McBeal and Sex and the City, before Love Island contestants popularised it in 2017. It describes that sudden, unshakeable wave of revulsion towards a romantic interest, often triggered by something seemingly trivial. Now, science has caught up. New research from Azusa Pacific University in California suggests that having an ick isn't just about picky dating habits; it's an evolutionary tool. The study describes it as a 'rapid rejection mechanism' – our brain's way of instinctively weeding out unsuitable partners before things get serious. However, for Telegraph readers, none of this is new – they have been experiencing icks since at least the 1980s. From fashion faux pas to unforgivable dining habits, here are some of the exact moments you knew you could never see someone again. 'A love letter riddled with spelling mistakes' For many Telegraph readers, linguistic slip-ups aren't just minor annoyances – they send them running for the hills. Yvonne Twiss sets the tone: 'Urgh, bad grammar. If a man doesn't know the difference between 'they're', 'their' and 'there', it's an instant swipe left [rejection].' Aunty Vee has a full list of linguistic pet peeves: 'Anyone who says 'me and…', people who punctuate everything with 'like', those who answer a question by starting with 'So…', and anyone who calls people 'bro, bruh, dude'. All absolutely out of the question.' P Sutherland shares a family anecdote: 'My late mother once ditched a boyfriend after he sent her a love letter riddled with spelling mistakes. This was nearly 80 years ago.' Euphemisms are an absolute no-no for one anonymous reader: 'Using 'passed' instead of 'died'. Sorry, but it's 'died' or 'passed away' – nothing in between.' But for Ralph Davidson, it's inauthentic accents: 'Middle-class people who drop their Ts to sound 'street'.' Reader Michael Gates recalls hearing an unforgettable ick while at the pub: 'A friend of a friend met a chap at a disco while on holiday and took him back to her hotel. He couldn't find the 'Do not disturb' sign, so he wrote one himself: ' Do not disterb '. She promptly threw him out.' Emma Dixon can't stand vocal quirks: 'Anyone who speaks in ' upspeak ', where every sentence sounds like a question, makes me want to rip off my ears. I'm not an imbecile – I can understand you without the unnecessary inflection.' Meanwhile, Mr P has had enough of email small talk: ''I hope this email finds you well.' Well, as long as they've typed my address correctly, it won't have gone astray… or do they mean I need to be in good health to read the rest of it? Frankly, I feel I should charge an extra on my hourly rate for reading such nonsense.' 'I asked him if his parents hadn't taught him how to eat' For some, poor table manners – particularly a lack of cutlery training or eating with one's mouth open – are bigger red flags than a criminal record. Tracy Campbell doesn't mince her words: 'My personal off switch kicks in when people can't use a knife and fork properly. Cutting up food and then eating with a fork only? Appalling.' Robert Lee is equally unimpressed: 'Why do people think it's acceptable to hold a cutlery knife like a pencil?' Moirelyn Turner still shudders at the memory of one particularly chaotic diner: 'A boyfriend once shovelled food into his mouth with such force, I half expected it to come out the back of his head. 'To make matters worse, he spun his fork in a full circle before doing so – like some kind of cutlery gymnastics. He seemed amazed when I asked him if his parents hadn't taught him how to eat.' Reader Chris Bowen Jones had an equally horrifying experience recently: 'When a woman came to lunch the other day, she stabbed her meat with her fork and cut it with her knife, put the greasy knife down on the table, transferred her fork to her right hand and put the contents into her mouth. 'This was repeated continuously until her plate was empty. I didn't say a word, but if looks could kill, she won't be setting foot in my house again.' For Simon Horton, a lack of dining sophistication is unforgivable: 'Not knowing the difference between a demitasse spoon and a teaspoon.' However, for Sarah Kramer the ultimate sin is: 'When you cook someone a meal and they start eating before you've even sat down.' Few things kill the mood faster than a fussy eater – something Stuart Drummond learnt the hard way on a disastrous pub date: 'She decided there was absolutely nothing on the menu she could eat because it wouldn't be cooked exactly how her mother made it. I can't remember if she went entirely without or forced herself to eat a bag of crisps. 'Needless to say, I had a full steak-and-chips dinner. I never saw or spoke to her again after I dropped her home. Presumably, her mother has died now, and she's starved to death.' 'She walked with duck feet' However, for some readers, an ick isn't about a single habit or trait; it's simply who that person is. Robert Ireland has had it with oversized coffee cups: 'When she cradles her favourite mug in both hands, buries her face in it, and acts like a cute five-year-old warming up after a snowstorm. Grow up. Hold the handle with one hand and drink like an adult.' Lester Burnham's deal-breaker was all in the walk: 'Started chatting to a beautiful girl at a bar and all was going well until she went to the loo and I saw she walked with duck feet. Taxi for Lester.' Jo Walton has learnt to look away after nearly three decades of marriage: 'My husband does something that gives me the ick, but he's only started doing it relatively recently. After nearly 30 years, I just turn away when he uses his middle finger to type on his phone.' For Dee Bee, tattoos are an immediate turn-off: 'For things to even get as far as a first date, she'd have to pass the tattoo test. In other words – none. I can't understand why some women who are blessed with breathtaking natural beauty would want to vandalise themselves so. 'Obviously, this is purely a personal opinion, but permanent graffiti – even a teeny tiny one – on smooth and flawless skin would have me going straight for the eject handle.' Tom Morgan's sister had no appetite for her date's fashion faux pas: 'My sister lives in Virginia and was once taken on a date to a restaurant for New Year's Eve where every man, without exception, sported a baseball cap at the table. She felt unwell and left.' Tannith Rayment has an ever-growing list of icks: 'People who can only drive automatic – it just stinks of low goals and lack of faith in their own intelligence. Anyone not wearing socks with shoes, unless they are sandals. 'An ex failed to do this, and his trainers stank so badly we had to leave them in the porch. I can't contain the horror. Men with long, yellowed nails give me serial killer vibes. And anyone taking a 'comfort break' – it's such an irritating affectation.' For Emma Weisblatt's mother, one small moment was enough to end a relationship: 'I remember my mum telling me about the boyfriend she had before she met my dad. She had intended to marry him, but one evening he bent over to pick up something she had dropped, and something about his body posture instantly revolted her. And that was that.' Jo Random couldn't overlook one major hygiene issue: 'It was goodbye from me when the man I was dating left his sweaty running top out to dry (without washing it) so he could wear it the next day.' For Pip Macaulay, a long-time crush turned into instant regret: 'It was the mid-1980s. I'd had the hots for this young man all through sixth form, admiring him from a distance and blushing furiously every time he caught my eye. Finally, he asked me out on a date and arrived at my home in his cousin's green Ford Capri – wearing a stupid pork-pie hat. Ick.'
Telegraph
27-02-2025
- Entertainment
- Telegraph
‘I couldn't cope with her holding her fork like a toddler'. What's your ‘ick'?
It starts with promise – a great date, engaging conversation, a shared laugh. Then, in an instant, something shifts. He claps when the aircraft lands. He calls his mum 'Mummy'. He eats a Kit Kat without breaking the fingers apart. Suddenly, the attraction vanishes. This is the ick, and for women, it's apparently far more common than it is for men. Having been mentioned on programmes such as Ally McBeal and Sex and the City and popularised by Love Island contestants in 2017, the term describes a sudden wave of revulsion towards a romantic interest, often sparked by something trivial. Now, new research from Azusa Pacific University in California suggests that this gut reaction isn't just about picky dating habits – it's an evolutionary tool. The study, published in Personality and Individual Differences, found 75 per cent of female participants reporting instances of it compared with 57 per cent of men. Researchers argue that this is because women are biologically wired to assess potential mates for long-term compatibility more critically. The ick, they suggest, is a 'rapid rejection mechanism' – a way of instinctively weeding out unsuitable partners before things get serious. And what are the biggest ick triggers? Some are predictable: poor hygiene, misogynistic comments, awkward social behaviour. But others are surprisingly specific: licking a finger before turning a page, using a baby voice, running after a ping-pong ball, ordering the soup of the day, a personalised number plate. One woman recalled ending things after spotting a man's 'bum cleavage' when he bent over. For men, on the other hand, icks tend to focus more on physical appearance: too much make-up, bad fake tan, or certain fashion choices. But is the ick always justified? Psychologists say it's a mix of instinct, personal preference and societal conditioning. Some people grow out of it, while for others, once it strikes, there's no turning back. So, if you find yourself recoiling at your date's choice of ringtone or excessive emoji use, science says it's not just you being picky – it may be evolution doing its job. Here, people confess the exact moment they knew their relationship was doomed: The roll-neck deal breaker – Sarah, 33, journalist 'Met him at a press do – handsome, kind, intelligent, older and more grown up than I usually went for. He asked me out on a date, then he turned up in a roll-neck sweater. I can't explain it, but I immediately felt like I was dating an off-duty magician. I was out.' Baby talk gone wrong – Emma, 29, lawyer 'Third date, he puts on a baby voice and says, 'Do you weally, weally want it?' when the waiter asked if we wanted dessert. It was creepy mixed with a side of psychopath. I was so horrified I just blurted out, 'Actually, no, I don't,' and practically ran out of the restaurant.' The popcorn chewer – Becky, 31, marketing manager ' We went to the cinema, and he chewed popcorn one kernel at a time. Who does that? Ick!' Sockless and hopeless – Jessica, 28, personal trainer ' We'd been locking eyes at the gym for weeks and he finally asked me out and I looked down to see he wasn't wearing socks with his trainers. My mind went straight to filthy toenails and slimy, sweaty feet. I made my excuses. Instant ick.' The money mansplainer – Helen, 45, accountant 'We met on a dating app. He looked handsome in a 'Pierce Brosnan at a vineyard' kind of way. Then, over dinner, he leant in, twinkled condescendingly, and began explaining how I should get a Lifetime ISA and how, if I saved really hard, I too could one day afford a house like his. I own two houses and a holiday home in France. I let him finish his TED Talk on compound interest, smiled sweetly, and when the bill came, I paid in full – just so I could watch his face as I strolled out, never to return.' The 'Babe' overload – Ryan, 33, journalist 'She called me 'Babe' 47 times in one dinner. Yes I counted – and then left.' The beige chinos incident – Hannah, 27, artist 'He wore beige chinos on our first dinner date. That's it. That was the ick. Not even a rogue coffee stain or a playful cuff roll to save him – just crisp, unyielding beige. The kind that says, 'I have a favourite screwdriver,' and, 'Shall we pop to Homebase this weekend?' I saw my future flash before my eyes: Sunday afternoons discussing grout. I left before the mains arrived.' The Porsche key ring guy – Alice, 42, PR consultant 'He had a Porsche key ring even though he drove a Golf. Ick!' The drunk 'woo' girl – Ben, 51, doctor 'She 'wooed' at a waiter carrying a tray of cocktails, then again when a song she liked came on. The final straw? She 'wooed' at a street lamp because 'it looked lonely'.' The filthy bathroom – Rachel, 30, events planner ' After a few romantic dates, he invited me over to his place for dinner. He'd cooked an incredible meal, everything seemed perfect – until I used his downstairs loo. It hadn't been cleaned and there were, er, marks. I made my excuses and left. Some things you can't unsee.' The 'Careless Whisper' ringtone – Jess, 30, teacher 'He seemed completely normal, nice guy… and then his phone rang. Careless Whisper. Maybe it was ironic? Nope. He let it ring, closed his eyes, and whispered, 'Such a great song.' The ick hit me at the sax solo.' The cutlery clash – Chris, 27, lawyer 'She held her fork in a fist like a toddler and stabbed her food. I couldn't concentrate on the conversation.' The lip-reader – Tom, 33, IT consultant 'Her lips moved when she read her book. One night, I caught myself staring at her slow-moving lips and knew it was done.' The mummy's boy – Jane, 45, chiropodist 'He told me his mother still did his cleaning and ironing – every week. He was 46.'
Los Angeles Times
19-02-2025
- Entertainment
- Los Angeles Times
This L.A. welder hosts coffin parties — but she does so much more to celebrate living
The coffin, a life-size wood-and-iron box, sits in the middle of Kate Mueller's living room as if in preparation for a wake, but its intricate details — drawers, windows, an elaborate hand-carved bronze clasp and decorative bracing along the top — hint at something more. 'I can see that it looks extremely religious,' says the 34-year-old artist and welder. 'But that is not what I was going for.' Mueller built the coffin in 2012 during her senior year at Azusa Pacific University using reclaimed wood from the theater department's dumpster. Like many college seniors preparing to launch into adulthood, Mueller says she was 'unconsciously processing the dread of leaving school and not having a clear idea of what life would look like.' Creating the coffin was a deeply personal and introspective journey for Mueller. Even after 13 years, she still holds an emotional attachment to it, despite lugging it up flights of stairs and transporting it all over Los Angeles. 'That is when everything clicked in furniture making for me,' she says of building the coffin. 'The biggest source of joy is exploring materials and trying to push it in so many different ways.' The unexpected use of the coffin as a coffee table adds a touch of humor. Mueller's husband, actor-filmmaker-personal trainer Guile Branco, says they have fun with the gothic home decor. 'When the cable guy came, we didn't tell him about the coffin, and he was shocked when he walked into our living room,' he says, laughing. 'It's a great place to store blankets and pillows,' Mueller adds. Mueller was born and raised in Oxnard. The daughter of a pastor, she grew up in an insulated, religious family and was homeschooled. But even a pastor's daughter can grapple with faith. 'From a very early age, I knew that what seemed to be clicking for everyone else just didn't seem to be clicking with me,' she says. She tried to be religious. When she saw an online job posting to teach English to a handful of orphans and nuns in Romania, she took the position. 'I think joining a monastery permitted me to move on,' she says. When the job ended, she went to Spain and walked the Camino de Santiago. 'I was trying to find God,' she says of the famous pilgrimage. 'I had a loving, religious upbringing, but it was complicated.' Upon her return, Mueller moved to Los Angeles, a place that seemed 'tame and reasonable' after her experiences in Romania. While working as a salesperson at a small family-run furniture store, she learned to weld and sharpen her building skills during off hours. 'I had been a woodworker and building things for two years, but learning how to weld was a gift,' she says. 'You can build much grander things and make them stable and safe. It made me feel very powerful.' When the store closed in 2019, the owners gave her the welder and assorted building materials. While working at her next job as a project manager for another artist (that gig ended this month), Mueller started welding in her backyard in Van Nuys. The couple's home is filled with Mueller's photographs and furnishings, including stools made with reclaimed wood, side tables made from wood cutoffs and an A. Lietz Co. antique drafting table base with a top she reimagined with inlaid wood. And of course, the coffin-turned-coffee table. Her high-backed porter chair, a chamberlike structure, features a mirrored kaleidoscope roof that offers the viewer Kusama-esque infinity patterns when seated inside. The chair, with its intricate design and meditative purpose, emphasizes Mueller's ability to create unique, immersive experiences. Sitting inside the porter chair, which references the constellations and specifically the brightest star, Sirius, has a meditative quality and is a different experience for everyone. 'That's the magic of the mirrors,' says Mueller. 'That's why mirrors are tied to other astral planes in many different cultures — they transport you to another place.' With the help of Branco, Mueller recently started installing large-scale welded steel geometric sculptures on beaches in Oxnard, Santa Monica and, most recently, Dockweiler State Beach. For each installation, she invites the public to come and experience the sculptures and observe the way they frame the ocean and interact with the tide. When Mueller was growing up, her parents would open their home to whoever needed a place to stay during the holidays. 'So over the years, our house has become a place where we host people on Thanksgiving and Christmas,' she says. 'When Thanksgiving was approaching this year, it seemed like the best gift for anyone coming to our house was to go outside. So I made a picnic and invited everyone to come to Santa Monica and experience my installation.' To their surprise, so many strangers on the beach interacted with the sculptures on Thanksgiving that they weren't able to leave until after dark. 'People were having fun,' Branco says. 'It's nice to think that Kate's sculptures will end up in someone's family photos.' Mueller describes the interactive beach installations as 'a love letter to humanity and nature.' Some people walk through them. Others take selfies as the sculptures frame the sunset. A few have tried to do pullups. Ultimately, however, the installations are about connection. 'They are meant to create a sense of community through our collective awe of nature,' Mueller says. 'It emphasizes how we are all connected. Humans have been gathering in nature and sharing rituals since the beginning of time.' Experiencing the constant interplay of shapes and groups in person can throw you off balance, according to her friend and mentor, artist Leslie Lanxinger. 'The thing I love about Kate's work is that from a distance, her structures are beautiful, but when you get close, step inside her installations, there is a disconcerting feeling,' says Lanxinger. 'Kate has an incredible sensitivity with respect to her materials and the surroundings she chooses, and you feel a connection deep inside your body when you interact with her work.' Looking to the future, Mueller dreams of installing her steel-frame sculptures along the California coastline, a project she's dubbed 'The String of Life That Connects All Things.' She also plans to continue making coffins. Over the years, she has hosted several 'coffin parties,' where she invites guests to lie in the coffin and contemplate their mortality. At her last event, which referenced the Buddhist practice of maraṇasati, or a mindfulness meditation on death, people waited in line to experience the coffin. 'Kate is such a unique artist in the way that her creations have the ability to connect you with something more,' death doula Jill Schock said by email. The two hosted a coffin party together in September and Mueller is open to hosting private coffin parties for others. 'Whether that's your mortality through her handmade coffins or the humbling aspects of nature through her delicate frames on the beach, her work is truly spiritual.' Mueller's next porter chair will have a crown of gnarled bamboo roots she found on the beach in Oxnard. 'There will be Plexiglas, so if you're sitting inside, you'll cast light and shadows that interact with the environment.' Beyond that, she sees the future in a constant state of flux. 'You can count on everything to change,' she says in between welding and sanding a steel frame in her backyard. It's a statement that fills her with hope as much as anxiety. 'I like thinking of those words as an antidote to my anxious mind,' she adds quietly. In talking with Mueller, she repeatedly uses the word 'gift' to explain her artistic path, perhaps partly because seeing people interact with her work has touched her profoundly. 'I've never had people thank me for my art before, and that's what happened to me with these installations,' she says. 'I like the idea of creating a space where you would continually feel safe, no matter where you are. I want to leave that to posterity.'
Yahoo
26-01-2025
- Science
- Yahoo
Archaeologists Decipher Text on Ancient Roman Boundary Stone
Scientists have deciphered a Roman boundary stone inscribed with Greek text which was recently discovered in northern Israel, according to a study published in the journal Palestine Exploration Quarterly. Archaeologists Naama Yahalom-Mack, Nava Panitz-Cohen, and Robert Mullins from Azusa Pacific University uncovered the rare item, known as a Tetrarch boundary stone, at the former site of Abel Beth Maacah, a biblical city which held particular significance for Israelites and Canaanites. The stone was originally used to delineate agricultural borders between the villages under Roman Emperor Diocletian's tax reform laws instituted during the Roman Tetrarchy's brief reign of power. After the inscription was deciphered, researchers found the names of two previously unknown towns in the text — Tirthas and Golgol. They're exploring a theory that Tirthas and Golgol might be two of the unnamed villages identified in the 19th-century Survey of Western Palestine. The text also refers to a 'censitor,' a Roman taxation official, marking the first time the phrase has been seen by modern eyes. The remarkable discoveries have vast implications for expanding knowledge of the geography and socio-economic status of the ancient region. They're particularly significant for what they signify about the sweeping tax reforms under Diocletian, which changed the structure of land ownership in the region. 'This discovery is a testament to the meticulous administrative re-organization of the Roman Empire during the Tetrarchy,' Leibner said. 'Finding a boundary stone like this not only sheds light on ancient land ownership and taxation but also provides a tangible connection to the lives of individuals who navigated these complex systems nearly two millennia ago.'The stone was discovered by Yahalom-Mack and Panitz-Cohen from the Institute of Archaeology at the Hebrew University, and Mullins from Azusa Pacific University. The text was deciphered by Ecker and Leibner of the Hebrew University. It's one of 20 boundary stones found in surrounding areas in recent years, which researchers say speaks to the number of independent farmers operating in rural areas during that period. 'The territory was probably filled with fields and farms owned by small landholders who paid their taxes independently of the city, providing insight into the complex relationship between taxation, land ownership, and settlement history,' they wrote in the study.
