Latest news with #Banksying
Time of India
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Time of India
Move over ghosting and breadcrumbing—‘Banksying' is the coldest breakup trend you didn't see coming
A new term is making its way into the vocabulary of modern dating—and it's not one that inspires much hope. The phenomenon, called 'Banksying,' is drawing attention for its emotionally manipulative nature, where one partner checks out of a relationship long before saying a word, leaving the other stunned and heartbroken when the breakup finally comes. Coined in reference to the enigmatic street artist Banksy—known for his unexpected, self-destructive art—the term describes a breakup that unfolds quietly, emotionally, and one-sidedly. Much like the famous Banksy painting that shredded itself moments after being auctioned for $1.4 million, Banksying is a process of slow emotional sabotage. But in this case, the canvas is a relationship. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like Walgreens Hides This Cheap 87¢ Generic Viagra from Seniors – Here's Why fridayplans Learn More Undo The term was recently spotlighted in a USA Today report, which described Banksying as a uniquely unsettling way to end a relationship—one that is marked by ambiguity, avoidance, and emotional withdrawal disguised as normalcy. 'The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance,' said Amy Chan, dating coach and author of Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart, in her comments to USA Today. Live Events An emotional slow fade, not a clean break Unlike ghosting—which is abrupt and unmistakable—Banksying is more covert. It involves subtle changes: decreased affection, vague excuses, emotional distancing. The partner doing the Banksying will often continue going through the motions, assuring everything is fine, even while emotionally withdrawing behind the scenes. This silent unraveling leaves the other person in a state of confusion, often doubting their own instincts. 'Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another,' Emma Hathorn, relationship expert at told USA Today. 'Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out.' The emotional toll comes not just from the breakup itself, but from the way it unfolds. The ambiguity makes it harder to process and grieve. 'They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance,' Chan told USA Today. 'Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite.' What Banksying reveals about modern dating culture In an era where conflict avoidance is rampant and communication often filtered through screens, Banksying reflects a broader trend of emotional unavailability and discomfort with directness. 'It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become,' Chan told USA Today. 'It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out.' The rise of dating apps and swipe culture may be feeding into this behavior, normalizing poor communication and low accountability in romantic relationships. Relationship experts say the answer lies in having the courage to be honest—even when it's difficult. 'Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty,' Hathorn said to USA Today. 'Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time.' Banksying is less about artistic flair and more about emotional cowardice—a trend that leaves behind confusion instead of closure. And for the person on the receiving end, that can feel like the worst kind of heartbreak: one they never saw coming.
Yahoo
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This dating trend could leave you alone and confused. What is 'banksying'?
The Brief Banksying is a new dating trend where one person slowly fades out of a relationship without direct communication, leaving the other confused. The term comes from the elusive street artist Banksy, whose work appears and disappears suddenly — just like the people using this tactic. Relationship experts say Banksying is a passive way to avoid accountability and emotional responsibility, calling it a coward's way out. NEW YORK - There's a new dating trend that could leave you confused, abandoned, and refreshing your texts in emotional limbo. First it was ghosting. Then breadcrumbing. Now singles are dealing with something slipperier, a slow, sneaky fade-out called "banksying." "It's an old trick with a new name." Relationship Expert Susan Winter And while the name sounds artistic, the reality feels more like emotional vandalism. The trend borrows its name from the mysterious British street artist known for his surprise pop-up murals that seem to appear and disappear without warning. The dating version follows a similar pattern. "Banksying is backpedaling while you breadcrumb into a slow fade," said relationship expert Susan Winter. "You are exiting the relationship slowly but not to held guilty or responsible. It doesn't allow for closure and it doesn't allow for communication." Unlike ghosting, where someone abruptly cuts contact, "banksying" is a quiet pullback. Responses get shorter. Plans get pushed. The energy shifts. But when questioned, the person dodges any clear answers. "It is the perfect tool for somebody that hates to communicate and hates to be responsible for their part of the relationship," Winter said. While some might see it as a soft exit, Winter says it is often more damaging than ghosting because it creates confusion, delays closure, and erodes self-worth over time. "If this trend is getting popular, like it should just stop immediately, because it doesn't make sense," one New Yorker said. Technology only adds to the problem. With texts and dating apps, it is easier than ever to stretch out a breakup while avoiding a real conversation. "A text means I can craft my answer. I can pretend I didn't understand you. I can take time to think things through," Winter said. "But in real life we have real emotions that come to the surface, and we are more spontaneous." So what should you do if you think you are being Banksied? Winter says clarity is your best weapon. "Just ask for clarification. Say, I really haven't talked to you. I don't know what's going on. You can be honest with me," she said. "Nobody's bad or wrong, just communicate." And if the other person still fades out, Winter says to take it as a sign. "This is how they communicate. If you want to get to conflict resolution, it is never going to happen with this person." Or as one man put it bluntly, "I think you should treat people the way that you would want to be treated." If the person you're dating begins to disappear one unanswered text at a time, don't assume you've lost your chance at love. Chances are, you've just sidestepped a slow fade into emotional nowhere. The Source This report is based on information from Relationship Expert Susan Winter.
Yahoo
7 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This new dating trend is leaving people baffled and heartbroken. It's called ‘Banksying'
Look out, daters: There's a new toxic relationship trend taking the romantic world by storm. It's called "Banksying," and it derives its name from the elusive street artist Banksy, known for art that seems to pop up out of nowhere and often comes with a cryptic twist. Like a baffling Banksy art piece, "Banksying" in a relationship involves slowly withdrawing emotionally from your partner, without telling them that's what you're doing. When the time comes to finally break up, the "Banksy-er" often feels better, having mentally checked out of the relationship long ago, while the other partner is left blindsided and confused. When someone "Banksies," they start to destroy the relationship before the other person sees it coming. Some of Banksy's art has famously self-destructed − like one painting that made headlines for shredding itself after selling at auction for $1.4 million. Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," says "Banskying" has been happening for a while − it just has a trendy name now. The solution, she says, is to practice open and honest communication, even when doing so feels uncomfortable. What health & wellness means for you: Sign up for USA TODAY's Keeping It Together newsletter "'Banksying' happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette," Chan says. "The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance." Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert at says "Banksying" leaves daters feeling stressed, confused and gaslit. Often the person on the receiving end can sense something is wrong, but their partner keeps assuring them everything is fine. "Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another," Hathorn says. "Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out. Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant – there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it." What makes "Banksying" so painful, Chan says, is its ambiguity. At least when someone ghosts, it's clear they've abandoned the relationship. With "Banksying," however, people are often left in the dark, wondering if the relationship is actually solid or if their concerns about it are justified. "They might not be using their words to tell you – but their actions are," Chan says. "They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite." In case you missed: People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts Ultimately, the prevalence of "Banksying" further shows how the skills of dating − as well as the skills of breaking up − have degraded in recent years. "It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become," Chan says. "It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out." Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'? It might be why you're still single The solution? Instead of Banksying, tell the person you're dating how you really feel. It's not the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. "Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty," Hathorn says. "Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time." This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Banksying' is a toxic new dating trend. What is it?
Yahoo
7 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This new dating trend is leaving people baffled and heartbroken. It's called ‘Banksying.'
Look out, daters: There's a new toxic relationship trend taking the romantic world by storm. It's called "Banksying," and it derives its name from the elusive street artist Banksy, known for art that seems to pop up out of nowhere and often comes with a cryptic twist. Like a baffling Banksy art piece, "Banksying" in a relationship involves slowly withdrawing emotionally from your partner, without telling them that's what you're doing. When the time comes to finally break up, the "Banksy-er" often feels better, having mentally checked out of the relationship long ago, while the other partner is left blindsided and confused. When someone "Banksies," they start to destroy the relationship before the other person sees it coming. Some of Banksy's art has famously self-destructed − like one painting that made headlines for shredding itself after selling at auction for $1.4 million. Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," says "Banskying" has been happening for a while − it just has a trendy name now. The solution, she says, is to practice open and honest communication, even when doing so feels uncomfortable. What health & wellness means for you: Sign up for USA TODAY's Keeping It Together newsletter "'Banksying' happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette," Chan says. "The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance." Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert at says "Banksying" leaves daters feeling stressed, confused and gaslit. Often the person on the receiving end can sense something is wrong, but their partner keeps assuring them everything is fine. "Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another," Hathorn says. "Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out. Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant – there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it." What makes "Banksying" so painful, Chan says, is its ambiguity. At least when someone ghosts, it's clear they've abandoned the relationship. With "Banksying," however, people are often left in the dark, wondering if the relationship is actually solid or if their concerns about it are justified. "They might not be using their words to tell you – but their actions are," Chan says. "They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite." In case you missed: People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up. Ultimately, the prevalence of "Banksying" further shows how the skills of dating − as well as the skills of breaking up − have degraded in recent years. "It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become," Chan says. "It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out." Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'? It might be why you're still single. The solution? Instead of Banksying, tell the person you're dating how you really feel. It's not the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. "Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty," Hathorn says. "Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time." This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Banksying' is a toxic new dating trend. What is it?
Yahoo
09-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
This new dating trend is leaving people baffled and heartbroken. It's called ‘Banksying.'
Look out, daters: There's a new toxic relationship trend taking the romantic world by storm. It's called "Banksying," and it derives its name from the elusive street artist Banksy, known for art that seems to pop up out of nowhere and often comes with a cryptic twist. Like a baffling Banksy art piece, "Banksying" in a relationship involves slowly withdrawing emotionally from your partner, without telling them that's what you're doing. When the time comes to finally break up, the "Banksy-er" often feels better, having mentally checked out of the relationship long ago, while the other partner is left blindsided and confused. When someone "Banksies," they start to destroy the relationship before the other person sees it coming. Some of Banksy's art has famously self-destructed − like one painting that made headlines for shredding itself after selling at auction for $1.4 million. Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," says "Banskying" has been happening for a while − it just has a trendy name now. The solution, she says, is to practice open and honest communication, even when doing so feels uncomfortable. What health & wellness means for you: Sign up for USA TODAY's Keeping It Together newsletter "'Banksying' happens more now, especially with the proliferation of dating apps, where people have developed poor dating etiquette," Chan says. "The person withdrawing gets the ability to process the breakup on their own terms, before they hand the memo to the other person who ends up being in total shock. It's selfish. It shows a lack of emotional maturity and a way of dealing with conflict that is rooted in avoidance." Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert at says "Banksying" leaves daters feeling stressed, confused and gaslit. Often the person on the receiving end can sense something is wrong, but their partner keeps assuring them everything is fine. "Banksying is something that we have all experienced at one point or another," Hathorn says. "Previously, there hasn't been a way to express that subtle feeling of dread when a partner has begun to pull away, essentially icing us out. Emotionally manipulative, emotionally distant – there are plenty of ways that people have tried to define it." What makes "Banksying" so painful, Chan says, is its ambiguity. At least when someone ghosts, it's clear they've abandoned the relationship. With "Banksying," however, people are often left in the dark, wondering if the relationship is actually solid or if their concerns about it are justified. "They might not be using their words to tell you – but their actions are," Chan says. "They might lie and say everything is 'fine' but you also have to exert that you're not 'fine' because you can pick up the cues of emotional distance. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking it's OK to sweep the cold behavior under the rug just because they're saying everything is fine, but acting in a way that's completely the opposite." In case you missed: People are paying thousands for 'dating boot camp' with sex experts. I signed up. Ultimately, the prevalence of "Banksying" further shows how the skills of dating − as well as the skills of breaking up − have degraded in recent years. "It does highlight how conflict-avoidant people have become," Chan says. "It seems like there's less of an ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and hard conversations, so instead of dealing with the relationship challenges, or feeling the guilt of a breakup, people end up causing more harm by dragging things out." Have you heard of 'relation-shopping'? It might be why you're still single. The solution? Instead of Banksying, tell the person you're dating how you really feel. It's not the easy thing to do, but it is the right thing to do. "Modern dating is in desperate need of blunt honesty," Hathorn says. "Being upfront, firm but polite shows that you know what you want and are unwilling to waste your time and a potential partner's time." This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'Banksying' is a toxic new dating trend. What is it?
