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Here Are All The Ways You're Falling Short As A Spouse
Here Are All The Ways You're Falling Short As A Spouse

Yahoo

time2 days ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

Here Are All The Ways You're Falling Short As A Spouse

Marriage isn't a static institution; it's a dynamic partnership that requires continuous effort, understanding, and adaptation. While love may be the foundation, the daily actions and choices you make are the bricks that build or erode that foundation. It's easy to fall into patterns that, over time, can create distance between you and your partner. Recognizing and addressing these habits is crucial to nurturing a healthy, fulfilling relationship. It's natural to have multiple responsibilities—children, work, friends—but consistently placing these above your spouse can lead to feelings of neglect. Your partner needs to feel valued and prioritized in your life. Neglecting this can create emotional distance and resentment. According to giving precedence to others over your spouse is a common mistake that can strain the relationship. To counteract this, make intentional efforts to spend quality time together, even amidst a busy schedule. Simple gestures like regular date nights or daily check-ins can reinforce your commitment. Remember, a strong partnership provides a stable foundation for all other aspects of life. By prioritizing your spouse, you reinforce the importance of your bond. Dodging uncomfortable topics doesn't make issues disappear; it often exacerbates them. Avoidance can lead to misunderstandings and unresolved tensions. Open communication, even when challenging, is essential for mutual understanding and growth. Addressing concerns head-on fosters trust and prevents resentment from building. Initiate conversations with empathy and a willingness to listen. Set aside dedicated time to discuss matters without distractions. Approach discussions with the goal of finding solutions together. Remember, it's not about winning an argument but about strengthening your connection. Physical closeness is vital, but emotional intimacy forms the core of a deep, lasting relationship. Neglecting to share feelings, dreams, and vulnerabilities can create a chasm between partners. Emotional disconnect often precedes physical distance. As explained by BetterHelp, building emotional intimacy involves active listening, empathy, and shared experiences. Engage in regular, meaningful conversations beyond daily logistics. Express appreciation and acknowledge your partner's emotions. Create rituals that foster connection, like evening walks or weekly check-ins. By nurturing emotional closeness, you reinforce the foundation of your relationship. Over time, it's easy to become complacent and assume your partner will always be there. This mindset can lead to neglecting the small acts of kindness and appreciation that keep love alive. As highlighted by Psychology Today, taking your partner for granted can erode the relationship's vitality and lead to neglecting the small acts of kindness and appreciation that keep love alive. Regularly expressing gratitude and recognition is essential. Make a conscious effort to acknowledge your partner's contributions and qualities. Simple gestures like saying "thank you" or leaving a thoughtful note can make a significant impact. Celebrate milestones and everyday moments alike. By showing appreciation, you affirm your partner's value in your life. Effective communication is more than just talking; it's about understanding and being understood. Miscommunication can lead to conflicts and feelings of isolation. Listening actively and expressing yourself clearly are crucial skills. Improving communication involves empathy, patience, and clarity. Practice active listening by giving your full attention and reflecting on what's said. Avoid interrupting or formulating responses while your partner is speaking. Use "I" statements to express feelings without assigning blame. Regularly check in with each other to maintain open lines of communication. A successful marriage requires flexibility and a willingness to meet halfway. Insisting on having things your way can create imbalance and resentment. As explained by Psychology Today, compromise demonstrates respect and consideration for your partner's needs and perspectives. It's not about losing but about finding solutions that work for both. Approach disagreements with an open mind and a collaborative spirit. Identify common goals and values to guide your decisions. Be willing to make concessions and adapt when necessary. Remember, mutual satisfaction strengthens the partnership. Personal development isn't just beneficial for you; it enriches your relationship. Stagnation can lead to dissatisfaction and boredom. Pursuing growth shows a commitment to being the best version of yourself for your partner. Self-improvement enhances relationship satisfaction and resilience. Engage in activities that challenge and inspire you. Seek feedback and be open to change. Support your partner's growth endeavors as well. A relationship where both individuals evolve fosters mutual respect and admiration. Showing disinterest or belittling your partner's hobbies can create emotional distance. Even if their passions don't align with yours, acknowledging and supporting them is vital. Shared enthusiasm strengthens bonds and fosters mutual respect. Your partner's interests are part of their identity; embracing them shows acceptance. Take time to learn about what excites your partner. Attend events or engage in activities related to their interests. Encourage their pursuits and celebrate their achievements. By valuing their passions, you deepen your connection. Harboring resentment can poison a relationship over time. Unresolved issues fester, leading to bitterness and emotional withdrawal. Forgiveness is essential for healing and moving forward. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting but choosing peace over prolonged conflict. Address grievances promptly and constructively. Communicate your feelings and work towards resolution together. Practice empathy and try to understand your partner's perspective. By releasing grudges, you free your relationship from unnecessary burdens. Physical connection is a vital component of a romantic relationship. Neglecting intimacy can lead to feelings of rejection and disconnection. Regular affection reinforces love and commitment. It's not solely about sex but also about touch, closeness, and shared moments. Prioritize physical affection in your daily routine. Hold hands, hug, and share kisses regularly. Discuss your needs and desires openly to ensure mutual satisfaction. Maintaining physical intimacy nurtures emotional bonds. Criticizing or belittling your partner in front of others can damage trust and self-esteem. Such behavior erodes respect and can create lasting wounds. Disagreements should be handled privately and respectfully. Public support reinforces unity and solidarity. Be mindful of your words and actions in social settings. Highlight your partner's strengths and achievements. Address concerns in private, focusing on constructive dialogue. By standing by your partner publicly, you strengthen your alliance. A balanced division of tasks fosters equality and mutual respect. Consistently shirking responsibilities can lead to resentment and burnout. Collaborating on household and family duties reinforces partnership. Shared efforts demonstrate commitment and care. Discuss and delineate responsibilities openly, ensuring both partners feel the division is fair. Be willing to adjust roles as circumstances change. Recognize and appreciate each other's contributions regularly. By sharing responsibilities, you build a stronger, more cohesive partnership. Believing that you must handle all marital issues alone can be detrimental. Sometimes, external guidance provides new perspectives and solutions. Seeking help is a sign of strength and commitment to the relationship. Ignoring persistent problems can lead to deeper rifts. Consider couples therapy or counseling when challenges feel insurmountable. Engage in workshops or read relationship literature together. Openly discuss the idea of seeking help with your partner, emphasizing mutual growth. Proactively addressing issues demonstrates dedication to nurturing your marriage.

Online Trauma Therapy: Healing from Home
Online Trauma Therapy: Healing from Home

Health Line

time3 days ago

  • General
  • Health Line

Online Trauma Therapy: Healing from Home

Key Takeaways 26% of respondents to a Healthline survey about online therapy report seeking therapeutic help for trauma No matter how you identify, your age, or time since trauma(s), research shows teletherapy is effective for trauma if your rapport with the therapist is strong According to Healthline's mental health survey, BetterHelp is the top choice for trauma therapy Most know online therapy can be helpful for couples counseling, general anxiety, even phobias, or concerning behavioral traits, but does it work for healing after living through trauma? Where do you turn when in-person isn't your best option, but you need help for post-traumatic stress? Our expert and two individuals managing PTSD explain why online trauma therapy is not only a thing, but can often be the safest place to maintain healing. Plus, we're sharing 7 vetted and proven services to start or continue online therapy.

14 Self-Destructive Habits You Don't Realize Are Holding You Back
14 Self-Destructive Habits You Don't Realize Are Holding You Back

Yahoo

time4 days ago

  • General
  • Yahoo

14 Self-Destructive Habits You Don't Realize Are Holding You Back

We all like to think we're self-aware, but the truth is, most of us are quietly sabotaging our lives in ways we don't even see. It's not the big, dramatic mistakes that hold you back—it's the small, insidious habits that chip away at your confidence, your relationships, and your potential day after day. These habits are sneaky because they feel normal, even protective, but they're keeping you stuck in patterns you're desperate to break. The first step to changing your life? Seeing the ways you're getting in your own way. This list isn't here to shame you—it's here to shine a light on the things you might not even realize you're doing. Because once you see the pattern, you can start to break it. Here are 14 self-destructive habits that are holding you back—and how to stop them from running your life. You imagine what everyone will think if you do the thing—and then you don't do it. That fear of judgment controls you according to Better Help, even though most people are too busy with their own lives to care as much as you think they do. And even if they do judge you—so what? Their opinions don't pay your bills, heal your heart, or build your dreams. Let them talk. Let them misunderstand. Let them be uncomfortable. Your life isn't about their comfort—it's about your freedom. You tell yourself you're just waiting for the 'right time' or that you'll tackle it 'when you feel ready,' but deep down, it's fear masquerading as perfectionism. You avoid the things that matter most—your creative work, your big dreams, your real goals—because the stakes feel too high. And in the meantime, you fill your days with low-stakes busywork that makes you feel productive but doesn't move the needle. Procrastination isn't just a bad habit—it's a way of staying safe in the shallow end. The antidote? Start before you're ready. It won't be perfect, but done is better than perfect. And the more you take action, the less power fear has over you. You dim your light, soften your wins, and shrink your dreams so you don't make anyone else feel insecure. It feels polite, but it's actually a slow form of self-erasure. The world doesn't need your half-version—it needs your full, unapologetic self. Playing small doesn't protect your relationships—it just teaches people you're willing to disappear. Take up space, it's an essential skill for a fulfilling life according to Psychology Today. That discomfort isn't your problem. Your job is to live fully, not to manage other people's feelings. And the people who can handle your fullness? They're your real tribe. You think if you just explain it better—if you give enough context, if you justify every decision, if you make it make sense—then people won't judge you. But they will. And the truth is, over-explaining doesn't prevent judgment—it invites it. You're not here to convince people to accept you. Let people misunderstand you. Let them think what they want. Your worth isn't up for debate, and your time isn't for endless justification. Stop over-explaining and start living. Every time you say yes to something that drains you, you're saying no to the life you actually want. It feels easier in the moment to avoid conflict, disappointment, or guilt—but that yes piles up, leaving you overwhelmed, resentful, and burnt out. You're teaching people that your time and energy are negotiable, when they're not and this is classic people-pleasing according to the experts at Psych Central. Start practicing 'No' without apology, explanation, or guilt. It's uncomfortable at first—but it's freedom. Your peace is worth the awkward pause. And the more you say no to what doesn't fit, the more space you'll have for what does. When you minimize your feelings, you're telling yourself that your emotional reality doesn't matter. It might feel like you're being rational or tough, but what you're really doing is invalidating your own experience—and that's a quiet form of self-abandonment. Your feelings are clues, not inconveniences. Ignoring them doesn't make them go away—it just makes them louder in ways you don't expect. Start treating your feelings like important data points, not distractions. You don't have to justify or explain them. You just have to feel them. And when you do, you'll stop betraying yourself. Scrolling, bingeing, drinking, overworking—it's all a way to avoid the discomfort of actually feeling. You tell yourself you're just 'unwinding' or 'distracting' yourself, but what you're really doing is avoiding the truth bubbling underneath. The more you numb, the less you know yourself. And that disconnection is the thief of progress and piles on more stress as Verywell Mind notes. Start catching yourself in the act. Ask, What am I avoiding by doing this? The feelings won't kill you—but avoiding them might kill your chance at a life that feels real. Let yourself feel. That's where freedom starts. You think once you feel confident, you'll finally go for the thing. But confidence doesn't show up first—it's the result of action, not the pre-requisite. Waiting for confidence is like waiting for permission that will never come. And every day you wait, you reinforce the belief that you're not ready. The truth? You're ready enough. Take messy, imperfect action now. Confidence will follow. But only if you stop waiting and start doing. You stay in jobs, relationships, and routines that drain you because they're safe, predictable, and known. Even if they make you miserable, they feel easier than stepping into the unknown. That's not loyalty—it's fear dressed up as comfort. And it's keeping you stuck in a life that doesn't fit. Familiarity isn't the same as belonging. You don't owe your future to your past. The life you want is on the other side of letting go. Stop clinging to what's comfortable and start reaching for what's possible. You think analyzing every possible outcome will protect you from making a mistake. But all it does is trap you in a cycle of indecision that burns energy and kills momentum. Overthinking isn't wisdom—it's fear in disguise. And it's a habit that steals your time, your confidence, and your joy. Decide faster. Learn as you go. There's no perfect path—just action, feedback, and course correction. Get out of your head and into your life. Every time you say 'sorry' when you're not at fault, you're shrinking your presence and making yourself smaller than you need to be. It's a subtle way of signaling that your needs, opinions, and space don't matter as much as everyone else's. And over time, it chips away at your confidence, making you feel like a burden instead of a person with worth. Apologizing excessively doesn't make you polite—it makes you invisible. Start noticing when you say sorry without cause—and stop. Replace it with 'thank you,' or just stay silent. Your voice deserves to take up space. And the more you own that, the less you'll feel the need to apologize for simply existing. You expect people to just know what you need—and then you resent them when they don't. But no one is a mind reader, and staying silent only guarantees that your needs stay unmet. You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate, not by what you wish for. If you don't speak up, you're co-signing your own invisibility. Start asking for what you need—clearly, calmly, and unapologetically. The right people will rise to meet you. The wrong ones will leave. Either way, you win. You feel valuable when you're busy, but empty when you slow down. You tie your sense of self to how much you achieve, produce, or check off your to-do list. But you're not a machine—you're a person. And your worth is not measured in output. You're worthy when you rest. You're worthy when you do nothing. You're worthy just because you are. Let that sink in—and watch how much freer you feel. You tell yourself you'll start the thing 'when you have time,' 'when you have more money,' 'when the timing is right'—but someday is an illusion. It's a trap that keeps you waiting for a life that's happening right now. The future isn't guaranteed. And the time to start is always, always today. Your life isn't on hold—you are. Let go of 'someday' and choose today. It's the only moment you can actually control. And it's the one that matters most.

Gen Z More Likely Than Boomers to Say People in Therapy Are 'Mentally Weak'
Gen Z More Likely Than Boomers to Say People in Therapy Are 'Mentally Weak'

Newsweek

time21-05-2025

  • Health
  • Newsweek

Gen Z More Likely Than Boomers to Say People in Therapy Are 'Mentally Weak'

Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Despite often being seen as more progressive, Gen Z is surprisingly more anti-therapy than many of their elders. A new report from BetterHelp reveals a generational divide exists when it comes to the stigma of therapy, and perhaps not in the way you'd expect. Why It Matters Demand for mental health therapy has been skyrocketing in recent years. The number of U.S. adults who received psychotherapy went up from 6.5 percent in 2018 to 8.5 percent in 2021, according to a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry this year. And while overall acceptance of therapy has been increasing in many social circles, Gen Z's view of the practice as "weak" may indicate the younger generation is becoming more skeptical when it comes to therapy. What To Know While national rates of therapy are increasing, Gen Z may be more critical of seeking help for mental health than previously believed. The age cohort, which consists of those born between 1997 and 2012, had a higher percentage, 37 percent, who said seeking counseling was "mentally weak" than the 27 percent of millennials, Gen Xers and baby boomers combined. This is despite the fact that globally and in the United States, Gen Zers are more than twice as likely as boomers to experience mild to moderate anxiety and almost four times as likely to experience severe anxiety, according to BetterHelp. Even among the Gen Zers who do go to therapy, not all are satisfied. Roughly 37 percent said their therapist doesn't understand them, and 33 percent said they fully don't trust their therapist. For those who do not go to therapy, 40 percent said cost is the main reason, and 29 percent said they do not think it will help or don't have the time. Students taking notes for a Fluence Psilocybin-Assisted Therapy certificate training program in Portland, Oregon, on May 9, 2023. Students taking notes for a Fluence Psilocybin-Assisted Therapy certificate training program in Portland, Oregon, on May 9, 2023. ROBYN BECK/AFP via Getty Images What People Are Saying HR consultant Bryan Driscoll, who specializes in generational dynamics, told Newsweek: "I don't want to pigeonhole or get too political, but I do think this stat tracks with broader themes. Gen Z is more progressive, broadly speaking, than their parents, sure, but not more than closer generations. A big chunk of Gen Z has been pulled into the conservative ideology running rampant online and in certain podcasts. It's no secret that conservatives have always treated mental health like a personal failure, not a legitimate issue. "When you combine that with toxic masculinity, bootstrap nonsense, and anti-science rhetoric, it's no wonder a growing number of young people now see therapy as weak." Jaime Bronstein, a licensed clinical social worker, licensed relationship therapist and author of MAN*ifesting, told Newsweek: "Gen Z has grown up with social media as their 'therapist,' so they feel they can get help from the digital world and 'therapize' themselves. They view therapy as a long, uncomfortable process, so they would rather learn from a YouTube video or one of their favorite influencers. In addition, some Gen Zers look at the cost of therapy and would rather spend their money elsewhere if they feel they can get help from less expensive sources." Alexandra Cromer, a licensed professional counselor with Thriveworks, told Newsweek: "Gen Z is the first generation to have grown up with the internet and access to many different opinions from around the world. While this is not inherently bad, the more opinions you are exposed to, your brain tends to categorize and lump into one, so if you're exposing yourself over and over again to one point of view, or one point of view seems to be relevant in your social media feeds and for you pages, this can influence mindsets. So if a lot of Gen Zers are getting the message 'seeking therapy makes you mentally weak,' their [For You Page] might start feeding them more of that content." What Happens Next Driscoll said that Gen Z grew up "watching society collapse," and instead of help, they were inundated with grind culture, gig work and influencers telling them to toughen up. "So now we've got a generation that desperately needs mental health care being told it's weak, unmanly, or fake. If this trend keeps up, we'll see more burnout, more isolation, and a workforce too ashamed to ask for help until it's too late. And businesses will pay the price in turnover, absenteeism, and disengagement," Driscoll said. Bronstein said there are long-term consequences to not going to therapy. "Suppose you don't process your emotions, and you're feeling depressed or anxious. In that case, you might retreat and become disconnected from society, which could lead to isolation, which is highly detrimental to one's mental health. Gen Z might feel like social media is helping. However, it usually acts as a band-aid, but doesn't uncover the deeper issues that need healing," Bronstein said.

13 Relationship Behaviors That Are Actually Power Plays in Disguise
13 Relationship Behaviors That Are Actually Power Plays in Disguise

Yahoo

time20-05-2025

  • General
  • Yahoo

13 Relationship Behaviors That Are Actually Power Plays in Disguise

Not all control looks like yelling or manipulation. Sometimes, power dynamics sneak in quietly, disguised as concern, politeness, or even love. These subtle behaviors often go unnoticed until the relationship feels more like a power struggle than a partnership. Whether it's emotional withdrawal, strategic silence, or constant 'help,' control can wear many masks. And if you constantly feel off-balance, second-guessing yourself, or trying to 'earn' safety in the relationship, these hidden power plays might be part of the reason. Here's what to watch for. According to BetterHelp, selective memory can sometimes be used as a defense mechanism where a person may intentionally "forget" certain events or information to avoid taking responsibility or to manipulate a situation. This behavior aligns with how someone might 'forget' important personal details you've shared, not out of genuine forgetfulness but as a way to control or dominate interactions. This selective memory isn't always innocent. Sometimes, forgetting is a way to reassert control by reminding you that your needs aren't the priority. When someone's memory is sharp everywhere except where it matters to you, that's not forgetfulness—it's dominance disguised as carelessness. They go cold for hours—or days—after an argument. No resolution, no closure, just silence that leaves you anxious and emotionally scrambling. It's less about processing and more about punishing. Withholding communication creates an imbalance of power. You're left guessing, apologizing, or over-functioning to restore peace. Silence isn't always passive—it can be a weapon. They go out of their way to do something for you, then later remind you of it like you owe them. That unsolicited favor turns into leverage. Suddenly, your gratitude is expected on demand. When help comes with strings attached, it's not generosity's a power move. True support doesn't keep receipts. But this kind of behavior ensures the scales of the relationship are always tilted in their favor. Research by Bo Feng and Eran Magen on Sage Journal shows that unsolicited help can frustrate recipients' psychological needs for autonomy and competence, leading to feelings of resentment and diminished well-being. A study published on PsyPost explains how unwanted help, especially when imposed without consent, can have lasting negative effects on the recipient's sense of autonomy and mental health. It starts as 'just teasing'—a light jab about your appearance, your quirks, your past. Everyone laughs, including them, while you sit frozen, humiliated. Later, they say you're being 'too sensitive.' Humor that hits a nerve isn't harmless—it's a disguised dig. Making you the punchline in front of others is a calculated way to assert dominance while pretending it's affection. And when it's done consistently, it's about control, not comedy. You say something, and they immediately correct you. Not because you were wrong, but because they need to prove a point, usually in front of a group. It's not about the topic, it's about the power shift. This kind of public contradiction isn't an intellectual's performative. It subtly positions them as the 'rational' one and you as misinformed. Over time, it chips away at your credibility and your confidence. Studies on the effects of conflict in relationships explain how such disagreements, especially when public and frequent, can undermine social connections and increase stress, highlighting the damaging impact of this behavior on personal credibility and well-being. You bring up something that hurt you, and suddenly, you're the problem. 'You're too emotional,' 'You're reading into it,' or 'I was just trying to help.' Your reality is rewritten in real-time. This isn't conflict resolution—it's emotional gaslighting. By minimizing your feelings, they maintain the upper hand in every disagreement. Power doesn't need to yell—it can whisper, 'You're being dramatic.' As noted in a study published on PubMed, power imbalances in romantic relationships as when one partner makes decisions without including the other-are associated with lower relationship quality. The research highlights that unequal decision-making power can negatively affect relationship satisfaction and dynamics, underscoring the importance of mutual involvement in major decisions to maintain healthy partnerships. In healthy relationships, autonomy is mutual. When one person constantly moves without you, they're asserting dominance under the guise of independence. Exclusion isn't always loud—it's strategic. You try to speak, and they talk over you, cut you off, or finish your sentences for you. It's subtle, but persistent. You walk away from conversations feeling unheard and small. Interruptions aren't always about enthusiasm—they can be about control. The message is: My voice matters more than yours. Over time, this dynamic creates silence where your opinions used to live. You opened up about your childhood, your fears, your past, and now it's used against you in arguments or sarcastic comments. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it stings deeply. What was sacred becomes strategic. This is one of the most manipulative power plays: turning intimacy into ammunition. When someone uses your openness to gain control, they're not being careless—they're being calculating. Trust shouldn't be a trap. One day they're all in—the next, they're distant, distracted, hard to reach. You're constantly trying to read the room, figure out what version of them you're getting today. That unpredictability creates emotional instability. Mixed signals aren't confusion—they're control. Keeping you off-balance ensures that you're always working to earn their warmth. It's not indecision—it's dominance wrapped in inconsistency. You make them upset, and suddenly the hugs stop. They become emotionally unavailable or sexually distant without ever naming what's wrong. Affection becomes a reward, not a right. This kind of behavior turns love into a transaction. You're left trying to 'behave' your way back into closeness. True connection doesn't use intimacy as leverage. It sounds like a compliment at first—'She never used to get upset like this,' or 'My ex handled that better.' But the undertone is sharp. You're being measured against someone else, and you're coming up short. Comparison is rarely about insight—it's about control. It keeps you in a state of emotional insecurity, always trying to prove you're 'enough.' People who want you to grow don't hold someone else over your head. They say harsh things, then defend them with 'I'm just being real.' The honesty feels more like judgment than clarity. And somehow, their 'truth' always seems to make you smaller. Honesty without empathy is often a veiled power move. It positions them as brave, rational, or superior while casting you as fragile. Real honesty uplifts—it doesn't bruise.

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