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Jerry Garcia: Your memories 30 years after his death
Yahoo asked readers to share where they were when they heard the legendary Grateful Dead guitarist had died on Aug. 9, 1995, and how his music makes them feel today.
It was 30 years ago tomorrow that Grateful Dead co-founder, guitarist and vocalist Jerry Garcia died in his room at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility outside of San Francisco, on Aug. 9, 1995. He was 53.
Fans of the pioneering psychedelic rock band known as Deadheads knew this day would come. Garcia had struggled with drug addiction and diabetes for years and was in bad shape weeks earlier during what would be his final tour. He was visibly frail, forgetting lyrics — more so than usual — and mumbling through his songs. Still, the news of his death was no less shocking.
"I'm probably like a lot of people entering the first waves of numbness,' Tom Constanten, former Grateful Dead keyboardist and a close friend of Garcia's, told San Francisco's KCBS radio that night.
I was also probably like a lot of people, looking to numb myself when I learned of Garcia's death. I had just graduated from high school and was at home in Connecticut, weeks away from going to college, driving around aimlessly in my used Volkswagen Jetta and listening to Dead tapes. (I had a couple hundred bootlegs of live shows, which, for serious Deadheads, was not many.)
Since Garcia's death, surviving members of the Grateful Dead, including guitarist Bob Weir and drummers Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzman, have been performing in various incarnations, including Dead & Company — with John Mayer assuming Garcia's role as lead guitarist.
'I'll never come close to playing like @jerrygarcia,' Mayer wrote on Instagram earlier this month following Dead & Company's three-day run at San Francisco's Golden Gate Park celebrating the Grateful Dead's 60th anniversary. 'But if I can somehow get you closer to him — and to the spirit he created 60 years ago — then I suppose I've done my job. Thank you for accepting me.'
To mark the 30th anniversary of Garcia's death, Yahoo gathered memories of the iconic guitarist from readers like you.
Here are some of your most vivid and moving responses. They have been edited for length and clarity.
Where were you when you heard the news Jerry died?
Mitch W., 57, Wake Forest, N.C.: I was sitting in a rocking chair in my living room down in Boca Raton, Fla. I was just numb, devastated, sad and upset. The music that never stopped had stopped. Even though we knew Jerry was in rehab, we (at least me) figured he would be out soon.
Mark K., 54, Fort Myers, Fla.: I was a young reporter working on Sanibel Island. At first, I thought it was just another rumor, so I called a friend/editor (who worked at the Grateful Dead fanzine Dupree's Diamond News) to confirm. I broke down and cried at my desk. I then collected myself, asked my boss for the rest of the day off, went home and watched all the coverage on TV with my roommate, who was also a Deadhead.
Tony, 52, Lyman, N.H.: I was driving toward the beach to go surfing. I heard three consecutive Grateful Dead songs on the radio — and I just knew. I had to pull over my car. Complete emotional devastation.
Jenny W., 56, Chicago: I was working at Kraft Foods as an intern in the tax department. I received a phone call from a friend who let me know. I was devastated. I ended up telling my supervisor that I had a death in the family and needed to go home. I gathered with my friends, and we sat around sharing memories and listening to music. I had just met Jerry in St. Louis earlier that summer. We met in the concierge lounge at the Ritz, where he was grabbing some cookies. He took a picture with me and the cookies. He was amazingly kind.
Beverly, 51, Lewisville, Maine: I was at an ARCO ampm restocking candy when a customer came in and broke the news. He was not gentle about it, causing me to be utterly devastated.
Ann, 51, Ann Arbor, Mich.: It was my 22nd birthday. I walked in to work the lunch shift at a local bar. Jerry's death was announced on the TV news. I was speechless, then melancholy. I was at the last show at Soldier Field, second row center. We were so close that I didn't know Jerry was wearing shorts. It was unbelievable that he was gone.
J. Morgan W., 53, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.: I was at home in Fort Lauderdale when WSHE Radio announced Jerry's passing; I thought it was a bad joke. Then after multiple announcements from various news and radio reports, realizing that this news was true, I went out to Peaches Music and purchased the last few Dead CDs to finish my collection.
Dori R., 59, Boulder, Colo.: I was driving down the 101 from a TV shoot with my Discovery Channel crew in California when we heard the news on the radio. We pulled over in shock. I was never a huge Dead fan, but I had actually just spent the previous summer following them, attending 14 West Coast shows out of pure curiosity with the music and the whole scene. I became a big fan that summer and was profoundly grateful that I got to experience the band, Jerry and all, before we lost him.
"Cheff" Z., 78, Lancaster, Pa.: I was monitoring the Associated Press wire. The bell started clanging — which was the sign of 'breaking news.' I pulled the tear sheet and read of his death as AP was breaking it. I stood in front of the machine, alone in the clattering wire-service closet, and started to cry. I had seen the Dead all three nights in Philly on that final tour. He was weary looking, without the energy with which I was familiar. The Jerry I knew was funny and engaging. On that last tour he looked like he wanted to be done.
How did you discover the Grateful Dead?
Tony, 52, Lyman, N.H.: They were popular with everyone's older brothers in school. Someone gave me a bootleg from 1985. Maybe Roanoke, maybe Raleigh? The 'Stagger Lee' from that show hooked me.
Ann, 51, Ann Arbor, Mich.: I saw 'Touch of Grey' on MTV and got the In the Dark album as a teen. Then a good friend from college knew that I liked Phish. She played old Grateful Dead bootleg tapes for me since she thought they were better. I agreed and never went to another Phish show.
Anna M., 56, Oregon City, Ore.: I grew up in a rural area and had no exposure to the Grateful Dead except for shirts I had seen. I did not really know their music. My partner bought me a ticket for my birthday in 1992 to see them at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, Ore. I remember I had on jeans and a black mock turtleneck. As I got closer to the venue, I quickly realized my outfit did not blend. The concert was already going when I arrived. The scene was unlike anything I had ever seen — so many beautiful, weird people. I bought a new batik dress, ordered my first falafel and sat down and just absorbed it all. I felt like I had finally come home.
Beverly, 51, Lewisville, Maine: My mom's friend always told me I was a hippie and didn't know it. She told me to check out their music in 1993; when I did, I knew immediately I had found my tribe. I only saw them once, in Las Vegas, before he died. It was amazing. The people really were like a family. I never knew how kind people could be, but learned that summer.
Bud, 70, Oxford, Conn.: I was attending UConn in the early 1970s, and they got a lot of airplay on FM radio. "Casey Jones" was big. They were going to play the Yale Bowl, so I picked up Workingman's Dead, which was their latest LP. I couldn't believe how "country" it sounded. I expected something heavier. I played it once or twice and put it away. I still have that record, and it has become one of my favorites of the last 50 years.
Rick B., 62, La Crescent, Minn.: In 1978, when I was 15, I read a reference in National Lampoon that characterized the Dead as being "still numero uno with the acid heads." And since I had every intention of becoming one at the first opportunity, I decided that this was probably a band that I should be listening to.
What do you think of the Grateful Dead's post-Garcia reincarnations, like Dead & Company?
Mark K., 54, Fort Myers, Fla.: Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I'd still be seeing this music and enjoying the scene I loved so much some 20 years after his death — thanks to Dead & Company. I credit John Mayer especially for introducing this music to new generations. Now I have fun razzing all the newbies at D&C. A phrase me and my crew always repeat: We saw Jerry.
Anna M., 56, Oregon City, Ore.: I love it. It brings the family together and helps introduce younger people to the music. I love seeing young people at shows that have never seen Jerry, but they know the music, and it's meaningful and important to them. That is the power of the music, the message and the love.
Dori R., 59, Boulder, Colo.: I enjoy the shows but can't avoid feeling like the same magic is just not there.
Jay D., 70, Novato, Calif.: I just saw Dead & Company at the Sphere in April. Like everybody says, it was amazing! I used to be in the camp that after Jerry died there was no more Grateful Dead, but no more. John Mayer is a great guitarist, and he is doing right by the Dead's music.
What did Garcia mean to you then? And what does he mean to you today?
Gary B., 73, Columbia, Md.: He was a tour guide to so many different kinds of music, and today he, more than any other individual, is the uniting force behind so many different bands and artists.
Mitch W., 57, Wake Forest, N.C.: Jerry Garcia was the leader of the greatest American band ever. I miss him and still miss him (even though Bobby [Weir], day by day, is resembling Jerry). Wish my kid could have seen him and the Dead.
Mark K., 54, Fort Myers, Fla.: No guitarist's music ever spoke to me the way Jerry's did. As a singer, he understood and seemed to feel the lyrics (lost on many singers), and as a guitar player and bandleader, he was like the pied piper for many of us who weren't into hair bands.
Beverly, 51, Lewisville, Maine: Jerry was the poppa bear, setting the example of kindness, honesty and vulnerability. He's still a legend in my book.
Anna M., 56, Oregon City, Ore.: I have always viewed Jerry as someone who rescued me from a very limited worldview. To see all the many wonderful people that loved the Dead, to get to know them, to have my mind expanded with new ideas, new ways of looking at life — he was monumental in my development into who I was meant to be. He was the gateway for me; his lyrics and words are touchstones for my soul.
