18-05-2025
27 Irresponsible Purchases From Etsy
A Goldfish trophy for the pro angler — OK, pro snacker — who wants to showcase their amazing abilities (fishing in the bag for the last remaining crumbs).
A pocket library complete with mini books. Give it a shake to satisfy your lust for destruction, then meditatively put them back on their shelves when you need a little screen break.
A Puppagotchi tag to celebrate the fact that you graduated from virtual to real pets. Remembering to feed them, pick up poop, provide ample pats — same thing, really.
Dagger-shaped push pins so you can dramatically add your to-do list to your corkboard. Main quest chores like doing the dishes will have to wait — there are more exciting side quests (like decorating your corkboard) to take care of first!
A pasta box keychain with lil' bowties you can shake around. A perfect accessory for anyone who plans on ordering noodles with butter at the restaurant later.
And a pair of handmade farfalle barrettes that are almost im-pasta-bly cute. Pair with some butter earrings to complete the look.
A McLovin fake ID I'm pretty sure would work if you flashed it at a liquor store. Luckily, we're all adults here with backup IDs in case it doesn't.
Freshly baked, Hokkaido-style milk bread so pillowy soft, you'll want to take a nap on it like that influencer who pushes her face into different breads. If boomers can splurge on little porcelain figurines, you can splurge on fluffy bread for next-level breakfast pics. One reviewer said tasting this heavenly loaf transported them back to Japan. 🇯🇵
An outrageously silly Sonny Angel shelf you can use to display your favorite lil' naked babies — or any other small figurines. I wonder who you'll pick for the coveted cloud swing spot.
A silly goose badge — congrats on your promotion! Now that you've been deputized, let's hit the streets and start pieing people in the face.
Magnets shaped like Goldfish or chocolate truffles, to really capture the magic of your kitchen (the place where the snacks are).
Promising review (for the Goldfish): "These are really awesome. They have a tactile feel like the real thing! Magnets are super powerful. I'm going to buy a few more. Love these." —TamedGet the six Goldfish from Handy Cute Art for $10.20 or the three chocolate truffles from Bows & Silos for $19.95.
A brass dragon journal clip that makes even the stuffiest of work feel like you're playing a round of Dungeons & Dragons! Adding another 9 am meeting to your agenda? Better roll for Constitution. 😬
Puffy bookends in bright colors to make your bookshelf feel like it came straight from the MoMA gift shop — even if you have more romantasy novels than sleek art books.
A magical Disney sun catcher to make your home the happiest place on Earth — because rainbows = happiness, duh.
A pair of cowboy chicken earrings with some great, flashy boots. Bob your head to make them do a lil' square dance.
A jumbo carrot body pillow in case you wanna inject some serious vitamin A into your home. Snuggle up with this 4-foot-long plush and live out Bugs Bunny's greatest dream.
An adorable acetate hair claw because why settle for a plain one when there are an infinite number of far cuter options? Good luck picking one! It was hard enough to pick just three to show you.
Promising review (for the bow): "It's a very cute hair claw that's well made. Thank you so much! :)" —AmyGet them from Etsy: the bow from New Heights Studio for $20, the bok choy from Sunnie Creative for $18, or the Pompompurin from CuteSewLuna for $20.
A New Moon filter keychain so you can look at the world as if it were featured in the Twilight Saga. Bright summer day? Gross! Throw some moody Washington dreariness over it.
A large Prismo tufted rug, which might be peak Millennial home decor. Like all of Prismo's wishes, you'll get what you want (a cool as heck rug) but with a catch (your parents will sigh every time they see it).
Bath spaghetti so you can feel like a lil' meatball swimming in a tub of marinara. If only you had this as a kid! Don't worry; this unique body wash doesn't smell like tomato sauce — instead, expect zesty orange and grapefruit.
A UFO abduction lamp to add a little Mulder to your otherwise Scully-esque desk. It comes with a color-changing remote so you can pick whatever hue matches the moo-d (sorry).
Or a pair of earrings depicting a UFO abduction scene — not even extra-terrestrials can resist a good cat snuggle.
A coconut wax candle with a 3D hot dog poking out of it. Don't worry! It doesn't smell like lunch meat — you can pick a scent like citrus, lavender, or coconut cream.
A Lumon sweatshirt for anyone who wishes they could sever — specifically for the time between Severance seasons.
A Perry the Platypus mug complete with fedora lid. Just remove the hat when you want to pour in your drink where did Perry go? The ceramic mug is handmade, so it takes about 10 days to make.
A glass butterfly ring to create the illusion that you're a fairy princess who often has sparkly butterflies land on them.
A pack of medieval cat stickers for anyone who loves a good wonky feline. Amazing how cat memes have existed for thousands of years.
