Latest news with #Brigham
Tom's Guide
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Tom's Guide
You'll live, die and repeat watching this Tom Cruise sci-fi action movie on Peacock this weekend
When looking for a movie to watch this weekend, look no further than "Edge of Tomorrow," which was just added to Peacock at the beginning of the month. Some movies, you have to be in the right mood to watch. Others, you need to have just the right home theater setup to enjoy. But this sci-fi action movie can be enjoyed anywhere, and it might just be Tom Cruise's last great performance in a movie that wasn't a sequel to one of his many other roles. I'm not being hyperbolic either when I say that this movie can be watched anywhere. The first time I watched it was on a plane, and I had a blast. To be fair, action movies are the perfect plane movies, but this movie is just as enjoyable in the comfort of your own home, too. I'm not the only one who loves "Edge of Tomorrow" either. While the movie arguably underwhelmed at the box office, bringing in just enough money for Hollywood accounting to still declare it a bust, thanks to a massive $178 million budget. But that spending paid off with critics and audiences alike — it scored a 91% fresh rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes and a nearly identical 90% from audiences. So if you're subscribed to Peacock, this is the movie to watch this weekend across all the best streaming services. It's one of the best action movies of the 2010s, and more importantly, it's just fun to watch. "Edge of Tomorrow" is based on the Japanese light novel "All You Need Is Kill." It's set in a near-future version of Earth, where an alien race known as "Mimics" has conquered most of continental Europe, forcing humanity to unite into a global military force, known as the United Defense Force (UDF). The UDF still struggles against the mimics, though, until Sergeant Rita Vrataski (Emily Blunt) leads the UDF to victory at the Battle of Verdun. This sparks confidence in the UDF, which, led by General Brigham (Brendan Gleeson), decides to invade France to reclaim the country. But when Brigham orders Major William Cage (Cruise), a public relations officer with no combat experience, to cover the invasion, the cowardly major tries to blackmail the general to avoid the dangerous assignment. Get instant access to breaking news, the hottest reviews, great deals and helpful tips. Peacock Premium offers hit original shows, NBCUniversal movies and live sports, all starting at $10.99 a month. That backfires spectacularly, with Cage now demoted to Private and forced to serve with the infantry in the invasion. The move is intended to get Cage killed, which it does, but not before he's bathed in the blood of an "Alpha" Mimic — causing him to awake back in England just before the invasion. At this point, the movie really begins, with Cruise stuck in an endless cycle of waking up, getting thrown into battle and getting killed. But he starts to improve with each death, as he retains the memories from his past lives even after his deaths. This is one of two things that make "Edge of Tomorrow" work. First, there is the action, which is well executed and well paced. The movie is just 113 minutes long, giving it little time to linger in one place too long, and despite being very heavy on the CGI, it looks good, including the combat between the CGI Mimics against humans in CGI battle suits. In another movie, this would have looked cheap at the time and aged terribly, but the time and money invested in this movie's visual effects still pays off to this day. But the other thing that makes this sci-fi movie work is that the time travel element is fun, a welcome plot device rather than a paradox-laden rabbit hole to dive into. I won't spoil exactly how the time loop functions, which is revealed later in the movie, but when you realize what's happening, you don't question whether or not it works or not you just strap yourself in for the rest of the ride. So go stream "Edge of Tomorrow" on Peacock now, and enjoy. Malcolm has been with Tom's Guide since 2022 and has been covering the latest in streaming shows and movies since 2023. He's not one to shy away from a hot take, including that "John Wick" is one of the four greatest films ever made. Here's what he's been watching lately:
Medscape
17-07-2025
- Health
- Medscape
S3 Episode 3: Young-Onset Adult Cancer Survivorship
This transcript has been edited for clarity. For more episodes, download the Medscape app or subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your preferred podcast provider. Kathryn J. Ruddy, MD, MPH: Hello, I'm Dr Kathryn Ruddy. Welcome to season three of the Medscape InDiscussion Cancer Survivorship podcast series. Today, we'll discuss young-onset cancer survivorship. First, let me introduce my esteemed guest, Dr Narjust Florez. Dr Florez is the associate director of the Cancer Care Equity Program, co-director of the Young Lung Cancer Program, and a thoracic medical oncologist at Dana-Farber Brigham Cancer Center. Dr Florez's clinical interests include targeted therapy for lung cancer and the care of women and young individuals with lung cancer, including their cancer survivorship. Dr Florez, welcome to the Medscape InDiscussion Cancer Survivorship Podcast. Narjust Florez, MD: Thank you, I'm very happy to be here. Dr Ruddy was one of my mentors when I was at Mayo Clinic, and there were around 6 months during my training that I was considering specializing in breast cancer. So, this feels full circle, coming back and having this discussion with one of the individuals I learned how to conduct survivorship research with. Thank you. Ruddy: Thank you, Dr Florez. Some of you may remember that Dr Florez was part of this podcast series in previous years, so we're thrilled to have her back again in season three. Dr Florez, could we start by having you talk about the incidence of young-onset cancer and how young-onset cancers can present? Florez: Thank you for that very important question. Since 2010, and even before that, we have seen an increased number of cases of young-onset cancer. What is young-onset cancer? These are patients who are usually diagnosed before the age of 50 or 45. These patients are diagnosed with cancer during a very disruptive time of their lives and often don't have any other person in their circle who has been diagnosed with cancer. The number of cases is increasing. Colorectal cancer is one where we have seen the highest rise in the number of cases, and that's why a large campaign is pursuing colorectal cancer screening to start at age 45 instead of 50. So 45 is the new 50. Dr Kimmie Ng spearheaded a lot of these efforts. When I was at Mayo with you, Dr Ruddy, we saw increased incidences of lung cancer in younger women. Young-onset lung cancer is higher in younger women compared to colorectal cancer, which can be seen in either sex. Young breast cancer is rising in certain groups and declining in others. This is the reality. Younger patients are getting cancer. Cancer should no longer be seen as a disease of older adults. We have to open our eyes to this diagnosis, because often, these patients don't get a timely diagnosis because of the lack of association with these solid tumor cancers in younger individuals. We often see testicular cancer and lymphoma in this subgroup. Now, a new group of cancers is affecting this population. Ruddy: In addition to those potential diagnostic delays, what are the unique challenges that your patients face during and after treatment when they are diagnosed at a young age? Florez: When we talk about young-onset cancers, we must consider their challenges across the entire spectrum. Let's start with the first one, which is diagnostic delays. This is very unique to this population and to patients with colorectal and lung cancer, in which the symptoms cannot be as specific. We know from our own study that young women with lung cancer are often told that they may have a mental health issue instead of lung cancer. The number one misdiagnosis in this group was anxiety. This data will soon be presented. We interviewed over 114 young women with lung cancer and identified that chest pressure was often attributed to anxiety when in fact it was the tumor growing. For diagnosis in young individuals with colorectal cancer, mental health is often included, and these patients with [gastrointestinal] symptoms are diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome based on symptoms without specific imaging: leading to delays in diagnosis. And a lot of these patients are, unfortunately, diagnosed via stage IV when there are limited treatment options. That brings up a very important aspect that affects the entire spectrum of survivorship, which is stress and the healthcare system. Many young patients have had to seek care multiple times due to the diagnosis. Many of them believe that they could have been diagnosed at an earlier stage. Issues of trust affect survivorship because, up until the diagnosis, the patient was not heard. After diagnosis, we know isolation is a big challenge in their survivorship. They don't have peers who have gone through this. They often have a parent or a grandparent who may have had cancer treatment. There is a lack of having that community. Luckily, social media has helped with some of that isolation, but my patients often report that they're the only young person in the entire waiting room. They don't have anybody to lock eyes with. They don't even have anyone in the hallway to say, 'Man, this is difficult.' So we have created a lounge at Dana-Farber, specifically for young adults with cancer, so they can have this little space in which they can connect, even if it's not the same type of cancer, they have the same challenges with diagnosis. One thing that we often forget to talk about with young-onset cancer is the effect on families. Young-onset patients are often the backbone of caring for others and the family nucleus. So, younger women, younger men, and non-binary individuals are often taking care of younger children, ages 4-18 or more. They also care for older adults, such as their parents or grandparents. In society, this group of patients is the caregivers. The issue is, who cares for the caregiver when the caregiver gets sick? Finally, these patients tend to have more aggressive treatments because they're able to tolerate them. The consequences of that are a large number of long-term side effects that affect all aspects of their survivorship. Ruddy: Can you discuss fertility concerns and fertility preservation? This is a topic near and dear to my heart because of my own interest in fertility preservation during cancer therapy, which was inspired by a close friend's cancer diagnosis during medical school. It was actually what led me to become an oncologist and sparked my passion for cancer survivorship research. I would love to hear you tell our audience a bit about how this plays a role. Florez: We both have a mentor who also studies fertility. We're all passionate about this. Through my own personal experience with fertility, I have firsthand experience with this challenge. One main issue is that oncologists get very limited training about fertility and fertility preservation. You may get a lecture or two, and if you are fortunate, like me, my mentors specialize in this, so you receive extra training; but you have to go out of your way to learn about it. Most patients are not provided the opportunity for fertility preservation, regardless of the subtype of cancer. Breast cancer has been at the forefront, and they have done more research and have more options. Lung cancer is on the back burner. It's behind like it is 1995. The lack of training is a big issue. There is also a rush to treat many of these young patients who are often very sick. We often discuss delays in diagnosis, so these patients need to begin treatment immediately. But it is not our role as providers to decide fertility preservation for our patients. It is our duty to give them options. There are many options for fertility preservation. It can be easier for biological men. For them, we have sperm collection. For women, it tends to be a little more complicated. It can range from injections all the way to full stimulation and preservation. However, the main thing is that we keep the options open for patients to make their own decisions, rather than making the decision for them, because we don't know what their cancer journey will bring. With new advancements in therapies, I have patients with metastatic lung cancer living for 12 years. It is not my role to decide if and when they want to be parents or if they want to have additional children. It's not only about those who haven't had children, but also about those who may want more children. Having the discussion is the first step, and it is not expected of medical oncologists or community oncologists to know what to do, but to know who to refer the patient to. We have nurses, nurse practitioners, and specialists. Dr Elizabeth Ginsburg is a remarkable individual who has conducted extensive research in this area. The main thing is to ask our patients about fertility preservation. I have a template in Epic because we're often so busy that we forget about so many things. However, if you have it in your template, before closing the note, you need to click 'Discuss' or 'You will discuss' so that you can close the note. That's a little tip that has helped me remember. Ruddy: That's a great tip. The Epic templates are so helpful for so many aspects of our care, so thank you for that. Can you talk about your pregnancy and lung cancer registry? Florez: When I talked about pregnancy and lung cancer registry on the podcast the last time, we were not even live. It was an idea and a journey. It all started with a phone call from one of my friends, an OB attending physician, who said, 'NJ, I need your help.' I said, 'Do you need help moving?' Do you want me to pet sit your cat? What is happening?' They said, I have a pregnant patient with lung cancer. I still remember the feeling. My belly just fell. They said, 'Well, you take care of young patients.' I was like, yeah, but not pregnant patients. This led to an examination of the literature, revealing that there are no established guidelines. Most of the data precedes targeted therapy. There is no data available on immunotherapy, and all of these agents are what we are using most frequently in these young patients. As a result of that experience and having to give chemotherapy to a pregnant woman, for the first time in my career, I remember texting my mentor, saying I can't sleep. My patient starts chemotherapy tomorrow. My mentor said, 'Yeah, I've done it a hundred times.' We created the registry. The registry is housed at Dana-Farber, but is an international registry, so anybody across the globe can enter cases. The cases are anonymous, and we ask for a follow-up 6 months and 12 months after the case has been entered. To meet the goal of processing as many cases as possible, patients can enter their cases. This process is fully IRB-approved. And it's because sometimes I don't remember the Apgar score of the offspring that may have been treated, but the mothers have the capacity to get such detailed information. Providers from around the world can submit cases to the registry, including nurses, nurse practitioners, and physicians. Families and patients can also enter the cases. We have 72 cases so far. So we have the largest cohort of pregnancy and lung cancer. We learned that there's a significant lack of uniformity in treatments. We have cases from many countries around the globe, and we have seen a lack of uniformity. And it's risky, because a lot of these targeted therapies have not been approved, and they have not been studied for this population whatsoever. Immunotherapy, for example, was studied in non-sexually mature baboons. That's the data we have. As a consequence of the registry, we have launched the Pregnancy and Lung Cancer Consortium with Dr Imbimbo in Switzerland and Dr Marina Garassino, in which people can bring pregnant cases to us. We're happy to guide them because the literature is so diverse. Ruddy: That's a phenomenal resource and design. I'm very excited to hear more about your future results. Another topic you talked about last year on the podcast was the importance of sexual health. Have there been any new data or interventions over the last year that you'd like to update the listeners on? Florez: As we're talking about young-onset cancer, sexual health has to be at the forefront. It's unfair to expect a 32-year-old woman diagnosed with colorectal or lung cancer or breast or lymphoma to remain celibate until the end of her days. Sexual health has many benefits, including health, self-esteem, and well-being. It can decrease even the amount of opiates that you may need. Sexual health is cancer care. That's the first thing I want to talk about. As a result of her studies and the Sexual Health Assessment in Women with Lung Cancer study (SHAWL study), which is our study, Dr Sharon Bober has launched the SHARE study, which is sexual health after cancer treatment, focused on younger patients. This is for women aged 19-49 and is based at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. No medications are involved in the intervention. The interventions focus on cognitive behavioral therapy, physical therapy, and provide educational online sessions about body changes that these patients may experience during their cancer treatment and after the cancer treatment and how to cope with that and see your new body, your new sexual health, activity, and intimacy. This study is very interesting. Patients will be randomized to either group sessions or individual sessions. It's called the SHARE study, which is sexual health and rehabilitation. While we have documented the sexual dysfunction, this study is the next step, which is an intervention to improve sexual health in young patients with cancer, and the SHARE study is regardless of the type of cancer. If people are interested, they can Google SHARE study, with Dr Bober, who's here at Dana-Farber. I think the time for sexual health interventions is now. Ruddy: That sounds like an extremely important study, so congratulations on taking that forward with Dr Bober. Do you want to say anything about the potential for integrative approaches to be helpful for young patients, specifically, with regard to other areas of survivorship? Florez: Yes. I think early onset cancer care is multidisciplinary care, because we have to look at these patients very long term, right? One, two, three decades after they have been diagnosed with cancer. The plan is not to fix issues after we have caused them. The plan is to address them before that. So, a very important aspect is cardio-oncology and survivorship. I currently have two football players who underwent treatment. Now they're resuming their strenuous activity. I have to work with cardio-oncology to ensure their heart is in shape to run on a football field. Another important aspect of multidisciplinary care is psycho-oncology for these patients. These patients struggle with significant mental health issues. As a millennial myself, we were born with a little touch of anxiety to start with. My patients say I'm only 42 years old, and I'm tired of being part of historical events. So, I had the pleasure of working with Dr Cristina Pozo-Kaderman, a psycho-oncologist. She helps these patients cope with the diagnosis and new ways of treating some of these mental health issues outside of medications. Medications are very helpful, but therapy plays a very important role in their survivorship. In breast cancer, colorectal, and lung cancer, mental health issues have a higher prevalence in younger patients. There's a higher prevalence of depression, adjustment disorder, and anxiety. Working with psycho-oncology is key for the survivorship of these patients because it goes by in phases. At the beginning, everybody's all hands on deck, right? And eventually, the layers of support peel off as the patient moves in their cancer journey. Another multidisciplinary care that we often forget for young-onset patients is financial advisors and social work. These patients don't have lifetime savings. These patients often need to remain in their jobs to keep their insurance, which affects their survivorship, including whether they can make it to appointments, and worrying about switching to COBRA insurance when they can't work. So financial advisors and social workers are essential for treating young patients because it allows them to apply to foundations, adjust things as needed, and know about resources that, often, even doctors don't know about. I'm in Massachusetts. I'm very fortunate to be in a state with Medicaid expansion. There are a lot of things I'm not familiar with, so these are only three of the things that are very important when we're looking at survivorship for young-onset cancer patients. The fourth thing is family members and caregivers. They are part of the cancer care team as much as the surgeons, as much as radiation oncologists, because sometimes grandma needs to help with childcare. Sometimes grandma needs to help drive somebody. So they need to be included in conversations as well. Young-onset cancer care is no longer just the medical oncologist's job; it is everybody's responsibility, including society as a whole. Ruddy: I completely agree, and I hope we can come up with new and better ways to support caregivers in future years, because this is, as you say, a very critical part of our care team. Is there anything else you want to tell our audience today before we close, Dr Florez? Florez: I would like to ask our audience to look at patients with their eyes open. And remember that what we learned in medical school has changed; the patient we learned about in our USMLE step 1, 2, and 3 is no longer the full reality. Lung cancer is not limited to older men with a previous tobacco history anymore. Colorectal cancer is not limited to older men. Come with open eyes. See the patient's needs because, unfortunately, this phenomenon will continue to grow, and more and more younger patients will be diagnosed with cancer. Remove some of the gender bias, remove some oncologist bias, and see these patients with higher needs instead of assuming they can do it on their own. They actually need additional support. Ruddy: Thank you so much, Dr Florez. Today, we spoke with Dr Narjust Florez about cancer survivorship issues in young adults. Thank you for tuning in. Please take a moment to download the Medscape app to listen and subscribe to this podcast series on cancer survivorship. This is Dr Kathryn Ruddy for the Medscape InDiscussion Cancer Survivorship podcast. Listen to additional seasons of this podcast. Cultural Competency and Cancer Survivorship: Humility, Lifelong Learning, and Effectively Communicating With Patients Trends in Cancer Incidence and Mortality Rates in Early-Onset and Older-Onset Age Groups in the United States, 2010-2019 US Preventive Services Task Force Recommendations for Colorectal Cancer Screening: Forty-Five Is the New Fifty Lung Cancer in Women: The Past, Present, and Future Cancer Statistics, 2025 "Too Young to Have This Kind of Diagnosis": A Qualitative Exploration of Younger Adults' Experiences of Colorectal Cancer Diagnosis Dana Farber Young Adult Program (YAP) From Approximation to Precision: Fertility and Pregnancy Questions in Young Patients With Lung Cancer Oncofertility in Children and Adolescents When the Unimaginable Happens: Lung Cancer Diagnosis During Pregnancy Sexual Health Assessment in Women With Lung Cancer Study: Sexual Health Assessment in Women With Lung Cancer Sexual Health and Rehabilitation Online (SHAREonline)
Yahoo
09-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Divorced, but still sharing the family home
When Kathleen Brigham and her then-husband, Jim, decided to divorce, she proposed an unconventional living arrangement: Instead of shuttling their three children back and forth between homes every few days, they would let the kids stay put. The parents would take turns living with them. Brigham and Jim drew up an informal custody agreement for the children, who were ages 4, 9 and 12 at the time. Most days, she stayed with them in their New York City apartment, while he lived in a smaller place within walking distance. After work on Wednesdays, he came over and she went to stay at a friend's empty apartment or with family. They each got a weekend day alone with the kids. Then they shared a meal together on Sunday nights. Subscribe to The Post Most newsletter for the most important and interesting stories from The Washington Post. 'It was really about the three kids and not about us,' Brigham said. 'I was just trying to find any way I could soften the blow.' The arrangement, commonly known as 'birdnesting,' aims to reduce disruption in children's lives while their parents are going through a split. Although divorce rates have declined in recent decades, there are still plenty of couples calling it quits. In 2023, more than 1.3 million Americans ended a marriage, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics. Of course, no two divorces are alike. From the 'conscious uncoupling' popularized by actress Gwyneth Paltrow and musician Chris Martin, to the mutually assured destruction of marriages that end in emotional and financial wars, divorce experiences are all over the map. Leo Tolstoy had it right: Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. But for ex-couples who find themselves more on Paltrow's gentler end of the splitsville spectrum, nesting really can work. Before nesting, Brigham and her soon-to-be ex established strict rules for every potential issue they could think of. They committed to punctuality, promising to show up - and leave - at their appointed time. They agreed to always leave the shared space as clean as they found it. He would bring his own food or order out, instead of eating food she had purchased. He would sleep on a pullout and not enter her bedroom. They wouldn't look through one another's mail, electronics or other private things. And no other adults were allowed in the home unless they discussed it ahead of time. 'Setting those rules was really important,' she said. 'Little things become big.' The arrangement made her uneasy at first. She sometimes felt vulnerable and judged when he came to the house. What if he noticed new furniture and wondered where the money came from to buy it? Would he listen to her phone conversations when they were both at the house? 'It's not for everybody,' Brigham said. 'A lot of people read about it and think, 'I can do that.' But when you're in it, you have to settle in this complete discomfort. I don't think I ever got to the point where I thought it was really easy.' She would leave the house 15 minutes before Jim's scheduled arrival times to avoid an awkward interaction. The kids were with a sitter. She stayed in a friend's apartment nearby for the night, but woke at 5 a.m. to return and help them get ready for school so he could go to work. It was a grueling schedule, she said, but focusing on the well-being of the children carried them through. If approached with care and a spirit of cooperation, nesting can give children time to adjust to the new state of affairs while their parents go through what can be the most stressful time in their lives, said Ann Gold Buscho, a family therapist in Marin County, California, who advocates for nesting, so long as the parents can work together peacefully. Buscho, who helps her clients determine whether nesting might work for them, has first-hand experience with the practice. In 1994, long before 'birdnesting' entered the cultural lexicon, she and her former spouse split time living in a house with their children. Like many divorcing couples, their financial futures were uncertain, so they waited until they had more clarity before purchasing their own places. When not at home with the children, Buscho rented a room in a house with five other people, while he stayed with another woman with whom he had a relationship. 'He and I agreed on one thing, which was that we wanted to protect our kids,' she said. She was in her 40s and found herself bunking with several housemates as though she were back in college. It was uncomfortable and required her to swallow her pride. Shuttling between houses left her feeling unsettled, but she figured it's better for her to bear the brunt of the discomfort than her three children. The arrangement lasted 15 months, which gave both the adults and kids a chance to adjust to the new life, she said. Nesting can take many forms, especially for people in diverse financial situations. Off-duty parents often stay with friends or family, on an office sofa or in an Airbnb. One father Buscho encountered lived in a church with permission from his pastor. Some parents agree to share an off-site apartment and trade spaces every few days, although that's uncommon. Others might reconfigure an attic or garage as an auxiliary unit for the off-duty parent, but that can be confusing for the children, she said: 'Daddy's here, but we can't see him?' The arrangements don't have to last long, although in rare cases, it becomes a way of life that works for people for years. Lori Badach and her ex-husband began nesting from their Buffalo-area home in February 2023 when their children were 13 and 10 years old. They're still doing it. They originally agreed to split responsibilities, but she ends up staying with the kids most school nights. He stays with his father when he's off-duty; she bunks with her sister. When they occasionally overlap in the house, he takes the guest room and she sleeps in the primary bedroom. Although they are separated, they have been able to maintain trust in one another, Badach said. They travel together, on family vacations and for the kids' sports teams, and they still celebrate holidays as a family. The arrangement sometimes perplexes friends who struggle to understand how divorced people can continue to cooperate and coordinate schedules. Some might have a hard time grasping it, but focusing on the children and keeping their lives largely the same as it was while the marriage was intact helps, she said. While she's happy to talk about it, she doesn't feel the need to justify it to suspicious onlookers. It has gone so well that Badach has resisted opportunities to change the status quo. She recently considered buying a condo, but when she considered how well her kids were doing, she passed. 'My motto is it will work until it doesn't,' she said. The key to maintaining the health of any nesting arrangement is communication, Buscho said. Every detail and contingency should be sorted out, in writing, before starting. Parents should agree on the condition of the house when the other leaves. They should make a plan for how the bills should be split and who should pay them. They should even hammer out how they will communicate. How much notice should they give when they want to end the nesting? What kind of food should be in the pantry? Who will change the linens? Who will do the dishes? Sometimes these conversations can be difficult and awkward. Can the divorcing couple bring new boyfriends or girlfriends back to the nest? Buscho worked with a couple who didn't have a plan for new relationships. The woman found a used condom in the bedroom and the arrangement fell into disarray. 'If they had discussed that ahead of time, it never would have happened,' Buscho said. Nesting isn't for everyone. Divorces are, after all, lawsuits - and the process can be cutthroat as both sides ready themselves for emotional warfare. Sharing a physical space during this time could spell disaster. Christine Leatherberry, adjunct professor and assistant dean for administration at Southern Methodist University's Dedman School of Law, has cautioned clients interested in nesting about the potential pitfalls. She advises that they only proceed under strict rules and for only a few months, at most. Often it's little things that end up eroding the agreement. People fight over the cleanliness of the house, whether the refrigerator is stocked or where the other person put the television remote. In particularly contentious divorces, the shared space can create temptation for sabotage. Leatherberry said she has seen couples that accessed private financial information on electronic devices left out, or private chats on a shared cloud. Electronics, she said, are 'where we see the most problems.' Some people snoop through garbage or place hidden cameras in bedrooms. In one extreme case, a colleague worked with a couple in which one parent put an illegal substance into the other's shampoo bottle to frame them before a drug test. 'It can go awry very quickly,' Leatherberry said. Nesting can also prolong the difficult process of accepting the change that comes with divorce, said Lynn Waldman, a collaborative divorce counselor in San Diego. 'It's harder for the parents to emotionally separate. Especially if it's the family home, then they're coming back every few days,' Waldman said. 'They're not able to really move on with their own separate life. Each parent should be able to have the opportunity to develop their own routine, their own roots in their own home, develop memories and traditions with the kids on their own time.' Still, nesting can work, especially when it's only meant for a brief season of life. On some occasions, it works out so well that it can last long after the divorce papers have been signed. As her children grew, Brigham and her ex-husband continued an evolving form of nesting for several years. She later married another man, a divorcé who also nested with his children. They bonded over their shared experience and chronicled it in a co-authored 2022 book. Brigham received a certificate in divorce mediation and now works as an adviser to help divorcing couples draw up a detailed plan for their split. Among her clients, she said, 80 percent show interest in nesting, but only about half of them go through with it. But, given the benefits to her growing children, her own 'six years of uncomfortable cohabitation,' as she put it, were worth it. 'For our kids it really made a huge difference,' she said. 'It allowed them to just be.' - - - Chris Moody is a writer based in Boone, N.C. 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Toronto Sun
09-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Toronto Sun
Divorced, but still sharing the family home
Published Jul 09, 2025 • 8 minute read Lori and Andy Badach are separated, but they are "birdnesting" so their children can live in the home they know while the parents split time with them. Photo by Jalen Wright / For The Washington Post Reviews and recommendations are unbiased and products are independently selected. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page. When Kathleen Brigham and her then-husband, Jim, decided to divorce, she proposed an unconventional living arrangement: Instead of shuttling their three children back and forth between homes every few days, they would let the kids stay put. The parents would take turns living with them. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. THIS CONTENT IS RESERVED FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada. Unlimited online access to articles from across Canada with one account. Get exclusive access to the Toronto Sun ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition that you can share, download and comment on. Enjoy insights and behind-the-scenes analysis from our award-winning journalists. Support local journalists and the next generation of journalists. Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword. SUBSCRIBE TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada. Unlimited online access to articles from across Canada with one account. Get exclusive access to the Toronto Sun ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition that you can share, download and comment on. Enjoy insights and behind-the-scenes analysis from our award-winning journalists. Support local journalists and the next generation of journalists. Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword. REGISTER / SIGN IN TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience. Access articles from across Canada with one account. Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments. Enjoy additional articles per month. Get email updates from your favourite authors. THIS ARTICLE IS FREE TO READ REGISTER TO UNLOCK. Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience. Access articles from across Canada with one account Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments Enjoy additional articles per month Get email updates from your favourite authors Don't have an account? Create Account Brigham and Jim drew up an informal custody agreement for the children, who were ages 4, 9 and 12 at the time. Most days, she stayed with them in their New York City apartment, while he lived in a smaller place within walking distance. After work on Wednesdays, he came over and she went to stay at a friend's empty apartment or with family. They each got a weekend day alone with the kids. Then they shared a meal together on Sunday nights. 'It was really about the three kids and not about us,' Brigham said. 'I was just trying to find any way I could soften the blow.' The arrangement, commonly known as 'birdnesting,' aims to reduce disruption in children's lives while their parents are going through a split. Although divorce rates have declined in recent decades, there are still plenty of couples calling it quits. In 2023, more than 1.3 million Americans ended a marriage, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. Of course, no two divorces are alike. From the 'conscious uncoupling' popularized by actress Gwyneth Paltrow and musician Chris Martin, to the mutually assured destruction of marriages that end in emotional and financial wars, divorce experiences are all over the map. Leo Tolstoy had it right: Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. But for ex-couples who find themselves more on Paltrow's gentler end of the splitsville spectrum, nesting really can work. Before nesting, Brigham and her soon-to-be ex established strict rules for every potential issue they could think of. They committed to punctuality, promising to show up – and leave – at their appointed time. They agreed to always leave the shared space as clean as they found it. He would bring his own food or order out, instead of eating food she had purchased. He would sleep on a pullout and not enter her bedroom. They wouldn't look through one another's mail, electronics or other private things. And no other adults were allowed in the home unless they discussed it ahead of time. Your noon-hour look at what's happening in Toronto and beyond. By signing up you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc. Please try again This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. 'Setting those rules was really important,' she said. 'Little things become big.' The arrangement made her uneasy at first. She sometimes felt vulnerable and judged when he came to the house. What if he noticed new furniture and wondered where the money came from to buy it? Would he listen to her phone conversations when they were both at the house? 'It's not for everybody,' Brigham said. 'A lot of people read about it and think, 'I can do that.' But when you're in it, you have to settle in this complete discomfort. I don't think I ever got to the point where I thought it was really easy.' She would leave the house 15 minutes before Jim's scheduled arrival times to avoid an awkward interaction. The kids were with a sitter. She stayed in a friend's apartment nearby for the night, but woke at 5 a.m. to return and help them get ready for school so he could go to work. It was a grueling schedule, she said, but focusing on the well-being of the children carried them through. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. If approached with care and a spirit of cooperation, nesting can give children time to adjust to the new state of affairs while their parents go through what can be the most stressful time in their lives, said Ann Gold Buscho, a family therapist in Marin County, California, who advocates for nesting, so long as the parents can work together peacefully. Buscho, who helps her clients determine whether nesting might work for them, has first-hand experience with the practice. In 1994, long before 'birdnesting' entered the cultural lexicon, she and her former spouse split time living in a house with their children. Like many divorcing couples, their financial futures were uncertain, so they waited until they had more clarity before purchasing their own places. When not at home with the children, Buscho rented a room in a house with five other people, while he stayed with another woman with whom he had a relationship. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. 'He and I agreed on one thing, which was that we wanted to protect our kids,' she said. She was in her 40s and found herself bunking with several housemates as though she were back in college. It was uncomfortable and required her to swallow her pride. Shuttling between houses left her feeling unsettled, but she figured it's better for her to bear the brunt of the discomfort than her three children. The arrangement lasted 15 months, which gave both the adults and kids a chance to adjust to the new life, she said. Nesting can take many forms, especially for people in diverse financial situations. Off-duty parents often stay with friends or family, on an office sofa or in an Airbnb. One father Buscho encountered lived in a church with permission from his pastor. Some parents agree to share an off-site apartment and trade spaces every few days, although that's uncommon. Others might reconfigure an attic or garage as an auxiliary unit for the off-duty parent, but that can be confusing for the children, she said: 'Daddy's here, but we can't see him?' This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. The arrangements don't have to last long, although in rare cases, it becomes a way of life that works for people for years. Lori Badach and her ex-husband began nesting from their Buffalo-area home in February 2023 when their children were 13 and 10 years old. They're still doing it. They originally agreed to split responsibilities, but she ends up staying with the kids most school nights. He stays with his father when he's off-duty; she bunks with her sister. When they occasionally overlap in the house, he takes the guest room and she sleeps in the primary bedroom. Lori Badach helps her daughter pack for summer camp. Photo by Jalen Wright / For The Washington Post Although they are separated, they have been able to maintain trust in one another, Badach said. They travel together, on family vacations and for the kids' sports teams, and they still celebrate holidays as a family. The arrangement sometimes perplexes friends who struggle to understand how divorced people can continue to cooperate and coordinate schedules. Some might have a hard time grasping it, but focusing on the children and keeping their lives largely the same as it was while the marriage was intact helps, she said. While she's happy to talk about it, she doesn't feel the need to justify it to suspicious onlookers. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. It has gone so well that Badach has resisted opportunities to change the status quo. She recently considered buying a condo, but when she considered how well her kids were doing, she passed. 'My motto is it will work until it doesn't,' she said. The key to maintaining the health of any nesting arrangement is communication, Buscho said. Every detail and contingency should be sorted out, in writing, before starting. Parents should agree on the condition of the house when the other leaves. They should make a plan for how the bills should be split and who should pay them. They should even hammer out how they will communicate. How much notice should they give when they want to end the nesting? What kind of food should be in the pantry? Who will change the linens? Who will do the dishes? This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. Sometimes these conversations can be difficult and awkward. Can the divorcing couple bring new boyfriends or girlfriends back to the nest? Buscho worked with a couple who didn't have a plan for new relationships. The woman found a used condom in the bedroom and the arrangement fell into disarray. 'If they had discussed that ahead of time, it never would have happened,' Buscho said. Nesting isn't for everyone. Divorces are, after all, lawsuits – and the process can be cutthroat as both sides ready themselves for emotional warfare. Sharing a physical space during this time could spell disaster. Christine Leatherberry, adjunct professor and assistant dean for administration at Southern Methodist University's Dedman School of Law, has cautioned clients interested in nesting about the potential pitfalls. She advises that they only proceed under strict rules and for only a few months, at most. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. Often it's little things that end up eroding the agreement. People fight over the cleanliness of the house, whether the refrigerator is stocked or where the other person put the television remote. In particularly contentious divorces, the shared space can create temptation for sabotage. Leatherberry said she has seen couples that accessed private financial information on electronic devices left out, or private chats on a shared cloud. Electronics, she said, are 'where we see the most problems.' Some people snoop through garbage or place hidden cameras in bedrooms. In one extreme case, a colleague worked with a couple in which one parent put an illegal substance into the other's shampoo bottle to frame them before a drug test. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. 'It can go awry very quickly,' Leatherberry said. Nesting can also prolong the difficult process of accepting the change that comes with divorce, said Lynn Waldman, a collaborative divorce counselor in San Diego. 'It's harder for the parents to emotionally separate. Especially if it's the family home, then they're coming back every few days,' Waldman said. 'They're not able to really move on with their own separate life. Each parent should be able to have the opportunity to develop their own routine, their own roots in their own home, develop memories and traditions with the kids on their own time.' Still, nesting can work, especially when it's only meant for a brief season of life. On some occasions, it works out so well that it can last long after the divorce papers have been signed. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. As her children grew, Brigham and her ex-husband continued an evolving form of nesting for several years. She later married another man, a divorcé who also nested with his children. They bonded over their shared experience and chronicled it in a co-authored 2022 book. Brigham received a certificate in divorce mediation and now works as an adviser to help divorcing couples draw up a detailed plan for their split. Among her clients, she said, 80 percent show interest in nesting, but only about half of them go through with it. But, given the benefits to her growing children, her own 'six years of uncomfortable cohabitation,' as she put it, were worth it. 'For our kids it really made a huge difference,' she said. 'It allowed them to just be.' – – – Chris Moody is a writer based in Boone, N.C. 07-09-2025 10:53AM Toronto & GTA Olympics Uncategorized Sunshine Girls Toronto Blue Jays
Mint
29-06-2025
- Business
- Mint
The oil tycoon and the philosopher threatening Big Oil's carbon capture plans
Exxon Mobil, Occidental Petroleum and other oil giants are expected to receive billions of dollars of incentives to collect and bury carbon emissions. Texas oil billionaire Ben 'Bud" Brigham and pro-fossil-fuels activist Alex Epstein want to turn off the tap. Brigham, a serial entrepreneur and libertarian from Austin, is urging President Trump and the Republicans who are considering slashing a host of energy incentives to go further and nix tax credits for carbon capture. He says there is no climate disaster on the horizon, and that funneling public money into a nascent technology is a gift to oil behemoths. Brigham has teamed up with Epstein, a philosopher popular with Republicans. He is helping fund a push by Epstein to persuade the GOP to ax virtually all of former President Joe Biden's climate law, the Inflation Reduction Act—including subsidies for carbon capture. 'It's just taxpayer dollars that are going to virtue-signaling and are not having any meaningful economic impact at all," Brigham said in an interview. The magnate is joining a motley coalition critical of carbon capture. From Iowa to the Dakotas and Colorado, representatives, landowners and environmentalists oppose the subsidies, citing concerns about carbon-dioxide pipelines, misuse of federal funds and the national debt. Now, tensions are erupting inside the oil industry. Oil giants, under pressure to curb their emissions, hope that collecting and trapping their own releases will allow them to stay in business. But for some small producers that eschew public scrutiny, Big Oil is only giving into climate hysteria—and raising the cost of producing fossil fuels. 'Those big integrated oil-and-gas companies are betting on the future—that there'll be life after Trump," said Brigham McCown, a senior fellow at the Hudson Institute think tank and a paid consultant for carbon-capture project developers in the past. 'Whereas I think [for] the smaller producers, it's about making money today." Defenders of the credits include Occidental Chief Executive Vicki Hollub, who is betting on a plan to suck massive amounts of CO2 from the air, and Oklahoma oil billionaire Harold Hamm, whose company has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in a carbon-capture project. After Biden's IRA boosted incentives to up to $180 a metric ton of CO2 sequestered, large oil firms stepped up their investments. The Treasury Department estimated last year that the credits will cost more than $25 billion between 2025 and 2034. Many climate scientists say deploying the technology at a large scale is key to limiting climate change. Brigham says he doubts carbon capture can be profitable without public funding and that it is a distraction from firms' core mission of finding oil and gas. He says that the subsidies distort markets and encourage cronyism. A geophysicist by training, Brigham made his fortune building and selling two oil companies for a total of about $7 billion. He is an Ayn Rand fan who has produced two movies based on the philosopher's work. He was also a major backer of what is now the Civitas Institute, a conservative center that launched in 2022 at the University of Texas at Austin. Brigham first met Epstein, another Rand fan, about a decade ago. The two men bonded over a common belief in the importance of free markets and fossil fuels. Epstein is the author of 'The Moral Case for Fossil Fuels," a book saying that the imperative to fuel societies flourishing with oil and gas outweighs climate-change risks. It has given Republicans ammunition to counter the left's climate push, oil lobbyists say. Epstein asked Republican senators during a recent lunch to end all incentives. He has also made his case to the White House. In an interview, Epstein said subsidies, such as those for carbon capture and for wind and solar energy, prop up inefficient ways to crank out energy. Even if reducing CO2 releases mattered, he said, carbon capture would make a negligible dent in growing global emissions. 'If you do not terminate [subsidies] before the end of the Trump administration, then you have done nothing," he said he has told Republican lawmakers. His push is running into efforts by Occidental's Hollub and Hamm, as well as the American Petroleum Institute, the industry's biggest lobby, to not only keep the credits, but expand them. API's CEO Mike Sommers said the industry agrees on 99% of oil-and-gas-friendly provisions in Trump's megabill. 'This is an absolute home run for the oil-and-gas industry," he said. Vicki Hollub, chief executive officer of Occidental Petroleum, is betting on a plan to suck massive amounts of CO2 from the air. Hollub has said climate change is a major crisis and that her company needs to reduce emissions if it wants to be allowed to operate in the coming decades. The company plans to inject captured CO2 into oil fields to recover more crude, which it says will allow it to produce zero-carbon crude—and extend the U.S.'s energy independence. Hollub has visited the White House since Trump's election and personally made the case for the incentives to him. Occidental declined to comment. Hamm's Continental Resources has invested $250 million in a multibillion-dollar plan to gather carbon emissions from dozens of ethanol plants every year. The CO2 would be piped through a 2,000-mile network to North Dakota, where it would be sequestered and potentially used to extract more crude from oil fields. The project could receive billions in subsidies. At a December event organized by the Republican Study Committee, the largest conservative caucus in Congress, Hamm put on a forceful defense of carbon capture and sequestration as an environmental solution, according to attendees. Continental didn't respond to a request for comment. While pressure is mounting on the Senate to eliminate the credits, Republicans plan to retain and expand carbon-capture subsidies. Still, carbon-capture proponents face headwinds at the federal level. Energy Secretary Chris Wright, a climate skeptic, has accused the Biden administration of spending billions of dollars without proper due diligence. Last month, he announced the termination of awards totaling more than $3.7 billion, including to carbon-capture projects. Write to Benoît Morenne at
