Latest news with #BrownPope
Business Recorder
21-05-2025
- Politics
- Business Recorder
PARTLY FACETIOUS: Why doesn't First Uncle get a new Chairman of PCB?
'You know there is so much the West can learn from us!' 'Well, the food here is…' 'They have Pakistani and Indian food outlets in their country so no issues there. That is not what I was referring to.' 'Given your obsession with politics, I assume it has something to do with it.' 'Yes.' 'I thought a learning process was underway. Trump began the concept of the First Daughter from us….' 'Yes, but the former US First Daughter abandoned politics while the Pakistan First Daughter went up a notch – from First Daughter to Chief Minister.' 'Right, but I heard the Brown Pope is trying to muzzle his way in….' 'Can I make a suggestion: why doesn't First Uncle get a new Chairman of the Pakistan Cricket Board, and that would put the Brown Pope in his place.' 'Shut up. That would compel someone to change the page when….' 'Gotcha, anyway, when I said the West has to learn from us, I was referring to election management.' 'I wasn't aware that was a subject these days.' 'Yes it is – we had the head of the French spy agency telling Durov, the CEO of Telegram, not to post anything in favour of the right wing anti-Europe candidate…' 'That was denied promptly.' 'Ah, and since intelligence agencies all around the world tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth…' 'Oh shush, I propose that Nazir Tarar passes legislation that would make it a criminal offence to say anything nasty about Nawaz Sharif.' 'Well, a law cannot be person specific. I would advise him to make it a criminal offence to slap a politician in public. Did you hear of a French court sentencing Damien Tarel for slapping the French President to a prison term of 18 months, 14 of which were suspended.' 'Nah, perhaps letting loose a Gullu Butt would be…' 'Right anyway my suggestion to the West to effectively manage elections: introduce some forms, forms are good, forms are…' 'Shut up, by the way MrSadiq, and I would urge him to amend his name to add Amin as a middle name, said he heard a vote of no confidence is going to be tabled against him and said let it come.' 'I have it on good authority that MrSadiq filed an application in triplicate to do just that, but that would have required turning the page and…' 'Shhhh.' Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
Business Recorder
20-05-2025
- Politics
- Business Recorder
PARTLY FACETIOUS: Naming and shaming has lost its pungency worldwide
'Naming and shaming is a tool that is dead.' 'It was not even birthed in the Land of the Pure. I mean, we go through cycles…' 'Yes I know about the cycles – boom which requires import of raw materials which are used to manufacture an item that is not that high in value addition plus the import of fuel and cooking oil which leads to severe balance of payment issues and then viola we need another International Monetary Fund programme.' 'No, that's not what I was referring to when I observed that naming and shaming is a tool that was never birthed in the Land of the Pure. Those who were named and shamed by Greedy for Portfolios Samdhi (GPS), in his former avatar as Minister of Finance, began to name and shame those members of parliament who never paid taxes and…' 'Ah, but this from a guy who never explained his own income source – I mean…' 'The court…' 'Indeed the court's verdict depends on arguments by the defence attorney and the prosecutor so GPS waits till his counterpart Samdhi is back in a position of strength and then neutralizes the prosecutor…' 'He is now off to China…do you reckon that…' 'China has always stood the test of…of…' 'Of time?' 'Well more the test of our leadership leading the country towards ruin and China has stood by us, so my point is whatever GPS may do wrong, the Chinese will have our back.' 'You mean irrespective of whether we have GPS or the Brown Pope or…or…' 'Has the Brown Pope shown any interest…' 'Well I heard that Notification Maryam Nawaz would be very happy if the Brown Pope diverts his attention towards the Foreign Affairs portfolio as he has been undermining her authority and…' 'How can a Minister of Interior with a jurisdiction limited to Islamabad…' 'IF you come via Bhatinda as they say the jurisdiction is countrywide and the Brown Pope does come via Bhatinda, but you know you distract me from what I was wanting to say. Naming and shaming has lost its pungency world-wide. The leadership of the Western world is taking decisions that one cannot endorse, in Israel and in trying to keep the Russia-Ukrainian war ongoing and…' 'Remember the famous dialogue from an Indian film whose name I don't recall – I mean, you have money and power and influence on one side, but these can be easily trumped if you have maa (mother) on yours.' 'I don't get you.' 'The West has its mainstream media on its side.' 'Hmmmmm.' Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
Business Recorder
30-04-2025
- Politics
- Business Recorder
PARTLY FACETIOUS: There is a need to divest the Brown Pope of at least one of his hats
'I do think that the presence of all national leaders, not only regional, be ensured in the assembly…' 'Nawaz Sharif has not yet deigned…' 'He isn't well.' 'Well enough to travel to the UK, but not well enough to travel to Islamabad.' 'Remember Einstein.' 'Right, that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?' 'Nah, you can no longer accuse Nawaz Sharif of taking the same decision that didn't pan out well for him again and again just so he could prove that he was right all along.' 'Why not?' 'Because, my friend, the ground situation has changed.' 'If you are referring to the votes, his party actually got…' 'Nope, I am referring to the fact that his brother is the prime minister, and he isn't, I am referring to the fact that his heir is being constantly challenged by The Brown Pope….' 'I have it on good authority that the Brown Pope has laid down his arms…' 'But to show victory there is a need to divest the Brown Pope of at least one of his hats, I don't think the Interior Ministry hat is negotiable but the hat worn by the Chairman of the Cricket Board…' 'I heard even Talal Chaudhary rejected that hat, the cricket team is at a place where no one wants to take the responsibility, T Chaudhary even agreed to work under the Brown Pope rather than…' 'I know one man who will accept that portfolio.' 'From which party?' 'What?' 'A regional party – in Sindh or in Balochistan, may accept…' 'How about The Maulana? I mean wouldn't he be able to inspire the team and…and he can hold prayer meets….' 'Don't be facetious…..that's as out of the question as…as…as…' 'As was Brown Pope's appointments, but anyway I have it on good authority that Greedy for Portfolios Samdhi will accept the chairman ship.' 'Ha ha ha, anyway, my suggestion is to get Nawaz Sharif and the Man Who Must Remain Nameless and Faceless in the assembly…' 'One of them isn't a member of that august house.' 'This is the land of the Pure – a decision that smacks of purity must prevail.' 'Dear Lord.' Copyright Business Recorder, 2025
