10-06-2025
Giving Feedback To Your Boss: 5 Tips On How Not To Become A Target
Giving feedback to your boss--a senior executive, your supervisor or an important client--can be a scary and intimidating prospect, especially if they didn't ask for your opinion and especially during a time that layoffs haunt the corporate world. But your perspective matters, and if you work in a culture under a higher-up who values their employees, they welcome feedback so they can keep a pulse on how workers are engaged and performing. Even if the company culture is uncertain, there are strategies for you to give feedback without making yourself a target.
The process of addressing difficult conversations starts with your own fear of bringing up a sensitive matter with a person in authority. That's right. The fear of the consequences of being targeted troublemaker often causes employees and even sometimes higher-ups from addressing difficult conversations at work.
It's tricky to know how or when to have difficult conversations and give important feedback to someone in authority. The key in these tough-to-navigate situations is to prepare yourself and to put your fears aside and think critically before you present your points, leveraging strong situational awareness and emotional intelligence.
I spoke by email with Candice Pokk, senior consultant in the organizational effectiveness practice at HR consultancy Segal. Pokk says you can do a 'reverse performance review' in a way that's both productive and safe. She named five tips to keep in mind to navigate situations where you believe your feedback for higher-ups is essential, but you don't want to make yourself a target.
Pokk suggests that you avoid what she calls 'the feedback sandwich' and simply start on a positive note. She states that you might consider sharing something positive that your boss spearheaded that worked well or mention the impact he or she has made on the organization before launching into your feedback.
'Most people are doing their best to make a difference in the organization,' she points out. 'Showing some enthusiasm for the things they do well and acknowledging where they got it right, before sharing what they can do better, can go a long way both maintaining the relationship and ensuring the feedback is received and implemented.'
When you communicate from a place of care and concern for the higher good, your message is more likely to land in a positive way. Beginning with a criticism or a negative perspective could put the person in a defensive position, cause your feedback to fall on deaf ears and potentially sour your relationship.
'Before you share any feedback, make sure it's both helpful and appropriate for the recipient,' Pokk advises. 'It should also take into consideration the broader context and potential impacts of sharing the information." As an example, she recommends that if you're going to share feedback to a senior leadership team member, it should be relevant to that person's position and portfolio of work.
'Often feedback that you may initially think is critical for one person turns out to be better suited to someone else who has more direct day-to-day experience with the issue, yet still has authority over the work," she notes. 'You want your feedback to increase their engagement so make sure it's going to the right person.'
She also cautions that there may be times when sharing the feedback is not going to yield a net positive for the person receiving it. In those instances, she recommends that you might be better served by saving your feedback for another time and place.
Pokk stresses the importance of tailoring the feedback to the individual. She says you can do that by asking yourself if this is a person with whom you've had extended contact and have built lots of social capital and that knows you have their best interest at heart. If so, she explains that a candid dialogue would be appropriate. On the other hand, if this is someone with whom you have limited interaction, she warns that you may want to proceed with caution and consider asking yourself, might someone else be in a better position to share the information with this individual?
'Feedback should be given as close to the inciting incident as possible,' according to Pokk. 'Give it at a time when the recipient will be open to receiving the input and free of distraction. This is particularly critical when a specific or urgent situation arises. Waiting too long to provide the feedback can mean the opportunity to correct the situation is no longer an option or the individual may not recall the circumstances. In these instances, time is of the essence when providing the feedback.'
She adds that you should keep in mind that no one wants to receive feedback in a public forum. 'Early in my career there were stories of an executive that used to take pride in very publicly sharing criticisms with their team during meetings,' she recounts. 'Needless to say, the feedback was not well received, and the executive's reputation was harmed in the process.'
Pokk advises that you be extremely clear on your messaging and say it in a concise and constructive manner. 'Shorter is always sweeter,' she states. 'Rehearse ahead of time to ensure your message is succinct and doesn't include unnecessary details that distract from the point you want to get across.'
Studies show the feedback that matters most to employees from their bosses is both positive and negative as long as it's constructive. Perhaps the so-called feedback sandwich isn't ideal, but being a good manager definitely requires giving balanced opinions on employees' work. Unwritten workplace rules that are unspoken cause miscommunication and disconnection between employers and employees.
Communication and honesty are a reciprocal process, requiring balance between both parties. Pokk recommends a reverse performance review. So, when giving feedback to your boss, the best bet to get your point across with ease might be to use the science-backed findings of a balanced negative and positive perspective and a style similar to your employer's feedback system (assuming it's balanced) since their baked-in style is obviously familiar and comfortable for them.
