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Time of India

Our fault only

Bachi Karkaria's Erratica and its cheeky sign-off character, Alec Smart, have had a growing league of followers since 1994 when the column began in the Metropolis on Saturday. It now appears on the Edit Page of the Times of India, every Thursday. It takes a sly dig at whatever has inflated political/celebrity egos, and got public knickers in a twist that week. It makes you chuckle, think and marvel at the elasticity of the English language. It is a shooting-from-the-lip advice column to the lovelorn and otherwise torn, telling them to stop cribbing and start living -- all in her her branded pithy, witty style. LESS ... MORE One more absurd 'cause' for rape 'Attending late-night parties could invite rape or gang rape,' screamed posters plastered on Ahmedabad road dividers. Bet, many passers-by nodded sanctimoniously. However social media outrage over such sexist nonsense forced police to pull down what they themselves had green-lighted. Two senior officials red-facedly admitted that they'd given permission for an NGO's 'traffic awareness' campaign — but had failed to check its content. So once again women get the 'challan' for their violator's out-of-control libido – and leave the actual menace free to rape again The rare instances of men being told to refrain equally trivialise this grave and continuous crime. Haryana khap panchayat member Jitender Chhatar made the remarkable medical discovery that 'chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts'. So MSG actually stands for 'male sexual glutamate'? Wow! CPI leader Atul Kumar Anjan's finding was equally awesome. At a UP rally, he thundered that the 'condom ad featuring Sunny Leone will unleash more rapes'. He got his come-uppance: he 'kept vomiting' after watching porn, 'only for one-or two minutes' and, of course, 'only for research purposes'. Sometimes ''Tis not in ourselves, but in our stars, that we are …' Endorsing Shakespeare, a Bangalore astrologer concluded that 'Aries women are likely to be raped in the bathroom' and a Capricornian victimised by 'father, mother or colleague'. Sort of agreeing, the 94-year-old shankaracharya of Dwarka Peeth said women 'should stop all their drum-beating' over visiting the inner sanctum of Maharashtra's Shani Shingnapur temple. 'Worshipping Shani will bring ill luck to them and give rise to crimes against them like rape.' A day later, he blamed honeymooners and picnickers for the 2013 Kedarnath flash floods in Uttarakhand, warning that such a 'polluting' of sacred Hindu sites would lead to more disasters. So now we know that women only are to blame for 'wearing tight clothes' and not obeying such important rules. They never get raped because they belong to wrong caste, creed or class. Who asked them work in a powerful politician's house or public hospital; go on assignment to deserted mills; or take a late bus home? What's rape got to do with our indulgently saying 'boys will be boys'? Then, Sir, girls can also be girls, no? Hai hai, madam-ji, you mad or wot? *** Alec Smart said: 'Tariff pe tariff is trade justice delayed and denied.' Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email Disclaimer Views expressed above are the author's own.