3 days ago
Woman travelling 250 miles between Swansea and Essex to care for elderly parents
Lisa is caring for her elderly parents at both ends of the M4.
A woman from Swansea is travelling 250 miles between her home and Essex each week to care for her elderly mother and father.
Lisa Ferne, who provides full-time care to her father in Swansea, also travels 250 miles to Southend, Essex, each week to care for her mother.
Lisa, from Loughor, gave up her career in politics four years ago to look after her father after he developed dementia.
Months later, her mother lost her sight, meaning she needed to provide care to both elderly parents.
Like the sitcom Gavin and Stacey, Lisa maintains a long-distance relationship by travelling from her home in south Wales to Essex, driven by her love for both parents.
'You've got to face the M4 and the M25, it can take me anywhere up to nine hours for that journey," Lisa told ITV News.
'It takes a lot out of you being in the car for that amount of time. You get to the other side exhausted, you're sleeping in a different bed, and you are trying to catch up with everything mum needs the same day, so quite often I don't sleep very well.'
Lisa, 57, says despite being highly skilled, she has found it impossible to re-enter the workforce because of a lack of jobs flexible enough to support her caring responsibilities.
New research by the support group Carents has found that an estimated 400,000 workers in the UK retire early every year to care for their parents, while 44% of employers say losing staff to caring duties has harmed their business.
Lisa says her full-time caring duties have altered her life.
'It's hard sometimes, as you don't have contact with other human beings. You're fighting with medical people to try and get appointments or to try and get the right treatment for your parents.
'You don't get to see your friends anymore, family visits become few and far between. It becomes all-consuming.'
Despite having a supportive partner at home, Lisa says help and support are difficult to come by, with a feeling that the care she provides goes unnoticed.
'It's good to know there are others on the same journey as you, but it's really frustrating and upsetting that you have to fight to even get basic support sometimes from organisations like local authorities, who have adult care services set up, but they haven't got enough time or the people to give you the support you so desperately need.'
Dr Jackie Gray, founder of Carents said: 'Lisa's story is very special, but she is not unusual in our communities; we are seeing this every day. "Families are a lot more dispersed today, and we don't all live in the same home, street or city as our extended family.
'We commonly see carents travelling the whole country to keep their loved ones safe. But that is love, you go to great lengths to try and support those you love, but it is a massive undertaking.
"It does take its toll in the long run, and it's known that there are profound long-term impacts on the health and well-being of carents.'
