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The Advertiser
19 hours ago
- General
- The Advertiser
Inside the life of the sandwich generation: Caring for parents and teens
In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked. "They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia. Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said. The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail. Read more at The Senior: Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call". "Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior. "The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family." The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful. "When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said. *I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today. "I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence." Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation. Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show. "Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said. "Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!" The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week. The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks). Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE. In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked. "They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia. Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said. The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail. Read more at The Senior: Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call". "Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior. "The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family." The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful. "When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said. *I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today. "I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence." Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation. Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show. "Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said. "Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!" The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week. The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks). Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE. In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked. "They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia. Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said. The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail. Read more at The Senior: Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call". "Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior. "The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family." The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful. "When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said. *I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today. "I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence." Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation. Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show. "Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said. "Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!" The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week. The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks). Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE. In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked. "They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia. Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said. The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail. Read more at The Senior: Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call". "Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior. "The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family." The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful. "When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said. *I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today. "I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence." Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation. Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show. "Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said. "Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!" The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week. The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks). Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE.
Yahoo
a day ago
- Business
- Yahoo
"Care burnout" is costing Australians their health, careers, and up to $18K a year
9 in 10 Australians in the Sandwich Generation are experiencing signs of burnout, spending on average nearly 30 hours a week caring for older and younger generations SYDNEY, June 4, 2025 /PRNewswire/ -- Australia's "sandwich generation," juggling care for older and younger relatives, faces devastating impacts on wellbeing, reveals the Sandwich Generation Report 2025 by Australian Seniors. A staggering nine in 10 (90%) experience caregiving burnout, dedicating nearly 30 hours weekly—1,500 hours a year—to care, severely limiting personal time. "This report brings a hidden crisis to light; the burnout among sandwich generation carers is unsustainable and demands immediate attention," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia. These carers dedicate nearly 30 hours weekly—1,500 hours a year—to care, severely limiting personal time. This impacts social connections (48% affected) and leads to self-sacrifice, with 38% (44% of women) regularly prioritising others' needs. Financial and health tolls mount The rising cost of living intensifies financial strain. Nearly half (49%) find supporting both generations challenging, contributing up to $18,000 annually for ageing parents, while 83% also support younger relatives, often for essential daily living costs like groceries and bills. Concerningly, only 23% access financial support, often due to lack of awareness (39%). The health toll is severe, with many suffering in silence: 70% of carers over 50 report physical symptoms like chronic fatigue and pain. Emotional exhaustion (47%) and sleep disturbances (46%) are common. Nearly half (46%, 55% of women) never take health-focused breaks, with 65% fearing long-term wellbeing impacts. Workplace challenges and gender disparity Workplace pressures are acute: 52% report increased stress, and 53% receive only partial employer support. This forces difficult choices, with 53% choosing between care and career, and 61% (74% for dual carers) facing direct impacts on their financial independence or vital career progression opportunities, often stalling their professional growth. "Carers with supportive workplaces are significantly more likely to have healthy levels of wellbeing," stresses Reid, highlighting benefits for employers. The report underscores gender disparity: 48% of women feel societal pressure to be caregivers, and 64% believe they bear a greater family care burden. Despite challenges, carers seek solutions like exercise (37%) and peer support (31%). Reid emphasises that strong support networks "make a genuine, tangible difference to their wellbeing and ability to cope with these immense pressures." For more information on the Sandwich Generation Report 2025, click here View original content: SOURCE Australian Seniors Sign in to access your portfolio
The Guardian
02-05-2025
- Health
- The Guardian
‘I could never, ever not care for her': how do carers know when to stop caring for those they love?
Don Campbell and his wife, Marjorie, energetically travelled the world together. 'We've had wonderful times' he says. They had season tickets to the symphony and opera – until illness intervened. 'We've always done lots of theatre and music.' But the 'lots and lots of memories' are fading now for Marjorie. She has rheumatoid arthritis and was diagnosed with dementia two-and-a-half years ago. Now she will ask him up to five times a day 'what have we got to do today?' It requires, he says, 'a huge amount of patience'. Her mobility is failing, she is losing her balance, she has frightening falls, soon she will be in a wheelchair. But no matter what happens from here Don is adamant: 'She is not going into care, she is going to be looked after at home by me.' About to turn 80, Don has been caring for Marjorie for the past eight years. Without family help he does the housework, the cooking and showers her. If he has to go anywhere, 'she comes too'. This is love, the real thing. 'She's just my special friend, the love of my life, my soul mate. It is just something so special that I can never, ever not love her. I could never, ever not care for her.' Campbell is one of 3 million unpaid carers in Australia who are providing care worth about $78bn, according to 2020 figures. They provide a vital lifeline for their ailing family member. But, how precarious these relationships can be was borne out in the death of actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, in Santa Fe and David Lodge and his carer father, Peter, in the UK; both cases in which a carer died, leaving their loved one alone, and ultimately to die, soon after. What happens in those caring homes when something catastrophic happens to the carer? Many carers don't even know they are carers. Barbra Williams, Dementia Australia's director of client services, says research has shown 'that there are many hidden carers who don't know what services and support is available to them'. They are just doing what they have always done, looking after their family. 'For older carers they just assume it is their role' says Dr Mel Mylek of the University of Canberra and lead researcher on Carers Australia's Carer Wellbeing Survey. 'They just need to care for their husband because he is getting older or their wife because she is getting frail.' And they are doing it 24/7, without holidays, days off or any respite. Often they are in a perilous situation as their own health starts to deteriorate. Don knows he needs to look after himself but it is difficult. 'I don't ever have me time. I now neglect the things that I really enjoy.' At the moment he is in good shape, 'I've still sort of got energy to do things'. But he gets anxious when Marjorie is 'looking really, really not well. She has problems with her breathing, there have been a few times when I thought I was going to lose her.' His biggest concern, the constant underlying worry is, 'If anything happens to me with my health, what happens to my wife?' In the UK, Peter Lodge was a dedicated full-time carer for his son, David, who had a range of complex health conditions which left him blind and unable to talk. He used a Lightwriter to communicate. When Peter died suddenly, David was left helpless on his own, unable to call for help. They were there for seven days in the winter cold before David's sister discovered them lying together on the floor. Found with pneumonia and severe dehydration, David died 13 hours later. When Betsy Arakawa died suddenly, Gene Hackman was left on his own in their home in a state of advanced Alzheimer's disease. He died a week later of heart disease. By the time their bodies were discovered they were mummified. It is 'very' isolating, says Campbell, who admits he sometimes goes and sits in a corner and cries. After the dementia diagnosis he stopped hearing from friends of many years. Emails and phone calls went unanswered. 'They just don't want to be watching this decline happen,' he says matter of factly. 'Roughly 50% of people caring with someone with dementia are caring alone,' Williams says. Twenty-five per cent of dementia carers have been caring for more than 10 years. 'That can take a huge toll on someone when it has been that long,' Williams says. Mylek's research for the 2024 Carers Wellbeing Survey found that carers need to be cared for too. They have higher than average rates of psychological distress, are more than twice as likely to have low levels of wellbeing and are significantly likely to experience loneliness. They can also be worried about money. 'The older carer has to continue caring, but they often don't have money to help them as they themselves need support.' There is no happy ending for Campbell or any family carer. 'You're watching someone slowly die,' Campbell says. 'There is a big emotional and cognitive load on carers' says Annabel Reid, the chief executive of Carers Australia. 'It is very distressing to have someone you love change who no longer recognises you and is not be able to speak. We need to do more to support carers. They are really doing a community service and they themselves are paying the price.' Older carers, Reid says, 'may be losing mobility and need to lift the person they are caring for or help them downstairs or manoeuvre a wheelchair. These things get more challenging as people get older. They never get to retire.' Carers Australia is underfunded, she says, for supports like respite. 'Which is care for someone so a carer can take a break. They have their own medical emergency to attend to. What would you do? If you are in a rural area there is just no one to help.' In 2019 Penny Dressler was still skiing and going to the gym. Now because of Alzheimer's she can't do anything for herself. 'She just sits in wheelchair' says her husband, John, 80. A self-funded retiree, Dressler can afford to have carers come in. He will keep Penny at home 'until I am unable to do it. I keep telling people I know where the red line is, but I don't know that I do. I am doing it because I want to do it.' He says he doesn't want to visit her in a nursing home. 'How long can I be in one little boxed room with her before I go nuts? I visit other people who are in a care home and I leave the place emotionally drained.' At home, he can talk to her. 'When I wake up in the morning I've still got somebody in the room with me, I know she's there.' Dressler, who admits to being a grumpy old man, says the worst thing people can say to him is 'I know what you're going through. You've got no bloody idea.' While Dementia Australia has a range of services, including a 24-hour call line, Barbra Williams says: 'We always say to carers, if you are unwell what happens then? You need to put in plans so that if something happens to you things can continue while you are recovering. Early planning is really important, before anything happens. Hopefully before dementia has progressed that way the person with dementia can have some input into the planning as well. And you have to prioritise your own wellbeing.' While carers reported to the Carers Wellbeing Survey that they were exhausted and burned out, Reid says 'some carers feel powerfully motivated to look after someone, usually out of love but it can also be a sense of duty or responsibility. And some carers feel that it really gives their lives purpose.' It is an experience that crosses over all barriers: age, class, fame, country. Former US chatshow host Jay Leno is one who has spoken openly about the purpose and difficulty caring adds to his life. Leno chooses to mostly care for his wife of 45 years, Mavis, who has advanced dementia, himself. 'It's a challenge' he says 'having to feed her, change her, carry her to the bathroom. It's not that I enjoy doing it but I guess I enjoy doing it. 'I like taking care of her. I like that I am needed. That's really what love is.'
