Inside the life of the sandwich generation: Caring for parents and teens

The Advertiser

2 days ago

In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked.
"They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia.
Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail.
Read more at The Senior:
Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call".
"Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior.
"The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family."
The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful.
"When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said.
*I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today.
"I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence."
Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation.
Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show.
"Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said.
"Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!"
The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week.
The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks).
Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE.
In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked.
"They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia.
Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail.
Read more at The Senior:
Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call".
"Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior.
"The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family."
The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful.
"When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said.
*I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today.
"I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence."
Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation.
Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show.
"Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said.
"Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!"
The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week.
The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks).
Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE.
In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked.
"They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia.
Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail.
Read more at The Senior:
Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call".
"Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior.
"The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family."
The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful.
"When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said.
*I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today.
"I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence."
Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation.
Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show.
"Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said.
"Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!"
The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week.
The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks).
Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE.
In some cultures, looking after your elderly parents is part of society norm, in others it's mandated by law (like China and France). In Australia, it can be a personal choice, though many are oblivious to their role and don't identify as a "carer" - meaning wellbeing is often overlooked.
"They think 'I'm just looking after my parents' or, you know, 'I'm just caring for a child with special needs' ... [and are not] seeking those supports that are available to them, like respite or counselling, or peer groups that may help," said Annabel Reid, CEO of Carers Australia.
Most carers will care for years before they seek out assistance, meaning they're usually in "quite a bad place when they seek help", Ms Reid said.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates 11.9 per cent of the population were carers in 2024 - including 1.2 million primary carers and 1.9 million carers who were not primary carers - who support a family member or friend who has a disability, mental illness, drug and/or alcohol dependency, chronic condition, terminal illness or who is frail.
Read more at The Senior:
Linley Wilkie, a journalist with ACM (publisher of this masthead), is the eldest child in her family, "and usually [her] parent's first port of call".
"Dad is 83 and Mum is 74. They've been fit, healthy and socially active for most of their lives, however, things took a turn when Dad was diagnosed with melanoma at the end of 2019," she told The Senior.
"The ongoing immunotherapy treatment has been amazing, but it ultimately rocked their world and I feel like my status as 'firstborn' grew to include 'carer' at about this point ... on the flip side, care for my teenage sons is daily, filled with the usual things you'd expect in a busy family."
The Victorian resident lives an hour and 20-minutes drive from her parents, so teaching them "lifehacks" (like how to do online shopping, how to spot a scam email or how to find Cancer Council support services) and outsourcing jobs like cleaning where she can has been helpful.
"When I visit, I'll drive them to the post office, or the bank, and other services they feel more comfortable still undertaking in person," she said.
*I think I'd feel incredibly guilty if I wasn't in a position to look after them at the drop of a hat ... not because they'd impress guilt upon me, but because I was brought up to appreciate the importance of people looking after each other - I feel that deeply when it concerns the person who raised me to be who I am today.
"I genuinely love caring for them! There's a real sense of pride and satisfaction in seeing them regain their health and independence."
Ms Wilkie said she was fortunate to have no financial implications for being "sandwiched between the needs of her ageing parents and growing teenage sons", though she does feel "overstretched" on occasion - a plight of many others in a similar situation.
Ms Wilkie said she tries to manage her wellbeing by taking time out for herself, like catching up with friends or watching a favourite television show.
"Simple things that give me joy and require minimal effort," she said.
"Try not to feel bad for yourself when you're doing the caring while others wait, being able to look after the generations before and after you is part of many modern-day families. Cherish the time you have left with your parents and instil similar values in your children, so that one day, caring for you will come naturally to them (aka the circle of life)!"
The latest research around the "sandwich generation" has revealed on average, caregivers spend around 31.7 hours on average per week doing unpaid care for both older and younger generations, juggled with around 21 hours on average of work each week.
The Australian Seniors: Sandwich Generation Report 2025 also found nine in 10 of those surveyed had experienced caregiving burnout (emotional and physical exhaustion, sleep issues), 65 per cent of those surveyed were concerned about long-term health impacts of caregiving, though a third of carers reported they did engage in self-care strategies (like regular exercise, seeking support and taking breaks).
Join the conversation. Share your thoughts in the comments below, or send a Letter to the Editor by CLICKING HERE.