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The Herald Scotland

Braveheart at 30: Enduring classic or masterclass in Scottish cringe?

I was juggling a clutch of part-time jobs to save up money and, let's be honest, the only battle most teenagers cared about that year was the Battle of Britpop: Blur vs Oasis. I remember the workies and lorry drivers, who came into the greasy spoon transport cafe where I flipped burgers and served fried egg rolls, having heated discussions about Braveheart's inaccuracies and debating the thorny subject of Scottish independence. Read more They opened rolled-up copies of the tabloid newspapers, like a town crier unfurling a scroll, jabbing calloused fingers at headlines about the movie. There was, quite rightly, much teeth-gnashing about Braveheart being shot largely in Ireland rather than Scotland. None of these conversations particularly made me want to part with my hard-earned cash to see it on the big screen. I recall my parents going to the local cinema and raving afterwards about how much they enjoyed it. In subsequent years, Braveheart became my mum's 'ironing film', one that she would stick on to watch while working her way through a towering basket of clothes and linens. At two hours and 58 minutes in length, she usually had time to rustle up a few freezer meals and stick a couple of loads in the washing machine too. For those unfamiliar with the premise, Braveheart – according to the succinct blurb on Disney+ – promises 'romance, intrigue, heroism and the desperate battle for nothing less than the freedom of Scotland'. Catherine McCormack and Mel Gibson (Image: Twentieth Century Fox) Directed by and starring Mel Gibson, the Oscar-winning flick is based – loosely – on the life of William Wallace who, in the late 13th and early 14th centuries helped lead the First War of Scottish Independence. The world premiere of Braveheart took place at the Seattle International Film Festival on May 18, 1995. Yet, it wasn't until almost four months later that Scottish audiences finally got to see it, with a star-studded screening in Stirling on September 3 and the official UK release five days later. Unsurprisingly, this interim period allowed for much feverish excitement to build on this side of the Atlantic. The hyperbole was almost unprecedented. Some hailed it an instant classic, others shuddered at the twee depiction of Scottish history. Which camp do I fall into? Thirty years later it is finally time to find out. Gird your loins… ***Warning: spoilers for Braveheart follow*** INAUSPICIOUS BEGINNINGS Things don't get off to a great start. The early scenes are a tedious watch. Slower than a week in the jail. And not just the first 10 minutes – the entire opening hour. Every hero needs an origin story: a timely recap of the watershed events that shaped our leading man. Instead, the unwitting viewer is held hostage to a rambling and onerous odyssey that makes Tolstoy's War and Peace seem like a concise novella. WHERE ARE YOU FAE? The mismatched accents among the cast and characters showcase a smorgasbord of dialects – both real and imaginary. Wallace's father has a definite Dublin brogue, while the young version of his son is broad Glaswegian. Then, when Gibson appears as the older William Wallace, his Scots twang is far softer, like he's spent years working in a call centre and diluted his dulcet tones in order to be understood by folks down south. To give US-born, Australia-raised Gibson his due, it is a passable effort and far from the worst Scottish accent caught on celluloid – we certainly aren't talking the heinous levels of Christopher Lambert in Highlander. Braveheart has a stramash of accents (Image: 20th Century Fox) PRODUCTION VALUES The rolling mist looks a bit rubbish at times, like dry ice piped onto the dancefloor of Clatty Pats in Glasgow. The costume department, meanwhile, utilises more crushed velvet for regal tunics, gowns and cloaks than a millennial living room with a Live, Laugh, Love sign on the wall. Gibson's hair serves as a barometer for Wallace's growing anger and thirst for vengeance. It gets frizzier and more bouffant as the film progresses, eventually resembling that of a 1980s glam metal band frontman – think Bon Jovi, Motley Crue, Poison – after a five-day bender. The good news: I can actually see what's going on. Unlike the recent fashion for gloomy ambiance, where peering at the TV is like perusing a paint chart of murky greys – a la Game of Thrones or The Handmaid's Tale – Braveheart, despite the grain of analogue, is joyfully well-lit. Also, the haunting and evocative tune A Gift of a Thistle from the movie soundtrack by James Horner, would bring a tear to a glass eye. QUOTABLE DIALOGUE The famed speech given by Wallace at Stirling in Braveheart is rousing stuff, as he rallies the 'sons of Scotland' to stand up 'in defiance of tyranny'. Capping it off with the now immortal battle cry: 'They may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom.' The film is peppered with canny one-liners. Among them King Edward I, aka Longshanks, telling his inner court: 'The trouble with Scotland is that it's full of Scots.' A sentence that astutely captures the stance taken by many adversaries of a similar ilk throughout the centuries. Another gem I would love to see emblazoned on a coffee mug, keyring or slogan T-shirt is Wallace's quip: 'I never lie. But I am a savage.' And not to forget his other profound utterance: 'Every man dies, not every man really lives.' HISTORICAL INACCURACIES Enough of the pleasantries, let's get down to brass tacks. I'm usually pretty good at suspending my disbelief when it comes to daft twists and tropes. I will cheerily gloss over geographical blunders, gaping plot holes and cringeworthy continuity errors. Being able to enjoy a story solely for its entertainment merits is a gift. Albeit, sadly, one that swiftly abandoned me while watching Braveheart. Having fun with artistic licence is one thing – you can't beat a whimsical, outlandish tale – but cherry-picking historical detail and presenting it in a way that is so far removed from reality that it becomes a grotesque caricature? Umm, that's a hard pass from me. Braveheart peddles a narrative that is contradictory, vexing and downright infuriating. This has been well documented. I'm not imparting anything new here. Yet, it still rankles. Not least, the trite suggestion that one of Wallace's prime motivations for pursuing independence and opposing English rule is avenging the murder of his wife. HOWLERS GALORE The Battle of Stirling Bridge is crucially missing a bridge. An element which, in the real-life conflict of 1297, was key to securing a Scottish victory by providing a strategic chokepoint to ambush English forces. Instead, we see Braveheart's portrayal play out against a backdrop of The Curragh, a flat, open plain in County Kildare, Ireland – more reminiscent of The Carse of Stirling, where Robert the Bruce triumphed some 17 years later at the 1314 Battle of Bannockburn. MY BIGGEST GRIPE There is a pivotal encounter between Wallace and Bruce in Braveheart, which comes after the former believes he has forged a strong bond and alliance with the latter. Edward Longshanks rocks up to the 1298 Battle of Falkirk accompanied by a band of loyal lackeys. Among them, a knight whose identity is concealed by a large metal helmet – giving big vibes of sci-fi parody character and novelty political candidate Lord Buckethead. As the king and his entourage depart, Wallace sets off in pursuit. The mysterious knight turns back to confront Wallace. In the ensuing skirmish, Wallace pulls off his opponent's helmet and, in a hammy moment akin to a Scooby-Doo villain being unmasked, we learn that it is Bruce. I could imagine gasps of shock in cinemas at this juncture. I certainly let out a howl of outraged indignation. Yes, Bruce did ally with the English when it best suited his own cause, but he was never recorded as standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Longshanks at Falkirk. To suggest so, even in the most florid embellishments of Hollywood fiction, feels a colossal slight to Bruce as a major Scots hero. And, as much as I wanted to see beyond the myriad flaws and foibles of Braveheart, this, for me, was the straw that broke the camel's back. THE VERDICT Flashes of brilliance, some killer lines, however, far too many liberties taken with important Scottish history. It will likely be another 30 years before I watch it again.