Latest news with #ChandraShekharVarma
Time of India
03-08-2025
- General
- Time of India
Peer pressure: Gen Z's invisible roommate
By: Chandra Shekhar Varma Recently, during a workshop for students at a school in Noida, a Class 11 girl had a strange query: 'How do I get rid of my friends?' This question was shocking. Tired of too many ads? go ad free now She was asked why she wanted to get rid of her friends. Chandra Shekhar Varma 'I feel stressed when I'm with them. They're constantly talking about their fancy gadgets, their visits to the new café, or trying weird stuff,' she answered. She was clearly under immense stress caused by her peers, who, without intending to, were creating emotional trauma for her. If there's one roommate Gen Z didn't ask for but can't seem to get rid of, it's 'peer pressure'. It doesn't bang on your door. It quietly slips into your DMs, your reels, your playlist, even your gym routine. Back in the day, peer pressure was mostly about who's bringing the bigger lunch box or how someone scored higher in the board exams. Today, it sounds more like: 'Why aren't you building a startup at 17, going on solo trips, posting Reels, and being emotionally evolved'. No generation in history has had this much access to each other's lives. A single scroll can make you feel like you're behind in a race you never even signed up for. Your best friend is interning at Google. Someone from school is launching a podcast. And there you are, just proud of being able to cook your noodles. The problem is that this constant comparison isn't inspiring. It's exhausting. You're not just expected to succeed; you must look like you're succeeding. In a story. In a frame. With the right filter. Tired of too many ads? go ad free now Even failure should be aesthetic now. And it's not just about careers. From body image to hobbies, politics to playlists, there's a silent social scoreboard running in the background. Even your tastes are under peer surveillance. But here's the twist. Peer pressure survives because we keep giving it power. It feeds on our silence, our scrolling, our need to belong. So, what do we do? First, let's normalise not doing everything at once. Not every 23-yearold needs to be a founder or a philosopher. It's okay if your greatest achievement today was cleaning your room. That's growth too. Second, curate your feed like you'd curate your plate. Not everything that's trending is good for your system. Third, talk about it. Peer pressure thrives in echo chambers. Break the echo. Say it out loud, 'I don't want to do that'. And that's okay. Finally, remember that growth is not a group project. You can cheer for others without comparing timelines. You are the best version of yourself. You don't need a trend check. (The writer is a behavioural scientist, leadership coach and a relationship counsellor)
Time of India
06-07-2025
- General
- Time of India
Confused at crossroads?: Take a pause & listen to your inner voice
Growing up, previous generations faced limited choices, unlike Gen Z navigating a world of endless possibilities and overwhelming options. While this abundance can lead to confusion, it's a byproduct of opportunity. When we were growing up, life offered limited choices. Career paths were straightforward. Entertainment had its boundaries. The lucky ones had a TV at home, but even for them, options were few. At 7.30pm, the only dilemma was whether to watch 'Krishi Darshan', a programme for farmers, or stare at the ceiling. Simpler? Yes. Less overwhelming? Definitely. Now imagine Gen Z. They're not standing at a simple fork in the road; they're at a full-blown traffic junction with 97 blinking signs. There are thousands of careers, dozens of passions, millions of opinions, and a strange algorithm constantly suggesting what to eat, wear, watch, or even feel. And ironically, it's the older generation (us), the very people who built this multichoice world, who now say, 'You kids are so confused these days'. But let's be fair. Options aren't the enemy. Confusion isn't a flaw. It's the byproduct of possibility. Real art lies not in avoiding choices but in learning how to choose wisely. Sometimes, you'll choose the wrong option but that's okay. In fact, it's brilliant. Because failure isn't a detour; it's the actual syllabus. The jobs you quit, the friendships that faded, the courses you didn't finish — they're all part of your growth chart. It's not wasted time; it is a character being carved. Just don't hang on to the wrong choices, either by sulking over them or convincing yourself they deserve another chance. 'To be or not to be…' when Shakespeare wrote those lines, he couldn't have imagined an entire generation would ask themselves the same thing 20 times a day. Having options is a privilege. Indecisiveness is a burden. So, what should you do when you're stuck at a crossroads? Take a pause. Step back from scrolling, opinions, and the buzz. Look beyond Instagram filters and viral success stories. Mute the noise for a bit. Listen to that quiet voice inside — the one that doesn't scream but always knows. Make one decision. Not necessarily a perfect one, just a brave one, and walk that path. If you stumble, learn from it. Course-correct if needed. Remember, you're not supposed to have it all figured out at 20. Or even at 30. Life isn't a single choice. It's a series of them. Each turn, each mistake, each restart adds up to the story only you can tell. And if you're stuck, start eliminating. Sometimes, clarity doesn't come from choosing. It comes from crossing things out. In a lighter vein…The next time you find yourself at a crossroads, don't freeze. Flip a coin, if you must. Not to let chance decide, but to listen to your gut while the coin is in the air. Chandra Shekhar Varma (The writer is a behavioural scientist, leadership coach and a relationship counsellor)
