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How to Decide Whether Your Child Is Ready for Organized Sports
Reviewed by Wayne Fleisig, Ph.D.
Key Points
Preschool age kids might benefit more from unstructured free play than the rules-based system of organized sports
No matter what, kids of all ages should have a balance of free and structured play in their lives
If your child has too much on their plate, parents should compromise on ways to cut back to avoid stress and burn out
When you're a young, most sports are played in spontaneous pickup games set up among the neighborhood kids. But if you're a kid who really enjoys a certain sport, or proves to especially skillful, that unstructured format eventually gives way to organized teams, expensive camps, and traveling across the country for tournaments. The cultural shift has been so seismic that now, many millennial and Gen Z parents are starting to wonder how to balance free play with organized sports teams.
The truth is, there are benefits to both. Experts say free play helps foster greater creativity and independence, while an organized sport will teach discipline and teamwork. Those are all great lessons for kids to learn—at an appropriate age. There is in fact such a thing as being too young to really benefit from joining an organized sports team.
So we talked to several experts to find out when's the optimal time to enroll your kids, and what to know before you do—plus they offered tips for finding a healthy balance between structured activities and open free play. Read on.
What's the best age for kids to be enrolled in organized sports?
The best age for kids to be introduced to organized sports depends a lot on your child, so it can vary from family to family.
'The key is development readiness,' says Tokunbo Akande, MD, an integrative pediatrician and the founder of Harmony 360 Health. Generally, Akande says, many kids start to do well with organized team sports around the ages of 6 and 7—or when they've developed some coordination and can follow basic rules.
"By 8 or 9, many are ready to compete and play strategically,' says Akande. 'But there's no universal 'should.' It depends on the child's interest, family logistics, financial ability, and even the child's health.'
When children start school—around kindergarten or older—can also be a good time to consider introducing organized sports. According to Anita Cleare, a parenting expert and the author of The Working Parent's Survival Guide, that's when their social skills and ability to concentrate also improve.
Younger, preschool aged children may do better with free play or activities that are less structured. 'As soon as children can walk, they need lots of opportunities to move their bodies and develop their motor skills,' Cleare explains. 'But for pre-schoolers, this is best achieved through fun physical play rather than formal team sports.'
How many extracurriculars are too many?
Cleare says all children need a 'balanced play diet' that includes a range of activities, like sports and music, as well as time for self-led play and relaxing downtime. So if you find that your child's schedule is all sports—and nothing else—it might be worth considering cutting back or introducing other hobbies they might like too.
Above all, parents need to think less about hitting some perfect amount of extracurriculars, and pay more attention to their specific kid's needs—whether or not they are thriving in certain activities or just going through the motions, making friends, improving their skills, and applying those skills to situations outside the activity in question.
'I don't think there's a magic number of too many or too little,' adds Janine Domingues, PhD, a clinical psychologist with the Child Mind Institute. 'It really is about parents and caregivers taking a step back and understanding if these extracurriculars are helping a child explore something they enjoy. For some kids, just one activity is enough. For others, they like to be busy and involved, and that's okay too. It's about helping them foster a sense of what they're enjoying.'
What Are Some Signs That a Child Isn't Ready for Organized Sports, or Is Overwhelmed By Extracurriculars?
Parents need to remain engaged with their child's emotional response to the activities in which they are enrolled, otherwise they might miss important cues. 'When something stops being fun, most kids will say so or try to quit,' says Akande. But even if they don't tell you, there are signs. Those are:
They don't want to leave the house.
They go, but they're on autopilot and not engaging in the activity.
They're frequently stressed or fatigued.
They have recurrent illnesses or mood changes.
They're getting failing grades at school.
The child has a hard time being on their own without anything organized.
How to Know It's Time to Cut Back
Any of these could be signs that your child is burned out, stressed, or experiencing anxiety. Domingues says some of that—like not wanting to leave the house—is a normal response from kids on occasion. 'But if it's happening often, it might be time to take a step back and look at the schedule to determine if there are too many things [on their plate],' she says.
If you're still not sure, simply ask your child how they feel about their team or schedule. 'If they're dreading going or hemming and hawking and not wanting to do it, it might not be because they don't like the sport,' Domingues says.
It could be that the atmosphere is too competitive, the coach is overly harsh, or they're playing at a level that is so challenging it makes them feel defeated. Open communication with your child allows you to get to the bottom of why they might be suffering, and how to help.
Are Organized Sports or Free Play Better for Kids?
Kids need to have a balance of free play and structured organized sports in order to develop into well-rounded adults. Free play is where they can make up games on their own terms, fueling their creativity and imagination. Akande mentions that free play also fosters 'emotional regulation and independence.'
At the time, enrolling your child in an organized sports team provides a whole slew of different but equally important benefits which is why they need both.
'There will be highs and lows in sports, and sometimes decisions will be made that seem unfair—such as not being picked for the team. Framed positively, these experiences can help children develop emotional skills, resilience, and perseverance,' says Anita Cleare, a parenting expert and the author of The Working Parent's Survival Guide. 'Team sports help children learn essential people skills, which are valuable for their social, emotional, and academic success. And losing in sport is also a great way to learn to pick yourself up and try again.'
Take a look at your family schedule and make sure you're not over-emphasizing one over the other.
What to Do Before for Enrolling Your Child in Organized Sports
So, your kid is ready to start team sports? According to the experts, there are several actions you can do to ensure they get the most out of the experience without feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
Understand why you're enrolling your child in a team sport
There's nothing wrong with enrolling pre-school aged kids in sports camps, Domingues says, as long as it's about social development and introducing them to new activities. 'Before the age of about 10 or 11, it really should be about exposing your child to different activities so they get a sense of the things they enjoy doing,' the expert says.
Follow your child's lead
Pay attention to your kid's needs and what they want, instead of focusing on what you want for them. 'Always be led by your child's interests and temperament,' says Cleare. If they find large groups difficult, for example, you could explore more individual options like swimming or golfing. If they're always complaining about going to too many activities, collaborate with your child to decide how to cut back.
'[That] requires open communication and seeing how your child is feeling about what they're doing,' says Domingues.
Start slow and introduce one sport at a time
Throwing your kid into multiple unfamiliar activities at once can quickly lead to feelings of overwhelm. And remember, not every moment of your child's day needs to be booked up with an activity—there are benefits to downtime and even boredom.
'Many sports can be picked up later in childhood, so don't rush to do them all at once,' Cleare says. Parents also need time to adjust to a new schedule, too, as well as moments where the family can relax without pressure to be somewhere.
Driving children around to lots of different activities—not to mention staying on top of their calendar, payments, and all that equipment—can add stress. 'So if a hectic schedule is turning you into a stressy parent, it might be time to rethink,' Cleare says. Consider if you could do any of the activities your child likes in a more relaxed, informal way as a family before going all-in on a team sport—like playing catch or pickup basketball games in the backyard.
Check in frequently
Keep lines of communication open between you and your child by reminding them that you aren't here to judge or shame them, to help them decide what activities not just benefit the most, but that also make them happy.
'You know your child best,' Cleare says. 'Observe their behaviour and chat with them frequently about their activities. If your child is experiencing sensory overload (from a noisy swimming pool, for example) or not wanting to join in [with the rest of the team], or if they are exhausted and the extracurriculars are getting in the way of their learning, then it might be time to take a step back.'
It's ok if kids get a little frustrated during sports, she says. 'That's part of figuring out how to work as a team and developing their skills. But if they are regularly distressed, then you might want to explore alternative activities.'
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