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New York Post
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- New York Post
I'm a 47-year-old virgin — and here's why I'm terrified of being intimate
A man says he is still a virgin at 47 as he is 'petrified' to be intimate with anyone. Andrew Brookman says he's always been 'timid' and struggled with bullying at school. His parents divorced when he was aged 10 which fueled his fear of being social, getting into a relationship or being intimate with anyone, he claims. Andrew didn't want to go through arguments and had a 'fear of life' so felt he would 'rather be on my own.' UK man Andrew Brookman says he is 'petrified' to be intimate with anyone. Dmitrii Kotin – He says his fears also stemmed from suppressing his sexuality and homophobia he saw at the time he was growing up. Porn became his 'only outlet' and reference for sex and Andrew says he struggled with an addiction to watching it for up to a two hours a night everyday when he was in his 30s. Now he is starting to open up about his sexuality and is no longer ashamed of being a 47-year-old-virgin. He feels he can relate to those on Channel 4's new show, 'Virgin Island' — a unique course in intimacy to help them overcome the fears that are holding them back. Andrew, a cleaner from Wales, said: 'I've never been in a relationship. 'Watching other people get divorced — and seeing arguments gave me a fear of being social and intimate. 'I didn't want to go through all that. 'I'd rather be on my own. 'You feel a sense of shame [being a virgin]. 'Having no confidence, no self-esteem and no self-worth and being repressed of sex drove me to seek therapy because I was petrified of getting intimate with anybody. 'I am not ashamed of being a virgin at 47.' Andrew struggled growing up and always felt he was 'different.' He said: 'I've always been timid and quiet. 'I've always been afraid, I've always been emotional. 'I got bullied in school. 'I was different. I was odd.' As a teenager he 'fancied girls' but didn't know how to progress any further. He said: 'I wanted to move forward but I couldn't because of my confidence.' At aged 16, Andrew realized he was attracted to men and gay but he was fearful of opening up about his sexuality due to homophobia in society at the time. He said: 'The fear grew. 'I went into the closet.' In his late 20s he had therapy and was put on anti-depressants but Andrew still struggled to get passed his fear. He also tackled a porn addiction in his 30s when he got his own place — which saw him watch gay porn every night. Andrew said: 'It was my only outlet. 'It was my only way of feeling sex and seeing sex. 'I wanted to be doing it as well. I was jealous of them [the porn stars]. 'I was enraged that I couldn't even have sex in private.' Now he is starting to let his walls down by writing a book called 'Colours of a rare bird.' He says writing how he feels down has helped him overcome shame and he has volunteered for the first time ever at his local pride. Andrew says he dislikes that people will laugh about others being virgins. He said: 'It's not funny. 'By now I should be openly gay — I should be in a relationship. 'I'm not afraid to admit it now [that he's a virgin].'


Daily Mirror
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mirror
'I'm a 47-year-old virgin - and I'm not ashamed'
Andrew Brookman has never been in a relationship and says he has always been 'timid' A 47-year-old man says he is still a virgin due to his "petrifying" fear of intimacy. Andrew Brookman, who hails from Pontypridd, Wales, admits that he's always been "timid", with school bullying exacerbating his social anxieties. His parents divorced when he was just 10 years old, further fuelling his fears of social interaction, relationships, and intimacy. Andrew did not want to experience the arguments he had witnessed in his parents' relationship, leading him to develop a "fear of life" and a preference for solitude. He also believes that his fears were compounded by suppressing his sexuality and witnessing homophobia during his formative years. Pornography became his "only outlet" and reference point for sex, leading to an addiction where he would watch it for up to two hours every night throughout his 30s. However, Andrew is now beginning to embrace his sexuality and no longer feels ashamed of being a 47-year-old virgin. He finds solace in relating to participants on Channel 4's new show Virgin Island, which offers a unique course in intimacy to help individuals overcome their fears. Andrew, who works as a cleaner, said: "I've never been in a relationship. Watching other people get divorced - and seeing arguments gave me a fear of being social and intimate." Andrew, who has been open about his experiences, said he felt a deep-seated sense of shame about being a virgin, which was exacerbated by his struggles with low self-esteem and confidence. He said: "I didn't want to go through all that - I'd rather be on my own. You feel a sense of shame (being a virgin). Having no confidence, no self-esteem and no self-worth and being repressed of sex drove me to seek therapy because I was petrified of getting intimate with anybody. I am not ashamed of being a virgin at 47." Growing up, Andrew faced difficulties and often felt like an outsider. He said: "I've always been timid and quiet, I've always been afraid, I've always been emotional. I got bullied in school. I was different. I was odd." As a teenager, Andrew had crushes on girls but lacked the confidence to take things further. "I wanted to move forward but I couldn't because of my confidence," he added. At 16, Andrew discovered he was attracted to men, but the fear of being openly gay in a society plagued by homophobia at the time led him to keep his true self hidden. He said: "The fear grew. I went into the closet." Andrew sought therapy and was prescribed antidepressants in his late 20s, but he continued to struggle. He continued to battle his porn addiction in his 30s. Andrew said: "It was my only outlet. It was my only way of feeling sex and seeing sex. I wanted to be doing it as well. I was jealous of them (porn stars). I was enraged that I couldn't even have sex in private." Andrew, who has always been guarded, is now baring his soul through the pages of his new book 'Colours of a rare bird'. He shares that penning his emotions has been a cathartic journey, helping him overcome shame and even led him to volunteer at his local Pride for the first time. Opening up about society's ridicule towards virgins, Andrew expressed his frustration, stating: "It's not funny. By now I should be openly gay - I should be in a relationship. I'm not afraid to admit (that I'm a virgin) now."


Wales Online
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Wales Online
'I'm a 47-year-old virgin - I'm terrified of being intimate with anyone'
'I'm a 47-year-old virgin - I'm terrified of being intimate with anyone' Andrew Brookman says he is no longer ashamed of being a virgin as he nears 50 Andrew Brookman says he is 'petrified' to be intimate with anyone A man says he is still a virgin at 47 as he is "petrified" to be intimate with anyone. Andrew Brookman says he's always been "timid" and struggled with bullying at school. His parents divorced when he was aged 10 which fuelled his fear of being social, getting into a relationship or being intimate with anyone, he claims. Andrew did not want to go through arguments and had a "fear of life" so felt he would "rather be on my own". He says his fears also stemmed from suppressing his sexuality and homophobia he saw at the time he was growing up. Porn became his "only outlet" and reference for sex and Andrew says he struggled with an addiction to watching it for up to a two hours a night everyday when he was in his 30s. Now he is starting to open up about his sexuality and is no longer ashamed of being a 47-year-old-virgin. He feels he can relate to those on Channel 4's new show, Virgin Island - a unique course in intimacy to help them overcome the fears that are holding them back. Andrew says childhood struggles have had a major impact on his life Andrew, a cleaner, from Pontypridd, Wales, said: "I've never been in a relationship. Watching other people get divorced - and seeing arguments gave me a fear of being social and intimate. "I didn't want to go through all that - I'd rather be on my own. You feel a sense of shame (being a virgin). Having no confidence, no self-esteem and no self-worth and being repressed of sex drove me to seek therapy because I was petrified of getting intimate with anybody. I am not ashamed of being a virgin at 47." Andrew struggled growing up and always felt he was "different". He said: "I've always been timid and quiet, I've always been afraid, I've always been emotional. I got bullied in school. I was different. I was odd." As a teenager he "fancied girls" but didn't know how to progress any further. He said: "I wanted to move forward but I couldn't because of my confidence." Andrew is writing a book about his life At aged 16, Andrew realised he was attracted to men and gay but he was fearful of opening up about his sexuality due to homophobia in society at the time. He said: "The fear grew. I went into the closet." In his late 20s he had therapy and was put on anti-depressants but Andrew still struggled to get past his fear. He also tackled a porn addiction in his 30s when he got his own place - which saw him watch it every night. Andrew said: "It was my only outlet. It was my only way of feeling sex and seeing sex. I wanted to be doing it as well. I was jealous of them (porn stars). I was enraged that I couldn't even have sex in private." Now he is starting to let his walls down by writing a book - 'Colours of a rare bird'. He says writing how he feels down has helped him overcome shame and he has volunteered for the first time ever at his local pride. Andrew says he dislikes that people will laugh about others being virgins. He said: "It's not funny. By now I should be openly gay - I should be in a relationship. I'm not afraid to admit (that I'm a virgin) now." Article continues below Find out more about Andrew's book here -