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'My husband was an incel, but we found a way to make our marriage work'
'My husband was an incel, but we found a way to make our marriage work'

Daily Mirror

time03-06-2025

  • Entertainment
  • Daily Mirror

'My husband was an incel, but we found a way to make our marriage work'

A woman has revealed that as a younger man, her husband was an 'incel' and she has explained what she believes were the reasons behind his early stuggles to form relationships In recent years, incel culture has forced its way into the public's consciousness - with parents becoming concerned about the content their children are consuming online. The hit show Adolescence captured attention across the UK when it dropped on Netflix earlier this year, depicting how youngsters can get caught up in the so-called 'Manosphere'. Through the plot about a 13-year-old boy murdering a girl from school, it also explored how toxic narratives about gender can leave a big impact at such an impressionable age. ‌ An independent study published on the government's Commission for Countering Extremism website, defines incels - involuntary celibates - as "a sub-culture community of men who forge a sense of identity around their perceived inability to form sexual or romantic relationships". ‌ The so-called movement preys on the naivety of younger men who might be struggling to get a girlfriend. It weaponises their plight and argues that the problem lies with women, not men, with the likes of self-confessed misogynist Andrew Tate leading the charge. The study, which surveyed 561 incels, alarmingly showed that 38.9 percent of those participating in incel forums suffered from depression, and 43 percent dealt with anxiety - with 21.6 percent saying they regularly had suicidal thoughts. This correlation between poor mental health and those taking part in the incel online communities was noted as "concerning given the relationship between suicide-risk and depression and anxiety in men" by the study, which also showed that 48 percent of respondents reported the highest levels of loneliness in the survey. It is no wonder that parents are now on high alert. One parent went looking for advice on a forum for city-based mums and dads, on how to tell if a teenage boy has fallen into an online incel community, writing: "I have a 13 year old DS who I love dearly. I worry all the time about the world he is growing up in. We keep close tabs on friends and online activity but I really worry that he is going to be influenced by terrible outside sources one way or the other. "I can't be everywhere and he needs to grow up with some freedom and self autonomy. But I worry. Parents who had boys who became incels or failed to launch. Were there signs that you missed? Were you able to intervene? Did they come out of it and change? What would you do differently?" ‌ The post began a wide-ranging discussion on the forum, with one poster writing a list of what they believed was needed to ensure that a young boy doesn't fall prey to misogyny or incel communities online: "Boys need: A mom at home. Almost zero screen time. Male and female friends, in real life. A good education, either at home or in a private school. Lots of fresh air every day. "If you're not doing that, you're gonna have a bad time. Bottom line," they wrote. In one response, another woman revealed that her husband had been an incel, and revealed how they managed to make their marriage work. ‌ "My husband is a former incel. Growing up, he lacked all of the above and it made him angry and stuck in that failure to launch way.... [the] list is really a good one," she wrote. "Dh is now 43 happily married because of handsome and smart and was able to grow out of the awful home life. But as a young man missing 100% of [this] list, he was an incel. The environmental part is clear as day for me." Reduction of screen time for young people is widely acknowledged as generally beneficial for their mental health - but when it comes to those who might have started engaging with online incel communities, it may be even more crucial. ‌ The CCE's study shows that online forums are often used as "an outlet for expressing misogynistic hostility" and that "analyses of the incel ecosystem have repeatedly demonstrated high levels of toxic and misogynistic language". One extreme post from an incel forum, previously reported by The Mirror, showed just how negatively some of these young perceive women, and their tendency to ruminate on their sense of themselves as victims of the modern world: "When we are done, women will be erased from public space. They will be locked away in dungeons with no sunlight ready to be used and abused as we see fit. "We will reduce women's worth to nothing through full automation of female sexual and reproductive labour with perfectly realistic sex dolls that have realistic skin texture, warmth, muscle and fat, as well as artificial wombs which outperform the natural womb of mothers. Women will regret ever challenging us men, for we are superior and more human than them." Terrifyingly, the CCE study is not the only one pointing out alarming patterns amongst younger people. Vodafone recently conducted research that showed 56 percent of boys between the ages of 11 to 14 are aware of and familiar with influencers like Andrew Tate, who are part of the 'manosphere' and 70 percent of teachers say that there has been an increase in misogynistic language in their classrooms.

UK extremism commission solicits Prevent complaints from far-right social media
UK extremism commission solicits Prevent complaints from far-right social media

Middle East Eye

time28-01-2025

  • Politics
  • Middle East Eye

UK extremism commission solicits Prevent complaints from far-right social media

The UK's Commission for Countering Extremism (CCE) is soliciting complaints about the Prevent counterterrorism programme from anonymous far-right social media accounts, Middle East Eye can reveal. A review of the commission's recent activity on the social media platform X found it has engaged with posts purportedly written by people critical of public sector Prevent training, including posts which suggest that the programme is "turning a blind eye to Islam" while exaggerating the threat posed by the far right. In one case, the commission intervened in response to a comment from an account named British Lionness posted as part of a thread reacting to unrest in the English city of Leeds in July last year, when hundreds took to the streets and a double-decker bus was set on fire. Major far-right commentators online blamed Muslims and "third world" migrants for the events. The thread was prompted by a post from an account named Queen Natalie which asked: 'Please tell me when the last time native British white people have riot on mass like the cultural invaders who come here?' New MEE newsletter: Jerusalem Dispatch Sign up to get the latest insights and analysis on Israel-Palestine, alongside Turkey Unpacked and other MEE newsletters Queen Natalie describes herself on her X profile as 'English' and a 'Patriot' who has had 'enough of the WOKE ideology that's infected the West'. An anonymous account called Repost X replied in a now-deleted post, saying: 'Romanian gypsies kicking off in Leeds', using a derogatory term for Roma people. This was followed by the reply from the British Lioness account, which complained: 'I go on 'prevent' training for work frequently the woke home office women who gives it always refers to the last terrorist attack in the U.K. was by a far right white man ! '3 courses in the last 6 months and she repeats Far Right is the problem !' Engaging with far-right accounts The next reply in the thread, however, came not from another anonymous account but from the CCE's official X account. 'Hello, we process and investigate complaints about Prevent and are interested in finding out more about the training referenced above,' the CCE said in its post. Robin Simcox: A cheerleader for the UK government's own brand of extremism Read More » 'Please feel free to DM us, tweet us back, or make a formal complaint using this link.' A link to a government webpage entitled 'Make a complaint about Prevent' was attached. There was no visible reply from British Lioness. MEE's findings appear to raise further questions about the role of the commission, currently headed by Robin Simcox, which was made responsible for overseeing Prevent by the previous Conservative government following a contentious review of the programme by William Shawcross. Shawcross' review had called for a renewed focus within Prevent on "Islamist extremism" while suggesting it had concentrated too much on the far right. Simcox, whose appointment in 2022 drew widespread criticism owing to his record of working for think tanks accused of Islamophobia, has also previously criticised Prevent for putting too much emphasis on the far right - advocating for a greater focus on Islamist extremism. But the controversial programme is now facing fresh scrutiny after it was revealed last week that a teenager convicted of the murders of three young girls in Southport last year had been referred to Prevent three times as a schoolboy. 'The CCE's reliance on unverified, anonymous far-right social media accounts for criticism of Prevent is a desperate attempt to amplify ideologically driven narratives' - Layla Aitlhadj, Prevent Watch Prime Minister Keir Starmer promised a review of the "entire counter-extremist system" and announced the appointment of Lord David Anderson to the new role of independent Prevent commissioner - apparently sidelining the CCE. Home Secretary Yvette Cooper said she had ordered a review of Prevent referral thresholds and suggested that referrals for Islamist extremism had been 'too low', even though the Southport killer, Alex Rudakubana, was not a Muslim and police did not treat the attack as a terrorism incident. On Tuesday, leaks revealed that the Home Office's rapid review on extremism commissioned in August recommended a move from focusing on ideology to a wide range of "behaviours". But the government said it had rejected those recommendations, with Home Office minister Dan Jarvis saying: "Islamist extremism followed by far-right extremism are the biggest threats we face." The CCE was set up by the Home Office in 2018 with a remit to support and advise the government on policies to tackle extremism. Its original charter stated that it had no remit over Prevent or other counterterrorism policies. But the charter was removed without explanation in 2023, and the CCE has been operating since without one. 'Blind eye to Islam' Middle East Eye's review of the CCE's activity on X found that it has repeatedly engaged with anonymous users and asked them to give feedback about Prevent. These were X accounts who complained that Prevent focused too little on Islam and Muslims, or too much on far-right extremism. There was no apparent record of the CCE engaging with X accounts who complained that Prevent targeted Muslims unfairly, a common criticism of the policy. On 6 October last year, an anonymous X account called mark posted that Prevent training, which is mandatory for public sector workers, 'is basically about turning a blind eye to islam and focusing all your attention in the wrong place.' Months later on 18 December, the CCE replied to the post with the same message that it sent to British Lioness, including a link to the complaints webpage. Hello, we process and investigate complaints about Prevent and are interested in finding out more about the training referenced above. Please feel free to DM us, tweet us back, or make a formal complaint using this link. — Commission for Countering Extremism (@CommissionCE) December 18, 2024 The X account the CCE had replied to, mark, had posted earlier on 6 October calling the Quran a 'book of gibberish'. Two days before, it had said Pope Francis should 'shut the fuck up'. On 8 October, an account called Finlay Brannon - which displayed an animated animal as its profile picture - posted complaining that 'if you do prevent training the examples used are of imaginary far right incidents'. On 18 December, over two months later, the CCE replied, again with a post asking the account to 'DM us, tweet us back, or make a formal complaint'. Brannon had shared a racist post on 23 September urging the 'black community' to tell the Metropolitan Police who had killed a police officer. Seemingly endorsing the post, Brannon remarked: 'Indeed'. He had also shared a 7 September post saying: 'I lit my cigarette with Quran paper while Muslims were screaming and I was laughing', accompanied by a video of the incident. 'Fake news and a waste' The CCE replied on 21 October to a post on 18 August by Stanley Percival Simmonds, author of the May 2024 book, A Manifesto for Saving Britain, the British, and British Culture, which argues for net-zero migration and warns that the 'complete death of Britishness is within sight'. Simmons described Prevent training as a 'joke', saying: 'The agent of the state who was doing the training explained to us he wasn't one of those people who shies away from talking about Islamic terrorism, and then spent an hour talking about 'the far right' and Andrew Tate.' The CCE asked him to submit a complaint. 'Controlled spontaneity': The secret UK government blueprints shaping post-terror planning Read More » The same day, the commission replied to another post from 22 August by an anonymous account called Jan, whose profile read 'Lecturer. Far-Right (apparently)'. Jan said that her Prevent training 'showed images of Lawrence Fox and Katie Hopkins as ERW [extreme right wing] examples, so it'll be interesting to see if anything has changed'. Fox and Hopkins are prominent British far-right and anti-Islam activists. The CCE asked Jan to submit a complaint. Also on 21 October, the CCE posted a link to the Prevent complaints form under a post by GB News commentator Connor Tomlinson from August, about the Home Office's secretive unit which, Tomlinson said, 'manipulates public opinion in the aftermath of terror attacks'. The CCE further replied to a post beneath Tomlinson's that said: 'I've done the Prevent training. It's massively biased. Lots of "far-right" discussion and examples, islamic terrorists only briefly mentioned in passing but they quickly get back to "far-right. It's fake news and a waste, although the safeguarding bit works I believe.' There were other instances when the CCE responded to anonymous X accounts. Last week, right groups criticised Yvette Cooper for claiming that Prevent referrals for Islamist extremism have been 'too low' despite data indicating that Muslims are more likely than others to be wrongly reported and questioned under the counter-extremism strategy. Hello, we process and investigate complaints about Prevent and are interested in finding out more about the training referenced above. Please feel free to DM us, tweet us back, or make a formal complaint using this link. — Commission for Countering Extremism (@CommissionCE) October 21, 2024 In August 2024, a United Nations report strongly criticised Prevent and said it was 'particularly concerned about the high number of interventions and referrals of persons belonging to Muslim communities, especially children'. Layla Aitlhadj, director of Prevent Watch, told MEE: 'The CCE's reliance on unverified, anonymous far-right social media accounts for criticism of Prevent is a desperate attempt to amplify biased and ideologically driven narratives.' She added that the revelations reinforce concerns about the commission's 'lack of rigour and impartiality'. 'With the announcement of an independent reviewer for Prevent, this appears to be a desperate bid to remain relevant in a shifting landscape.' MEE contacted the CCE for comment but did not receive a response by time of publication. MEE also contacted the Home Office for comment, but was referred to the CCE.

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