Latest news with #CorySpondent
Top Gear
6 hours ago
- Automotive
- Top Gear
UK ambassador summoned after Brit firm adds Rover V8 into Italian supercar
UK ambassador summoned after Brit firm adds Rover V8 into Italian supercar Outcry triggers international incident over inclusion of 'incorrect' engine Skip 1 photos in the image carousel and continue reading Turn on Javascript to see all the available pictures. Here's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring An association representing boutique Italian carmakers has summoned the UK ambassador following a British company's decision to fit a Rover V8 into its Italian-inspired supercar. Advertisement - Page continues below Bella Potere, working out of an industrial estate in Stevenage, recently revealed the 'Macchina 1' performance car, heavily influenced by Italy's world famous and historic automotive industry. However, the Macchina 1 has since caused an outcry after its makers revealed it was powered by a Rover V8, and not a big, high-revving Italian-made V12. understands the government is now hastily preparing an envoy to soothe international relations. 'You cannot call it an 'Italian' supercar if it is made with a Rover V8,' a source close to the association said. 'It's terrible. Italian supercars should not be made with Rover V8s. Rover V8s are for boxy 4x4s and unreliable supercars made out of fibreglass. Advertisement - Page continues below 'Our entire automotive tradition is based on screaming, highly-strung V6s and V8s and V12s. We even have a nice line in punchy four-cylinder engines. Sometimes, all of them even work properly too. 'But a British engine from a defunct carmaker occasionally used for trucks, in a supercar 'inspired by Italy'? Mamma mia what kind of hell are you cooking up over there? 'We have sent letters to every high ranking official in the British government. We've even told the Pope. His Holiness will not stand for such sacrilege,' the source added. Top Gear Newsletter Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. Look out for your regular round-up of news, reviews and offers in your inbox. Get all the latest news, reviews and exclusives, direct to your inbox. Success Your Email*
Top Gear
5 days ago
- Automotive
- Top Gear
Report: GTA 6 mission to include replacing subframe bush on Mafia Sentinel
Satire Incoming game to allow player impossible task of boring car maintenance Skip 1 photos in the image carousel and continue reading Here's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring A mission in upcoming videogame Grand Theft Auto VI will be focused entirely on replacing a worn rear subframe bush on a Mafia Sentinel, insiders have revealed. Advertisement - Page continues below Despite its billing as a hugely complex, multifaceted crime drama, the game's designers were keen to marry the narrative-rich, explosive gameplay with the extraordinarily mundane world of car maintenance. As such, players will be offered side quests that not only involve replacing rear subframe bushes on classic GTA cars, but also in dealing with snapped bolts, impossibly tight nuts, rusty sills and parts shipping delays. You might like 'When we said GTA 6 will set a new benchmark for all entertainment, we meant it,' the insider said. 'And that includes the mind-numbingly dreary but inexplicably satisfying act of replacing a worn rear subframe bush on a fictional executive limousine. 'Sure, this blockbuster game will feature expertly-crafted dialogue, shoot-outs, wild helicopter sequences, speedboats blowing each other up and the kind of storyline that'd sweep up every Oscar going. But at its heart, Grand Theft Auto has always been about cars. Advertisement - Page continues below 'And cars break down. They rust. Their bushes perish and their water pumps give out and their bolts seize and their air-conditioning compressors fail and their cabin pollen filters require a degree in engineering to replace. We will enter this grey world of automotive drudgery, and we will make it sparkle.' The insider later admitted that attempting to source the replacement subframe bush would involve a complicated pre-mission involving a 520mph mid-air heist on a cargo aircraft transporting the parts while shooting down rival car maintenance garages in F-15 fighter jets during a thunderstorm. Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. Look out for your regular round-up of news, reviews and offers in your inbox. Get all the latest news, reviews and exclusives, direct to your inbox.
Top Gear
01-08-2025
- Automotive
- Top Gear
Exclusive: futurist predicts last car on Earth will be grey, 1.2-litre Honda Jazz
Satire 'It will outlast us all,' experts announce Skip 1 photos in the image carousel and continue reading Here's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring The only car able to outlast humanity's time on planet Earth will most likely be a first-generation Honda Jazz, experts have announced. Advertisement - Page continues below Futurologists have released the findings of a new study looking at automotive longevity in a changing landscape, and found that despite huge technological advances humankind has made and is yet to make, an old, 2002 Mk1 Jazz with faded paint will probably outlast everything. 'We looked at every possible scenario, every single make and model of car, every conceivable automotive invention and transport-based solution the best brains on our planet will make, and nothing – we repeat, nothing - will be as dependable as a hardy little Japanese city car,' the expert said. You might like 'Nothing is as able to resist extreme temperatures, parts shortages, dodgy service intervals, varying levels of mechanical sympathy, and outright Armageddon-spec vehicular abuse like an old Honda Jazz. 'It will bear various dings from driving into parking bollards and from being driven into by doomed fleets of autonomous robotaxis, which the Jazz will comfortably outlive. The oil might not have been changed in 50,000 miles. There'll be a slight smell of damp from the back. The radio won't work and the glovebox won't open. Advertisement - Page continues below 'But by god the car will be running absolutely perfectly. 'Never before in the history of our field has a human invention been so reliable, indestructible and forgettable as to outlast the lifespan of most species on the planet and not even warrant a mention in the history books. If there'll even be a history book once we're all gone. 'Mark my words: when the time comes, the last car standing will be a Honda Jazz with three million miles on the clock,' the expert added. 'Three million miles? That's practically brand new, my dear,' a Mk1 Honda Jazz owner said. 'Now, if you'd be so kind as to help me find my reading glasses.' Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. Look out for your regular round-up of news, reviews and offers in your inbox. Get all the latest news, reviews and exclusives, direct to your inbox.
Top Gear
23-07-2025
- Automotive
- Top Gear
‘Well done, clowns': DVSA introduces IQ test for owners of 500bhp+ family SUVs
'Well done, clowns': DVSA introduces IQ test for owners of 500bhp+ family SUVs New exams are due to small minority unable to understand basic common sense Skip 1 photos in the image carousel and continue reading Turn on Javascript to see all the available pictures. Here's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring The DVSA is set to announce mandatory IQ tests for anyone in possession of a family SUV producing more than 500bhp, insiders have revealed. Advertisement - Page continues below It follows an unprecedented rise in road-going idiocy and inexplicable driving behaviour from a small minority of motorists who have, as usual, absolutely ruined it for everyone. The radical new plan will see compulsory intelligence exams for applicable owners to test their understanding of the basic laws of motion and assess their ability to follow the most rudimentary tenets of common sense. One example given by officials is that 'Track' mode in a large, tall car weighing close to three tonnes is 'probably a bit unnecessary' when travelling through a 30mph residential area. 'Currently anybody able to take up an attractive lease offer can get themselves into an overpowered, street-legal space shuttle without ever understanding basic principles of speed, mass, geography and public decorum. Advertisement - Page continues below 'We've had a few reports of drivers of such cars fishtailing out of junctions and nearly swiping everyone around them because they did not fully comprehend the notion that 500bhp+ on a wet road in an inexplicably large car will end up in a spin if you just bury the throttle. 'Most people with even a passing interest in the workings of dynamics could have spotted this. Not these people. So we're going to have to ruin it for everyone. 'Slow clap. Well done, clowns.' Top Gear Newsletter Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. Look out for your regular round-up of news, reviews and offers in your inbox. Get all the latest news, reviews and exclusives, direct to your inbox. Success Your Email*
Top Gear
11-07-2025
- Climate
- Top Gear
Report: 98 per cent of Britain's roads melted
Report: 98 per cent of Britain's roads melted Experts find recent heatwave liquefied majority of British highways Skip 1 photos in the image carousel and continue reading Turn on Javascript to see all the available pictures. Here's roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring The vast majority of Britain's roads have melted following two successive heatwaves, according to experts. Advertisement - Page continues below Britain's penchant for endless rain, perpetual grey skies and general year-round weather misery meant a few days of uninterrupted sunshine had obliterated 98 per cent of its uniquely ruinous road network. Now experts are calling for a government task force to create a nationwide fleet of floating tanks able to navigate miles of liquefied tarmac. 'Nobody saw this coming,' a weather expert told 'More than two consecutive days of sunshine was a story we told our children at bedtimes. Or went abroad to discover and then complain about. 'But back-to-back days of 30-degree heat is categorically not something Britain is accustomed to, and something this country's road network and infrastructure is wholly unprepared for. Advertisement - Page continues below 'It's all gone. Melted. Every road dissolved beyond recognition and seeping its way back into the Earth's core. Right now, all our cars are basically Arnie in Terminator 2 sinking into the hot lava at the end. 'Only our cars aren't heroically putting their thumbs up,' the expert added. Meteorologists are predicting cooler temperatures into the next week, with some light and entirely predictable rain showers. 'Light rain? There goes the country's rail services. Bus replacement for you, friends,' a train operator noted. Top Gear Newsletter Thank you for subscribing to our newsletter. Look out for your regular round-up of news, reviews and offers in your inbox. Get all the latest news, reviews and exclusives, direct to your inbox. Success Your Email*
